The Stories of Leah Clearwater
by leeleeclearwater
Summary: Ever wondered what really happened to Leah and her life. Well here you go. An awesome fan-fic that follow's the saga, but is now given from Leah's perspective. The story continues with The Life of Leah Clearwater.
1. Chapter 1

** The Stories of Leah Clearwater **

**Chapter 1 - The Beginning**

My life was like, any other teenage girls life. Well at least I thought so. I just assumed the media had all girls figured out. They seemed to hit the marker with me. What I saw on television, was fairly close to how I lived. A young girl who came from a small town nobody ever heard of. I was a freshman at the Quileute Tribal School. I had long black hair, with copper skin, and beautiful brown eyes. Ok stretching it there. I was a typical teenage girl. I was interested in boys, but what girl wasn't that liked boys. I had imagined what my wedding dress would look like. I had my entire wedding planned out. I had my famous crushes that I fantasized about. I listened to the Top 40 songs on the radio. I had my teen girl magazine with all the gossip. I enjoyed shopping, and fashion. I looked forward to my proms. I'd already had dresses picked out for those in my head. I day dreamed about my date for prom. I had a plan already established. What young girl doesn't do this?

So now time to give you some insight on my family. I came from a very loving home. I had two amazing parents, and a little brother. Seth was younger than me, by a few years. I would always joke about him being a pain in the butt. Honestly Seth, and I have a great relationship. We're extremely close, and I don't think anything can change that. So now some background on Harry, and Sue Clearwater. They were the parents who ALWAYS, offered to listen to your problems. It was a nice gesture, but I needed some privacy. They couldn't fix everything for me, if there was a problem. My mom was always in the kitchen when she was home it seemed, offering to make you something to eat if you were hungry. When she wasn't in there, she was a nurse at the local hospital. Her younger brother, Lucas was laid back, and easy going. He was a carpenter. My mom said I look a lot like him. My dad worked with his older brother. My Uncle Michael owned a garage in Forks, which was the next town over. My dad worked with him, since he was a teenager. I loved my dad, he was so easy going, and had a great sense of humor. I can't remember a day when he wasn't smiling. I was extremely close with my family. My Aunt Elizabeth, who was my dad's younger sister, was a jewelry maker. She made such pretty necklaces, rings, earrings. She would sell her jewelry to shops all around Washington. My cousin Emily and I WERE, like sisters.

Now I grew up on the Quileute Reservation, in a small town called, La Push. Everyone knew everyone which was somewhat obnoxious. Secrets were hard to keep, especially with your family around all the time. Everyone knew everything about everyone. The good thing was we were a tight knit community. I loved living here, and couldn't imagine growing up anywhere else. The ocean was right across the street from our house. I would spend hours at a time down there. On many occasions, either my dad, or brother came to get me for dinner. I tended to lose track of time while I was down there.

So I know you're wondering, "Does she have a boyfriend?" Well yes I do but, I need to give you some background on, Sam Uley. You see Sam, grew up with his mother Allison. His dad, Joshua Uley took off when he was really young. Allison raised Sam by herself. He didn't have it very easy not having a male role model. He was a year ahead of me in school. He and I were the same age as well. We'd known each other our whole lives. Now getting back to what I was saying. He was on the top of my list, for reasons why I loved La Push. We attended school together. I always had a crush on him. He'd catch me staring at him, and chuckle. I would turn red out of embarrassment. We would talk from time, to time in passing, but we never really hung out. Once we entered high school, that's when our relationship changed. Sam was a sophomore, and I was a freshman. We constantly bumped into each other at school. I was too shy to say anything. He'd just smile and say, "Hi Lee-Lee." Those just made me blush even more. My friends would laugh, "Oh Leah's crushing on Sam Uley." He'd hear them of course, because they'd say it extra loud. He'd just grin.

Well one day after school, I was spending my time sitting down at First Beach after school. It was like any other typical afternoon for me. The ocean was calmly speaking to me. The seagulls squawked as they flew overhead. I had the entire beach to myself, well that was until someone sat down beside me in the sand. "May I join you?" He asked with his warm, deep, mesmerizing voice. "Uh, yeah." I stuttered. Sam chuckled and smiled at me. I was lost for words. "So what are you up to this afternoon?" He asked smiling. "Nothing." My voice squeaked. Sam laughed, as I blushed under my copper skin. The wind started to gently blow my hair. Before I could fix it, he gently pushed my hair back behind my ear, whispering in it, "You're beautiful Leah Clearwater." He sat back up, and smiled at me. I didn't say a word. I was trying to control the butterflies that were flying wildly within me. We continued to sit on the beach. He just looked at me smiling. There was a connection right away. I could feel the electricity between us. It was amazing. "Do you always spend your afternoons here at the beach?" Sam asked. "Everyday actually." He raised an eyebrow, "Rainy days as well?" I smiled, "That's what they make umbrellas for." I kept looking at Sam and was lost in his beautiful brown eyes. Sam cleared his throat softly. "So do you any plans for tomorrow afternoon?" He asked trying not to grin. I quickly looked at the ocean bashfully. I didn't have an answer. Well I did have an answer actually. How could I tell this cute guy, "Yes my plan is to spend another afternoon with you here?" I must have left my body momentarily, daydreaming because he was looking at me "Well?" he asked again smiling. I bit down on my lip. "No. I will probably come down here for awhile. Then head home and do any homework I may have." I replied. Once again he smiled. "Do you mind if I join you tomorrow?" I blushed once again, a deep red. "NO! I mean wait." I was jumbling my words. He chuckled, "So no you don't mind. Alright sounds like a date." I smiled, "Sounds good ." He smiled. We continued to sit quietly, and talk for some time, until it was sunset. "Well I should probably be heading home. My mom will be having dinner soon." I said slowly getting to my feet. "May I walk you home?" Sam asked smiling softly. I nodded smiling, "Of course. I would love the company." I knew we didn't have far to walk, but it allowed me a few more minutes with him. As we started walking, he took my hand in his. I peeked up at him under my lashes, and he just smiled. We stood outside my front door, "Here we are." Sam announced. I was disappointed we were already at my house. "So should I meet up with you tomorrow, say at 3:00pm on the beach?" He asked with a smile that made me melt. "Sounds good." I squeaked. Sam laughed. Before I turned to go inside Sam took my face into his strong hands, and ever so gently placed a kiss on my lips. "Goodnight Leah." He said smiling, and then turned and started walking down the street. I had to catch my breath. I couldn't believe it. Sam Uley just kissed me. My heart was pounding. I had a smile from ear to ear. I turned, and walked inside.

I walked in, poking my head into the kitchen. My mom was making dinner. "Hi sweetie, how was your day?" She asked. I was about to burst from excitement. She turned to look at me. "Leah what is it? You're glowing." She was curious. "Mom I spent the afternoon with Sam, Sam Uley. We hung out at the beach." I grinned. My mom stood there listening. "So I take it you had a good time?" she asked curious. I just smiled even wider. "He is so sweet mom. I can't explain how I felt when I was with him. My heart was racing and he is so gentle and sweet." I was gushing. "It sounds like someone has a crush. Maybe even a first love interest." My mom smiled hugging me. I giggled, "He kissed me just now. MOM! He kissed me. I can't believe it." She laughed, "I'm happy for you. Now go wash up, dinner will be ready soon." She gave me a smile and turned back to the stove. I headed for my room and I flopped on the bed. I laid there thinking of Sam.

The next day I went down to the beach and sat there for a while. The only noise I could hear were the waves crashing against the shore. "Well hello." A deep voice said. Sam sat down beside me. "Have you been here long?" he smiled. "I've only been here about an hour. It's been peaceful. I have no complaints." I smiled back. "Well I am glad to hear that." Sam said. "So is there anything on the agenda for us today?" He questioned. "I hadn't planned anything why?" He smiled at me. "I was just curious." He gently put his arm around me and pulled me against his chest, wrapping his arms around me. I felt so safe at that moment. He gently kissed the top of my head. "Leah, I hope you don't feel like, well I'm moving too fast. We can slow things down." I looked up at him, "Sam we've grown up together. You're not a stranger. Honestly, I've had a crush on you for quite some time." He smiled, "I know about your crush. You can't hide it well. I think it's cute when you blush." I smiled, "Well I'm glad you're ok with us. I really do like you." He kissed me on the cheek. We sat, and talked about what we wanted in the future. "So what do you want Leah. What are you hopes, and dreams?" Sam smiled looking at me. I thought about it for a moment, "I would like to attend college. I'm interested in becoming a nurse like my mom. One day to get married, have children, grandchildren. Be with my soul mate until the day we have to part ways." Sam smiled, "Soul mate huh. I would love to have children, and get married as well. I'm not sure about school. I enjoy working with my hands. Maybe construction? I'm not really sure." We continued to talk, and the hours passed much too quickly for me. The sun started to set,"Well beautiful, it's that time of day again. I'm sorry." Sam helped me up and we walked back to my house. "So tomorrow, our new meeting place?" Sam grinned. "That sounds good to me." I smiled softly at him. He gently kissed me on the forehead. "Goodnight Lee-Lee, and sleep well." He smiled then left.

I walked inside, and flopped on the couch. "Oh Sam." Seth said proceeding with overly dramatized kisses. He was killing himself laughing. "Oh be quiet brat. Move over your taking up the whole couch." I said jokingly shoving Seth. "Seth Kai Clearwater, stop picking on your sister." My mom said from the kitchen. "Do I have too?" Seth pouted. I just sat there glowing. I'd had two great days in a row. I knew at this moment we were in love. Sam made my heart skip a beat. Seeing him brought a smile to my face that nobody could erase. Being with him let me forget about any problems I may have. He was my soul-mate. His touch was so gentle. Sam was perfect in so many ways. I know every girl says that about, "THEIR MAN" but, there was something about him. I can't quite explain it. Sam was my world.

He, and I were always together. Every afternoon, rain or shine we met at the beach. I would wait with an umbrella, on the days it rained. If we couldn't sit on the beach, we'd find somewhere dry to go. Slowly days became months, and months passed by, and we were approaching two years. There was not a single thing we didn't know about one another. We could finish each other's sentences. We knew favorite foods, music, colors, movies and books. As I sat there I could see myself spending my life with Sam. He was my soul mate. Sam would be graduating soon. He would work, and save up for us. I would start college in September, after graduating. One day we were lying on the sand at the beach. "What are you thinking about Leah?" He asked rolling onto his side to look at me. He propped himself up with his arm giving me that smile that made me melt. I turned my gaze towards him. "I'm not quite sure. There are multiple things." I replied. "Well for someone who isn't sure what they are thinking about, you seem to be pretty quiet. From my experience when someone is that quiet they are usually thinking about something important." Sam smiled. "I don't know. I guess I am thinking about how lucky I am to have you." I smiled and kissed him gently on the lips. He ran his fingers through my hair, "Anything else?" he asked. "Well one day I see us getting married, and having children." He looked at me, "I like that idea." The waves crashed against the shore in the background. He held me so gently, "Leah Clearwater, I promise to always be there for you in every way possible. I love you." I could hear my heart racing. "I promise the same to you Sam Uley." I kissed him lightly on the lips.

The sun had almost set when he walked me home. We stopped at my front door. "Well my love it's time for me to go home once again. Until tomorrow, sleep well and sweet dreams. I love you." He leaned down, and gently placed a kiss on my forehead. "Goodnight Sam. I love you too." I kissed his soft cheek, and smiled. He slowly let go of my hands, and turned and walked down the street. I stood there watching until Sam was no longer visible. I just leaned against the front door. Then I heard my dad's truck pull up. "I see I have a welcoming committee this evening. Thanks Leah." My dad smiled. "Hi there how was your day?" I gave him a huge hug as he approached. "It's great now that I am home with my family. So is there a reason you are standing out here?" He asked. "Oh, um...Sam just dropped me off. It's nothing big." I smiled. "I see." He replied. "Oh young love. Your mom and I used to be like you and Sam." He chuckled, and I blushed. "I'm going inside now." I quickly ducked in the house.

That night after dinner I went into my room, to lie down on my bed. I just finished my homework, and put it away in my backpack. The phone rang, and I leaned over answering it, "Hello." I waited to see who was on the other end. "Hey sis how are you doing? How is the boyfriend doing?" I smiled flopping back on my bed, "Oh Emily he's wonderful. We talked about marriage, and kids. He's the one Emily I know it." She laughed, "Wow, so have you picked out a date yet?" I thought for a moment, "No. We're not engaged. We just have discussed everything we want." She chuckled, "Well I'm happy, as long as you're happy. Get some sleep. I will see you soon. I hung up, and fell asleep thinking about my future with Sam.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 ~ Our Secret. Sam's secret.**

Sam and I had been dating for three years now. It was wonderful. He always made me laugh. He listened to any problems I may have. School was going great for both of us. We'd been discussing our future together. I wanted to attend college. I knew nursing was what I wanted to do. Sam was interested in construction. We were always over one another's house. He spent the holidays with us. It was wonderful. We knew we were meant for one another. He was the one I shared some of the most important moments of my life with. Weeks continued to pass, and life was eventful. "Leah, I can't wait until we're married. I was wondering how long you would like to wait." I smiled, "I don't know. I know there's nobody else out there for me. I found the man I want to spend forever with. I want to have a family with you. I want to grow old with you." He smiled and gently pulled my face into his hands, and kissed me gently. "I wrapped my arms around his waist. The kiss made my heart flutter. He slowly pulled away, not letting go of me. He slid his hands down to my waist. "Well Leah, I want to marry you as soon as possible. I don't want you to feel rushed." I smiled, "Elope? I'm close enough to being an adult. My parents won't have a say." Sam smiled, "Alright then. Sounds like a plan then. This weekend, we'll get away." I just smiled, "I'll be Mrs. Leah Uley." He chuckled softly kissing my forehead, "I like the sound of that." We spent the rest of the evening quietly enjoying one another's company at my house, until he left to go home.

I walked down to the beach beyond excited. It was finally the weekend. Sam and I would be married tomorrow. I had told my mom we were going to Seattle for the day. She was clueless as to what our plan really was. There were other things on my mind at the moment as well. Sam and I had gone through a lot the past few weeks. Finally things had calmed down. Sam and I were going to be together. We were always there for one another. I waited patiently until I saw him walk onto the beach. I ran over to him, "Hi honey. I missed you." I wrapped my arms around his neck smiling. He felt warmer than normal. I thought he had a fever. "Sam is everything alright. Are you feeling ok?" I asked worrying that he was sick. "I'M FINE LEAH! DON'T TOUCH ME!" he snapped at me. I backed up a little and sat down on the sand and he sat beside me. I put my hand out for his. He carefully took mine within his. I felt a little relief when we were holding hands. "Leah, I'm sorry I snapped at you." He looked down at our hands that were inseparable now. His touch was so warm it bothered me. I had to ask again. "Sam you're sure you're ok?" He didn't answer me but let go of my hand and stood up. I quickly followed and stood up wrapping my arms around his neck. "Hey talk to me. Aren't you happy about tomorrow? It's finally here. I will be your wife." I tried to give him a kiss. He pulled my arms off of his neck and walked off. I was left standing there on the beach alone. My legs collapsed underneath me and I fell onto the sand.

I stared off at the water and watched the wave's crash against the shore as a storm was brewing. The sun was no longer providing any light. The sky had gone dark. I just sat there numb. I was cold but it didn't matter. I had a knot in my stomach. My cheeks stung now from the tears streaming down them. I couldn't cry anymore. I had a headache. I couldn't understand what I had done wrong. Was he getting cold feet? "Leah, are you ok?" A familiar voice asked me, interrupting my thoughts. I turned and saw my dad squatting beside me. "I...I...it's nothing." I stood up and brushed the sand off my pants. "You can always talk to your mother, and I if you need to." I just nodded, crossing my arms trying to stay warm. My dad stood up putting his arm around my shoulder as we walked back towards the house.

On the short walk home I fought back my tears. I couldn't cry anymore. Plus I'd have to explain what had happened. I just didn't have it in me. Plus I wasn't exactly sure what happened. I couldn't figure out why Sam was so harsh. I was on another planet. "Leah is everything ok?" You're awfully quiet. Did something happen?" My dad's voice rang with such clear concern. "It's nothing Sam and I had a misunderstanding." I tried to fake a smile. My dad looked at me, "LEAH HE DIDN'T HURT YOU DID HE?" We had stopped walking and were standing in the parking lot of the beach. My dad put his hands on my shoulders and was looking me straight in the face. "Leah Sky Clearwater." I sighed. "He snapped at me and pulled my arms off of him. I had tried to give him a hug." The tears were there. My dad sighed and pulled me into a hug. "Leah, I'm sorry that happened. Everything will be alright. Just get some sleep tonight. The both of you will be better tomorrow." We started walking again and, were back at the house before I knew it.

"Dinners ready. Let's go guys." my mom called from the kitchen. I sat down at the table quietly. There was the normal chatter from my mom, dad and Seth. I sat there pushing the food around on my plate. "Leah how was your day?" my mom asked. "Leah?" I shook my head a little coming out of a daze. "Um...what? Oh yeah I don't know." was all I could get out. "Is everything alright? You haven't touched your dinner." my mom leaned over placing her hand on my forehead. I pushed her hand away. "Mom I'm fine. I'm not that hungry. May I be excused?" I looked at her. "Go ahead sweetie." she smiled faintly and looked at my dad. Seth peeked up a little from his plate to survey the scene playing out before him. I slid off my chair and quietly slipped into the safety of my room, and shut the door behind me. Seth quietly excused himself and took over the couch and watched the television.

My parents were in the kitchen talking. "Harry I'm worried about her." my mom said. My dad sighed and looked at her. "Leah and Sam had a fight." my mom stopped in her tracks. "What happened?" my mom was now alarmed. Sam and I had never had a fight before. "Sue all I know is he snapped at her. She said she tried to hug him and he pulled away from her and left her alone. When I found her she was sitting in the sand staring off at the ocean." My mom was angry. "He did what to her?" my dad raised his hands, "Sue calm down. I will talk to him tomorrow." he tried to reassure her. "You better Harry." my mom cleared the table and started in on the dishes. I curled up under the covers. Right now my bed was my only thing that kept me safe.

The next day I tried calling Sam. The phone rang and rang. There was no answer. I sat there waiting for my phone for my phone to ring. We were supposed to be in Seattle today, getting married. I waited and heard nothing. There was a knock on my door. "Leah, may I come in?" my mom's sweet voice asked. "Yeah." was all I could manage. She opened the door quietly and came in and sat down on my bed. "Are you ok sweetie?" she smiled softly. I let out a long sigh. "I can't get a hold of Sam. He won't answer the phone. I am worried about him." I babbled quickly. She pulled me close to her. "Leah, don't worry. He'll call you when he gets a chance or is feeling better. Maybe he's busy or not home." she smiled trying to reassure me. "Your dad told me everything. He was going to stop by and see if he could talk to Sam." She hugged me. "Dinner will be ready soon." she kissed the top of my forehead and left the room. I tried calling again, Allison answered, "Hi Leah. He's not home. I will let him know you called." I sighed, "Thanks." Then I hung up.

That night at dinner I ate quietly. I heard my parents talking. Seth talked about a school project. I just kept replaying the events of the past few weeks like a movie in my head. "Leah. Leah are you done with your plate?" My dad asked holding plates. "Yeah I'm sorry. I was just daydreaming." I faked a smile. I handed him my plate and headed back to my room. I tried calling Sam's house again. Nobody answered the phone. Once again with no luck I hung up. My mom stood at the sink washing the dishes with my dad. "I stopped by the Uley's today. There was no answer. Billy tried calling and there was no answer for him either. My dad said gently rubbing my mom's back. "Well Allison was probably working today." My dad nodded, "That's right." They retreated to the living room, and watched a movie together.

I tried to call again for the next few days. There was no answer. I gave up. Days passed, then weeks without any sight of Sam. I just gave up. If Sam didn't want to talk to me or see me, well then I was gone. Sam didn't want me in his life, and then I wanted to be no part of it. I went down to the beach day after day. Coming here was the one place where I could let all my thoughts leave me. Each day I sat there until the sky grew dark and my dad came and brought me home. What had I done that had been so horrible he wouldn't contact me? I wished he would at least let me know he was ok or alive if that. I thought maybe he just up and left La Push. I asked around and nobody had seen him. It was like he vanished.

While I thought Sam was missing I continued to blame myself. Meanwhile my dad, Billy and Quil's grandfather knew where Sam was. They had been helping him through his phasing process. Sam was worried about me. "Harry is Leah ok? God she must hate me. I never meant to leave her like that." Sam was emotionally exhausted. My dad placed a hand on Sam's shoulder, "Sam nobody is blaming you for anything. Your phasing is not easy." Sam looked up at my dad with such guilt in his eyes. "We'll help you through it." Billy spoke fatherly towards Sam. Over the weeks they explained the legends to Sam. They told him why everything was happening and what to expect. Over the weeks he was finally able to gain control over his new life.

My life went on. Nothing mattered anymore in my life. I was alone and crushed. I was sitting down on the shore and the sky was overcast and gray. It was raining very lightly. I just looked off at the ocean. "Leah you were so stupid." I told myself. "Leah." Someone called out my name. I turned to see Sam sitting there beside me. He appeared out of nowhere. I didn't move. "What do you want?" I asked in a hurt tone. "Leah, I want to, no I need to apologize. I was so abrupt." Sam said as he sat down beside me on the sand. He picked up my hand and held it in his. "Leah please just listen to me. I am truly sorry I didn't call you. How I spoke to you was uncalled for. It wasn't your fault. I just had something going on. I couldn't really talk about it." He told me. "I'm your girlfriend. You snapped at me. Then you left me here on the beach all alone. You didn't call me or anything. What was I supposed to think?" I questioned him with anger in my tone of voice. I closed my eyes trying to hold back the tears. "Why couldn't you talk to me?" I asked. Sam sighed. "Leah I just can't tell you. I'm not allowed to talk about it." He just looked at me. "Why not?" I pushed again with the question. He shook his head. "Leah please just leave it alone. It's for the better." He looked hurt that he couldn't tell me what was really going on. We sat there until it was almost dark and time for us to go home.

Sam walked me back to the house. He leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Leah I love you and I will see you tomorrow." He turned and left and went home. I went straight to my room. "Leah are you having dinner?" My mom yelled to me. "I'm not hungry." I yelled back. I shut my door and changed into my pj's and climbed under the blankets and cried. The rain lightly ticked against my glass. I couldn't seem to fall asleep. I didn't call Sam and, he didn't call me. I was alone with my thoughts and the tears started to stream down my cheeks. I was so angry he was hiding something from me. I was determined to find out what it was. I wasn't sure how I was going to do it but I would find a way.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 ~The Imprint. The Breakup.**

"So tomorrow I will be at the cookout. I can't wait to see you." Sam said. I smiled, "I can't wait to see you either. Listen could we possibly meet up tonight by the beach? I wanted to talk." Sam was quiet for a moment, "Sure when?" I looked at the clock, "Say fifteen minutes?" Sam replied quickly, "Sure see you there. Bye." We hung up. I walked back into the living room. "I will be right back. If they come back before I do, eat without me. I need to talk to Sam." My mom looked at me, "Leah can't it wait?" I shook my head, "I won't be long, I promise." She looked at me, and sighed, "Just be careful." I nodded, hurrying down to the beach.

I walked down to the beach deciding to lie down on the sand and look up at the sky. Tonight the stars were out and they were bright. The sky was clear for once and the air fresh with a chill to it. I listened but I couldn't hear a sound except for the dull roar of the ocean. I wondered if my fairy tale romance was crashing around me. Then I thought about it, maybe Sam didn't' feel the same way anymore. Maybe we were rushing into this. I had so many questions running through my head. Before I could continue letting my thoughts run wild, he was laying in the sand beside me. "Hi there are you alright?"he asked. I looked at him. "Yeah I'm just thinking. I spoke softly. He rolled onto his side and looked at me, "I'm sorry ok. I can't say it enough. I just can't tell you everything. I know that pisses you off. Leah if I could tell you, I would, and you know it." I shrugged, "If you didn't want to get married, that's fine, and you should have told me. I'm sorry about what happened alright. Look everything turned out fine I guess. You're free now. Now there's nothing to hold, or tie you down." I got to my feet and started walking along the beach. He quickly got to his feet, and caught me by my arm, "Will you please stop. Listen to me, I want to marry you. I want to be with you. I want to have children with you. I want to grow old with you. Trust me please." He pushed my hair behind my ears, "Lee-lee?" I just looked at him. "Sam I don't know what to say. I told you when I found out, then you just disappear. What was I supposed to think?" He rested his forehead against mine. "Leah I will always love you. I will always be there for you. You're my world Leah." I just looked at him. He leaned down placing a soft kiss on my lips, "I will let you go for tonight. I will see you tomorrow at the cook out. Sleep well." He left me standing on the beach. I still didn't have the answers I was so desperately seeking.

I eventually made my way home, and I decided to take a hot shower and then head to bed. I stood in the shower for what seemed to be forever. The water felt so good. It was so warm. It reminded me of Sam's touch. That was something I noticed. Sam's skin was much warmer now then it had been in the past. That's when I started to cry. There was a knocking on the door. "Hey Leah are you alright?" My mom called out. I finished up, and opened the door. "Come on. Let's get you dried off, and dressed. We went into my room, and I grabbed my favorite pj's. "I'll give you some privacy. She left, shutting the door behind her. I got dressed, and crawled into bed. Emily knocked, and then came back in. She sat on the edge of the bed gently stroking my hair. I laid there for a while until I finally drifted off to sleep. My dreams were about Sam. In my dreams he kept walking away from me. I would try to get close enough to touch him and he would just fade away. I tossed and turned all night.

The next day when I woke, all I knew it was Saturday. I rolled over to read my clock. 8:48a.m. "Leah pick up the phone." My mom yelled to me. I rubbed my eyes and answered it. "Hello." This chipper voice of a female was on the other end. "Hey you can't sleep all day. I'm on my way to your house. Get your butt out of bed and dressed. We are having a girl's day, before the cookout. Plus I'm spending the night since the cookout it tomorrow night." Emily giggled. I loved my cousin. Emily was like my sister. She always seemed to be able to cheer me up. Today I didn't feel it. I was just too emotionally exhausted. "Em' I'm not really up for it. I've got a lot of homework to do." She growled playfully, "You're such a bad liar. What's the real excuse? Were you out drinking last night?" I sighed, "No actually. My parents would kill me anyways if I did. Sam has still been off, since he's come back. I wish I knew what was going on. He won't tell me anything." She was a bit taken back, "I'm sorry sis. Well let's go out. It's been like forever since we've gone shopping. Don't make me beg." I rolled my eyes stretching, "Ok. I will hop in the shower. I will see you when you get here." I hung up the phone and grabbed my towels and headed for the bathroom. I turned on the water and waited for it to heat up. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I was so tired; I had dark circles under my eyes. I sighed again, and climbed in. I wanted to just stay in the shower forever but I knew eventually the hot water would run out. I finished up and dried off and headed back to my room.

The phone rang as I was getting dressed and I quickly answered. "Hello?" I waited to see who it was on the other end. "Hello my love." Sam's voice was on the other end. "Hey what's up?" I replied. I could hear chuckle from his end. "I was wondering if you might want to hang out today." How was he so easy going? He acted like nothing had happened in the past few weeks. I was left without knowing his where he was. We were supposed to elope, and he was gone. I still loved him no matter what. Hearing his voice still affected my heart. I was kicking myself. "I would love to but my cousin is coming to visit, and the cookout." I told him. "Oh ok. Well have fun. Call me when you get in. Maybe tomorrow we can hang out?" He asked. Then I thought about it. "Well I'm free after Emily heads home tomorrow. I smiled, and waited for his response. "Ok. I've met her before, but sounds like a plan. I will see you tomorrow then." He hesitated, "I love you Lee-Lee." Then he hung up. I hung up the phone on my end, and went to take my shower.

Once I was showered, I popped into the kitchen and threw some waffles in the toaster. "Good morning. Where are you off too?" My mom asked sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. "Emily is coming down for the cookout, and she thought a girl's day, would be good for us." She looked up at me. "That sounds like fun. Do you have any idea where you're going?" My mom was curious. "I'm not sure. We've not decided yet." I answered grabbing my waffles out of the toaster and started munching on them. "Slow down Leah or you're going to choke." My mom was serious. "Sorry I'm hungry." I apologized to her. "Where are Seth, and dad?" I looked around." I was curious. "Your father left early with Charlie this morning. Seth went out with friends." She smiled. "Ah so you get the house to yourself. You're so lucky." I smirked. "Oh yes Leah. I'm so lucky to do the laundry, and clean. Then when your father gets home, cook dinner." I laughed, "I will help when I get home." She smiled, "Your father will help don't worry." I heard a car pull into the driveway. I ran outside barely getting the front door open. "Emily!" I ran up to her car. She climbed out and gave me a huge hug. "Hi stranger, it seems like it's been forever." She smiled hugging me back. "So Sam is coming to the cookout." Emily smiled, "Well I'm glad. So are you ready to go?" I nodded, and ran inside quickly, "Mom we're going to take off now." I yelled grabbing my sweatshirt. "Hi Emily, how are you?" Emily smiled and called back from the doorway, "I'm good Aunt Sue." My mom smiled, "Glad to hear it. Be safe girls and have fun." My mom called out from the kitchen. "We always are mom. Bye." We left my house and hopped in her car. "So how long have you been with Sam?" Emily was curious, "Three years. We were going to elope before he disappeared." Emily turned in the driver seat to look at me, "You are just telling me this now?" I nodded sheepishly. "With everything happening, and him disappearing it really didn't seem like the time to mention it. I thought maybe he ran away, to avoid it. Emily sighed, "Put your seatbelt on, and let's go. We can chat more on the way."

While we drove up to Port Angeles, I looked out the window keeping quiet. There was so much going on in my head, Emily knew it. "Care to talk? I'm a great listener." I looked at her and shrugged, "Just not sure what's going on with him." Emily nodded, "Well that's understandable. It's hard to see someone you love, become someone you don't know. I know you both were extremely close." I sighed, and felt a tear slide down my cheek. "Oh don't cry please. I'm sorry." I shook my head, "It's nothing Emily. I rather not talk about it." She looked at me, "You've never kept a secret from me before. I won't push it if you honestly don't want me knowing. I respect you, and your wishes." I smiled a little, "Thanks. When the time is right, I'll tell you." She smiled.

We arrived in Port Angeles in the early afternoon. We had a few hours to grab a bite to eat, and shop. We parked and started walking. Emily was eager to check out the crafts store. I was eager to check out the book store. "Alright should we split up, or stick together?" Emily asked. I shrugged, "It's your choice." Emily chuckled, "Go ahead to the book shop, and I will meet up with you." I nodded, "Alright then." We went our separate ways. I walked inside and looked around, trying to find something new to read. I grabbed a copy of The Bell Jar. I had a copy at home, but it was starting to become worn. I loved reading the book. I paid for it, and grabbed my bag off the counter. I wasn't paying attention when I stepped out of the store and bumped into a guy. "Whoa." I looked up beyond embarrassed." These two guys were standing there smirking, "No problem." The one I bumped into spoke. I was caught off guard. They weren't bad looking. One had black hair that was on the short side, russet skin, brown eyes, and a nice smile. He was a few inches taller than me. His friend was cute. He had blue eyes, shoulder length hair that was hidden by a hat, and a scruffy beard. It looked like he was trying to grow it out. They both chuckled, "Well have a good." They started walking in the opposite direction of me. I turned around, just as the blue eyed guy did. His friend yelled out, "Hunter let's go I'm hungry man." Hunter smiled once more at me, before turning back around, "Ok Travis gees. I'm just looking at a cute girl." I blushed and walked into Emily. "Distracted I see." I shook my head, "Uh sort of, what no." She laughed, "Oh yeah, distracted I will say." I shook my head, "I have a boyfriend back home." Emily quickly piped up, "There's nothing wrong with looking. I can see why you were looking." I sighed, "I walked into the one with short hair" Emily laughed, "Admiring I see." I rolled my eyes, "Anywhere else you'd like to go?" She smiled, "Yes a few more shops." We walked around downtown, and Emily bought a few more things.

We got back to my house about 4:30 pm. I climbed out grabbing my bag, and walked inside with Emily. "Finally you're home. I was beginning to wonder." My mom smiled. "Leah was too busy bumping into some cute guys." Emily smirked, nudging me with her elbow. My mom raised an eyebrow, "Oh really." I shook my head, "It's not like that I swear. I bumped into a guy. I wasn't paying attention." Emily quickly interjected, "Oh she was busy staring at him, actually his friend. I must say they were both cute." My mom laughed, "Well Seth, and your dad should be here soon with the drinks." I nodded, "Alright." The phone rang, and I quickly grabbed it, answering it. "Hi Lee lee. Glad to know you made it home safely." I smiled, "So are you coming to the cookout?" Sam smiled, "Of course. I will be there soon. I love you." I smiled, "I love you too." I hung up.

Everyone was outside chatting, and enjoying one another's company. My dad was barbequing, and enjoying himself. I waited at the front door until Sam arrived. "Hi there, I need to apologize." I smiled bashfully. "I'm sorry about last night. I totally over reacted." He pulled me into his arms, and hugged me, "Don't worry about it. I'm here to have a good time, with a special girl who means the world to me." I smiled taking his hand, and led him into the yard. My mom looked over, smiling and waved. Sam waved back at her. I squeezed his hand, and he smiled at me. He was looking around when all of the sudden he stopped staring at Emily. He let my hand fall, and started to walk towards her. Without any warning he turned and left. Emily, and my mom both looked at me, and I just shrugged. The evening continued on inside the house once it became cooler. Sam returned a few hours later. It was about seven o'clock. My mom answered the door, "Hi Sam, come on in. You know you don't have to knock." He didn't move, "Can you have Leah come out. I need to talk to her." My mom was a bit thrown off by this, but did as she was asked. I was hanging out in the kitchen with Emily, when my mom walked in, "Sam would like to see you outside Leah." I looked at Emily, who just shrugged.

"Hi? Why didn't you come inside?" Sam sighed, "Listen we need to talk. I'm not going to dance around the subject. I'm going to be direct with you. We can't be together anymore. I'm breaking up with you." I looked at him, my mouth ajar, "You're what? You're kidding me right?" He stood there crying. "Listen if this has to do with your secret, and whatever happened a few weeks ago," He shook his head, "No Leah please." My voice started to quiver as I spoke, "We can work things out. I'm not going to give up on you, or us. We had plans." Sam sighed, "Leah that's all they are now, just plans we had. There's no more us. I'm so sorry. I wish I could explain why. You need to stop caring about me. Move on with your life. Find someone who'll be good to you. Who'll take care of you. Leah you have a great future ahead of you. Just forget me. I loved you Leah, but not anymore. I'm so sorry to do this. I feel like such a jerk." I stood there with my jaw clenched now, "You're sorry. You were holding my hand earlier. Things were good. Now you're breaking up with me. We've been together three years, and this is it. Just out of thin air, you're dumping me." Sam was still crying, "Leah, I wish it were different. Please accept my apology." I was furious, hurt, and felt sick to my stomach. "Get the hell away from me. Get away from my family, and my house. So help me Sam, I could punch you." He moved closer to me to hug me. I brought my hand up so fast; he didn't have enough time to react. A loud crack echoed through the night air. He stood there rubbing his cheek, "I hate you." I went inside slamming the door behind me, cradling my stinging palm. "Leah?" My mom called out as I stormed past everyone going to my room.

Emily and my mom both quickly hurried to my room. "What happened?" I stood there, looking around the room. It was like I was blind. The room was spinning. "Leah breath, you're hyperventilating." My mom held my shoulders, "Emily go get a cold wash cloth, and a glass of ice water please." My mom stared at me, "Come on Leah. Slow deep breaths. In through your nose, and out through your mouth." I just heard her say, "LEAH!" I heard my mom's voice, "She'll come around soon enough. It's only been a few minutes." I blinked a few times trying to figure out what had happened, "Hi there. Don't move ok. Slow breaths." My mom was holding my head in her lap. "Calmly explain what happened please." I looked at her, "He broke up with me. No explanation why. He said I need to move on with my life. He wished me the best of luck in my future. I slapped him across the face, and then came here." My mom held me gently stroking my cheek, "Leah I'm so sorry." She took the wash cloth off my forehead, and handed it to Emily.

Morning came, and went. So did the afternoon. "She's not come out at all. I don't know what to say. I don't want her upset." Emily said to my mom. "I know what you mean sweetie. It's hard with her. If Leah doesn't want to talk, she won't talk." The afternoon passed, and it was getting towards around dinner time. I walked outside, shutting the door behind me. I walked through the trees into the woods. It started to rain, and I continued to walk. My clothes were becoming soaked. I didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered. I was alone. The man I loved had just dumped me. Nothing could get any worse now, or could it?


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 ~ The End of something good.**

Emily had to head home. It was becoming late on Sunday evening. "Listen, you call me if you need to talk alright. I have class tomorrow morning. I will be home in the afternoon. I will try and come back down next weekend. I'm so sorry this happened." I sighed and felt a tear slide down my cheek. She pulled me into a hug, resting her chin on my shoulder. "Emily I don't know what I did wrong." She pulled back and looked at me, "Nothing. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Sam really threw away something great." I nodded, "Have a safe trip home. I will talk to you later." She smiled faintly and got in her car, and left. I sat down outside in one of the plastic lawn chairs we had. My mom came out and wrapped a blanket around me. "How are you holding up? I know it's a stupid question?" I shrugged, "I don't understand what caused this sudden change. I know he still cares, but something's drastically different between us, and I'm not sure what it is." My mom rested her chin on top of my head, "That's love for you in a nutshell sweetie. Why don't you try and get some sleep. You have school in the morning." I nodded, "Alright. Sweet dreams." She smiled, and left me to be alone.

The school day passed, and I was just quiet. My friends, Amanda, and Juliette sat there trying to get me to talk. "I've never seen her so quiet in my life. It's kind of scary actually." Amanda said. "I have to agree with you. Hey Leah want to go grab a bite to eat after school?" Juliette asked. I quietly got up from the table, and left. "I've never seen her like this before. Maybe we should tell her mom." Amanda suggested. "Well they just broke up over the weekend. It's only Monday after all." Juliette said watching me leave. "Let's give her a few weeks." Amanda said. Juliette nodded agreeing.

I walked home, and dropped by backpack by my desk. Nobody was home this afternoon. I left school early. I was only missing a study period so it wouldn't truly matter. If anyone asked, I would say I was sick. That they would buy, because I was never sick. So it wouldn't look suspicious. I pulled out my homework, and quietly worked on it. Darren came home, and flipped on the television in the living room. I just heard the dull sound of the voices coming from it. The phone rang, and he answered it. He spoke for a few minutes then hung up. "Leah, mom wants you to turn the oven on to 375 at 5: oo pm then put the lasagna in at 5:15pm. She said she'll be home to take it out. Got it?" I didn't hear him at first. It took me a few minutes to put together what he'd said, "Yeah three whatever. Got it." I went back to my homework.

I just finished my homework when I saw the clock was reading 5:00pm. "Perfect timing." I put away my books, and started the oven. I set the table so I wouldn't have to do it later. I emptied the dishwasher waiting for the oven to heat up. I leaned against the counter waiting patiently. I looked over at the table and started to daydream. I would remember when Sam and I would sit there and do homework together. I remembered when we played cards together. The nights he came over for dinner. All the memories came flooding back. This choked sob escaped from my lips. I looked at the clock it read 5:13pm. I thought close enough. I put the lasagna in and went back to my room. I pulled out the picture of Sam and I. The last photo we took together. We were laughing, his arm was around me. We were happy. I sighed and shoved it away in my nightstand drawer. I hadn't the heart to throw it away yet.

The weeks had passed, and neither Emily, nor Sam had been around much. I couldn't complain. I just didn't have the energy to spend with Emily, or anyone. Not seeing Sam eased the pain of my reality. It was just easier to pretend he faded away. The reality of it was he had faded away. He wasn't in school any longer. Allison had picked up his school work, and would drop off what he'd completed. The weeks were passing, and life seemed to have no function for me. I would get up, shower, have something small for breakfast, then go to school. There I would just listen to the mundane lectures the teacher s gave. My grades never faltered. I continued with A's, and B's. I would return home, and dive into my homework, and pick at dinner, then go to bed. Within three weeks time, I'd lost about fifteen pounds. My mom and dad had become quite alarmed.

"Harry what do we do? She's lost so much weight. She's so quiet. She doesn't go out with her friends." My dad shrugged, "Sue I don't know. It's not like she's doing this on purpose. She's damaged." My mom's jaw dropped, "HARRY CLEARWATER!" My dad shrugged once more, "Sue its true and we both know it. This break up has really hurt her. She's not our daughter anymore. I've never seen her so lost. It's like a shell of her in front of us. It's hard to watch. I keep praying every day; she'll come back to us, when the time is right." My mom just sighed, and got up and left the table. My dad sat there not sure what to say anymore.

It had been 6 weeks since Sam and I broke up. I had my friends trying to cheer me up still. I just couldn't grasp anything. It was like I had been a horrible accident, and was learning how to walk again. I know that sounds horrible, but that's what life was like. When something ends abruptly; you don't know how to move forward. You're unsure of where to start again. I came in the door after school one day. There was a letter addressed to me sitting on the coffee table. I picked it up and went to my room. I dropped my bag beside my desk, and sat down on my bed. I ripped open the envelope and read the note.

I shouldn't go about telling you in this manner, but you should know. I'm aware you and Sam broke up several weeks back. I'm sorry you've been hurt. I feel as though someone should be honest with you. Emily, your cousin, and Sam have been spending A LOT of time together. It's been for these past few weeks, I've noticed them along with others. I don't find it fare that you are left in the dark. I'm sorry you had to find out this way. Now you know. I hope you do find happiness one day.

Observer

I looked at the note, over and over. The handwriting was unfamiliar to me. I sat there in disbelief. I went through the reel of memories up until we broke up. I remembered at the cookout. Sam dropped my hand and started to walk over to Emily. He then caught himself and quickly left. The anger started to build quickly. He'd left me for Emily. My cousin pretended to feel bad for me, and she had taken him from me. I reached into the night stand drawer and yanked out the picture and tore it up. I felt so sick to my stomach. The vial crept up into the back of my throat. I ran for the bathroom, just making it. I was kneeling on the floor, with my head in the toilet vomiting. My mom just came home from work and heard the commotion, and came running in. "Leah are you ok?" She squatted beside me rubbing her back. She'd just come home from work. I continued to vomit until there was nothing left in my stomach. Tears streamed down my cheeks. I held my sides which throbbed from the vigorous tormenting of my muscles.

I slowly sat back on my legs. My mom stepped over me grabbing a wash cloth, and ran it under the cold water. She once again squatted beside me, wiping the sweat, and tears off of my face. "Let's get you out of these clothes and into some pajamas." She closed the toilet, and flushed it, then helped me to my feet. She kept an arm around my waist, and helped me back to my room. I must have been in a daze, because she helped me undress, and get into my pajamas. "Lay down Leah. I will check on you in a little bit. Get some sleep." I looked up at her, "I received that in the mail today. Read it." My mom picked up the note and read it. "Oh Leah I'm so sorry. I don't understand why he'd do that. You and Emily are like sisters." I looked at her and croaked out, "Were." She sighed, "Get some sleep. I will check on you in a bit." I rolled over turning my back to the door. She left quietly leaving the door open a crack.

Seth and my dad had come home from dinner. "Guys keep it down please. Leah's asleep. She's had a rough afternoon." Seth headed to his room, and started on his homework. My dad sat down beside my mom, "What happened?" My mom set down her book, and handed my dad the note. He quietly read it, and looked up at her once he had finished, "Please tell me this is a joke." She shook her head, "I called Emily's mother. She said it's completely true. I came home to find Leah throwing up. She's just a walking shell of tension, and pain. I'm going to let her stay home from school tomorrow. She needs the rest. I'm off anyways. I will take care of her. She doesn't need this. I'm just am shocked about Emily, and Sam. I understand." My dad reached over, taking my mom's hand in his, "Sue we'll get her through this. It will take time, but she will heal." My mom looked at my dad, "I hope you're right Harry. I can't lose her." My dad squeezed her hand, "We won't."

I spent the day sleeping, on and off. My mom came in with soup, ginger ale, and juice. "I need you to eat something sweetie. I'm not trying to be over bearing, or over protective." I looked up at her, "I know you're not. I'm just not very hungry anymore." My mom sighed, "Leah you've lost a lot of weight, and it's not healthy. Just have the soup at least." I looked at her, "Leah I'm not leaving until you eat something. It's your choice. I have all day." I gave up and finally ate the bowl of soup, and then laid back down. "Thank you. Now get some rest. If you need anything at all, just call for me." She kisses me on the forehead and left me alone again. I drifted back off to sleep.

Saturday had rolled around, and I was lying in bed reading quietly. I'd gotten out of bed, and showered and dressed. I had no plans. The next thing I knew there was a frantic knock on the door. My mom rushed out of the house, and was gone until late evening. Seth had gone off with his friends Colin, and Brady. My dad was off fishing with Charlie for the day. When she finally got home, she looked like someone had fought with her. She looked exhausted. "Leah we need to talk." She sat down on my bed. I sat up and looked at her. "Listen, and listen with an open heart, and a clear mind, as clear as possible please." I was almost afraid to hear what she had to say. "Emily was attacked by a bear. She was in the woods near her house, and a bear mauled her. She's in the hospital, and alive. She's pretty bad though. She'll never look the same. It ripped open the side of her face. She's scarred for life." I just sat there not having anything to say. "Leah?" my mom looked at me. "What do you want me to say? I'm sorry she got hurt, but I don't care there's no sympathy for her for what she did to me. I absolutely detest Sam, and her. I hope she'll feel the pain, I've felt. I would never hurt her, the way she's hurt me." My mom looked at me and sat for a moment before speaking to me, "I understand what you're saying. She couldn't even tell me herself what was going on. I receive a note in the mail, and find out that way. Do you know how betrayed I feel. No you don't, because nobody would be so cruel to you. So I have nothing else to say. If you send a get well card, sign my name. I want nothing to do with her. Now if that's all, I have things to do. "I got up and left my room, and walked out the front door shutting it behind me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 ~ The betrayal **

Weeks passed and I had no ambition to do anything. I felt so empty and alone. I would get up and shower, get dressed, go to school, come home, do my homework, and stay in my room. The phone rang and my mom answered it. "Hello?" Emily would ask for me. "Hi Emily," She listened quietly as Emily spoke. "No she hasn't really come out of her room. She has her routine. She leaves for school, to use the bathroom, and sometimes for dinner." My mom told her. My mom was quiet again, "No she's not really been eating much. She's lost a significant amount of weight. Harry and I are watching her closely." My mom did several; "mmhmm's" Then she spoke "I can see if she'll talk to you." My mom knocked on my door. "Leah, your cousin is on the phone and she would like to talk to you." I didn't respond. I leaned over, and unplugged my phone from the wall. I knew she was calling to tell me about her and Sam. I didn't want to hear her pathetic, guilt fueled apology. It was nothing to me. It was like putting a band aid on a wound that clearly needed stitches. I don't know if she was hoping to save a little of our relationship, but no way in hell would that happen. "Emily she isn't answering me." I heard my mom walk back out to the living room where Charlie and my dad were. "Leah still won't come out of her room?" Charlie asked. My dad shook his head. "No, and she's not talking to anyone either. She just shrugs or nods. It's weird." Charlie was left without words. "I never thought Leah would be like this. It's so hard to watch her. She's lost weight, Sue's really worried, and so am I. What do we do? Force her to eat. Force her into therapy. This is something we're really not sure how to approach. Sue's tried. I don't want to upset her." Charlie nodded, "Ever since I've known her, she's always been a happy person. Harry I'm really sorry." My dad smiled faintly, "Thanks Charlie."

It was Christmas time. Emily had moved down from Neah Bay, to be closer to Sam. He had moved in with her. Emily continued to try and mend our relationship. She'd come over often, and visit with my mom. I made sure my door was locked, or I would sneak out of the house through my window. Amanda, and Juliette tried to understand why I was so heartbroken, but it was hard from an onlookers view. "So any plans for winter vacation Leah?" Juliette asked. I looked up from my book, "Huh; plans? No. Probably will do any homework I have. Maybe do some reading. Not much else to do." She smiled, "Well maybe your mom will let you, come along with me to Seattle for a day." I shrugged, "Maybe. I'll ask her." She smiled, "Oh I hope she says yes." I faked an enthusiastic smile, "Oh me too." Honestly I didn't have any interest in Seattle. I let the weekend pass, and returned to school on Monday. Juliette was at my locker, "So what'd she say?" She was too excited. "She said no. She would have let me go, if she could trust me to eat, but I'm under strict supervision now." She pretended to pout, "Well that stinks. Well I'm sorry. I promise I will bring you back something. Maybe we can hang out during vacation." I pulled out that fake smile once more, "Alright yeah definitely. I will see you later." I shut my locker and decided that, school wasn't for me today. I went down to the nurse, and faked an illness. My dad came down and picked me up, and brought me home.

9 months had passed. In those 9 months, Sam had finished school, and graduated. Emily decided to do schooling down here at a satellite campus. Sam was working part time, doing odd jobs. I was in my senior year of high school. I mulled through the first couple months. Amanda and Juliette had slowly backed off on our friendship. It hurt them too much, to see me like this. I just didn't want to be around anyone anymore. School was my focus. If I did well, I could graduate with a scholarship, and get the hell out of here. There was nothing here for me anymore. I thought maybe moving to the East Coast might be a good solution to my problem. I could come back and visit when I wanted, but I wouldn't be subjected to Sam, and Emily. Of course I'd miss my family, but I would have a new life. A fresh start I so desperately needed.

It was a Sunday evening; the sun was starting to set. Charlie was over, watching a game with my dad on our television. My mom had just finished her shift at work. I didn't want to face my father, or Charlie; so I carefully and quietly opened my bedroom window and slipped out. Luckily our house was only one story so there was no chance of me getting hurt from a fall. I slipped away to the beach. Nobody would realize I was gone. My door was locked to my room and I didn't make any noise. I arrived at the beach and was greeted by something I wasn't expecting. What a shock I was in for. I chose this spot knowing nobody was going to come looking for me. I'd avoided the beach for the longest time. It brought back to much pain. Back at the house; they all still thought I was in my room. I sat at my usual spot for a while. I decided to go and take off for the beach.

Once I was down there, in the distance, I saw Sam sitting with Emily. I kept my distance and stayed back watching. He carefully pushed her hair out of her face and slowly leaned over and kissed her. That was the way he had kissed me. He was kissing my cousin, my sister, Emily. She kissed him back with such passion. I was crushed all over again. Then this rage ran through my body and I was furious. I lost my temper. I stormed over to where they were sitting. "What the hell is going on?" I roared. "Leah calm down." Sam said quickly standing up. "Calm down. I come down here for the first time in forever. I find you and her down here. You have no right to be here." Sam looked at me, "Leah it's a public beach. I'm sorry I didn't know you were coming down." I growled at him. For the first time since Emily's accident I looked at her, and saw the scar. She looked at me smiling softly like she used to. Now though, where the scar was, her bottom lip had a permanent pull downward. She was still pretty, but she wasn't the same. Something caught my eye on her left hand. I looked at her, making direct eye contact. "You're engaged!" She nodded sheepishly. "I tried to call and tell you. I wanted you to be in the wedding. I was hoping you'd be my maid of honor." I scoffed at her, "That's a fat chance in hell." Sam looked at me speaking sternly, "You could accept the offer, and decline a little kinder you know." I looked at him, "And the two of you could have been a little more discrete about your relationship. Someone sent me a note in the mail, informing me about the both of you. So I have every damn right to be a bitter bitch. Have fun at your wedding, I sure as hell won't be there." I turned and left them on the beach, and slipped back into my room through the window.

I looked around my room and found the picture of Sam and me sitting on my desk. There was also a picture of Emily and me hanging on my wall. I threw the picture of Sam and me across my room and watched the glass shatter and the frame break. "Sam Uley I hate your guts." I then proceeded to tear up the picture of Emily and me. I rummaged through my closet grabbing a bag and throwing my clothing in it. Seth heard all the banging and quickly found my dad. "Dad, Leah is in her room and all I know is I heard glass break and she is angry. She is in there saying she hates Sam." My dad and Charlie became alarmed." Charlie, watch the front door please. Don't let her leave." Charlie nodded. My dad quickly made his way to my door and knocked. "Leah what's going on? May I come in?" He tried the door handle. "No stay out." I barked. "Leah, unlock the door please and let's talk about this calmly." I snapped back. "There is nothing to talk about. I am leaving, and Sam and Emily can drop dead for all I care. I want nothing to do with this place." I grabbed the bag off my bed unlocking the door and swung it open. My dad was standing there. "Where are you going?" My dad asked spotting the bag in my hand. "I'm leaving this reservation and this stupid state and starting a new life." I tried to push past him. He grabbed the bag. "Leah you're not going anywhere. Come and talk to me. Tell me what's going on." I tried to pull away. I got out to the living room and Charlie was standing in front of the door. "Excuse me Charlie." I tried to get around him. "Leah I am not letting you leave sorry." I turned around ready to find another way to leave. My mom stood in the doorway to the kitchen just getting home, "Sit down and calm down." She spoke sternly but softly. She walked over and guided me to the couch.

My dad came out to the living room and sat down beside me on the couch. "Relax. Now what's going on? You're angry about something." I took a deep breath. "Sam and Emily were kissing on the beach. He dumped me for her. I hate them both. Did you know they're engaged? What did I do wrong?" I started to cry. My dad pulled me into a hug. "Hun I don't think he meant to hurt you. Things just happen sometimes and we can't explain it." My dad said in a soft tone. I mumbled, "We had a plan." Little did I know my dad, and the other council members told Sam that he had imprinted on Emily. He explained to them how he was feeling. They knew what was going on with him. He wasn't allowed to tell anyone. Some time had passed and Charlie and my dad headed out to the kitchen and sat at the table talking. My mom had gone to do some grocery shopping. I sat there not paying any attention. Later in the afternoon my mom had returned. Once the groceries were put away, she came out to me. "Come on, let's talk." She took my hand, walking with me into my room.

Once in my room I sat on my bed, and pulled my knees up to my chest. My mom shut the door, and sat down beside me. "I don't have any magical words, or wisdom to make this less painful for you. I want to take away the pain. Frankly I don't have anything to provide relief. I'm truly sorry. I know how much you love, or I should say, loved Sam. Things happen beyond our control, and understanding." She looked into my eyes. I knew she could see the pain they showed. "We were together for over three years. We had talked about getting married." I let out a loud sigh feeling tears stream down my cheeks. "Oh sweetie," My mom pulled me close and wrapped her arms around me. "Don't tell daddy. We were going to elope a while back. That's when he disappeared. I thought maybe he got cold feet. I should have known something was going on." My mom rested her chin on top of my head, "I'm glad you told me about your plan to elope. I'm glad you didn't. You're much too young, and you have your whole life ahead of you. I won't tell your dad. Please promise me, don't make rash decisions." I nodded, "I just want to graduate high school. I plan on going to college. That's it. I don't need a man in my life." She smiled, "I'm glad your goal oriented." I nodded, "Please keep Emily away. I don't want to see, or speak to her." My mom sighed, "I will see what I can do." I shifted, and laid down. My mom left allowing me some alone time.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 ~ Our new lives

A month passed and I didn't speak to my cousin or Sam anymore. School was hard for me. I would just walk through the halls like a zombie. A girl made a remark about my breakup with Sam, and I snapped at her. There was a huge fight in the middle of class, and I was kicked out. My mom came down, and had to speak with the principal. "I don't know what possessed you to argue with her. You let her get under your skin. Leah you're always so easy going. I'm willing to listen if you want to talk." I just looked out the window as we drove home. My mom sighed, and pulled into the driveway. My Charlie and my dad were outside chatting, "Hi Leah." Charlie said smiling. "Whatever." I walked right passed him, slamming the front door. "Geez Leah, you going to break the house?" I scowled at Seth, "Why don't you shut up, and leave me alone. All of you leave me alone." I went into my room, slamming the door shut locking it. My mom got out of the car, and walked over to where the guys were standing, "Charlie I'm sorry." My dad apologized. "What happened?" My mom asked slipping her purse strap over her shoulder. "I said hi to her. She wasn't friendly. It's ok." He shrugged not being phased by it. "Charlie it's not ok. She said whatever to him when he said hi." My mom pursed her lips, "Well I just had to pick her up from the principal's office. She was kicked out of class, for having an argument with a classmate." Seth walked outside zipping up his jacket. "Where are you going?" My dad asked. "I'm going to Colin's house for a little bit. Leah just bit my head off, and told me to shut up." Everyone looked at Seth. "I'm sick and tired of this Harry. This is inexcusable." My mom was furious with me now. "I know she's eighteen, but she lives under our roof, and I say we ground her." My mom nodded agreeing with my dad.

After Charlie went home, my parents called me out to the living room. I walked out to find them sitting on the couch. "Sit down now. We're not asking you, we're telling you too." My dad spoke with a stern voice. This was out of character for him. I knew I was in trouble at this point. "What is going on with you? I heard you were kicked out of class. Your mother received a phone call from the principal. You were extremely rude to Charlie, and you told Seth to shut up." I looked at him, "I've had a really bad day, and I don't feel like talking." My dad turned red in the face, "Nobody asked you to speak. It seems as though when you do, nothing productive comes out of your mouth. So your mother and I have talked. We don't care how old you are, you're under our roof, our rules. You're grounded until further notice." I shrugged, and let out a smug laugh, "That's going to do a whole lot of good. I don't have anywhere to go. I have nobody to see. I have nobody to talk to. I don't care if you take away the phone, or tv. So what's your punishment exactly?" My mom was irate, "GO TO YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW! I don't want you eating dinner with us. You can eat in your room. I'm so disgusted with your behavior." I just looked at them, then got up and went back to my room. "What do we do now?" My mom asked. My dad just shook his head. Truth was there was nothing they could do.

Word got around that Sam, and Emily were officially engaged now. They were working on a date. They were so in love. Everyone else was happy for them including Seth. Sam would come up behind Emily and wrap his arms around her waist. "Hello beautiful. Do you have a man?" He would smirk. Emily would smile and place her small hands on Sam's arms. She would make sure he would not let go. "Why yes I do sir. Honestly I don't think he would appreciate another man flirting with me." She laughed and Sam couldn't resist laughing. "I love you Emily." He would carefully place a delicate kiss on her soft lips. She blushed under her russet skin and returned the kiss.

As time passed I moved on with my life. Charlie's daughter Bella had come to live with him. I think he was hopeful she and I could be friends. I wasn't in any shape to be a friend, nor did I want any. Emily and Sam would come and visit. My mom was happy to see them again. They couldn't help being in love. I could help myself by staying hidden away. I still didn't forgive them. I had no idea about imprinting and the Quilete tribe members being shape shifters. I still tried to understand why our relationship had ended. I kept winding up empty handed. I couldn't understand what had happened. We were perfect together. He abruptly stopped calling and cut all communication for several weeks to me. Then all of the sudden acted like nothing happened. At the cookout dropped my hand, and started for Emily. It was such strange behavior. I just wondered what happened. I had to realize I was never going to find out. I needed to stop blaming myself. It's easier to say that then it is to believe it.

The months and life continued without me paying attention. I was on auto pilot. School was going great, in the aspect of, I had A's, and some B's. After graduation, my plan was to work for a year, and then attend college the year after. I just wanted to save some money, and get out on my own. While I planned all this, a fire started to burn inside of me. I was outraged still. I used to take off, and get lost in the woods for hours. I would eventually end up back on the beach. My dad would come and get me and bring me back home for dinner. I didn't care about eating I had no appetite. I only wanted to sleep. Sleeping let me escape the reality he was gone forever. Now if I could only sleep forever then I wouldn't have to feel again.

My life was starting to get a little better. I wasn't letting things get me down any more. I was having fun doing stuff with my family again. Amanda, Juliette, and I were hanging out again. I was interacting like a human being again. Seth and I were back to picking on each other. It was fun. One afternoon, I had finished eating my lunch. "Hey mom I'm going to head out for walk. I should be back in an hour or so." I yelled out to her from my room. "Ok Leah. I need you back no later than 3:00pm. You're going to have to go shopping with your dad." She yelled out from the kitchen. "Ok." I yelled back as I headed out the door.

I got to the beach and took in the air. It was so refreshing to feel alive again. I was content until he showed up. "Hello Leah." I recognized that voice. It was Sam's. I turned around to see him standing there. "Do you sneak up on people or something? What do you want?" I was annoyed instantaneously. I never heard him come up behind me. "I was just wondering how you were doing?" He asked. "I was doing great until I saw you." I snarled. "What's your issue Leah? I was just trying to be friendly but your being a total..." He stopped himself. I was livid."How dare you? You have no right to ask me how I'm doing or my family. I am not being a total anything. You're a jerk." I could feel my blood pumping through my veins. My jaw became tight. "I'm the jerk. Who punched me in the face? Who didn't let me explain myself because she's a know it all." Sam snapped at me. "Excuse me. I punched you because you deserved it. You dumped me for my god damn cousin. I would do it again if you gave me the chance. I get a letter in the mail about you, and her. Now you're both engaged. What'd you knock her up?" I yelled at him. His eyes widened and I could see him getting angry. "I am so glad I'm engaged to Emily and not you. You're crazy." He yelled at me. I lost my temper and slapped him across the face."WHAT THE HELL LEAH?" He grabbed my arm. "You deserved it. Emily got what she deserved from the bear. I'd love to meet him." I yanked my arm away and stormed off.

I was able to compose myself as I walked back to the house and met up with my dad who just pulled up. "Hey dad," I ran up and gave him a huge hug. "Um...Hi," He smiled. "Mom said we need to go do some grocery shopping so she's sending you and me." I smiled wide. "Ok. Let me find out what she wants us to get and we'll be on our way." My dad headed inside and I hopped in his truck. While I sat there waiting I thought about the confrontation I'd just had with Sam. "Alright let's go." My dad was in the truck and before I knew it we were on the road. "So how was your day?" He asked trying to make conversation. "It was good actually. I went for a nice walk and enjoyed myself." I smiled. I knew that was a lie but my dad didn't.

Meanwhile Sam headed back to his house. Emily was inside cooking when she heard the door slam. "Sam, is that you?" She called out. "I swear to god your cousin is insane. She slapped me across the face." Emily shut off the stove and walked over to Sam examining his cheek. "It is a little red. Why would she slap you? What happened?' Emily asked sitting down on the sofa. "I asked her how she was doing. She said, "I was great until I saw you." Emily I was trying to be friendly with her." Emily sighed, "Sam she's still hurt about everything that happened. You have to be patient." Sam grumbled. "I said I was glad I was engaged to you and not her. I called her crazy." Emily shook her head. "Sam she's still my cousin and family you need to try and respect her." Sam cut her off. "Emily she punched me before when we first broke up. I grabbed her arm," Emily's went wide. "YOU DID WHAT SAM? You didn't hurt her did you?" Sam looked around. "You're joking right. She hits me and you're worried about me hurting her. "He was yelling and then his body startled to tremble. "Sam what's going on? You can't phase in the house. Please just calm down. I don't want anyone getting hurt." Sam left the house quickly and phased outside. Emily sighed, and called over to our house.

"Hello" my mom answered the phone. "Hi Sue its Emily. I was hoping we could talk." My mom sat down on the couch, "Of course Hun. Is everything ok?" my mom was worried. Emily's sigh alerted my mom, "Not exactly. I'm not sure how to approach this." My mom shifted in her seat, "Ok. Well start where ever you feel comfortable." Emily took a deep breath, "I'm not trying to get my sister into trouble. Well Leah. I still consider her my sister, and I know she doesn't reciprocate the feeling. She got into it with Sam I heard. I'm not quite sure what happened. I'm not blaming her, and I'm not blaming him. I guess he asked how she was doing, and she wasn't too happy to see him. They exchanged words, and she slapped him across the face. I'm not angry. I know she's still hurt. I wanted to make sure she was ok." My mom was quiet for a moment, "She's out with Harry grocery shopping." My mom sighed, "I will talk to her when I she gets home." Emily panicked, "Oh please don't be angry with her. I was just asking to see if maybe she spoke to you. I'm honestly more concerned about her, then Sam. He's a big boy, and can handle himself. He should have stayed clear." My mom smiled softly, "Thank you Emily. I won't be angry with her. I will talk to her. I will see what happened, and I will get back to you." Emily smiled as best as she could, "Alright sounds good. Talk to you later." She hung up, and so did my mom.

My dad and I returned home about two hours later with the groceries, and headed inside. My mom was on the couch. She looked up at me. That look I knew all too well. It's the look of, "We're going to talk. You're not getting away that easily. My dad and I stopped and set the groceries down in the kitchen then quickly came back out to the living room. The look on my mother's face scared me. My dad walked over to her. "Sue what's wrong?" She smiled at him, "Nothing truly. Leah let's go for a walk please." She stood up, and walked over to me guiding me out the front door. We walked quietly down the road. She waited until we were out of earshot of the house. "Emily called me just so you know. She wasn't so worried about Sam, as she was you." I looked at my mom. "She said to me, she's not trying to get her sister into trouble." I looked at my mom, "That's not going to soften my feelings towards her, or him. I'm still hurt, crushed, and dead on the inside. I won't apologize for anything I said, or what I did." My mom looked at me nodding, "I had a feeling you would say that. I will keep this between us. I'm not angry, but a bit disappointed you hit Sam," I was about to object to this before my mom put a finger to my lips. "But I understand why you did it. Let's go home, you can relax and do whatever you would like." She let her hand fall, and looked at me. "I'm sorry." was all I said. She nodded, and we returned home.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 ~ The phone call, then the dinner.**

The months passed and Emily's face slowly healed. I tired to imagine what she looked like now. All I knew was that corner of her eye and lip were permanently pulled down. I felt horrible for Emily. I sat there fighting with myself whether or not I should call her. I sighed and grabbed the phone dialing Emily's number. The phone rang and rang and then the answering machine, "Hi you've reached Sam and Emily. We can't get to the phone right now. Please leave a message." I waited until the beep. "Hey Emily. Um...yeah it's Leah. I...uh. I'll call back." I hung up the phone.

I decided to hang out around the house. My parents had gone out and Seth was hanging out with his friends Colin and Brady. I had nothing to do at the moment. I had the day off from my Aunt Lily's shop. Typically I worked weekends, but she was closed for the day. I decided to rummage through the bookcase in the living room. I was trying desperately to find a book to occupy my afternoon. Then it seemed to pop out, The Bell Jar. I remembered hearing something about the author Sylvia Plath in high school. I only knew that she was extremely depressed poet who committed suicide. I took the book and curled up in a chair in the corner and started reading.

I opened the book carefully. The front cover was falling apart. It had been taped on the binding. I liked that. It's what gave it character. I started reading and before I knew it I was on the second chapter. As I read the story this section spoke to me. I felt like I had gone through this myself. The character Esther Greenwood said, "The silence depressed me. It wasn't the silence of silence. It was my own silence. I knew perfectly well the cars were making noise, and the people in them and behind the lit windows of the buildings were making noise, and the river was making a noise, but I couldn't hear a thing."

I kept reading until the phone rang. I quickly got up and answered. "Hello." Emily's same sweet voice answered. "Leah, you called. What's up?" I smiled, "I was wondering how your doing? My mom told us what happened. Are you ok now?" I felt like such an idiot asking if she was ok. Clearly she wasn't ok, a bear attacked her. Her once beautiful face was now ruined. "Leah you there?" She asked. "Um...yeah sorry." I had zoned out. "I'm doing better now. It still hurts but, I'm ok." She still sounded the same. I felt horrible. "Leah I want to apologize for everything that happened." She said catching me off guard. I had no idea what to say. "Emily don't worry about it. You and Sam are perfect for one another." I cringed saying that because, deep down I knew it was a lie. Emily let out a sigh. I wasn't sure if it was of relief or because she somehow knew how much it pained me they were together. "Thanks. I need to get going. I will talk to you soon. Bye Leah." Emily hung up.

I sat back down and grabbed the book and curled up with it once again. I looked around the quiet living room and noticed it. Hanging on the wall was a collage of photos in a frame. I looked them over. There was just one of Same and I standing there holding our diplomas. It was graduation day and we were happy. A tear escaped and was sliding down my cheek. I decided I was done reading for the day and headed into my room and laid down on my bed. The last thing I saw was my clock which read 4:39pm.

I woke up and groaned rolling over and seeing my clock read 12:15pm. I jumped out of bed and quickly worked my way to the living room looking around. "Hello?" My dad laughed. "Oh my. Sue, there's something that looks like our daughter here." He laughed. "Leave me alone. I guess I fell asleep early last night." My dad nodded. "Your mom and I came home around 6:00pm and you were out like a light." I yawned. "Leah, Emily and Sam are coming over for dinner this evening." I stood frozen in my place. "Oh. Ok." My dad looked at me and smiled. I went to my room and shut the door. I laid down and started reading again. I couldn't understand why they were coming over for dinner. Was there some sort of motive behind it? I decided to et up and take a shower. I stood there in the shower for and just let the water run. My mom knocked on the door. "Leah you almost done?" I shut off the water. "Yeah." I climbed out and dried off.

I quietly went back to my room and shut the door. I got dressed and sat there quietly waiting for dinner. I picked up the book and started reading. I let myself get lost in thought. I was trying to figure out why my cousin was attacked by a bear. I started thinking about the day she was attacked. I was on the beach with Sam when it happened. She was supposedly attacked on a fishing trip. I thought that was weird that she would have gone with out Sam. I wondered if Sam had something to do with the scars on her face. My wandering thoughts were interrupted by a knock on my door. "Hey time to come out." Seth told me. I rolled my eyes and tossed the book on my desk and left my room.

As I walked out into the living room I could hear the voices of Sam and my dad talking and laughing. Sam looked up seeing me and smiled faintly. "Hello Leah." I smiled back to be polite. I quickly made my way to the kitchen. "Hey honey." My mom smiled at me. "Leah how are you?" Emily came over and hugged me. I hugged her back but, it felt so awkward. I finally answered with a soft. "I'm good." I quietly took some dishes and silverware and set the table."Guys dinner is ready. Let's go." My mom called out. I took my usual seat. Seth sat beside me so Sam and Emily could sit together opposite us. "Dig in." My dad said starting to put food on his plate. I took some food and started to slowly eat. I kept my eyes on my plate as chatter filled the air surrounding me. "So have you and Sam picked a date for your wedding?" My mom asked excitedly. "No we're going to wait a little bit and take our time." Emily smiled and squeezed Sam's hand who also smiled. While we were eating part of me ached and a quote from The Bell Jar came to mind. Esther Greenwood said, "There is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more crazy about each other, especially when you are the only extra person in the room." I know technically wasn't alone in the rom. Watching them made me feel awkward. I wondered how Sam felt sitting across from me.

Dinner wrapped up and the my dad and Sam returned to the living room. Seth went to his room. I cleared the table and washed the dishes. I sat down quietly at the table with my mom and Emily. They were chatting and smiling. I didn't know where I belonged. Emily turned to look at me and smile and that's when I noticed the scar. I gasped rather loud. I felt the color drain from my face. What had I just done. "I...I...uh..." That's all that came out of my mouth. My mom turned to look at me. "Leah?" I just stammered unable to speak. I stood up quickly. "I'm sorry about that. I need to excuse my self. It was nice seeing you." I ran to my room and shut the door locking it. "Emily I'm so sorry hun. Leah didn't mean that. I think it took her by surprise." My mom smiled at Emily. "I am not upset at all. I know it's a shock for anyone who knew how I looked before. Anyways what were we talking about?" Emily smiled and didn't seem phased. I laid down on my bed and started to read. I must have fallen asleep reading because when I woke up my light was on and the clock read 1:13am. I shut off my light and tossed my book on the floor and went back to sleep.

(The two quotes Leah used as reference are from The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath.

Sections are from Chapter 2 pg 14 &15.)


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 ~ The fever and the last night.**

Months continued to pass and life went on. I started going back down to the beach. I just watched the ocean as it changed. When each wave came to shore, it was different. It would never be the same again. That's how my life was. My family had changed, and life would never be the same again. I got back into my routine of sitting there until sunset. Like usual someone would come and get me for dinner. "Hey sis, dinner's ready." Seth would come and get me. As we were walking it seemed like he was growing fast. "You're tall." I commented. He looked at me and chuckled. "What? I'm only 5'9." I shook my head, "Exactly your 14 and 5'9. Are mom and dad giving you growth hormones secretly?" I asked laughing. "Well you're not short yourself Leah." He did have a point I was 5'10. I felt really out of place in school being so tall. "Anyways it's probably a growth spurt." Seth finished talking as we approached the house. "Charlie's here?" I noticed the cruiser. Seth nodded. "Yeah, and so is Billy." I thought that was strange for a week night but shrugged it off.

Once we got inside there on the couch were my dad, with Charlie, and Billy was in his wheelchair. "She's home can we eat now?" Seth yelled to my mom. Charlie shook his head with a smirk. "If I didn't know better I would think your starving that kid Harry." Charlie looked at Seth smirking. "We do feed him. We're just not sure where he puts it all." My dad laughed. "He's a growing boy. They eat a lot." Billy chimed in. "How was your day Leah?" My dad asked smiling at me. "It was actually really nice. The sunset was beautiful." I smiled at my dad. "I'm glad to hear it. You deserve to have a nice day." My dad continued to smile. I headed into the kitchen to help my mom. "Hello. Do you need any help with dinner?" I asked to be polite. "Actually could you please set the table?" My mom asked bustling around the kitchen grabbing dishes from cabinets. "Sure." I pulled out the dishes along with the silverware and glasses and got to work. "Dinners ready." My mom called out the living room as she sat down at the table with me. Seth appeared with the others and we all managed to fit. "So how's it been having Bella home Charlie?" My dad said. Charlie blushed a little from embarrassment. "Thanks Harry." My dad laughed. "Anytime Charlie just let me know when and I will be there." Charlie laughed nervously. "Bella is good. She'll finish out high school here." I just listened quietly and smiled. "Oh Charlie I am so happy for you." My mom smiled with delight. "Yeah her mom is going on the road with Bella's step-father. She decided to come live with me." Everyone smiled. "I'm glad you'll have someone to keep you company and cook for you finally." Billy nudged Charlie. "Be quiet I can cook, sort of." Charlie smirked. We finished up dinner and I sneaked off to my room.

Time passed and before I knew it we were celebrating the holidays. Charlie came over for Thanksgiving and Christmas. His daughter Bella didn't come. "How is she doing?" My mom asked. "She's still a walking zombie. She'll give one word answers here and there. It's like the life has been sucked out of her when they left, when HE left." Charlie sighed. You could see he was angry, nervous, and worn out. I listened quietly. Who was this mysterious "HE" Charlie spoke of. "I'm sorry Charlie. I wish there was something we could do." My dad felt bad and you could tell. I had put my parents through the same thing. Love is a tricky thing. It sends you through a lot of emotions, and thoughts. I remember fondly how I felt when everything had happened between Sam and me.

Spring had come and Charlie seemed happy again. "Well Bella seems to have some life in her again. She's been hanging out with Jacob a lot." He smiled while talking to my parents. "We're glad to hear that Charlie. Jacob is a good kid. Billy raised him right." My dad smiled. "Hey can I ask you something Harry?" Charlie asked. My dad nodded. "Yeah anything you want." Charlie cleared his throat. "This may sound crazy but we've received some phone calls into the station. People claim to have seen what they think are bears rather close to town. One person said it looked like a huge wolf. Have you had any problem here on the reservation?" My dad looked a little startled. "Huge wolves, or bears on the reservation? No we haven't seen anything around here. When you say "huge wolves", how big are we talking?" My dad shifted a bit in his seat. Charlie smirked. "One person claimed that the wolf was at least 6 feet tall on all fours." My dad started to sweat a little and adjusted his hat and laughed nervously. "Wow nope. If I had seen something like that I think I would have remembered it." Charlie laughed. "Ok thought I should just run it pass you. All kidding aside we've had a couple of reports of missing hikers. If you do notice something let me know. I need to be going now. I will call you later." Charlie smiled, and left.

Before I knew it my dad was on the phone with Billy. He was speaking softly. "Hello Billy. It's Harry. Charlie was just over and he's received some phone calls down at the station. People have claimed to see giant bears or huge wolves. Plus some hikers have gone missing!" My dad stopped talking and was listening. "We have to let Sam know so he can let the others know." I sat in my room listening. What did they have to let Sam know and who were these "Others"? Things were starting to get weird. "I'm going to get going. I will swing by later. Bye Billy." My dad hung up the phone. "Sue I'm going to go lay down. I am a little tired." My dad walked down the hallway and went into my parent's room and shut the door. I heard the TV turn on softly in their room and the door shut.

I laid there and wondered what was going on in the tight knit community of Forks and La Push, Washington. I sat there dreaming up all these crazy scenarios. My first one that there was some crazed killer on the loose and they were dressing up as animals so they wouldn't get caught. I laughed a little. Wow I was really losing it. I turned on the radio and sat there listening to music while flipping through a magazine. I started wondering, was it really possible Emily was attacked by a bear and Sam had nothing to do with it. I tried to remember the phone call my dad had with Billy, "We have to let Sam know so he let the others know." Then I wondered and shook my head. It couldn't be possible. Emily was attacked by a bear. Why would a wolf attack Emily? I tried to focus on the magazine and was able to forget about what I was thinking.

A few days passed and my dad was rather quiet. He wasn't going out as much. He had been spending quite a bit of time around the house. "Harry you ready to go shopping?" My mom asked. "Yeah let's go Sue." He pulled himself off the couch and his face flushed with red underneath his dark skin. "Are you ok? You don't look so good?" My mom placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm fine Sue, I'm just tired. It happens when you get old." He smiled trying to get my mom to stop worrying. "Ok if you say so." She grabbed her purse and headed out the door. She wasn't buying it. She was worried about him. I tried to not let it bother me. I decided to see what Seth thought. I got up and knocked on his door. "Hey, can I talk to you?" Seth opened the door and sat back down at his desk. "What's up?" I took a seat on his bed. "Have you noticed Dad acting weird? He's constantly resting and isn't as happy as he used to be." I said. "He's been tired but that's about it Leah." Seth shrugged. "Mom is worried about him. " I mentioned. "If he wasn't feeling good he'd tell us." Seth said turning back to work on his homework. "I guess you're right." I got up off the bed and left shutting the door behind me.

School was quiet and I had headed home. My mom smiled as I walked in, "Ah perfect timing. We're going to Billy's for dinner tonight. All of us." I stayed quiet and nodded, and walked to my room. I made sure I finished my homework before we had to go. "Leah, and Seth let's go." I groaned and walked out to the living room. We headed over to Billy's house. I asked if I could use the phone, once we got there. Billy gave me the ok. I quickly called Juliette. I didn't want to be here. I was dragged along. While talking I noticed, Jacob had shown up with a girl who was looking at me. I assumed she must have been, Bella. Jacob was practically drooling over her. She was your average looking high school girl. When it was time to eat, I passed and continued to talk on the phone. My mom came over to me and whispered, "Why don't you talk to Bella. She's your age. She may want some friends." I snarled at my mom, "No thank you. She can have Jacob. I don't want a zombie for a friend. Anyways, I'm quite fine without friends. I have Amanda, and Juliette. Now if you don't mind, you're interrupting my conversaiton." My mom was furious, "You're in deep trouble with me. We'll speak when we get home. " I flipped my hair, "Yeah whatever you say." She snapped her head in my directon, "You're on thin ice. If I were you, I would watch that mouth." She stormed off leaving me to my phone call. When it was time to leave, I couldn't wait, and took off back home.

The days passed and I started to not feel well. My body ached. I didn't have energy to do anything. The ache seemed to get worse as the day went on. I thought maybe I was coming down with the flu. I was easily aggravated. The smallest of things would get me snapping at everyone. I remember Seth asked me if he could watch something on TV. "Leah can I have the TV for an hour." I stood up and threw the remote on the couch. "Watch whatever you want I don't care." I stormed off to my room and slammed the door. My dad seemed to still not be feeling well and was in bed resting. I grabbed my book and headed down to the beach and spent some time down there. I needed a disguise. I sat there on a large piece of drift wood trying to ease the pain throughout my body.

The sky was changing because the day was ending. My dad came and got me. "Hi Hun, have you been out here all day?" My dad asked smiling. He didn't have his usual glow. I shook my head no. "I came down in the afternoon just so I could watch the sunset." My dad smiled and I stood up grabbing my book. As we walked back to the house my dad said, "You're awfully quiet. Are you ok?" I shrugged. "I don't feel so hot. I think I may be coming down with something. My body aches." My dad put his arm around my shoulder and we walked home quietly enjoying each other's company.

We got back to the house and sat down to eat dinner. "So how was school today Seth?" My mom asked. "Same old, same old." Seth laughed. I pushed the food around on my plate. My mom's soft hand touched mine. "Are you ok? You haven't touched your dinner." My mom smiled softly. "I'm not feeling good. Can I go lay down?" I asked pushing myself away from the table. "Yes. I will come in, and check on you in a little bit." My mom pulled her hand back. I quietly slid off my chair and laid down in my room. I curled up under my blanket and dozed off. Meanwhile my parents sat at the table. "Harry I'm worried about her. She didn't touch her dinner. She felt warmer than usual like she may have a fever. Plus she was a bit pale." My mom sighed. "Leah did mention she thought she may be coming down with something." Seth finished eating and cleared the table putting the dishes in the sink and went to the living room. "Sue if she isn't better in a few days we'll take her to get checked out." My dad smiled at my mom.

Later that night I woke up, and I was freezing. My clock read 11:43pm, and the house was quiet. I got up out of bed, and made my way to the kitchen to get a drink. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, sitting down at the table. I opened the bottle taking a large sip. It felt so good because I was so thirsty. I then could hear someone else up and walking around. My dad appeared in the kitchen. "Hey what are you doing up?" He asked walking over to the cabinet grabbing some antacid. He took a few popping them in his mouth. "I'm freezing and I wanted something to drink." I was shivering a little and he noticed. My dad walked over to me and put his hand on my forehead. "Leah, you're burning up. Let me take your temperature." He left and retrieved the thermometer from the bathroom. "You know the drill." He said to me smiling. I took it putting it under my tongue. He stood there and kept a hand on my shoulder. I sat there closing my eyes. The thermometer went off. My dad took it reading the display. "You've got a fever for sure. It's 101.7. Let's get you something to take it down and get you into bed." I stood up grabbing my water and went to my room, and laid down. My dad followed behind me and covered me up and kissed me on the forehead. "Get some sleep and I will check on you in a bit. I love you." I smiled a little. "I love you too dad."

I had fallen asleep, feeling crummy and woke up feeling crummy. I knew I didn't want to spend all day in bed. I stretched and headed to the bathroom and took a hot shower in hopes I would warm up. After I was done I walked out into the kitchen looking to make something to eat. I still didn't have my appetite. I went and grabbed my jacket and decided to go for a walk. I took off and it was still early because the sun was just starting to break through. I walked through the woods quietly. I felt at peace out here. It just seemed like this was where I belonged. I felt so protective of the woods. As I was walking I tripped and fell and hit my knee on a rock. "Dammit." I yelled out and a flock or bird suddenly flew over head. I thought that was strange. I hadn't yelled that loud. I was angry because I tore my jeans in the process. "Great now I have to get a new pair of jeans." I was talking to myself as I walked farther into the woods and was still brewing from falling earlier. I felt like death had taken over my body. My body was aching so badly now. I couldn't take it anymore. "Why me? What did I do to feel like crap? This life just sucks sometimes." I was snarling as I walked. Then out of nowhere I had this feeling like I wasn't alone. I looked around, "Hello. Is someone there? Sam if that's you it's not funny." I started to walk back towards the house and kept looking over my shoulder. Then all of the sudden out of nowhere a blur of fire blew past me and slammed into me. I fell onto the ground unable to move. I laid there stunned for a moment then got up. I was so angry.

I got to my feet not feeling well. My whole body felt extremely off. I was scared because I'd never felt anything like this before. I quietly made my way back to the house, and walked inside. I didn't say anything; I just laid down on my bed, curling up into a ball. My mom's car pulled up outside. Moments later there was a light knock on my door. My mom poked her head in. "How are you feeling?" I shrugged trying to stay calm. "I'm ok." My mom eyed me carefully. "Leah you're still rather pale?" I quickly shook my head. She smiled. "Ok. I want to get check your temperature again. I will be right back." She left to get the thermometer. Before I knew it she was back and sitting on the edge of my bed. "Here you go." She handed it to me. I laid there waiting for the thing to beep and finally it did. My mom sighed, "Your still running a fever you're at 101.7. I thought dad gave you something for it." I nodded. "He did and I felt better for a little bit." My mom took the thermometer. "Well it may have come down for a little bit but its sure back. I want you to stay laying down ok. I need to start dinner." She smiled and kissed me lightly on the cheek. I knew she wanted to see how warm my skin was. My grandmother had taught her that trick.

My body was still aching. I laid there in my bed trying to figure out, what was going on. I felt like someone had hit me with a car. I kept feeling my eyes get heavy. I heard my dad's truck pull up outside and the front door open. "Sue I'm home. How's the patient?" He walked out into the kitchen and kissed my mom on the cheek. "She's still running a fever of 101.7. If it's still there tomorrow she's going to the hospital." My dad nodded. "Is she in her room?" My mom nodded and I could hear my dad walk down the hallway. He came in, and sat on the edge of my bed, "How you feeling?" I shrugged and sat up a little."I'm ok I guess. My body is still so sore." I rubbed my stomach gently. My dad looked at me carefully. "Your mom told me you're still running a fever." He leaned over feeling my forehead and nodded slightly. I looked at him, "Well I sort of..." I paused for a moment. "You did what Leah?" My dad looked at me. "I sort of went out for a walk earlier today, while mom went out for a little bit." My dad's eyes went wide. "You're sick why did you do that?" The disappointment along with concern started to show on his face. "I needed some fresh air. Please just listen to me. I was in the woods and something that looked like fire flew past me and knocked me to the ground." My dad sat up and rubbed his chest a little and was starting to sweat. "Are you ok Dad?" He nodded. "I'm fine Leah continue." I took a deep breath and continued. "I felt this weird feeling surge through my body. My heart started to race, and I felt shaky. I quickly came home, and laid back down." My dad just looked at me then leaned over and hugged me and whispered. "I love you sweetie." He then quietly got up and left the room and went into my parent's room.

A little while later I heard, "Dinners ready." My mom called out setting out the last of the food. I sat down at the table. "So how was everyone's day?" My dad asked trying to make conversation. "Ok I guess." Seth said. "Leah?" I shrugged. "Same I guess. Just still blah." My mom felt my forehead. "You're still really warm. After dinner I want you to go back to bed." I nodded and took a few small bites of my dinner. My dad sat there and rubbed his chest a little and was sweating. "Harry is everything ok?" My mom stopped eating and looked at him. "Yeah I have some heartburn." He finished eating and went to bed and so did I. Seth stayed and helped my mom. "I'm worried about your father." My mom started washing the dishes. "He said it was just heartburn." Seth responded. My mom smiled. "I guess you're right." Seth winked. "I always am. I'm the good child." He laughed and my mom hugged him. I fell asleep shortly after laying back down. My mom slipped into bed with my dad and watched him sleep, and a smile came across her face.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 ~ The Heart Attack**

My alarm went off at date on my calendar seemed to be huge. March 16th, 2006. I didn't think much about it. I got up and headed for the bathroom and took a shower. I was feeling a little better actually. Finally I thought, "I might be over that stupid fever." As I was getting ready I listened and heard my mom and dad talking softly. "I need to talk to her. I know she was not feeling well but, she's getting out of control. Her temper is not ok. I'm tired of this constant attitude. I know she's angry about Emily, and Sam, but she can't take it out on me." My dad nodded, "I agree with you. We need to speak with her." Once I was dressed I headed to the kitchen to grab a banana, and headed towards the front door. My parents stood in the living room. "Leah stop, we need to talk." I looked at my mom, "Well it's going to have to wait. I have to get to school. This little chit chat can wait until I get home." My mom put her hands on her hips, "You know this is what our chat is about. I won't wait. Your mood swings, are horrible. I don't know what's going on, but it needs to stop. We understand if you're angry still about, Sam and Emily." I put my hand up pausing her, "I'm not angry. I hate them both. I may have apologized to her, but honestly Emily got what she deserved. They both lie, and are dead in my eyes. So as I was saying I'm going to school." My dad stood up beside my mom, "Young lady you need to lose this attitude. I'm getting rather tired of it myself. We didn't raise you to speak to us like this." I shrugged my shoulders, "Oh well deal with it. Now I'm leaving." My mom raised her voice, "Leah Sky Clearwater you'll leave when I tell you to." Out of nowhere my entire body started trembling. "Leah what's going on?" My mom asked nervously. I growled and all of the sudden, I was standing there looking around. The couch we had was torn up. My dad was clutching his chest. "Is dad okay?" I tried to ask, but howling was all that escaped my mouth. He was standing there beside my mom unable to speak. He was sweating and holding his chest. "Su..." was all that came out. In slow motion I watched as he fell to the ground. There was a thud as he landed. I just whimpered, and whined. I kept trying to talk, but nothing would come out. "HARRY! OH MY GOD HARRY. PLEASE ANSWER ME!" He was lying on his back on the ground. She was beside him. She started to do CPR. Seth had come running into the living room and saw our dad, "Dad talk to me please." Seth cried out. My dad's eyes were closed. "SETH CALL 911!" Seth scrambled inside and was on the phone.

"911 what's your emergency?" asked the operator.

"My dad he just fell to the ground. He was sweating and grabbed his chest." Seth answered.

"Is he breathing?" she asked.

"I can't tell." Seth answered.

"Is there anyone with you?" The operator asked.

"Yeah my mom is. She's a nurse." Seth quickly answered.

"Ask your mom if he's breathing?" replied the operator.

"Mom is he breathing?" Seth called out.

"No he's not. Tell them to hurry." my mom was frantic

"Please hurry he's not breathing." Seth pleaded.

"The paramedics are on their way." the operator told Seth.

Seth quickly hung up the phone and ran back into the living room. That's when my dad started to shake. "Oh my god what's happening to him?" Seth started to cry. My mom and I just held his hand. "Harry please stay with us." My mom gently stroked his forehead. "Dad I love you. You're going to be ok." Seth spoke to him. We heard the sirens coming down the street. I was able to phase back quickly, then took off outside and into the woods before I phased again. I had to watch from a distance. The sirens became closer, and closer. The paramedics were beside my dad hooking him up to monitors and attaching tubes and bags of fluid to him. He was trying to talk but nothing was coming out. He was just laying there blinking. My mom just held his hand until they got him on the stretcher. She let go of his hand when they put him in the back of the ambulance. She stood there and watched as they drove off. Seth started to tremble as well. My mom stood there watching, backing up slowly. Where my brother once stood, clothes laid strewn across the grass. There was a sandy colored wolf standing there. My mom had turned white. "Seth go into the woods. Find your sister. I need to call Billy. She went inside and called Billy, and Sam explaining everything that had happened.

I was able to calm down relatively quickly once again. Seth was even quicker then I was. We walked back inside to where my mom was. She just looked at us. "Are you both alright?" We nodded quietly. There was nothing else we could say. "I've called Billy, and Sam. They're aware of what happened with both of you. I've also called Charlie." I couldn't hear a thing except the thud of my dad hitting the ground over and over. Before I realized we were at the hospital and parked. We arrived at the hospital, and I ran inside to the main waiting room. Charlie and Seth were inside after a few minutes. My mom was on the pay phone talking to Emily. "Hello Emily the kids and I are here at the hospital with Charlie." My mom stopped speaking as Emily asked questions. "Sweetie I don't know anything yet. Can you call Billy please?" She stopped and then answered. "Ok I will call you back." My mom hung up the phone. Charlie walked over and hugged her.

Before I knew it Sam, Emily and Billy were just walking in entrance. They joined us in the waiting room. "What happened to him?" Someone asked. "There was a disagreement between, Leah, and I. All of the sudden he collapsed. They both saw the whole thing happen." My mom told them. Emily came over and hugged me. I wanted to so desperately pull away, but I didn't. She was trying to be there for me, and I had to let her. It was the least I could do. "He'll be ok. I promise." She was desperately trying to reassure me. Seth was just sitting in one of the chairs staring at the floor. "How are you holding up? I know this is scary?" Seth looked up to hear Billy speaking to him. Seth's cheeks were stained where the tears ran down and his eyes were red. "I don't want him to die." Seth put his head back down. The tears started to stream down his cheeks again. I just wanted to protect him from all of this.

The minutes ticked by. It seemed like forever. We were finally brought back to this much smaller waiting room. There were a few chairs and a lamp in there. The small room also had a small fridge with a sink. I need a moment to escape all of this just a moment for myself. I slipped away to the bathroom. When I returned Charlie was sitting beside my mom holding her. Billy was sitting near them. Emily and Seth were sitting together on a set of chairs. Sam was pacing back and forth. I leaned against the wall. I surveyed the room. It was a creamy white color on the walls. There was a picture hanging up by some famous artist. I don't know who drew it but I had seen it before.

After some time a nurse came in the room and a doctor followed. "Mrs. Clearwater." He said. My mom looked up. "Yes I'm Mrs. Clearwater." The doctor pulled a chair up in front of her. I started thinking that; he was going to end up in the hospital for a long time. That he didn't just have a heart attack it was something worse. I thought maybe he wouldn't be able to come home. Maybe he was going to be living in a nursing home after this. We were all very quiet. " , I'm . I was the doctor who took care of your husband. When he came in he wasn't responsive. There was no pulse or heart beat. We tried for over half an hour to resuscitate him." The doctor inhaled deeply. "I'm so sorry but he didn't make it." I stood there in disbelief. "Wait! What? Where is he?" I asked looking between the nurse and the doctor. "We can take you back to see him." The doctor said standing up and put the chair back. Charlie stood up and put an arm around my mom. Emily was with Seth. Sam stood on one side of me and Billy took the other. I was the first one out of the room. The nurse was talking as we walked. I don't know what she said. I couldn't hear anything. It seemed to all move in slow motion. It seemed like forever until we go to the room.

Then there was the room. Above the doorway was a square plastic sign that read 15. The glass doors were open but there was a curtain pulled across so you couldn't see in. I opened the curtain a little and was the first to see him laying there. He was motionless. There was a sheet that covered from his feet to waist. His eyes were closed and his mouth was slightly open. His arms were to his side. I went right over to him and started to gently brush his hair with my hand. "Dad no, this can't be real. Why?" I could hear Seth right beside me. He was holding my dad's hand. "Dad you can't be gone. No. No, please." He was crying. My mom was on the other side of my dad holding his hand and gently touching his forehead. "Oh Harry. Why Harry." She was teary eyed.

Charlie stood beside my mom and put his arm around her shoulder. I rubbed Seth's back and he leaned against me. My dad's skin was so cold. It was like he'd been outside with no jacket on. I pulled the sheet over his arms and up to his chest and tucked him in. "Sorry dad but you feel cold to me so I need to cover you up." As I stood there I started to sway a little. "Leah let's get you some fresh air." Sam spoke gently. "Dad I will be back in a few minutes." I kissed his forehead and Sam put an arm around my shoulder and we walked out of the room. We walked quietly down the hallway to the exit. Once we got outside I just collapsed on the ground. My legs wouldn't support me anymore. Sam was beside me in a second and pulled me against him. There was no use in fighting him. "Sam I don't understand." He sighed. "Leah none of us do." Sam and I sat there for a while. While he held me for that short moment my anger towards him wasn't worth the energy. He was being a worried friend. After some time of us sitting there we headed back in the room.

Seth was sitting down when we came back in and Billy was beside him. I took the seat on the other side of Seth. Emily was standing by my mom now along with Charlie. I leaned over and whispered in his ear. "I promise to take care of them. I will make sure Seth graduates high school." The nurse brought in a couple of boxes of tissues. "If there's anything you need, please let me know." The nurse smiled and left the room. I just looked at my dad and said it out loud without any thought. "I want a lock of his hair, just a small piece." My mom looked at me and I looked up making eye contact with her. "We can do that sweetie." I will take a piece for Seth and myself also." The nurse came back in. "Excuse me. May I borrow a pair of scissors and could I have three plastic bags?" The nurse smiled and nodded yes. "Thank you. My children and I would like some of his hair." My mom smiled as she continued to gently brush his hair. My mom was not allowing herself to cry in front of us.

The nurse left and came back with the scissors and three bags. My moms carefully cut his hair and placed it in the bags. Billy looked at Sam and spoke softly. "I hate to leave but I need to get home." Sam nodded. "I will take you home and then come back." My mom looked at Billy. "Thank you so much for coming." My mom walked over and hugged him before he left. "I will call you tomorrow." Billy smiled. "I will be back shortly." Sam said and pushed Billy's chair out of the room. Seth sat there quietly sobbing softly. "I...I ne...need to...to get...some fresh air." He stood up and left the room. Charlie didn't move at all he kept his arm around my mom's shoulder. I sat there just watching my dad's chest hoping to see some movement. "Leah, Charlie and I will be back in a few minutes." My mom hugged me tightly and left the room.

I leaned over and just hugged my dad. I couldn't cry. I was still in too much shock. Emily was so quiet I forgot she was there. "Leah he's in a better place. He feels no pain anymore." She gently leaned over and hugged me as I hugged my dad. Sam came back in with Seth. A few minutes later Charlie and my mom came back. "Seth and Leah, I know this is going to be hard. We should get going and head home. We all could use some rest." My mom said looking at both of us. I hugged my dad one last time. "Dad I will always love you. I miss will miss you so much." I slowly pulled away and let go of his hand. I looked back once and then left the room and walked down the long hallway. I felt so empty. Seth hugged my dad one last time and through the sobs said, "I...I...love...you...Dad." My brother never cried. Everyone else said their goodbyes then my mom. "Harry I will miss you so much and I will always love you." She leaned over and kissed his forehead then walked out. Charlie wrapped his arm around her shoulder and walked. Emily walked with Seth putting her arm around his shoulder. Sam ran to catch up with me. I was in the parking lot walking towards the cars. "Leah, please wait up." Sam called out. I didn't respond so he grabbed my arm. "Leah stop!" I spun around and shoved him. "Get away from me." I shoved him again and again. Then I fell to the ground landing on my knees. Sam came over. "Leah I'm so sorry. God I wish I could take the hurt away." Sam held me. Even though I still hated him for breaking my heart, he made me feel safe for that moment. The others walked outside and hurried over. "Is she ok?" Charlie asked squatting down. Sam nodded. "Yeah she's just upset." Sam helped me to my feet and helped me into the back of the cruiser. Seth climbed in the other side. Charlie opened the door in front for my mom. "Thank you Charlie." She slid in and he shut the door and climbed in the driver's side and the engine roared to life. Sam and Emily got into her car and headed home.

The ride home was quiet. Charlie pulled into the driveway. We all got out of the car. Everyone headed inside. I stopped for a moment beside my dad's truck where he'd collapsed and I looked up. Just then there was a shooting star and the wind blew ever so gently through my hair. I smiled and went inside. When I walked in I looked over at where my dad usually sat but the seat was empty. I sighed. Seth hugged my mom and Charlie which was different and went to his room. I said my goodbye to Charlie, and my mom and I hugged her so tight. I was so afraid at this point. I didn't want to lose anyone else.

I quietly sat down at my desk and pulled out my journal. I had a picture on my desk of my dad and me in a frame that said, "Friends Forever." My mom looked around. "It's so strange not seeing him here." Charlie just stood quietly looking around. "It's going to take some time Sue. Listen you and the kids need to get some rest. I will be back in the morning to help you with arrangements." Charlie hugged my mom. "Thank you so much." He smiled and left. My mom looked one last time around the living room before shutting off the lights and went to her room and cried.

I can't recall a time I heard my mom cry. It pained me to hear her. Seth sat there listening to, "Angel's Son by Sevendust." He kept it on repeat. I sat there with my journal. It laid there open ready for me to write. I picked up a pen and this is what I wrote.

March 16, 2006

He's gone. I couldn't save him. He's gone. He's never coming back.

I shut my journal and laid down on my bed and curled up into a ball and fell asleep.

Note: The song I chose to have Seth listen to was suggested to me from a friend when my grandfather died. It's an awesome song.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 ~ The Arrangements

I didn't sleep well that night. I tossed and turned. I woke up early and rolled out of bed and went to the kitchen. I looked at my dad's chair and my heart sunk at that moment. There was a knot growing in my stomach. It didn't seem real. I started to feel nauseated. I just sat there quietly and put my head on the table and closed my eyes. A groggy eyed Seth stumbled into the kitchen. "Hey Leah. How are you doing?" He rubbed his eyes. I shrugged. "I'm ok." Seth smiled a little trying to make me feel better. "Can I make you something to eat?" Seth asked looking in the fridge. "I'm not hungry. Thanks anyways." I said. Seth grabbed some waffles from the freezer and popped them in the toastar. He poured a cup of coffee and added some cream. "Here at least have some coffee." He set it down on the table in front of me. "Drink up." I smiled. "Thanks." I took a sip from the cup. Yesterday flashed back into my head. I just saw my dad drinking his coffee. "Your thinking about him." Seth looked at me. I nodded just a little. His waffles popped up and he grabbed the butter and syrup and put it on. He took his plate and sat down at the table.

There was a knock on the front door. "I'll get it." My mom's voice had come out of nowhere. "Sue, how are you?" Charlie's voice came from the front door. "I'm ok. Please come in." Charlie stepped in and shut the door behind him. They came into the kitchen. "Good morning." My mom smiled and poured two cups of coffee. She handed one to Charlie and kept one for herself. "Thank you Sue." Charlie smiled. He and my mom sat down at the table with us. My mom sat in my dad's seat. Seth finished eating and put his dish in the sink. "I'm going to go take a shower." He headed into the bathroom.

"So today we're heading down to the funeral home and church. We need to make arrangements for tomorrow." My mom said. "That's fine. So is it just you and I?" Charlie asked. My mom looked at me. "Leah are you coming with us?" I looked up from my coffee. "Yeah if it's ok with you." I smiled at her. She smiled back. "That's fine." I heard the shower shut off and Seth went into his room. I got up form the table and headed for the bathroom to take a quick shower. Before I got in I knocked on Seth's door. "Hey Seth, are you coming with us?" I waited. "No I'm going to stay here." I was in and out of the shower and dressed within seconds it seemed. I just put my hair up in a ponytail. I popped back into the kitchen. "I'm ready." Charlie smiled. "Ok let's go." My mom said putting the coffee cups in the sink.

I headed outside and I stopped dead in my tracks. I was at the spot. I could hear the thud and it all started replaying in my head. I could hear my voice in my head haunting me. "You didn't save him. Why didn't you try?" I stood there frozen in place. A hand was on my shoulder. "Leah. Are you ok?" My mom asked. "Uh...yeah." I walked towards her car. I climbed in the backseat. Charlie and my mom climbed in and the car started and we were on our way. I just watched the spot as we drove off until it was gone.

The ride was quiet from my end. Charlie and my mom joked a little. "You know, all Harry had to say was he didn't want to go shopping." My mom laughed to ease the tensions. Charlie shook his head laughing. "That's funny Sue." We had pulled into the parking lot for the funeral home. I was the first one out of the car. My mom and Charlie got out and walked on either side of me. The door to the funeral home opened and an older man appeared. "Hello." He smiled and held the door for us then disappeared. We walked inside and I looked around. "Sue I'm so sorry." This shorter round woman with jet black hair took my mom's hands and held them. Her hair was pulled back into this beautiful french braid. Not a hair was out of place. She was wearing a dark purple dress with long sleeves and black nylons and flat black shoes.

She brought us into a small room and I took in the surroundings. There were two chairs on either side. On the table was a bouquet of flowers, a phone, boxes of tissues and a small business card holder. Then against a set of windows was an antique love seat and two more chairs on the opposite of the room. My mom and the woman sat down in the chair on one side of the table my mom on the other. Charlie and I sat on the loveseat. The woman introduced herself to Charlie and I. "Hello I'm Sharon. I'm the funeral director here. I'm so sorry we had to meet like this." She shook her hands and sat down. I clenched my teeth together and I think Charlie heard it because he turned and looked at me. I tried to smile. He smiled back and whispered. "It will be ok."

She picked up a file and started writing. She spoke, "Now I have Harry's information here from the hospital." The woman read it all off to my mom making sure it was all correct. "Yep everything is correct Sharon." My mom's hair was pulled back in a ponytail today. Her beautiful black silky hair that she always wore down was up. I looked and noticed she was wearing dream catcher earrings. They were small with three feathers and a small piece of turquoise in the middle of the dream catcher. They sat there and talked about the service and what would happen. I sat there playing with a loose thread I found on my shirt. I eventually zoned out as they spoke. I couldn't believe this was really happening. Charlie lightly nudged me and smiled. I smiled back.

Before I knew it the woman was saying, "Ok Sue. We will see you tomorrow. Again I am so sorry for your loss. Harry was a great man." She smiled at my mom. Charlie stood up and I followed. I headed outside and leaned against my mom's car. Charlie came outside. "How are you doing kiddo?" He asked leaning beside me. "Yeah I'm fine. I just want to go home and take a nap. It's been a long day so far." Charlie sighed. "I agree."

My mom walked out and over to us. She hugged me. That's when I heard it. There was a slight sob in her breathing. Charlie joined in on the hug and embraced the both of us at the same time. "We're going to get through this. It's going to be rough but we'll do it." The knot in my stomach crept back up. My mom wiped underneath her eyes where the tears were starting. "Ok now we can go home and rest a little bit." My mom said and climbed in the drivers seat. Charlie and I both climbed in and we were on our way.

The whole ride home I just sat there imaging my dad. I was trying so desperately to preserve his voice in my head. The way his aftershave smelled. It was so hard. Then my dad's favorite song came on the radio. My mom turned up the radio. "Harry loved this song. Maybe it's his sign letting us know he's ok." She smiled and kept driving. Charlie smiled and I just listened as the song started. My mom sang along.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger

May you never take one single breath for granted

God forbid love ever leave you empty-handed

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance

Never settle for the path of least resistance

Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking

Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth making

Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter

When you come close to selling out reconsider

Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)

I hope you dance

(Rolling us along)

I hope you dance

(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)

I hope you dance

(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance

I hope you dance

(Dance)

I hope you dance

(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)

I hope you dance

(Rolling us along)

I hope you dance

(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)

I hope you dance

(Where those years have gone)

Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder

(Dance)

Where those years have gone

(Dance)

When the song finished my mom smiled and was a little teary eyed. "Wow." That's all she said. I looked up and we were home. I was the first out of the car and inside. I went straight to my room and laid down and dozed off.

"Charlie I can't thank you enough." My mom spoke as she got out of the car. "Sue your like family to me." He smiled. "Let me make you some lunch and we can relax for a little bit." She pulled the elastic out of her hair letting the pony tail fall. Her gorgeous silk black hair fell down to the middle of her back. She and I had the same length of hair and color.

As I slept I started to dream. I dreamed I was walking through he woods when I saw my dad. "DAD! Your alive." I ran up to him and hugged him. "Leah. Sweetheart are you ok? My dad asked. I started to cry. He wiped away my tears. "Leah don't cry." I just held onto him. "Dad I thought you were gone. I saw you laying on the ground." We walked back towards our house. I could see my mom, Seth and myself all huddled around my dad who was laying on the ground. There was a little girl there also. Her hair was long and black and pulled back into a ponytail. She was scared. I felt horrible because she was crying. She called out, "Daddy. Daddy. Daddy, please wake up." I could hear my mom all over again. "Harry please. You can't leave me and the kids." The little girl clung to Seth's side. I watched as he put his head down. The ambulance pulled up and put my dad on a stretcher. He was put into the back and the ambulance left. The little girl was left there all alone. I turned and looked at my dad. His face was expressionless. He stood there quietly not moving. I fell onto my knees and started crying. My dad knelt down beside me. "Leah, I love you, your mother and Seth. I need to go it's my time." He smiled softly at me. He kissed the top of my head and walked back into the woods. I tried to run after him. I couldn't' seem to get my feet to move. Then out of nowhere he little girl was right infront of me. "You made my daddy go away. Why?" She kept asking. I started to cry. "Sweetie I didn't mean to. I am so sorry." The little girl became upset. "It's your fault you made him go away. Your a bad lady." She was gone.

I startled awake and screamed. "DAD!" My mom and Charlie came running in. "Leah are you ok?" My mom sat down on the bed and hugged me. "I...I..had a dream. He said it was his time to go. Mom it wasn't. Then there was this little girl." I just stopped and let my head fall back against the pillow. "Shh Leah it was only a dream." I looked over at my clock and it read 8:38pm. "You've been asleep for a while. See if you can get back to bed." My mom gently touched my cheek. "Ok." I tried to smile and fell back asleep. She and Charlie walked out.

"I should be getting home. Bella is probably wondering where I am. I will see you in the morning." Charlie hugged my mom. "Thank you Charlie. I will expect you around 8:00am." He nodded. "Yes ma'am. Call me if you need anything." He left. My mom sighed and curled up in my dad's chair and finally broke down. "Harry I miss you so much. You should be sitting here in this chair." That was the first night I heard my mom break down. She cried herself to sleep.

Note:

The song is I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack

The song was written by Mark Summers.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 ~ The Funeral

I woke and read the display on my alarm clock. The numbers read 4:30am. The sky was still dark, and I quietly slid off the bed. I grabbed my jeans out of my drawer along with a t-shirt and got dressed in the dark. I walked out into the living room and found my mom sleeping. She was in my dad's chair curled up under his jacket. In her hands she held the plastic that had a lock of my dad's hair. I grabbed the afghan off the back of the couch and draped it over her. She stirred a little and mumbled, "Harry." I slowly stepped back and slipped out the front door not waking her.

I looked around and there was a dense fog. I took off into the woods. The guilt hung over me like a 100 pound weight. Once I was safely within the woods I let myself relax a little. I stopped behind a tree and slipped out of my clothes leaving them in a pile. I started to run and felt my whole body start to shake and I phased. I continued running. I just wanted to be free for a while. I was trying to discover this new ability I had. All of the sudden out of nowhere I head Sam in my head, "Listen we need to find her. The red head is after Bella." I listened and thought, "Sam was talking to someone and, who were they talking about?" Then he spoke again, "What's going on I just head Leah?" I stopped running and didn't move I just listened. "If Leah can hear us, then we can hear her." Jacob's voice was there now. "Leah please just tell us where you are." Sam's voice was there again. "I ignored him and ran back to where I left my clothes and phased back. "Dammit, she's not in wolf form anymore. She's somewhere in the woods." Sam thought to the others. He just shook his head and continued with the rest of his patrol.

I put my clothes back on and headed back to the house. Once I finally arrived there I sat down and leaned against the truck. I kept my eyes on the spot where he'd collapsed. I don't know what I was expecting to see. The sky was still dark. I just thought about everything that had gone on. I blamed myself for his death. If I hadn't phased he'd be alive. I was there for a while until Charlie pulled up. "Leah, what are you doing out here?" I looked up to see him wearing a suit that was a little dated, and he couldn't button the jacket shut. It didn't matter. I stood up and shrugged. "I was just thinking and needed some fresh air." He nodded. We walked inside and my mom was just waking up. "Leah, were you outside?" I started to nod and Charlie spoke, "She was getting some fresh air." He smiled at me and shut the door and took a seat on the couch.

I headed into my room and grabbed my towels. Once I was in the safety of the bathroom I locked the door and turned on the water. I stood there for a few minutes looking at myself in the mirror. There was a blank look to me. I climbed in the shower and just sighed. I stood there waiting for the tears to flow. Nothing came. Was I broken? Was I just dead emotionally? Why do I feel so confused? I finished up and shut off the shower and wrapped myself up in my towels and resorted back to my room. I got dressed effortlessly without any distractions. I put on a simple black sleeveless dress. I found a springtime sweater that was black. I grabbed a pair of black flats out of my closet. I pulled my long hair back in a ponytail and gave myself a quick look-over in the mirror. I let out a long sigh, "You ok Leah?" Seth appeared in the doorway. I stood there for a moment and looked at him using my mirror. He came over and stood beside me putting an arm around my shoulder. He was wearing a black suit with a white collared shirt and a nice royal blue tie. My little brother looked like a young man now. "It's going to be ok." He smiled into the mirror so I could see him. I forced a half smile.

"Guys are you ready?" my mom called out from the living room. Seth yelled back, "We're coming now." He let go of me and we headed out of my room and down the small hallway. My mom was standing there beside Charlie wearing a black knee length skirt, along with a black long sleeve blouse. She had on black high heels and was wearing simple small pearl earrings with a matching necklace. She had pulled back her beautiful silky black hair into this beautiful French braid.

"We all ready to go?" Charlie asked. "Yep." my mom replied. "Actually I'm going to drive dad's truck. If it's ok with you, mom?" I asked cautiously. My mom and Charlie exchanged glances. "Well I'm ok with it." she replied. "I'm going with her." Seth jumped at opportunity to ride with me. "Ok well the two of you be careful. We'll see you there." She gave both of us a hug. I grabbed the keys and headed outside and climbed in the truck. I stuck the keys in the ignition and the engine came to life again. For a split second I thought I could hear my dad's voice once again in my head. He said, "Be careful." Seth climbed in the passenger's side. "Ready?" I asked and he nodded. I backed out and shifted the truck into drive and we were off down the road.

The ride was quiet until Seth asked it, "Do you think he knew what was happening? Like could he hear us or see us?" I thought about it and didn't have an answer. I just shrugged, "I don't think he felt anything." Seth told me. I just kept driving. After that the rest of the drive was quiet. I sat there remembering the times I spent with my father. Hanging from the mirror was my dad's dream catcher. I would look at it every so often. Before I knew it I was pulling into the driveway for the funeral home. I found a space and parked. I took a deep breath and grabbed the keys from the ignition and slid out.

I adjusted my shirt while Seth fidgeted with his tie. He stood next to me once we were done. Charlie and my mom pulled in the space beside us and climbed out of her car and joined us. "Well let's head inside." my mom spoke as she linked arms with Charlie. Sharon the funeral director greeted us at the door. "Hello, how are you all doing?" I thought to myself, "Did she really ask how we're doing?" I clenched my teeth and gave an answer in my head, "Oh it's sunshine and rainbows Sharon. We're all so chipper." I clenched my fists and looked down at the floor trying to stay calm. The last thing I needed to do was phase today of all days. "Please come this way." she directed us into a large room.

Once I stepped in I looked around. The walls were like a cream color. there was low lighting to set the atmosphere. There were several couches against a wall with little end tables and lamps on them. Then in the back of the room was the casket with tons of bouquets surrounding it. The casket was open for us to see my dad. I walked over and there he was. His eye's were closed and one hand was placed over the other. He looked like he was sleeping. I touched his hands and held them, and they were so cold. My mom came up on my left and Seth was on my right. Charlie stood beside my mom. "Harry this can't be real." my mom started to cry and turned to Charlie and leaned against him. He comforted her as best he could. I just stood there as Seth put an arm around my shoulder. Sharon came in, "I'm going to close the casket for the viewing hours." Seth and I stepped back. I watched as she closed it. She then showed us where to stand and receive our visitors. It was Charlie, my mom, myself, then Seth.

People started coming and so did the, "I'm so sorry for your loss." accompanied by a handshake. I forced a smile that was so fake it made my face hurt but I didn't let that show. Then Billy came with Jake. "How are you all doing?" Billy's face held the pain. He had lost a dear friend and basically a family member. "We're still in disbelief." my mom replied. Jake came up and gave me a hug and shook hands with Seth, "Guys I'm so sorry for your loss." Jake tried to smile. I just looked at the line that had formed.

People continued to shuffle through. This humming started in my head. Everyone's voices were just background noise to me. It seemed like I could hear everyone breathing, like they were right in my ear. Then Sam and Emily were in front of us, "Hey guys." Emily smiled sort of, "How are you doing?" She hugged Seth. I just shrugged. Emily whispered to Seth, "How's Leah doing?" he whispered back, "I think she's at most said 10 words. She isn't saying much." I could see the pain Emily felt for me. They went along and spoke to my mom and Charlie.

Finally everything wrapped up in the funeral home. Sharon came back in the room and looked between the four of us, "Would you like to see Harry, and your father one last time. It gives you a chance to say goodbye." she smiled. I snapped at her, "Get it right Sharon! It's see you later, not goodbye. Saying goodbye implies you won't ever see them again." My mom and Charlie's head whipped in my direction to look at me, and Seth's jaw dropped. "LEAH SKY CLEARWATER! Apologize right now!" my mom was fuming. She looked back at Sharon. "I'm so sorry about that." I looked right at Sharon and glared. "Well Leah." I walked right up to her. "I'm not sorry." I left them standing there and went outside and leaned against the truck. "Sharon please forgive my daughters rudeness. She's not typically like that." Sharon smiled, "Sue don't worry. I understand there's a lot of tension right now. I know she didn't mean it." she hugged my mom.

Sharon carefully moved the flowers away from the casket and opened it one last time. My mom placed her hand on my fathers. Charlie placed a hand on my mom's shoulder and spoke, "Harry I promise to take care of Sue and the kids." My mom smiled and spoke softly, "Harry I'm going to miss you so much. I will always love you. Until we meet again rest well." she carefully leaned over and kissed my father's forehead and then turned and walked out with Charlie. Seth walked over, "Dad I'm going to miss you. I love you." he leaned over and hugged my dad as best he could. I saw my mom and Charlie walking towards me and I headed back inside.

I walked over to the casket and Seth was still standing there. I held my dad's hand as best I could and smiled. I started to sing to him, "I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. Whenever one doors closes I hope one more opens. Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance. And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, Dance. I hope you dance." I trailed off. Seth gave me a huge hug. "I love you dad." I gently let go of my dad's hand and walked out with Seth. I let out a long sigh as we left. I turned to look back once and saw them close the casket and my heart sunk. I bit down on my lip so hard to fight back the tears. I walked out to the truck and climbed in and started it. Seth hopped into the passengers side. I started the truck and headed to the church.

Once we arrived at the church my nerves started. We were inside and I looked around and there was a large turnout here. Most of the people had come to the wake and were now here. Charlie escorted my mom down the main aisle to the pew we were sitting in. Seth and I followed in single file. Then the pack carried in my father's casket. Sam, Paul and Jacob were on one side. Jared, Quil, and Embry were on the other. They placed the casket in front of the alter and took their seats.

I kept my eyes focused on the casket. Seth took my hand and held it. I looked at him from the corner of my eye and smiled faintly. He returned the smile. The minister greeted us, "Welcome. We are gathered here today to remember Harry Clearwater. Harry left us unexpectedly on Thursday. Harry was a generous man who never said, "no" to anyone. He was very active in the community." The minister continued, "I would like to allow the family and friend to share their memories with you." he sat down.

My mom got up first to speak. She walked up to the microphone, "Where do I begin? Harry had a heart of gold. A smile that was contagious. A laugh you could hear for miles. He was my soulmate, my best friend and a wonderful husband and father. I can't tell you all the great things he did, or we'd be here forever. One thing Harry loved was wind chimes. When you hear a wind chime, that's him letting you know he's still here and checking in on you, and that he's ok." she smiled and sat down.

Charlie got up next and spoke, "Harry was a close friend of mine. I think of his family as my own. I came across this poem and it seemed to suit my friends memory." Charlie cleared his throat. "When I am gone, release me, let me go. I have so many things to see and do. You mustn't tie yourself to me with tears, be happy that we had so many years. I gave you my love. You can only guess how much you gave me in happiness. But now it's time I traveled on alone. So grieve awhile for me if you must, then let your grief be comforted by trust. It's only for a while we must part, so bless the memories within your heart. I won't be far away, for life goes on so if you need me, call and I will come. Though you can't see or touch me, I'll be near - and if you listen with your heart you'll hear all of my love around soft and clear. And then, when you must come this way alone I'll greet you with a smile and "Welcome Home." Charlie came and sat back down.

It was now my turn and Seth came up with me. My palms were sweating. Seth stood beside me and whispered, "Just breath and if you can't do it I can take over." I took a deep breath and started, "I sat there for a while not really sure what I was going to say. I can't tell you all the wonderful things my dad did. I'm going to share my memories with you. He was my idol, my best friend, but most of all my dad. I wanted to do everything like him. When I was scared, he made me feel safe. When I fell and got hurt, he made the pain go away. When there was a frown on my face, he made it disappear. When I needed a good laugh, he was right there. My dad always listened to my problems aka boy troubles." I smiled and people chuckled. I continued, "He always listened even if he was busy. He made time for you. He always kept a smile on his face. He'll always have a special place in my heart. Even thought he may not be here physically, he'll walk beside me in everything I do. Now I would like to leave you with my dad's favorite quote by Charles Dickens, "Have a hear that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts." I smiled and looked back at his casket.

My mom came back up and joined us. She spoke, "We would like to read one more poem together for all of you." I started,

"Don't grieve for me now I'm free!

I follow the path God laid for me.

I follow His face, I heard His call,

I took His hand and left it all.

Seth spoke next,

"I could not stay another day,

To love, to laugh, to work or play;

Tasks left undone must stay that way,

And If my parting has left a void,"

My mom spoke,

"Then fill it with the remembered joy.

A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss.

Ah yes, these things too, I shall miss.

My life's been full, I've savored so much:

Good times, good friends, a loved ones Touch.

Seth finished,

"Perhaps my time seemed all too brief

Don't shorten your's with undue grief.

Be not burdened with tears of sorrow.

Enjoy the sunshine of tomorrow."

We walked back to our seats and sat down quietly. The minister stood up and started speaking. I sat there again quietly. I leaned over and put my head on Seth's shoulder. He whispered, "Are you ok?" I whispered back, "I have a headache." I couldn't believe I was using Seth as my support. He was only 15. He was too young to have this happen to him.

I kept my eye's focused on the casket. Focusing helped me not to cry. Seth reached out for my right hand and I took held his my mom took my left hand. The organist walked over to the piano. This small woman who wasn't much older than me walked up to the microphone and the music started and she started to sing my dad's favorite song. My mom held Charlie's hand and looked up like she was talking to my dad. I closed my eyes fighting back the tears. There were some sniffles from the others in the crowd. Emily was crying and Sam tried to comfort her. The song finished and my mom gently squeezed my hand.

The minister stood up to give the final prayer. He walked over to my fathers casket and gently placed his hand on it then nodded to the pack. Sam, Jake, Embry, Quil, Paul and Jared stood up and each took their spots again and carefully carried my father out of the church and to the hearse. The minister walked behind them and we followed. As we left Amazing Grace was being played.I watched as they carefully placed him in the back and shut the door. The rest of the people exited and went to the parking lot and got in their cars. My mom and Charlie were the first in line then Seth and I. Then the others followed.

I drove quietly keeping my hands tightly gripped on the steering wheel. Seth looked out the window as we drove along. Charlie was driving and I could see my mom and Charlie talking. "How do you think Leah's really doing?" she asked. "She's putting on a brave face." Charlie spoke gently. My mom leaned her head on his shoulder, "I know she's hurting badly. Seth seems to be doing ok. I'm afraid she's going to hold it all in until it boils over." Charlie sighed, "Sue I will always be there for you and the kids." she smiled faintly.

We followed the hearse to the cemetery up the long drive way. There was a fresh dug out hole in the ground. My heart just sunk. I parked the truck and cut the engine. Seth was out of the truck and at my door and had it open. I pulled the keys out of the ignition and climbed out. Seth shut the door behind me. Several guys gently removed my father's casket from the hearse and placed it on these straps that were connected to these metals rods around the gravesite. On top of his casket were these beautiful flowers. The minister walked over to the grave site. Charlie and my mom joined us. Then Emily, Sam, Paul and Billy stood beside us. Jacob, Quil and Embry pulled up and joined. Then the others gathered behind us.

The minister spoke, "It's at this time the Harry has reached his finally resting place. God has taken Harry home and to be among the angels. God will welcome him with open arms. Now let us pray. I will read from Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh to me lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul, he leadeth me beside still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thous prepares a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anoints my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen." The minister picked up his head and looked at everyone.

"Please let's take a moment for one last prayer." Everyone bowed their head and closed their eyes. Then the minister started to speak. and everyone followed.

"Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power and the glory forever. Amen."

Everyone picked up their heads. My mom stood strong and a few tears slid down her cheek. Everyone walked over and placed a single white rose on his casket. Then Billy cleared his throat and spoke.

"Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on the snow,

I am the sun on a ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the mornings hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die. "

Billy tried to smile, you could see his eyes were red. Everyone said their goodbyes to my dad and made their way back to their cars. The pack stood there with us. I just stayed quiet. Embry, Quil, and Jacob gave my mom a huge hug. "I'm truly sorry for your loss Mrs. Clearwater." my mom nodded. The boys got back into Jake's rabbit and headed back to my house. Charlie was busy helping Billy back to my mom's car, my mom stood in between us holding our hands. "Harry sweet dreams." my mom said, then she turned and went back to the car and I could hear her starting to cry. Charlie helped Billy into the front seat and my mom climbed in back. Charlie put Billy's wheel chair in the trunk.

I stood there with Seth, Sam and Emily. I could feel my whole body tense up. I felt it rip through my body. This loud howl and I started sobbing. I dropped to the ground on my knees. "This isn't fare. You're supposed to be alive. You're supposed to walk me down the aisle one day." I just kept sobbing. Seth kneeled down beside me. "Shh Leah." as he held onto me. Slowly he brought me to my feet and got me back into the truck. "Are you going to let her drive?" Emily asked Sam. "I'm going to drive them home. I will meet you there." Sam kissed Emily gently and climbed in the drivers seat. I watched as we pulled away from my dad's grave. The silence was deafening in the truck on the drive home.

We pulled in the driveway behind my mom's car. I was out of the truck, "Leah, wait up." Sam called out. I went inside to my room and flung the door shut. "Leah's, home." Jacob informed everyone. I changed out of the dress and threw it in the bottom of my closet. I kicked the shoes across my room. I grabbed a tank top, sweatshirt and a pair of pajama bottoms and got dressed. I flopped down on my bed and buried my face in my pillow and started to cry.

"What's wrong with Leah?" my mom asked. "She lost it at the cemetery. She just broke down and started crying. I drove her and Seth home." Sam said undoing his tie and pulling it off. My mom just nodded. "Thank you hun." she smiled. "We're all still in disbelief and she's taking it really hard. She's in shock." Billy spoke. "I will go check on her." Charlie said and left the kitchen. He quietly opened my door and came in. I had fallen asleep. He covered me up and walked back out shutting the door. "She's sound asleep. I covered her up." My mom smiled, "Thank you for everything all of you have done." Everyone sort of smiled.

As the day drew towards the end everyone slowly headed home. Emily and Sam were the last to leave. Charlie dropped off Billy on his way home. My mom changed out of her clothes into her pajama's and crawled into bed and picked up her book and started reading. Seth was still lounging around in his suit lying on the couch watching TV. I tossed and turned as I slept. Then the phone rang. "Hello," My mom answered it. "Sue I can't find Bella. I came home to a note that said,

_Dad,_

_I'm with Alice. Edward's in trouble. You can ground me when I get back. I know it's a bad time. So Sorry._

_Love you so much. Bella._

I called Jacob and he said he thought she may be in trouble. I am not sure what to do." she sighed and was worried about Charlie now. "Well I guess just stay by the phone and see if you can somehow get hold of the Cullen's and see if they know anything." Charlie went quiet. "I will try that. I will talk to you later. If you hear anything on the reservation…" she cut him off, "Charlie I will call you. Now please get some rest. Everything will turn out to be ok." She hung the up phone.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 ~ The Confesion**

The next day I woke up and walked out to the kitchen, "Good morning sweetie. How'd you sleep?" my mom asked. I just shrugged. Seth came out and poured a glass of orange juice. "So any word on Charlie's daughter, Bella?" he asked sitting down at the table. I raised an eyebrow, "Wait, what happened to Charlie's daughter?" My mom turned so she could look at both of us, "Well Charlie called me last night rather worried. Bella left him a note and took off. Jacob thought she maybe in trouble." I was a little taken back. "Tell him I'm sorry and, I hope she comes home soon." I hugged my mom and walked out to the living room and, slipped out the front door.

I walked down to the beach. I just needed to be alone. I sat quietly in the sand looking off at the ocean. I still had no idea what caused me to turn into a wolf. Sam appeared out of no where, "Why are you here? Wait, how did you know I was here?" Sam took a deep breath and sat down beside me. He kept his knee's bent leaning forward resting his arms on them. I sat there with my legs crossed laying back on my elbows, keeping myself propped up. He spoke slowly staring off at the water, "I need to talk to you. I saw you from the cliffs, that's how I knew you were here." I rolled my eyes, "What did my mom or Billy send you to spy on me?" I spoke with a rather sharp tone to my voice. He shook his head, "I was on..." he stopped and sat motionless. "Listen I know you phased. Yesterday before the funeral, well the pack could hear your thoughts, and so could I. It's not safe for you to be alone in the woods." I couldn't believe him, he was telling me what was safe for me to do and not do. "Le-Le calm down." he censed my body tighten up. That pissed me off, "Who the hell do you think you are Sam. You don't nor will you tell we what's safe for me to do. I'm a grown woman. Don't call me Le-Le! You lost that chance once you ran to Emily." I got to my feet and started to walk away. Sam quickly followed and grabbed my arm. "Your not going into those woods." and he pointed. I snarled at him, "Don't touch me. Sound familiar." I looked into his eyes and saw the pain, then yanked my arm away and took back to walking.

"You phased because of vampires." Sam called out. I stopped and didn't look back at him, I waited to see what else he had to say. When he didn't say anything I turned around, "Vampires. You've got to be kidding me." He shook his head, "No Leah, I'm serious. The Cullen's are vampires or as we call them "Cold Ones." He looked at me with pleading eyes, "You've got to trust me. Charlie's daughter Bella, she's friends with the family. Well Jacob has informed us she took off with one of them, her name is Alice, Alice Cullen." I looked at him, "Is there anything else you would like to share with me?" I asked with a sarcastic tone. "There is a vampire. A red headed woman after Bella. Jacob informed us her name is Victoria. She's after Bella because the Cullen's, or I should say one of them killed her mate." I remembered the day in the woods when the fire flew past me. That must have been what knocked me to the ground. Sam looked at me, "What's wrong Leah?" I must have let my face give it away. "Between us, well a few days ago before all of this happened, I was in the woods near my house." I paused for a second, "There was something that looked like fire that knocked me to the ground. It was there and gone within a second. I'm not crazy." I just looked at him. "You saw her then." was all he said.

We walked together for a little bit "Your a shape shifter, so is Seth. As you know we're wolves. When you turn from human to wolf or vice versa it's referred to as phasing. When we're in our wolf form it's to protect our lands, the reservation and the Quilete people. The Cullen's made a treaty with Ephriam Black and as long as they don't bite a human we won't expose them. They are not allowed to hunt on our lands, and they can't pass our treaty line." Sam stopped and looked at me, "There's also something else," I raised an eyebrow looking at him. "You and your brother are part of my pack." I felt myself tense up. "What does that mean Sam?" He continued, "That means you take orders from me when we are in wolf form. I'm the alpha of the pack." I glared at him, "So alpha, anything else you'd care to spring on me." I spoke with a sarcastic tone. "Yes one more thing. As long as we phase, we age at a much slower rate. Our bodies sort of freeze for a couple of years then we age a little." he just looked at me. I looked back at him and then I asked, "Wait you said we don't age and our bodies go through a freeze." I was a little confused and then it dawned on me and, Sam's eyes connected with mine. "Wait does that mean," I stopped short. "Leah I'm sorry you can't have children. Billy thought it best I break it to you." My heart sunk and my gaze broke away as I turned and walked back towards my house.

When I arrived home Charlie's cruiser was in the driveway. I opened the front door and walked in. My mom and Charlie were sitting in the living room talking. "Hi sweetie." my mom smiled. I was in a fog, "Huh, oh hi." I just nodded a little. "If anyone is looking for me I'm not home and you haven't seen me ok. If Sam calls well, I don't care tell him to leave me alone." I went to my room and shut the door. "What was that all about? She was out of it." Charlie asked concerned. "I have no idea." my mom said shrugging her shoulders. "She and Sam were dating a few years ago but they broke up. Ever since then she's held this grudge against him and my niece Emily. Sam broke up with Leah and now he's engaged to Emily. This was several years ago." Charlie nodded, "That's gotta be tough on Leah though. Seeing them together would bother me if I were her." My mom nodded, "Yep."

Seth knocked on my door, "Can I come in?" I opened the door and laid back down on my bed. He came and sat down on the floor beside my bed. "What's wrong sis? I heard you talking to mom." I felt a tear slip down my cheek. Seth noticed that. "Hey let's go down to the beach and we can talk a little more privately." he nodded his head towards the door. I sat up and wiped away the single tear that streamed down my cheek. We walked out to the living room and headed for the door. "Leah and I are going to the beach for a little bit. We'll be back in time for dinner." Seth hugged my mom and we were out the door and on our way.

We arrived at the beach and it was quiet. We found a quiet place to sit, "So what's going on with you and Sam?" Seth asked. I took a deep breath and spoke slowly, "Well he told me about the cold ones and use being wolves. I guess we phase to protect our land. He said the Cullen's are vampires. I guess Charlie's daughter is friends with them. Now Bella took off with one of them named Alice. Then there's some red headed vampire named Victoria after Bella." I just shook my head. "Ok. So did he tell you anything else?" I felt the tears building up, "I guess we don't age as fast as normal humans do. Our bodies freeze for a couple of years and then we age a little but," I stopped. "But what?" he asked curious now. "Well the freezing process of our bodies and us not aging well, I can't have children." The tears started to slide down my cheeks. "Leah I'm so sorry." Seth hugged me. "I can't have children. I lost the love of my life, and now dad is gone. I don't think I can take much more. Plus our thoughts aren't safe when we're in wolf form with the rest of the pack. There is like this wolf telepathy." Seth sighed. "Leah we'll get through this. I will be here for you." He just kept his arm around my shoulder.

We just sat there quietly for the rest of the afternoon. We headed home after the sun started to set. In the driveway was Emily's car parked beside Charlie's cruiser. "Leah please do't kill Sam. Mom can't handle the clean up of that mess, plus Charlie doesn't have his handcuffs." Seth smirked and I laughed. "But Seth." I smiled and we walked in the house.

"Kids are home." Charlie informed. They were all in between the kitchen and dining room. Emily was in the dining room with Sam setting the table. Charlie was put on stirring duty. My mom knew Charlie's cooking abilities and well, she liked her kitchen in one piece and attached tot he house. "So are you trying to get back into your routine?" Charlie asked my mom. "Yeah, I'm hoping it will help the kids transition a little easier. I don't want them to think I don't care. It's too hard to think about, him being gone." She turned off the stove and started putting the food onto serving dishes. Sam and Emily grabbed the dishes and placed them carefully on the table. "Dinners ready." Emily called and I rolled my eyes. Seth nudged me lightly, "Be nice even if it kills you." I smiled at Seth, "Fine."

Seth and I sat down. Emily and Sam at across from us. Sam was directly across from me. My mom sat in her usual seat and Charlie took my dad's old seat. "Dig in." my mom said. Seth was the first at the food. "A little hungry there!" Charlie smirked. "Yeah I'm starved." Seth smiled. I took some food and ate quietly. "So Leah what did you and Seth do today." Charlie asked and I shrugged. "Nothing really. We went down to the beach and talked for a little bit." I looked at Sam and made direct eye contact with him. "Sounds like you guys had a relaxing afternoon." Charlie replied. "Oh we did. I got a lot off my chest." I kept looking at Sam and he cleared his throat, "Sue this is delicious. Thank you for inviting us over." he smiled. I finished eating and brought my plate to the sink and headed into my room. "She ok?" Charlie asked. "She's still not herself since everything happened." my mom smiled softly.

Once I was safely in my room I looked at myself in the mirror. My long shiny black hair fell over my shoulders half way down my back. The scissors were sitting there on my desk. It was like they were screaming my name. I felt as though if my life was going to be different so shall I. I grabbed the scissors and slowly started cutting. My hair fell almost in slow motion to the floor beneath my feet. I watched as it disappeared. I finished cutting it and it was now just about my shoulders. It wasn't even but I liked how it looked. I looked different to accompany how I now felt. DIFFERENT!

There was a gentle knock on my door. "Leah can I come in?" Emily was outside my door. I hesitated to respond, "What do you want?" I snapped back. "I just wanted to see how you were doing, I was worried about you." she sounded so sweet. I sighed and turned the door knob letting the door open partially. She walked in and saw me and gasped. Her hands covered her mouth, "Leah what did you do to your hair?" She walked over and touched my now short hair. "I have a new life now, so I needed a new look." I just looked in the mirror as she touched it. "Oh Leah. What's your mom going to say?" she was in disbelief. "Doesn't matter what she says. It's my hair and my body." I bent down and picked the hair up off the floor and threw it in the trash can. I looked back at her and where she was standing. "Girls desert." Sam called out. I flashed a sarcastic smile, "Well there's our cue. Now to see what the other's say." I turned and walked back out to the dining room.

I sat down at the table and Seth's eyes just about popped out of his head. Charlie choked on his coffee. My mom's jaw dropped and Sam just stared at me in disbelief. "Leah, your...what happened to your hair?" my mom got up and walked over and touched my hair. "I cut it off. My hair, my body. I don't care if you don't like it. I do." Emily sat back down beside Sam and whispered to him, "She's not acting like herself." Sam just nodded a little acknowledging Emily. "Leah," my mom tried to speak and I cut her off. "Listen I don't wanna hear it." I pushed away from the table. My mom stood there, "Excuse me mom." I looked at her. "Where are you going. We have company and we're about to have our desert." I tilted my head and looked into her eyes. "They're YOUR company not mine. You're about to have desert I'm leaving." I moved around her and walked through the living room and opened the front door and left letting it slam behind me.

"What the hell is going on with her?" my mom was so hurt. Charlie walked over to my mom and put an arm around her. "She's going through a lot right now." Emily spoke softly. "I will go check on her if you would like." Sam offered. "That would be nice if you could." Charlie spoke to Sam. Sam stood up and left the table and Emily followed. Seth sat quietly and worked on his desert. "Charlie I don't know what I'm going to do with her. Now that Harry's gone." she watched the door as Sam and Emily left. "Shh, Sue we'll get through this. I promise I will be here as much as possible to help." he just gave her a hug. "Thank you Charlie." and she smiled faintly.

I had walked down to the beach and was walking along the shore line. "Leah, I know your out here." Sam called out. It was dark and the moon was illuminating the water. I stopped and Sam and Emily walked over to me. "Talk to us. What's going on?" Sam spoke with the voice that used to make me feel so safe. Now it was the voice that killed me because he wasn't mine. Emily stood beside him. "What's there to tell you Sam. You know what's going on. Your the alpha. Your the one running the show." I spoke sarcastically. "Leah stay calm and talk to me." he looked at me with those warm eyes that showed he still cared. "You wanna know what's wrong. I am the reason my father's dead. I am a freak. My whole life has been uprooted. My plans for my future are down the drain now. My life is ruined." I spoke through gritted teeth. "Leah it's not your fault your dad died. He had a weak heart. You can't blame yourself." I clenched my teeth and you could hear it because Emily cringed a little. I held back the tears. "Your not a freak. You should think of it as an, honor. Your protecting your people and your lands." he was trying to reassure me. "Sam that's a load of crap. Don't try and make me feel better about this. I am a mutant. I turned into a wolf, a giant wolf. That may work for you and Emily, but there's nobody out there for me. Nobody want's to be with a girl who turns into that." my breathing started picking up and my heart rate sped up a little. "Leah stay calm." Sam kept a steady tone with me. "You know what, I can't have kids now. The one thing I wanted in life, to have a family. I dreamed of having one with you one day. But it will never happen! Neither of them. No more us and no kids." Emily looked down. I felt bad at the moment. I knew I said the wrong thing. Sam sighed and I started to sob my chest rose and fell faster now. The tears fell and so did I. I was on the sand on my knee's sobbing. "It's not fare." Sam sighed. Emily came and was beside me rubbing my back and holding me. "Leah I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you." I let the anger leave me and leaned my head against her.

We were there for a while. Sam finally spoke, "Leah I need to explain something to you.

I never meant to hurt you. I loved you and cared about you but, you weren't the one." I just listened. "I imprinted on Emily." I spoke softly, "Imprinted, what's that?" Sam looked at Emily and then looked at me and spoke softly. "It's when a shapeshifter finds the one they are meant to be with. Their soulmate." I looked at him and realized what he was saying. "Once you imprint you can't stay away from the object of your imprint. Mine ordered me away and I tried to stay away but I couldn't. It almost killed me too." He smiled at Emily, and then it clicked. "Oh my god. You imprinted on Emily." I sat there in shock. Sam nodded. Emily spoke softly, "Leah I'm so sorry. When it first happened I ordered him to come back to you but he wouldn't. He didn't want to lead you on and hurt you more than he already had." I just sat there taking it all in. "So you didn't want to break up with me, you had to." Sam nodded slowly. "I'm going to let you two talk." Emily smiled and got up and left us to talk.

Sam took her place beside me, "Leah I never stopped loving you." He gently touched my hand and my heart started to race then sunk. "I still," I stopped short. Sam looked at me and knew what I was going to say. I felt the tears build up. "Leah I know you still love me. I can just tell. I'm so sorry I can't be with you. If I had never phased this wouldn't have happened." I looked at him and started thinking. "Wait when you disappeared when we were together." He cut me off and nodded. "I'd phased and was hiding in the woods as a wolf. I thought I had gone crazy. It took me two weeks to phase back to human." I looked at him, "The whole town was looking for you. I asked you what happened and you never told me. Now I find out because I'm part of your crappy little pack." He looked at me, "Leah I couldn't tell you. I was sworn to secrecy." I looked at him, "You told Emily everything. You couldn't come clean to me." He straightened up, "Leah I had to tell her I imprinted on the girl." I became infuriated, "Damn you Sam. I sat there thinking I had done something wrong. I thought you just left and ran away. No you were off screwing my cousin. You jerk. I hate you. I gave you two things that meant something really special and what did you do, you used them. I hate you." I just yelled at him. It was out of pure frustration. I kept it all bottled up for so long. I couldn't stop myself. I yelled til' my voice was horse. Then I sat there afterwards feeling like a jerk. What had I done. I still loved him I was just angry at him. I didn't mean to say what I did. I started crying knowing what I said was wrong. It hurt me so bad. "Leah I loved you and still do but it's different now. I never used you. How could you think that. We were together and I was only with you because I loved you." I just got up and left him sitting there and took off running down the beach and phased into wolf and disappeared into the woods. "Dammit." Sam punched the sand beside him and went back to the house.

He walked inside alone. Charlie, Emily and my mom looked up at him. "Where's Leah?" my mom asked. "Sue she took off into the woods. I couldn't stop her. She's upset." Sam said with a pained look to his eyes. "Oh no." Emily said. Sam nodded. "Should we try and find her?" Charlie asked. "Let's give it an hour. If she doesn't come back then we go look for her." my mom said. The others nodded. "Sue I'm sorry. We were talking and everything was fine and," My mom smiled, "Sam it's ok I understand." They sat there waiting watching the time tick by.

Meanwhile I was in the woods and I phased back to human. I found the pile of clothes I had shoved in a bag. I stuffed the bag in a tree trunk that had a hole just big enough to hold it. It held a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt and flip flops. I got dressed quietly and shoved the bag back in the trunk. I walked quietly crying and feeling the tears stream down my warm cheeks. "I didn't do anything to deserve this." I sat down against a tree trunk and leaned back and dozed off. The sun had set and it was dark and damp. The air was getting colder now. "Well it's been an hour we need to see if we can find her." Charlie stood up, "Sam and I will go look for her. Sue and Emily stay here and wait for her." My mom nodded and watched as they left.

"I didn't mean to get her so angry." Sam spoke to Charlie. "She's an emotional roller coaster right now." Charlie replied as they walked through the woods. Then it started to rain lightly. "Leah." Charlie called out. I tried to open my heavy eyes and look around. "Charlie over this way. She took off into this section." Sam called over his shoulder. Charlie spotted me and scooped me up, "Leah are you ok?" I just looked at Charlie with red eyes. "Come on sweetie let's get you home." He carried me back to the house and set me down on my bed. Sam stayed out in the living room. "Leah are you ok?" my mom came in and felt my forehead and took my pulse. "Well your vitals are good. Change into your pj's and lay down." she kissed the top of my head and left with Charlie. I did as she instructed.

Charlie said goodbye and headed home. Emily and Sam hung around for a bit. "So what happened." my mom asked. "I explained to her that I imprinted on Emily and she was ok with it. Then she just lost her cool." Sam looked at mom. "Nothing else happened." she questioned and he shook his head. "She's resting now. I will call you in the morning if anything happens. Have a good night." She shut the door behind Sam and Emily. She shut off the lights in the house and came into my room. "Leah are you awake?" I had fallen asleep. She pulled the covers over me and kissed my forehead. "Goodnight sweetie. Sweet dreams and I love you."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 ~ Huge changes, and big mistakes.

A couple of days passed and the phone rang and my mom answered it, "Hello."

Charlie's voice was on the other end, "Hi Sue. I have great news. Bella's back home." My mom smiled, "Charlie I'm so happy to hear that. So what exactly happened?" my mom was curious. "Well Bella went was trying to stop Edward Cullen. She was cliff diving the day of Harry's funeral. I guess someone thought she was trying to kill herself. Word got to him and," he was at a loss for words. "Sue I asked her if she was trying to kill herself. She said no. Was it wrong of me to ask?" Charlie waited for a response. "No Charlie, your her father. You needed answers. She's ok though right?" my mom asked being the caring friend. "Yeah. How's Leah doing?" he asked. My mom sighed, "She's ok. She's been quiet and doing a lot of reading. She's going through a major change in her life." Charlie spoke, "Well Sue I'm always here if you need me. I will call you later. I will try and stop by in a few days." My mom smiled, "Ok. Bye Charlie." she hung up and leaned against the kitchen counter.

Seth walked out into the kitchen, "Hi mom. What's for breakfast?" My mom smirked, "Food is always on your mind now. What would you like?" she asked hugging Seth. "Hmmm, I want eggs, doesn't matter what kind, bacon and some toast, oh and pancakes." My mom rolled her eyes and shook her head, "Will that fill you up until dinner?" she smirked. Seth confidently shook his head, "Nope I may just make it until lunch." he laughed. She nodded, "Ok Seth." and turned and started making breakfast for him. Meanwhile I sat hunched over a book at my desk that my dad had. I casually flipped through the pages when it stood out QUILEUTE. I decided to read it and see what I could find out.

QUILEUTE

Quileute legend has it that the first tribal members were transformed from wolves by a supernatural being. Perhaps among the most ancient of the region's tribes, the Quileute lived on the lower Quillayute River in present-day north-western Washington State. They were one of the only three groups who spoke Chimakuan, or Chimakum, language. The other two tribes, the Chimakum proper inland to the Quileute's east and the Hoh to the south along the Hoh River, may have been subdivisions of the Quileute. The meaning of thename_ Quileute_, also spelled_ Quillayute _and pronounced quill-uh-OOT, is not known; it was also a village name. Neighbors included the MAKAH to the north, the QUINAULT to the south, and the Clallam (or Klallam) to the west.

I finished reading the history and thought, "Wait a second, Embry's mom was from the Makah reservation." I didn't put much thought into it. Just thought it was interesting. I poked through the rest of the book then decided to get dressed. I grabbed the book and put if on the bookcase. I made my way into the kitchen. "Hi sweetie. How are you?" my mom asked smiling. I smiled back, "Good was doing some reading." She raised an eyebrow at me, "What were you reading?" I sat down at the table, "It really wasn't anything. I was just reading about the tribes history." I looked up at her. She looked back at me, "So you reading about what exactly?" She was trying to get me to "It just told how legend had it we transformed from wolves. I just read about the surrounding tribes. Why?" I was curious to see what she was getting at it. She sat down and looked at me. "Leah your father and I knew the stories weren't legends. We knew your brother was going to phase at some point. I'm so sorry, we never knew you would phase." I just looked at her then decided to ask, "Did dad ever phase?" She shook her head, "No. See the Cullen's didn't live here while your father and I were growing up. The first time they came here was when Jacob's great-grandfather was chief. They made the treaty which we follow still. They left for a while and returned in 2003." she stopped for a moment and then looked back up at me. "Sam was the first to phase when they returned." I looked at her, "So Sam's phasing was caused by the Cullen family returning?" My mom slowly nodded, "I didn't know right away. Your father, Billy and Old Quil helped him. Old Quil went to visit Sam's mom and he shook Sam's hand and felt the extreme warmth and knew the fever was setting in, and he was going to change." she smiled at me a little. I just sat there for a moment taking it all in. "I just don't understand, why me? I wanted a family with kids. It was supposed to all go so differently." I felt a tear slide down my cheek. "Oh Leah. You can still have a family hun. The pack is like family. You'll be able to get married. You could adopt and if you stop phasing you'll start aging again." she came over and squeezed me. "It's not the same." I said and wiped the tear off my cheek.

I stood up and turned around and hugged her so tightly. "I love you mom." She smiled and hugged me back, "I love you too Leah." I slowly let go. "Listen I need to go to town for a little bit if you care to join me." she smiled hoping I would say yes. I felt like staying home but I said, "Sure, I'll tag along I need to get a few things while we're in town." she smiled. "Great I will get my list together. Go get ready." I smiled and took off into my room and grabbing my towels and took a quick shower and got dressed. I realized I could so easily wear shorts and a tank top but I needed to blend in amongst the humans. I was human but I was also a shapeshifter, and we needed to keep our secret. I threw on a white t-shirt, my favorite jeans that looked like they had survived a an attack, my pink sweatshirt and my sneakers. I walked back out to find my mom waiting by the front door, keys in hand. "Let's go." she smiled and I faked one back.

We were outside and in her car before I knew. She turned on the radio and The Beatles came on and, "Hey Jude" played. My mom sang along I sat and listened looking out the window. I just zoned out watching as things became a blur. "Leah. Leah we're here." my mom smiled and grabbed her purse, and pulled the keys from the ignition and was out of the car. I climbed out and shut the door behind me. I looked around. Forks didn't have a lot but enough to survive. "So do you want to just poke around on your own? That's fine with me if you do." she smiled. "I want to venture off to a store. I will meet up with you." I looked at her. "Ok sweetie." she hugged me and disappeared. I took off for the small book store in town.

I found the book store and walked in, "Hello there." a round faced woman, with brown wavy hair that came to about her shoulders smiled at me. "If you need help finding anything please let me know." I smiled and poked around within the shelves. Finally I found a small section labeled Native American. I ran my finger along the bindings of the books until it stuck out Quileute Folk Lore and Legends. I pulled it out and sat down on the floor, leaning against he bookcase. I read for a little bit then came across a short folklore, "It happened long ago that Q'waeti' journeyed all over the land setting the people aright and instructing the people that would come in the future how they should act. Q'waeti' instructed the people how to build houses.

One day Q'waeti' came upon Beaver. Beaver was sharpening his stone knife, and Beaver was very stingy. Q'waeti' asked what was Beaver doing. Whereupon Beaver said: "I am sharpening my knife in order to kill Q'waeti'," said Beaver. Then Q'waeti' took what Beaver was sharpening and stuck it on Beaver's tail. Then he said: "You shall always have this stuck to your tail, and live in the water. You will just slap the water with your tail and dive when the people come."

Then one day he came upon Deer. Deer was sharpening his shell knife. Thereupon Q'waeti' asked Deer what was he sharpening it for. Whereupon Deer said: "I am going to kill Q'waeti'," said Deer. Then Q'waeti' seized the shell that Deer was sharpening. Then he stuck it on Deer's ears. He said "When you see people you shall run frightened and stop, and look back." Then Q'waeti' went on his way.

Not long afterward he reached Q'wayi't'soxk'a River. But he did not find any people. Then Q'waeti' spit on his hands and rubbed them. Doing this he rubbed off the human dead skin into the water. Thereupon many people appeared. Then Q'waeti' said to the people whom he had made: "You shall dwell here," said Q'waeti'. "Your name shall be Q'wayi't'sox (Queets.)"

Then Q'waeti' reached the Hoh people. He saw that these people walked on their hands carrying their smelt nets between their legs. At that time all the Hoh people walked on their hands. They were called the Up-side-down people. Since that time the Up-side-down people were known as the first people who had existed. Then Q'waeti' turned right side up the ones who walked on their hands. "You shall use your feet to walk," said Q'waeti' to the former Up-side-down people. "Go and fish smelt. You shall catch much fish when you fish smelt." Ever since then there is much smelt at Hoh.

Then Q'waeti' went on and reached the Quileute land. He saw two wolves. There were no people here. Then Q'waeti' transformed the wolved into people. Then he instructed the people saying: "The common man will have only one wife. Only a chief may have four or eight wives. For this reason you Quileute shall be brave, because you come from wolves," said Q'waeti'. "In every manner you shall be strong."

Then Q'waeti' reached the Ozette people (Makah.) There he saw two dogs. Then he transformed the dogs into people. Then Q'waeti' gave instructions to the people how to search around the rocks for devil-fish, and to get all kinds of sea food. Then Q'waeti' went on.

Then he came to the Neah people. He saw many people. The people did not know how to fish. So, the Neah people were hungry, about to perish. Then Q'waeti' instructed one person how they should fish. Q'waeti' instructed them how to troll when trying to fish. Ever since then there is much fish in Neah Bay. When Q'waeti' finished he said that there would be much fish at Neah Bay.

Then Q'waeti' went on setting aright and creating people, going around the land, and instructing them in what they should do in order to subsist."

I finished the story and closed the book. The woman was right there squatting in front of me, "Jesus." I yelled. "Oh did I scare you? I'm sorry. You were so quiet I didn't even know you were here." she smiled and I rolled my eyes. "Yes you did scare me. Now would you like an award?" I spoke in a sarcastic tone. She laughed. I looked at her, "Now if you don't mind. I would like to get off this floor, and pay for my book." I looked at her, and she stood back up. She quickly moved and was behind the counter at the register. I walked over to the counter setting the book down carefully. I rummaged through my bag trying to find my wallet. "Oh Quileute Folk Lore and Legends. So you believe in this stuff?" she smiled over in enthusiastically. I shrugged, "I don't know. Do you?" I wanted to see her response. "I don't know. I often think there is magic out there. You know like the Native American's speak about." she smiled innocently, "I wonder if there are magical creatures like humans that can shape shift into birds, bears, and even wolves." She looked up at me smiling. I clenched my teeth together and tried to force a smile, "I grew up hearing the scary stories. I was raised in La Push." I kept my eyes on the book. "Do you believe in Vampires?" the girl asked. I made eye contact with her, "I don't know. Why do you ask?" she giggled which was annoying, "I was just curious. I don't thing they are real. How could they hide amongst humans. Plus people would notice if people were disappearing right?" I felt my body tremble a little because I was becoming aggravated with the naive girl. "Your total is $13.95." she smiled at me. I handed her the money and grabbed my book. "Have a good day." she said in an all too bubbly voice. I mumbled as I quickly left, "Yep you too."

I got outside and told myself to relax and the trembling stopped. Then a hand gently touched my shoulder and I near jumped out of my skin. I whipped around to see Charlie, "Hey sorry didn't mean to scare you." he smiled. "Um...hi Charlie. What are you doing here." he pointed to his jacket with the gold badge sitting on the left side of his chest. I nodded, "Working. Fun." he nodded, "So your mom is in town and she wanted to get lunch." I smiled, "Can't wait." meanwhile in my head I was dreading spending time with the two of them. "Ah here she is." he smiled and I turned to see my mom. Her once beautiful silky long black hair was now short, it was short like mine. My jaw dropped, "Mom your hair." she smiled. "Thought I would join the crowd. Do you like it?" Charlie nodded, "Sue it looks great." she then looked at me, "I like it." I felt myself become nauseated. "So lunch it is then." Charlie wanted to get moving. I walked behind them as they talked.

The sign read Forks Coffee Shop, "Here we are." Charlie opened the door and held it and we walked in. "Hi Chief Swan. How are you doing today?" an older woman called from behind the counter, "Hi Rose. I would like you to meet my friend Sue Clearwater and her daughter Leah." Rose smiled and shook my mom's hand first then mine. Once she touched my hand she felt the warmth and pulled her hand back and looked at me, "Honey you feeling ok?" she looked at me. I quickly nodded. "Ok just checking. You felt mighty warm." We took a seat at a booth. Charlie and my mom sat across from me. We each grabbed a menu. I just skimmed over it not being that hungry. "So you folks know what you want?" Rose was standing there with a notepad in hand, "I'll have my usual Rose." Charlie smiled and put the menu back. "I would like a cheeseburger with, lettuce, tomato, and pickles on it." my mom smiled. Then Rose looked at me, "What can I get you sweetie," at that moment I felt like I was 5 again. "Can I just have a grilled cheese." she smiled, "I will be back with some coffee." I put my menu back along with my mom's. Then I leaned back against the wall putting my legs up on the bench. "Here's the coffee." Rose was back with a carafe and set down three mugs and some cream. "Thank you." my mom smiled. Rose was back behind the counter. "So what made you cut your hair Sue?" Charlie was curious. "I saw Leah's and thought it looked really good. I've had long hair since high school." she smiled at me. "Here's your food." Rose set down everyone's dishes. "Thank you Rose." Charlie said then started on his burger. I took a bite of my sandwich and then laid my head back. "Hey kiddo you ok there?" Charlie asked me. "Yeah. I will be right back I'm going to use the restroom." I slid off the bench and disappeared. "She's very quiet. Everything ok?" Charlie asked my mom. "She was quiet on the ride down." my mom told him. "Well I tapped her on the shoulder when I bumped into her outside the book store. She practically jumped out of her skin." I scared her and I didn't mean too." he took a sip of coffee. "She's been reading some of her father's book about the tribe." my mom told Charlie. "It's good she's learning about her roots." he smiled. Rose came over to check on the food. "How's everyone's food so far." she noticed I was gone. "Delicious, thank you." my mom said covering her mouth being polite. "What happened to your daughter?" she looked at the plate. "She had to use the ladies room." my mom took a sip of her coffee. "I don't think she's feeling too good. When I shook her hand, she was burning up. Her hand felt like it was on fire." Charlie looked at my mom. "I will check on her when she comes back." my mom smiled. "Ok. Can I get you folks anything else?" Rose asked. "Can I have the check please?" Charlie asked and she handed it too him. He pulled out some money and handed it to her. "Thanks Rose." She nodded, "Anytime Chief." I splashed some cool water on my face and walked back out. "Leah are you ok honey." my mom stood up and felt my forehead and looked at me. She knew why I was so warm. "Charlie she's got a fever." he slid off the bench and grabbed his jacket. "Ok let me walk you to your car." I leaned my head against my mom. I didn't really have a fever but I felt crummy. He walked us back to our car. I climbed in and laid my head back. "I will give you a call in a little bit to check on her." Charlie smiled at my mom. "Ok. Thank you again for lunch." she walked around and climbed in the drivers side and we were on our way.

"What's going on? You didn't touch your lunch." I shrugged, "I'm just really tired." She drove along, "That woman noticed your warmth. That's why I told Charlie you had a fever." Thankfully my mom could cover for me. "When we get home I'm going to lay down." she smiled, "That's fine. I need to do a few things around the house anyways." We pulled into the driveway and were out of the car and inside. It felt so nice to be home. I went to my room and laid down and fell asleep. I dreamed for a bit about the story I read. When I woke up it was already time for dinner. "Mom she's awake. The snoring stopped." Seth yelled. Great I was snoring guess I was really tired. I made my way to the kitchen yawning. "How was your nap?" my mom chuckled. "Good was I that loud?" I asked sitting down and she nodded. We had dinner and I returned to my bed and went back to sleep for the night.

I fell asleep rather quickly but my dreams kept my brain awake. The dreams just started and didn't stop. One of my dreams I was walking along the beach and I was pregnant. I was wearing a loose fitting white summer dress. It just barely touched the sand. My hair was long again and I was smiling. The air was warm and gently blew my hair. The sand was soft underneath my bare feet. I gently rubbed my stomach and spoke quietly. As I spoke it was the Quileute language coming out of my mouth. Then these warm safe arms embraced me from behind and gently placed their warm hands over mine, "Hello my love." I smiled, "Hello. Are you done patrolling for the day?" I was turned around and I was looking at Sam. His warm brown eyes melted my heart and my stomach filled with butterflies. Sam carefully placed his hand on my stomach, "How is my little angel doing?" A wide smile came across my face and I gently touched my stomach. I left my finger ever so lightly glide back and forth, "She's good. She's been very quiet today." He smiled and took my hand and we started walking again. The waves softly hit the shore and the whooshing sound was relaxing. A funny feeling took over my body. I stopped walking and held onto Sam. "Leah what's wrong." I cringed, "I don't know Sam." Then Emily was there. "Sam honey come here." Emily was standing on the beach pregnant. He let go of me and walked over to her. "Sam what about us, our child." They both looked at me. "What child are you talking about Leah. We had nothing together." I looked down and I was standing there in my jeans and a white t-shirt. My stomach was flat, my hair short. They walked off holding hands together. I startled awake panting and sweat covered my face. I sat up in bed and looked out the window the sun was just starting to rise.

I decided I need to clear my head. I got and took a shower and headed to the kitchen and poured myself a bowl of cereal. I slowly ate just looking out the window. There was a knock on the front door. I left my cereal and walked over and opened the door. "Hi Embry." he smiled. "Hey what's up?" I looked at him, "Not much on my end. Your here for some reason and let me guess a certain wolf scent you?" I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, sorry. Sam's holding a meeting. We all have to be there alpha's orders." I turned and headed back towards my breakfast, "You can come in." Embry smiled and walked in shutting the door behind him. I sat back down and looked at my cereal and pushed it away. It had become soggy and didn't hold my interest any longer. "So what's been going on with the pack?" I forced the enthusiasm and Embry laughed. "Not much Sam just having us constantly patrol for the red head." I just rolled my eyes, "Pompous." Embry smirked. "You and Sam don't get along huh?" I nodded, "He just aggravates me. So should we go meet the pack. What about Seth?" Embry shook his head, "Sam said to just have you come. He said Seth's to young to start." I huffed and headed for the door.

We got outside and were walking along. "So how much do you know about the tribes history?" I asked Embry. "Not a ton. I only know that my mom moved down from the Makah reservation when she was pregnant with me." I nodded a little, "I bought a book yesterday and it gave this folk tale of how some guy went along and changed animals into people or something like that. I'm just trying to find out more." Embry nodded slightly, "Sounds cool." We walked to the woods and met up with the others. Sam was there in the middle. On his left was Paul and Jared, on his right Jacob stood there. "Thank you for getting her Embry. Leah." Sam nodded. I didn't say anything. "So the Cullen's have returned." We stood there listening. "I don't know what's exactly going on with the red headed leech. Bella is continuing to hang around with the Cullen's when she can." You could see Jacob's teeth clench and his fist matched the move. "We're going to need to set up patrols. You'll be broken up into pairs, Jacob and Leah, Paul and Embry and Jared and I will how it is until further notice." I was so thankful I wasn't paired with Sam. I think if I was I might throw myself off the cliffs. We were dismissed and I headed towards the beach.

"Hey Leah wait up." Jacob called after me. That shocked me because Jacob was younger that me. "Hey Jake." He smiled, "So how do you do it?" he asked. "How do I do what?" I looked at him and then back towards the water as we walked. "How do you do it? Knowing the person you love, is with someone you don't think is right for them." I stopped and looked at him. "I don't do it. I make it well known that I don't like Sam nor do I care for Emily. I don't hold anything back. Sam takes the brunt of it." Jacob looked at me. "Oh I see." I could tell something was bothering him, "Spill it what's wrong?" I already knew what it was. "It pisses me off seeing her with that blood sucker. He up and leaves her. She goes back to him like nothing ever happened. She only considers us friends. After everything I went through with her." I put a hand on Jacobs shoulder. "If it's meant to be you'll know." I looked at him then this grin came across his face, "I need to get going I have to do something. Bye Leah." he took off sprinting. I walked back to my house.

I got back home and the house was quiet. I sat down in the living room and turned on the tv. I started watching a movie and got rather bored with it. I flipped through the channels til I came across Girl Interrupted. It was one of my favorite movies. I sat contently watching it. Then evening came and I made something light for dinner for myself. My mom and Seth weren't home. I enjoyed the alone time. Once I finished dinner and returned to my spot on the couch it was 8:45pm. I popped in Bell Book and Candle. It was an old movie but I loved it. I grew up watching it with my mom. The phone rang, "Hello." a very disappointed Jacob was on the other end, "Hey Leah, can I come over." That took me back, "Um yeah sure." his voice was upset, "Ok see you soon." I hung up and went back to watching my movie and then there was a knock on the door, "Come in." Jacob opened the door and came in and sat down on the couch with me. "Leah I screwed up big time." I shut off the tv, "How? Jacob I don't think you have that ability." He nodded, "I do. I thought the bloodsucker was keeping Bella from coming down here to La Push to see me. Her dad grounded her. I rebuilt these two motorcycles she had found. Charlie didn't want her riding and well I brought her bike over there tonight to get her in trouble. I was hoping the bike would get her grounded from seeing the leech." I listened, "Well she was already grounded and now I just made it even worse so I can't see her." I felt bad for him. "Jake I'm sorry." He shrugged and stood up, "I'm gonna get going. I will see you later." he opened the door and left. I went back to watching my movie and fell asleep on the couch.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14 ~ The journal and confession to Seth**

A couple of weeks passed, Jacob and I were on patrol. Jacob kept replaying what he tried to write to write to the leech lover.

Bella,

I don't know why you're making Charlie carry notes to Billy like we're in second grade - if I wanted to talk to you I would answer the

You made the choice here, okay?

You can't have it both ways, when

What part of 'mortal enemies' is too complicated for you to

Look, I know I'm being a jerk, but theres just no way around

We can't be friends when you're spending all your time with a bunch of

It just makes it worse when I think about you you too much, so don't write anymore

Yeah, I miss you too. A lot

Doesn't change anything sorry.

Jacob

My brain ached having heard this at least 100 times now, I'd lost count. "Jacob please stop. I can't take listening to it again. I don't understand, why don't you just answer the damn phone when she calls?" Jacob kept running, "Sorry Leah. It's not that easy to just say, "Hey Bells." I thought to myself, I would have said, "Hey leech lover." Jacob growled softly. "Relax Jacob." The growl disappeared, "I'm just so confused. I love her so much..." I cut him off, "But she loves the blood sucker." He growled in response to what I said. "She has to realize what a mistake she's making being with him." he said. I kept running, "Jake if it's what she want's, you can't interfere with it." I could sense the pain he was in, "She wants to become one of them. If she chose me she wouldn't have to," he stopped then it was whispered, "die." I felt bad for him. Bella was being so selfish. She didn't realize how much she was hurting Jacob. She didn't have to hear his thoughts, but I did. I kept running and we looped back when I heard Sam, "Leah, Jacob your all set to go home. Paul and Embry will take over." I didn't respond, "Ok Sam thank you." Jacob thought back. We walked into the woods and disappeared. We always left a set of clothes to change back into. Jacob phased back and threw on a pair of shorts. I phased back and put on a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt and met up with Jacob.

"Hey." Jacob smiled. I smiled back a little bit and felt my cheeks flush a little. "You ok there?" He grinned. "Yeah I'm fine." We started walking. "Thanks for listening to me vent. I really needed that." I smiled, "I understand where your coming from Jacob." He looked at me. "What?" I asked. He shrugged, "Nothing. Just something you said." Before I knew it we were at my house. "Well, here we are. I need to be getting home. Until tomorrow, sleep well and sweet dreams." he smiled. I just zoned out, "Thank you Sam." Jacob looked at me, "Uh, you mean Jake right?" I was so embarrassed, "Jake I'm so sorry. Thanks for walking me home." He nodded, "Anytime I just wanted to make sure you go home safely." I smiled faintly, "Thank you." I turned and headed inside. "Hi sweetie. How did things go?" my mom asked. "It was quiet. Jacob and I just talked. I will see you later I'm going to bed." I gave her a hug and went to bed.

I headed into my room and opened my journal I looked at the blank page. I wanted to write but something, but I couldn't seem to get anything out. Then it just flowed so effortlessly.

Well today was a rather uneventful day like always. I spent the afternoon and evening with Jacob just patrolling. There was this weird feeling that ran through my body when I was with Jacob. I can't quite place my finger on it. I hate hearing his thoughts. I know the pain he's going through. Your in love with someone who may love you back, but it's not the way you want them to. There's an anger in me towards Bella. She's crushing him. Sam did the same thing. I know he imprinted It's just hard seeing Emily and Sam so happy. Where's my happy life. The world I knew is falling down around me. I"m stuck being some wolf and protecting Charlie's daughter from a crazed vampire who is on a mission to kill her. It's not my problem. I don't care for the Cullen's. It's their fault I lost Sam. If they never came back, he wouldn't have phased and I'd still have him. If I hadn't phased my dad would be alive. Jacob would have Bella and things would be ok. It angers me that Bella is running around with vampires and putting everyone in danger. She's so selfish.

The journal was slammed shut and I threw the pen on the desk. I was so angry right now. I changed into some pajama's and laid on my bed and turned on some music. I cracked the window and let the cool night air take over my room. The next song came on, The Beatles - Eleanor Rigby. I just laid there listening to the music, "All the lonely people, where do they all come from? All the lonely people, where do they belong?" I kept replaying the chorus over and over. My eyes slowly shut and my breathing slowed to a more steady pace and I fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning and Seth was sitting at my desk. He was leaning back in the chair with his fingers interlaced. He was using his hands as a head support, "Finally your awake sleeping beauty. How you feeling?" I rubbed my eyes sitting up and yawning, "What time is it?" Seth smiled and handed me a tray that held a plate with eggs, bacon, and toast. "It's only 10:30am. Mom had to go out for a bit. She was going to meet up with Charlie for lunch. It's just sibling bonding time." he grinned. I looked at him, "That sounds like your up to something. What's going on?" Seth laughed, "Nah. I just haven't spent a lot of time with you since everything happened. I thought maybe we could do something fun." he smiled. "Ok you've got a deal. I'm your's all day." I quickly ate I was starving, "Ah I see you didn't taste the poison?" Seth chuckled. I finished eating and pretended to choke, "Oh no you've poisoned me. Why?" We were both laughing. He took the tray with the plate on it. "You know I made breakfast for you. Mom's been gone since about 8:00am." I was a little shocked, "Seth that was delicious. Thank you." I got up and grabbed my towels, "Take your shower, I'll wash up the dishes and then we'll go out." I smiled and headed for the bathroom. I turned on the water and climbed in. I just let the hot water run over my skin. I felt goosebumps all over my skin. My mind drifted off to the times when Sam and I were together. I remembered the good times we had. There was a light knock on the door, "You ok in there?" I shook my head, "Yeah sorry daydreaming." I finished my shower and shut the water off and dried off. I headed back to my room and shut the door. I quietly got dressed. I brushed my hair and sat down at my desk and opened the journal. I found the page I was so desperate to read. I turned on my cd player and put on Kissing You by Des'ree to read this section.

Well what do I say? I am at a loss for words. Today was AMAZING! Sam means the world to me. Well today he and I were together. I just blushed thinking about it. We we're just laying there on his bed and he leaned over and kissed me ever so gently. "Leah I love you." When he said it I think my heart melted. I said, "I love you to Sam." He shook his head. "No, Leah I love you. I want to be with you forever. I want to marry you one day and have children." I just glowed about the idea of us having children. I told him,"I love kids. I want at least 4."

He smiled and kissed me gently on the forehead. Nobody else was home. He rolled on top of me and leaned down kissing me with such passion. I returned the kiss running my fingers through his hair. He slowly slid his hand down my side to my thigh and gently squeezed it. My heart started to race. He sat up straddling me and took off his t-shirt and there was his perfectly sculpted body. His tan skin so perfect. He had no marks or flaws. He leaned down once more and started to kiss me. He kissed my lips and then slowly along my jaw line until he reached my neck. My breathing stuttered. He chuckled, "I think you liked that." I blushed. He kept kissing me while his hand worked its way to the buttons on my shirt. Slowly he unbuttoned every one until my shirt lay open. I carefully slipped my arms out of the sleeves and let it fall onto the floor. I laid there in my bra and jeans with Sam's warm body on top of me. "Are you ok my love?" He whispered in my ear. "Mmhm." Was all I could get out. His hands slowly played with the button on my pants. I whispered, "Go ahead." He carefully undid the button on my jeans and slid them off and let them hit the floor. He undid the button on his jeans and slid them off as well. He pulled the blankets over us as he climbed back on top of me. I was laying there in just my panties and bra. Sam was in a pair of boxers. I leaned up and kissed him and this time I kissed along his neck as his hands slowly slipped my bra strap off my shoulder. His hands carefully caressed my chest and I moaned a little in his ear. I heard a low deep chuckles come from him. Then my bra came off and his chest was against mine. His hot breath was on my neck again and my fingers returned to his hair yet again. He slowly pressed his body up against mine and I could feel everything. "Leah if your uncomfortable at all we can stop." He spoke softly. I let one of my hands slide his hand down to my thigh and he gentl massaged it. Goosebumps arose all over my body. He moaned softly as I took my hand back and ran my fingers gently up and down his back. He slowly kissed down from my neck over my chest down my stomach stopping just above my panties. I smiled and giggled a little. "Did my Leah just giggle?" he asked smiling and came back up kissing me softly on the lips. He slowly removed his boxers. He was laying there on top of me and it felt great. "I love you Sam." I said. "I love you too." he replied. My heart was on over drive. It seemed like it was about to pound out of my chest. Sam carefully slid my panties off and let them fall to the floor. "You sure?" he asked one more time. I pulled him down on top of me. I felt everything. He moved slowly making sure not to hurt me. I moaned softly and Sam did also. He looked into my eyesand smiled then leaned down to kiss me. He carefully moved gently holding both of my hands, and lacing his fingers with mine. There was a feeling of electricity between the two of us. The gentle movement continued. Then it happened. I had never felt such a rush in my life and I moaned and, bit down on my lip. I held onto him so tightly. Sam smiled and continued. He then leaned back still moving and then held onto my hips tightly. His head rolled back and he moaned, "Oh Leah." Afterwards he leaned down and kissed me then laid down beside me. We laid there for sometime afterwards. We held each other. It was euphoric. I had been with the one I was going to marry. I got dressed and so did Sam and he walked me home. He kissed me passionately. "Leah I love you and I can't wait until were together forever." He smiled. I kissed him back. "Me too baby." I headed inside and he went home.

I sat there for a few moments lost in remembering the good times we had. The song had ended and I felt like I was back at that time again. I shut off the cd. I turned on the radio to kill the silence in my room. No Sound But The Wind by The Editors came on. I flipped to the next journal entry and it had been several weeks since I had wrote anything. I started to read,

I don't know what to do. I'm so afraid to tell Sam. What if? I can't tell my parents. Oh god my hands are shaking and I'm crying. What if I am. We're not even married yet. Hold on I need to call him and tell him.

I picked up the phone and called Sam. "Hello." his warm soft voice answered. "H...h...hi." I was stuttering. "Leah, what's wrong?" I was terrified. "I...I...need to talk to you." He listened, "Ok go ahead. What's wrong baby?" The word struck a cord with me. "Sam, I'm late. I'm really scared." He inhaled, "How late are we talking?" My lip quivered, "Going on three weeks." He let out a long sigh, "Well we need to tell your mom at least. She's a nurse." I quickly replied, "No we can't, and I can't go to town and buy a test everyone know's my family." He sat quietly thinking, "We can go to Port Angeles and maybe go to a clinic there." I thought about it for the moment. "Ok sounds like a plan." I hung up the phone. I went back to writing.

Well I talked to Sam and told him. We're going to go up to Port Angeles and go to a clinic. I'm so scared. What will my family say. I think I'm going to bed now. Goodnight.

I stared at the page for a few moments remembering the fear that ran so rapid through my body. I continued onto the next journal entry.

Well we went to Port Angeles and they did a pregnancy test. I will call back in the morning for the results. Sam was really quiet on the whole ride. I asked him if he was ok and he just nodded and smiled. I don't really have much else to say. Bye.

Then a small entry was below. I read quietly letting my fingers touch the words.

Well I called and I'm not pregnant. I'm relieved but a little sad. I called Sam and told him and he seemed a little relieved like me but, I could tell he was crushed. I sat there for a while after the phone call and looked out my bedroom window. I've passed on meals the past couple of days. I'm not hungry. My parents are a little concerned. I told them it was nothing. I don't want to write anymore.

The entries were quick. There was so much going on in my head. I couldn't bear my soul to these blanks pages. Someone may read what's really going on. I couldn't risk my parents finding out everything.

A couple of weeks have passed again. Sam and I have been spending a lot of time together. He seems a little different. I will write more later when I come home. Ciao. I'm home. What a horrible afternoon. I went down to the beach to meet up with Sam. I wrapped my arms around his neck to give him a kiss. I only asked if he was feeling ok because he felt warmer than normal. He snapped at me, "I'M FINE LEAH! DON'T TOUCH ME!" I just sat down in the sand and he joined me. I put my hand out for his. He carefully took mine. He did apologize for snapping at me. I made the mistake and asked him once more if he was feeling ok. He let go of my hand and stood up. I quickly followed and stood up wrapping my arms around his neck again trying to give him a kiss. He pulled my arms from around his neck and walked off. He just left me on the beach. What did I do wrong. Was he that angry at me because I wasn't pregnant.

The journal entry just ended abruptly. I didn't write for several days.

Sam has disappeared. Nobody has seen him. He hasn't called me, or even wrote. I'm left here wondering what is it that I've done so wrong. Goodnight.

There was a knock on my doorframe. I looked up. "Hey you ready to go?" Seth standing there. I quickly shut the journal and opened a drawer in my desk and threw it in. I looked at it once more and shut the drawer. "Let's go." I shut off the radio and I smiled at Seth. "What was that you were reading? You were pretty lost in it." Seth headed down the hallway and I followed. "It's nothing. Just a book I read sometimes." Seth looked at me, "Your a bad liar but whatever. So where should we go today?" I smiled grabbing the keys for my dad's trucks. "Well we could go to town or head to Port Angeles and catch a movie maybe." Seth shrugged, "Let's go to Port Angeles and we'll see what happens." I left a note for my mom.

Seth and I are going to Port Angeles. Don't worry. Be back later. Love you.

Leah

We got in the truck and I backed out of the driveway and we were on our way. "I left a note for mom so she won't worry. Plus there isn't much to do in La Push or Forks on a Friday." I told Seth as we drove down the highway. As I drove it all replayed. The radio was softly playing, My Immortal by Evanescence. I remembered when Sam and I drove up here to the clinic. "Leah, LEAH!" I shook my head. "What?" Seth looked at me, "Our exit is coming up." I looked the sign read, "Exit 104 - 3 Miles." I moved over to the next lane. "What's going on with you. Your in la la land. You weren't like this when I brought you breakfast. This only happened after you read that "book". So do you care to tell me why there's a fog surrounding your head." I my grip tightened on the steering wheel. "It's nothing Seth. I just haven't been here in a while, ok." The tears started to slide down my cheeks. "Leah your crying. Please talk to me." he turned to look at me. The last time I came up to Port Angeles was with Sam." I took a deep breath and Seth waited. "Last night when Jacob dropped me off after our patrol, he said something similar to what Sam used to say. I accidentally said thank you Sam." Seth replied, "Ok so you goofed up doesn't explain the fog." I sighed, "Ok just between us. It was my journal I was reading. Before Sam phased we," I cringed but said it. "Sam and I were together. He was the one I lost it to." Seth turned red, "Wow ok." I just nodded a little, "Well I had a pregnancy scare and we came up here to a clinic. I wasn't pregnant. But then a few weeks later is when Sam disappeared because he phased." Seth looked at me. "I'm so sorry. I didn't realize. Does mom know?" I shook my head, "No I never told them." The sign was there, "Exit 104." I put on my directional and pulled off the highway.

I pulled into downtown area and found a space and parked. I killed the engine and yanked the keys out of the ignition and hopped out. Seth was out of the truck and ready to go.

We crossed the street and walked along looking at the shops. There on a newspaper stand the the print was so large. DEATH TOLL INCREASES. 3 MORE FOUND DEAD IN SEATTLE. I stopped an kept re-reading it. "Glad we aren't that close to Seattle." Seth remarked and we started walking again. "So is patrolling fun? Because I'm so bored studying and being left out of everything. Sam treat's me like I'm a baby. Leah I'm 15." I felt bad, "I know Seth. It's not fare to you. I think your old enough to patrol. Geez you phased didn't you. Sam's an ass. Ever since he became the, all high mighty alpha." I closed my eyes taking a deep breath. "It's ok Leah. He's alpha. Whatever he says goes. I understand." I snapped at Seth, "No it's not ok. I'm tired of Sam. He's so full of himself. I don't want to be protect Bella. She's not my friend nor do I care about her or those filthy blood suckers." Seth raised an eyebrow, "Relax. Your so tense. I know you hate Sam." He wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "We'll stick together. Don't worry." he smiled.

We finished up shopping and headed back to the truck and headed home. The ride was quiet. I pulled into the driveway and saw Charlie's truck along with my mom's car in the driveway and the lights were on. The display on the radio read 8:13pm. I turned off the headlights and killed the engine and pulled the keys out of the ignition. I grabbed my bag off the seat and headed inside and Seth followed behind. "Where have you been?" my mom was sitting on the couch with Charlie. I looked at her, "I left you a note saying we were going to Port Angeles." Billy wheeled himself out of the kitchen and was back in the living room. "You never asked. I just came home to find a note. You both were gone all day. Do you know how worried I was?" my mom was upset. "Mom we were fine. Nothing happened." She stood up, "Leah there is some crazed person killing people in Seattle. I don't feel comfortable with my young daughter and son out late." I started to get angry, "It's 8:15pm. It's not midnight. I left a damn note and we got home safe. Get off my case." I saw my mom get angry, "LEAH SKY CLEARWATER. You will not speak to me like that. I'm your mother." I snapped back, "What's your point?" I glared at her and was inches from her face. "Leah calm down." Seth pulled me back. "Leah stop this please." Billy spoke up. I looked at him. "Sorry Billy but this doesn't involve you or him." I looked at Charlie. I tossed the keys on the coffee table. "Here ground me." I walked out the front door slamming it hard. "Seth." my mom looked at him. "Yeah." he timidly answered. "What happened while you were out with Leah?" she asked. "Nothing. She was reading something before we left and seemed a little off. We talked but I promised not to say anything." Billy and Charlie looked at my mom and Seth. "Is she in trouble?" Charlie asked. "No, not now. Something happened before. I'm not saying anything else. I promised her." Seth spoke. Charlie, Billy and my mom's eyes went wide, "What do you mean, "Not now"?" They asked together. "It's nothing. If Leah wants you to know she'd tell you. I'm going to my room." Seth walked off heading towards the bedrooms. He stopped quickly in my room and grabbed my journal and tucked it under his arm. He walked in his room and shut the door, shoving my journal under his mattress. "Sue are you ok?" Charlie asked concerned. "Yeah. Leah doesn't talk about what's bothering her. I don't understand what kind of trouble she could have been in." my mom spoke calmly sitting back down on the couch. Charlie put an arm around her. "Well you can ask her when she comes home." My mom just nodded.

I walked along the road quietly and it started to rain lightly. "Hey. Why are you out here alone?" Jacob was beside me. I tried to smile, "I just yelled at my mom and got in her face in-front of Charlie and your dad." Jacob came up with, "Oh." I nodded, "She just got under my skin and I lost my temper. I went out with Seth for the day to Port Angeles. Well she was all upset. The last thing I needed was her giving me a hard time. I told Seth something really personal." I looked down at the ground walking and, I muttered to myself, "Shouldn't have read it." Jacob looked me, "Shouldn't have read what?" I looked at Jacob, "My journal from when Sam and I were going out." Jacob nodded. "So I talked to Sam and we're all going to patrol tomorrow. It will be Paul, Embry, Sam, Jared, you and I." I looked at Jacob, "Oh what a fun filled Saturday night. I couldn't think of anything more exciting." I said sarcastically. He laughed, "It won't be that bad. I will be there." he smiled at me and I smiled back and looked down blushing a little. "Is Leah smiling? Oh my god it's a miracle. The girl smiles." he laughed and lightly nudged my shoulder. "Oh hush Jacob Black." I smiled and returned the nudge gently. He put his arm around my shoulder, "Don't worry. I will keep you laughing." he chuckled. "Ok." I smiled.

We walked back to the house and headed inside. They were all still sitting in the living room, "Hello Jacob. What a nice surprise." my mom smiled. "Have you cooled off?" my mom asked. "I talked to her. She's ok." Jacob smiled. "So is there something going on?" Charlie asked. I looked at him, "No, should there be officer?" He shook his head, "Leah I'm asking because you have us concerned." I crossed my arms. "Seth mentioned you guys talked." I clenched my fists and Jacob placed a hand on my shoulder, "Don't do it." he whispered. "What I told Seth is between him and I. If it concerned any of you I would tell you." I spoke with a snarl. I turned and went into my room and Jacob followed shutting the door behind him. I sat down on my bed leaning against the wall and Jake sat beside me. "So let me guess, Sam or something about Sam got you upset." Jacob smiled softly at me. "Yeah it just aggravates me the way he acts. I don't care if he's alpha. He's not a superior being." Jacob nodded listening. "I understand." we talked softly for a little longer. There was a light knock on my door and then it opened. Seth slid inside the room. "Here you go." he handed me my journal. "I didn't read it. I was worried they might look for it." he smiled. "I didn't tell them anything that you told me. I just mentioned you read something. It was tough, two tribal leaders and the chief of police. Your secret is safe with me." I stood up and hugged Seth, "Thank you. Just if you ever phase don't think about it, ok?" he nodded. "Jake I'll see you later. Night sis." Jacob looked at me, "So that little book is the culprit, huh." he chuckled. "Yeah. It holds secrets that nobody knows. Well now Seth does." I shoved the journal under my pillow. "Well it's getting late. I will see you tomorrow Leah." Jacob smiled and I smiled back. "See you later Jake." I smiled. He slid off the bed and left my room shutting the door.

"We'll be here around 1:00pm tomorrow." Billy told my mom. "Ok sounds like a plan." my mom said. Charlie, Billy and Jacob left. I walked out into the living room. My mom turned and walked over to me. I stood there and just wrapped my arms around her. "I'm sorry about being so rude earlier. I had a lot going on in my head." She just nodded, "I knew something was bothering you. I know Sam is having the whole pack do a patrol tomorrow night. You don't have to worry about tomorrow. Bella went to visit her mom in Jacksonville for the weekend. It will be just Charlie and the others coming over." I smiled a little, "Ok. I'm going to go lay down." She kissed my forehead, "Listen I'm always here to talk when your ready." I smiled and went to my room. I changed into my pajama's and went to sleep.

The opening part is from Stephenie Meyer's Eclipse Chapter 1


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 ~ The Chase**

I woke up the next morning and amazingly, it was sunny out. I got up and threw on some clothes and threw on my sneakers and headed out to go for a run, in human form. I was was enjoying my run when someone came up beside me, "Hello." Jacob was there. "Hi. Where'd you come from." He smiled, "I was just in the woods poking around. Care if I join you?" I shook my head, "No that's fine. I'm not going far. I just needed to clear my head a little." He kept up the pace with me, "Well I will come with you to clear your head. So ready to put up with a hungry wolf pack and your cousin?" I shrugged as we were running, "I don't know. I just tend to block them all out." We finished up the run and, were back at my house and standing outside in the driveway. "Listen Jake, I want to apologize about the other night. I didn't mean to call you Sam. It's just," Jake put a hand on my shoulder, "Relax you don't need to explain it's ok. I'm going to go home and take a shower and I will see you in about an hour." he smiled and jogged off down the road. I headed inside and grabbed my towels and took a shower. I got back to my room and got dressed. I put on a pair of ripped jeans, a white fitted t-shirt and grabbed my pink sweat shirt. I put on my sneakers and gave my hair a quick brush.

My mom was in the kitchen and had made up a bunch of food. "Wow you've been busy I see." I said looking at everything. "Oh hi sweetie. Do you think I made enough. Those boys eat a lot." she smiled. I think there is plenty here. There was a knock on the door, "Come in." my mom called. "You know you could have just invited in a serial killer." I told her. She looked at me, "Be serious Leah." she smiled. "I was serious mom. Seattle isn't far from here." I pretended to act scared and, she gave me a stern look. Emily and Sam walked in holding food. "Hi Sue, Leah." Emily smiled as best as she could. Sam shut the door behind them and nodded at us. I let out a loud groan, "Pardon me I think I need to go find something to do." I left the kitchen and went into my room and shut the door. I yanked my journal out from underneath my pillow and I flipped to a blank page and started writing.

Why today? Why tonight do we have to patrol together. I hate being linked to Sam's thoughts. Right now he's in my house with Emily. I wish my dad were here. It's not fare. He should be here laughing with us. Charlie and Billy would be laughing with him. I keep thinking he's off fishing or had to run some errands. I wonder if the wound will ever heal. I don't think I can handle losing anything else in my life. Then again my life is lost. I think it was sucked into some black hole never to return. I was just thrown into this one and have to make do with it.

As I was writing Sam and Emily were in the kitchen talking to my mom. "So what's been going on around here?" Emily asked putting together a salad. "Well Leah decided last night to get in my face." They both turned and looked at my mom, "Your kidding me!" Emily's eyes went wide. "No she and Seth went to Port Angeles. When they got home I was rather upset with Leah for taking off with him. They left a note but she never asked if it was ok." Sam looked at Emily then my mom. "Then what happened?" Emily was curious and leaned against the counter listening. "I said, I don't feel comfortable with my young daughter and son out late. She snapped saying, "It's 8:15pm. It's not midnight. I left a damn note and we got home safe. Get off my case." I was a bit taken back by that. I said to her, "You will not speak to me like that. I'm your mother." and her response was, "What's your point?". I couldn't believe her, that's when she got in my face. Seth pulled her back. She took off out the front door and slammed it behind her." Sam stood there and closed his eyes. "Sue I'm so sorry." Emily walked over and hugged my mom. "Don't worry about it. I felt bad Charlie and Billy were here and saw the whole thing. Charlie asked if she was in trouble and Seth said, "No, not now. Something happened before. I'm not saying anything. I promised her." We asked him, "What do you mean, not now?" and his response was, "It's nothing. If Leah wants you to know she'd tell you." Sam stood up a little straighter at that moment and cleared his throat. My mom looked at him, "Are you ok Sam?" she smiled. He nodded, "Yeah just a tickle in my throat." Emily went back to finishing up the salad and setting it on the table. "This is a lot to take on right now. It's only several weeks since she phased. It's a scary thing to go through. You almost lose your identity. You don't know who you are anymore." Sam looked at my mom. "I don't find it ok that she got in your face. That was uncalled for." my mom just smiled at Sam, "Thank you. She's apologized. I just don't understand why she was so impulsive." my mom spoke softly washing her hands, and then drying them off.

There was knock on my door. "Who is it?" I asked. The soft warm voice that I used to love answered, "It's me. May I come in?" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, "Come in." I shut my journal leaving it on the desk and turned around in my chair. The radio was on and, "Somewhere Only We Know by Keane" came on. Sam walked in and shut the door behind him. "May I?" he motioned towards the bed. "Go ahead." I said. He sat down on the edge and looked at me, "So what's going on?" I looked at him and rolled my eyes. "I apologized ok. I know I blew up at my mom." Sam sat there listening. "I left a note she just pissed me off and," I stopped there. That's when his eyes met mine. "I'm not here to reprimand you. I'm your alpha but I'm not your parent. I wanted to know if you were ok?" I looked at him. I was a bit taken back. "I read my journal entry from back then. It all replayed like it was happening all over again." Sam just looked at me, "I'm sorry Leah." I just stayed quiet. I started to talk and my voice cracked, a lump was in my throat and the tears were there, "My life, our lives were pretty normal back then. What the hell happened. We were in love and, we had plans for our future.I just don't understand. We were perfect for each other. Dammit Sam I still love you" I couldn't believe I let it come out. He looked at me, "I still love you." I felt safe just for the moment. "I understand Emily is the one, and your in love with her." I looked at him. He gave a faint smile, "I quite often wonder what would have happened between us if you were, pregnant." I looked down and sighed softly. "Well I should get back out there and help them set up. There will always be a part of me that loves you Leah." Sam got up and left my room an shut the door behind him.

I shoved my journal in between my mattress and box spring, and fixed the blankets. I laid down for a bit and just did some thinking. I heard people arriving and decided I wasn't ready to make my appearance just yet. I had a lot going on in my head. I was keeping a secret from my mom. I just told my Sam I still loved him, and now Seth knew what was going on. I finally rolled off my bed and walked out. Jared, Paul, Jacob, Seth, Embry and Quil were shoveling food into their mouths. "Weah! How are wou doing?" I laughed at Jared trying to talk. I think there were at least 2 hotdogs including buns, mustard and ketchup, plus some potato salad in his mouth. "I'm good." I replied and he smiled and somehow managed to take a sip of his soda. Paul just nodded there wasn't enough room for him to open his mouth. Jacob looked up and smiled and I smiled back. I grabbed a hotdog to eat. "That's all your having." Jacob was beside me. "Uh, yeah. I'm not super hungry." I said quickly finishing my food. So my dad told me about what happened. You were the topic on the short ride home." he grinned. I wanted to die of embarrassment at this point. "Was it bad?" I asked. "No they just said they were concerned because of what Seth had mentioned. Charlie thought he might have to take you outside, believe it or not." I shook my head, "It's not like I was going to attack her. I was angry." Jacob finished his burger, "I know that but they had never seen you act like that before." I took our plates and put them in the sink. The pack chatted amongst the others and laughed. Billy and Charlie ended up resorting to the television and put on something sports related. The boys all headed out. Sam, Emily and I helped clean up.

It was time to go patrol. "Mom I'll be back later. I love you. Bye Billy, Charlie." I headed out the door. Sam kissed Emily carefully, "I will see you later. I love you." She returned the kiss and watched him as he left. "Did Leah just leave with Sam. She wasn't screaming or yelling." Charlie raised an eyebrow. "They needed to talk." Emily smiled and sat down at the table with my mom and spoke softly.

"Well that was rather nice. You ready to patrol." Sam smiled as we took off into the woods and separated from each other. I went behind a tree and slipped out of my clothes and started running and felt the tremble and phased. Sam walked over to where he left me and nodded. We started running together. Paul and Jared met up with Sam and I. Embry, Quil and Jacob were together. Sam thought to Jacob, "Where are you three currently?" The only thing we heard was, "She's been here recently. Maybe fifteen minutes ago. Let's follow it." Jacob was thinking to Quil and Embry. "Jacob wait for me and the others." Sam thought. We took off running along the treaty line following the scent. You could tell it was fresh. The scent just burned your nose. The stench was of leech lingered. We then lost the scent. It stopped abruptly. She was smart and crossed the treaty line onto the Cullen territory. "Spread out along the treaty line." Sam spoke. We kept running south hoping to catch her. We could hear them running and caught there scent. We had gone to far south. Jared, Paul, Sam and I watched as the Cullen's chased her up the line heading north. We tried to catch up on our side. Then she was on our land. She was our's for the taking. Just as we got close she danced back on to their side of the line. "Dammit. She's too quick." Sam thought. Between the four of us we could have ripped her apart. Then the big leech with the dark hair kept going after her. He was ahead of the others when he lunged at the red head. Just as he lunged at her she danced across the treaty line and was back on our land. He almost hit Paul and that's when it got bad, "You're dead." that's all Paul thought. The leech was on our land. Before we knew it he was back with the others on his side. Paul was snarling, "PAUL STOP!" Then the blonde female got very upset and let out a hiss and glared at Paul. "Paul calm down now." Sam's voice was loud and stern. The tension was heavy in the air. The blond male who was the leader spoke to Sam, "I'm sorry that happened. Please accept my apologies. Emmett did not mean to cross the line. Rosalie is very protective of him." Then the other blond male walked up next to the one speaking and everything seemed to become calm quickly. We kept our eyes on the cold ones. Sam thought, "That one there has a power and it can't be fought. It's not worth trying to fight it." Once Sam and the leader finished talking and the calmness disappeared. The leeches gave us the lead. We kept running at full speed until we hit the cliffs north of the Makah reservation. We watched as she jumped off the cliff hitting the water and disappearing underneath the waves. The big leech and the one who calmed us asked for permission to come over the line to follow her. Sam shook his head, "NO."

We stayed in the area for a while hoping she'd come back. She didn't return. The Cullen's took off into the woods. We headed back to the woods ourselves. We patrolled all through the night until the sky started to lighten up. "I don't think she'll be back for a while. We need to go home and get some rest. We'll meet up here later on this evening. Be here by sunset." Sam thought to us. We took off in our different directions. I took off to where I left my clothes and phased back and was dressed in seconds. I walked home in the enjoying the quiet of the early morning. I snuck in the house quietly. I laid down on the couch and fell asleep. My mom woke up and came out and covered me up. "Wow she never falls asleep on the couch. What happened?" Seth asked my mom. "I don't know. I know there was a patrol last night. I woke up and found her sound asleep on the couch." They headed into the kitchen. "So what did you and Leah do when you went to Port Angeles on Friday?" my mom smiled pouring herself a cup of coffee. "Nothing really we talked and walked around looking at a few of the shops. Then came home." Seth was sitting down with a bowl of cereal. "I'm glad you two had fun. I'm sorry about what happened when you got home. I worry about you two being there. Your not that far from Seattle." Seth took another bite, "The newspaper head line read, "DEATH TOLL INCREASES. 3 MORE FOUND DEAD IN SEATTLE." My mom shook her head, "This is why I worry. Seattle is about 3 maybe four hours from here. I know it seem's like it's not that close but, I just don't like the idea ok." Seth nodded. They finished up breakfast and got ready for the day.

I woke up later that evening stretching. "Oh man I fell asleep on the couch." I groaned. Seth was on the floor in-front of the couch. "Mom she's alive." he laughed. "Hi sweetie how'd you sleep?" my mom was in the kitchen starting dinner. "I'm not sure. Ok I guess." I said sitting up. "What happened last night?" Seth asked. "Where to start. Jacob, Quil and Embry caught a fresh trail that the red head left. They went after it. Sam wanted them to wait. Well she kept crossing back and forth between the treaty line.

She danced along the line crossing back and forth between Cullen territory and Quileute. If it weren't for the big vampire coming over the line and getting into it with Paul we would have had her." My mom poked her head out of the kitchen, "What happened to Paul? Is he ok?" Great now she was worried. "The big vampire with dark hair lunged at the red head and she jumped over the treaty line, well he followed her without realizing. Well Paul got defensive and, well it was a huge misunderstanding. Anyways their leader and Sam talked and cleared everything up. We went after her again but she ran along the cliffs heading towards the Makah reservation. Then she jumped off the cliff and took off into the water." Seth sat there spoon frozen in midair my mom just listened. "Well as long as nobody got hurt." my mom tried to smile. "We're all fine." I got up and headed to the table. We sat down and had dinner. Dinner was quiet.

The phone rang and I ran to get it. "Hello." Jacob's voice was on the other end. "Leah can I talk to you?" I took the phone into my room, "Hey what's up?" His voice sounded different, "I've tried calling her house all day and she's not home. Charlie promised to have her call when she get's in. I hate not knowing what's going on." With my free hand I rubbed my eyes I was exhausted, "Jake relax ok. She'll call when she get's in. Charlie wouldn't lie to you." His voice was pained. "I will talk to you later. I've gotta do something. Bye." The phone went dead. I brought the phone back out to the living room. "Who was on the phone?" my mom asked. "Jacob. Just wanted to say hi." I smiled. Seth knew there was something. "Well that was nice of him. He's such a sweet kid." I just nodded. "I'm going to call it an early night. I will see you in the morning." I hugged my mom, "Night Seth." My mom smiled, "Night sweetie." I just barely made it to my bed before passing out.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 ~ The OLD Leah is DEAD.**

I woke up and rubbed my eyes. The sky was gray and there was a light drizzle outside. I had a headache. "Mom are you home?" I called out. My head felt like it had hit with a sledge hammer. "Yeah Leah what's up?" she appeared in my doorway. "Can I have something for a headache please. I don't want to move." she nodded. "I will get you some tylenol." She was off and back in a matter of seconds with two white pills and a glass of water. "What happened did you wake up with it?" I sat up nodding and took the pills. "Have you had anything to eat yet?" I was still sleepy, "No. I don't even know what time it is." She looked at her watch, "It's 10:48am. Seth is at school. Would you like me to make you something to eat?" she smiled. "If you don't mind I would love that." I leaned my head against the wall.

My mom headed out to the kitchen and made something to eat for me, "Leah it's ready." I pulled myself off the bed and made it to the kitchen. "Thank you." I sat down and started eating. My mom was sitting there looking at me. I caught her out of the corner of my eye, "Leah," I turned and looked at her. "Yeah." She took a deep breath and looked at me, "Are you ok?" I didn't know what brought this on. "Yeah why wouldn't I be." I set the fork down on my plate. "Well you seem to have a lot on your mind." she took my hands into her's and held onto them. I inhaled deeply, "I don't know what to say mom." She looked at me, "Leah your not yourself. You started to get back into your normal routine after dad, transitioned. Since you've come back from Port Angeles, you've been acting different. I worry about you." I rolled my eyes, "Mom there's just a lot going on in my head right now." Her grip on my hands tightened a little, "Leah please Seth had mentioned you may have been in trouble before but your not now. What does that mean?" I closed my eyes weighing the option of whether or not to tell her. "Leah please tell me. Are you in trouble?" I had to tell her, "Mom chill ok. Before we went to Port Angeles I was reading my journal. Well on our way there I started remembering something. There was a time Sam and I went to Port Angeles and," I had to take a second to collect myself. "I was 3 weeks late. I called Sam and told him. Well I didn't tell you or dad. We went to a clinic up there. The pregnancy test came back negative. I told Sam and then coincidence he disappeared for those 3 weeks after we came back. I thought he left because I wasn't pregnant." I looked at my mom. Her expression was a combination of blank, hurt, fury, disappointment and shock. "Leah, why? I thought you were more careful. You should have come to me. I know you and Sam were dating but, you should have waited. You don't just go and do that with who ever comes along." I just looked at her and pulled my hands back, "Excuse me. Who are you to tell me what to do with my life. What is it of your business of who I chose to lose my virginity too. I loved Sam. I thought he was the one." I was getting angry. "You and dad lost it to each other before you were married. Matter of fact the reason you two got married so young was?" I glared at her, "You were pregnant with me. So why is it so different? I will tell you why, because I'm your daughter. Please save me the whole I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did." My mom looked at me with this burning anger in her eyes, "Leah your father and I loved it each other. We were engaged already. We just moved the wedding up. We had a plan." I shoved back from the table and started yelling, " How do you know Sam and I didn't have a plan." She cut me off, "Leah what plan? You were two high school sweethearts. You weren't engaged." I clenched my fists, "I'm done talking to you. You don't have any idea how I feel. I thought you'd be more understanding. Geesh maybe even supportive. I was really wrong to think I could talk to you."

I turned and walked towards the door. My mom was out of her chair, "Where do you think your going. I'm not done talking to you." I opened the front door walking outside, "It's none of your business what I do SUE!" She was right on my heels, "Leah Clearwater! You get back here right now." She stayed right behind me. I headed for the woods. "Leah stop." The growl rolled through my gritted teeth. I started to tremble and she saw it and backed up. The clothing flew through the air and scattered around the two of us into pieces. "Leah how could you." the pain was there in her eyes. "You phased on me. Your own mother and an elder on the tribes council. I'm so disappointed in you." I growled baring my teeth at her. Tears started to fill up in her eyes, "I will leave clothes for you here. I love you, but not like this Leah." she turned and walked back to the house. I took off into the woods for some time. I ran trying to clear my head. "Leah where are you?" Sam thoughts came through and broke my thought, "What? I'm near my house and I'm about to phase back." I was back where I had exploded and I calmed down and was back to my human form. I put the clothes on and stood there waiting when Sam appeared. "Hey." he smiled a little. "Hello." He cleared his throat, "You have your mom pretty upset right now. She asked if I could try and get you to come back home. So have you cooled off?" I nodded and walked back towards the house.

Seth was just walking outside and saw me, "Hey I will see you in a little bit. I'm going to go out for a while." he took off down the road. I thought that was weird. I opened the door and sitting in the living room on the couch was my mom and Billy was beside her in his wheel chair. "Thank you Sam." my mom smiled faintly. "Leah sit down please." she motioned to the couch. I sat down beside her and Sam sat beside me. "What's going on?" I asked. "Leah your mom called Sam and I." Billy spoke. "She told us you phased on her. She's an elder on the council, and your mother. You need to show some more respect." I put my hand up, "Hold on, respect. Excuse me. I do respect her." Sam interjected, "Leah you phased on her. You can't be doing that." I turned and looked at Sam. "If I remember correctly Emily was conveniently mauled by a bear. Sam don't try and pretend like I don't know. I hear your thoughts. Don't forget that. You were angry and you phased. You mauled her face." I gave a grin that was pure malice. Sam was hurt and I didn't care. I felt like it was about time he realize what pain he caused to me. "Stop it now Leah. This isn't who you are. I want the old Leah back." my mom touched my arm so gently. I turned and looked at her, "The old Leah died. Her heart was broken. She was betrayed by her own blood. Nothing will ever bring her back. You can thank those filthy blood suckers for that. Now if you don't mind I'm done with this little pow wow. The concern is getting old. Move on because I have. Worry about Seth not me. I'm lost and there's no coming back." I stood up and walked to my room and grabbed my journal and returned to the living room. "Here read it. I don't care. You want the old Leah. Here are the memories you'll have." I tossed my journal on the couch and walked out the front door. I just started running and couldn't stop. My mom sighed and tears started streaming down her cheek, "I don't know what to do anymore." Sam put an arm around her, "Sue I'm sorry." She wiped the tears away and picked up the journal. "I don't want to read it. That's not fare to her." Billy wheeled himself to the kitchen, "I think we all need some coffee." My mom stood up and put the journal on the bookcase. She joined Billy. "Sam are you having any?" she asked pulling out the cream and sugar. Sam got up and walked out, "Sure." he sat down at the table. Billy wheeled himself to the table and my mom placed the cups on the table with cream and sugar. "Leah confided in me what happened. Why you went to Port Angeles before." she pulled out a chair and sat down. Sam sat up straight, "I'm sorry. I suggested we tell you but she would have nothing to do with the idea." Billy sat quietly not saying a word. "Sam I don't blame you. I was rather harsh on her and I wasn't being the good mom and listening." she took a sip from her coffee. "Sue being a parent isn't an easy job. We don't always do the right thing. That's what makes us human." Billy spoke up. They sat and talked for a while.

Meanwhile I stopped running eventually and found myself on a hidden part of the beach. I sat down on the sand and felt the tears stream down my cheeks. I was sobbing, "I'm such a jerk. I can't believe I did that to him. Oh my god my mom. Dad I'm so sorry I'm doing this. I don't know what's happening to me." I heard it in the faint distance, wind chimes. My dad was there with me listening. My hair was blowing all around and it had tangled. "I probably look like a mess." I thought to myself. I was so tired from getting so upset. I got up and decided that I needed to go see Emily

I got to her house and knocked on the door. Emily opened it, "Leah. Oh my god what happened?" She pulled me inside. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror by her front door. My cheeks were stained by the tears and red and my hair was mess. "What happened? Where did you come from?" I started to cry again, "I don't know what's going on with me." I let myself go and I hugged her. She cautiously hugged me back. "What brought this on? Come sit down." She walked me over to the couch. "I told my mom about something that happened. She didn't react the way I expected her too. I snapped and phased on her. I didn't hurt her physically. I growled at her and I let her down." we sat down. "Well what did you tell her?" I sighed, "Just before Sam disappeared when he first phased. Sam and I were together if you know what I mean. I thought he was the one. I had a pregnancy scare. I told my mom about it today and it didn't go the way I expected it too." Emily wiped the tears off my cheek. "She said, "Leah, you don't just go and do that with who ever comes along." It hurt so much to hear that Emily." I felt this pain my chest. "Hun I'm sorry. I didn't know that happened." Emily sat there. "I just took off. Sam and Billy got involved. It had nothing to do with them." Emily stood up, "Let me get you something to eat ok. I will be right back." I laid down on the couch. I fell asleep.

The hours passed and Billy, Sam and my mom were waiting. The door opened slowly and all eyes were on it. "Hello I'm home." Seth called out. My mom sighed and everyone relaxed a little, "Where could she have gone?" Billy asked. "I have no idea."my mom answered. "What's going on?" Seth walked over to my mom and hugged her. "Have you seen your sister? She got angry and took off." Sam asked. "No. I was down at the beach and she wasn't there." Seth walked over to the fridge pulling out a slice of cold pizza and inhaled it. "I can go look for her." Sam spoke. "Should we call the authorities and have them be on the lookout for her?" Billy asked. "I don't know. Sam would you look for her. Seth go with him please. I will call Emily and see if maybe, just maybe she went over there." my mom stood up grabbing the phone.

Sam and Seth were about to head out the door. My mom called Emily, "Hello." Emily's sweet voice answered. "Hi Emily, it's Sue. Is Leah there by any chance. We're not sure where she is." Emily spoke softly, "Yeah she showed up here crying. I had no idea what happened. She's asleep on my couch right now." My mom let out a sigh of relief, "She's at Emily's house. She fell asleep on the couch." Sam and Seth walked over to where my mom was standing. "Ok we'll be over soon to pick her up. Thank you." she hung up the phone. "Ok we need to go get her. Sam would you come with me to pick her up?" my mom looked at him. "Yeah not a problem." Billy spoke up, "I will stay here with Seth." My mom grabbed her keys and kissed Seth gently on the cheek, "We'll be back." and she and Sam were out the door and in her car on their way.

They pulled up to the house and knocked on the door and walked in. "Emily. Thank you so much." my mom hugged Emily. "Anytime. She's been sleeping this whole time. If you can move her with out waking her, that would be the best." Emily looked at Sam. He walked over and picked me up and I stirred a little, "Shh Leah it's ok." my mom spoke softly and opened the door. They headed outside and Sam put me gently in the back of the car and they drove home. Sam carried me inside the house and laid me down on my bed and covered me up. Before he left he whispered softly, "Leah I'm sorry I ever hurt you." he leaned down and kissed my gently on the forehead and shut the door. "She's asleep for the night." My mom smiled, "Thank you again. I think we all need some sleep." Billy nodded and agreed, "I will drop you off Billy on my way home. Sue I will see you later. Just call if you ned anything. Goodnight." Sam pushed Billy out to the truck. Seth looked at my mom, "Is Leah ok?" my mom shrugged, "I don't know hun. She's got a lot of anger built up. Let's get some rest." They headed to bed. My mom went into her room and quietly prayed, "Lord please help me. Guide me in the right direction to help her. Help her heal. She need's to be happy again. Amen." she changed into her pajama's and crawled into bed and shut off the light.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17 ~ The Unexpected**

After Sam left he went down to the beach for a while. He found himself at our old spot. His fingers ran through the sand. The moon was lighting the waves as they crashed onto the shore. "What have I done?" he looked out across the water. The pain Sam had caused me was weighing heavily on his conscious. "It's my fault. Emily's face. God I'm a monster." He looked down beside him on the sand, and there sat the letter. I wrote the letter back when we broke up, when he left me for Emily. Tonight he finally had it. It had been sitting in my journal with his name on it. When I threw my journal it fell out. He slowly opened the paper and read it.

Complete and total adoration,

My gift to you, my heart was yours.

In ten weeks you shaped it,

In one night you murdered it.

Torn from my chest and laid at your feet,

That first step you took was the worst.

Since then you've walked a thousand miles in silence and short remark,

I still have these memories,

But we'll never see what we could have been.

Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?

Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?

Remember, cause that's all you can do.

We'll never make another memory,

We'll never make another memory.

I wish I'd have died in your arms the last time we were together,

So I wouldn't have to wake without you today.

This time I thought things were real.

You said they were, what happened?

You were a priority, was I an option?

I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone.

Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.

you knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,

I'm sorry that wasn't enough.

So, we'll go our own ways,

And hopefully you'll remember the things I've told you,

Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said was in sincerity.

A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,

But I guess I've learned from it.

But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?

I don't consider this a mistake,

I just wish the story didn't end this way,

Cause I'm still in love with the person who helped me write it.

Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?

Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?

He just looked at the paper. "Leah I'm so sorry. I couldn't help it." he said out loud. Emily was at home and just finished folding laundry and had put it away. She sat down on the couch waiting for Sam to come home. Finally the clock was reading 12:44am. "Goodnight Sam. Hope your ok." She got up and turned off the lights and went to bed.

Sam sat on the beach until the sun started to rise behind the clouds. He grabbed the letter and headed back to Emily's. When he arrived at the house the sky was still covered with clouds. He slowly made his way inside and laid down on the couch and fell asleep. The letter fell to the floor.

Emily woke up a little later. The clock read 8:00am. She rolled out of bed and pulled on her bathrobe and made her way to the living room. There she found Sam sound asleep. She went to cover him up when she noticed the letter. She picked it up and sat down at the kitchen table and read it. She sat there for a while then folded it back up and placed it on the table.

Hours past and Sam finally woke up to find Emily sitting quietly in the living room reading. "Emily." She set down her book, "Hello. So what time did you come home at?" she looked at Sam as he sat up. "Sometime this morning towards sun rise. I had a lot on my mind." Emily nodded, "So we need to talk." Sam became a little concerned, "What's wrong? Are you ok?" he started to stand up. "Sam I'm ok. Just sit please." he slowly moved back. "What's going on with you and Leah? I understand if you want to be with her. I will move back to the Makah reservation. I can start a new life." Sam quickly interrupted, "Whoa, wait up. Your not going any where. I don't want to be with her. Your my imprint. I love you Emily. I don't think I could go on without you. What brought all this on?" Emily looked down at her hands, "Leah told me yesterday about her, pregnancy scare with you. I didn't realize you two had been together in that manner. I thought I knew everything. Then I found the letter she wrote to you. Sam, I..." Emily just stopped talking. Sam walked over to her and squatted in-front of her. He carefully took her scarred face in his large warm hands, "Emily, I'm sorry. I love you and I am with you. I will never leave you. I didn't think it was important for me to tell you." Emily looked at him, "Sam she's my cousin. She was like my sister. She gave you EVERYTHING! Everything that was important to her." Sam let out a sigh and looked down, "I've tried to apologize countless times. She just doesn't accept it. I know what I did was wrong. I'm sorry." Sam was in pain and Emily could see that. She pulled his hands from her face and hugged him, "Promise me anything else, you'll tell me?!" Sam nodded, "I promise Emily."

He stood up, "I need to take a shower. Give me 10 minutes." he kissed Emily on the top of her head and was off. Emily sat quietly and looked out the window. She watched these two birds fly with one another so gracefully. She wondered if they mated for life. There seemed to be such a bond between the two of them. There was warmth embracing her and a kiss on her cheek, "I'm back." Sam spoke softly. She smiled faintly.

"So what happened between Sue and Leah? She was very, and I mean very upset when she came here. I think it was a last resort for her." Emily turned around to look at him. Sam nodded and sat down on the floor in-front of her. She looked at him, "I've only scene Leah cry twice like she was yesterday. What's going on? I guess Leah tried talking to Sue. I heard it had a much different outcome then Leah had expected."

Sam cleared his throat, "Remember when Sue called here and, asked me to come over?" Emily nodded. "Leah phased on Sue. Leah went to take off and Sue followed. Sue wasn't physically hurt. She couldn't believe Leah did that. Well after I found Leah and she came back home, her attitude came out." Emily inched close to the edge of her seat. "Billy told Leah she needed to show more respect. Well that's when it started. I said to Leah she can't phase on people. That's when the gasoline hit the fire. Leah turned to look at me and said, "If I remember correctly Emily was conveniently mauled by a bear. Sam don't try and pretend like I don't know. I hear your thoughts. Don't forget that. You were angry and you phased. You mauled her face." She was so nasty about it. Sue snapped at her and yelled at her to stop. She said, "I want the old Leah back." Sue was practically in tears. That's when Leah turned and looked at her and said, "The old Leah died. Her heart was broken. She was betrayed by her own blood. Nothing will ever bring her back. You can thank those filthy blood suckers for that. Now if you don't mind I'm done with this little pow wow. The concern is getting old. Move on because I have. Worry about Seth not me. I'm lost and there's no coming back." Emily's mouth fell open.

"How was Sue when you left her last night?" Emily looked really upset. Sam shrugged, "She looked like she had gone through Harry's funeral again. She looked so lost." Emily swallowed hard, "I feel so bad for Leah. She's gone through so much. I know she's angry at me, but I still love her like my sister. I worry about her." Sam let it slip, "The girl is damaged. There's no fixing her." Emily's head snapped up and locked eyes with Sam. "What did you say about my cousin?" Sam backed up a little, "Emily it's the truth. She's not capable of being fixed if she doesn't want to be." Emily stood up, "Sam Uley, how dare you. You jerk. You took her virginity then broke her heart. Your supposed to be her alpha. This is how you talk about her behind her back. Your supposed to guide her. Get out now." Sam stood up, "Excuse me. I'm not a jerk. I'm just saying how I feel. She constantly reminds me of what I've done to her. She doesn't ease up. She makes everyone know how angry she is with me. It's not fare. She uses her telepathy when we phase as a weapon." Emily snapped, "Good you deserve it you jerk." she turned and walked into the bedroom and slammed the door shut behind her. Sam growled and left the house and started running and phased and took off.

Days passed and it was Saturday evening when Jacob and Billy came over for dinner. There was a knock on the door, "Leah please get the door." my mom asked as she was finishing up dinner. "Yep." I walked over and opened it slightly, "Nobody's home." I smirked. Jacob laughed and Billy looked surprised, "Wow, are you the ghost of the house." he smiled. I opened the door so they could come in. "Hey boys." my mom called out. Billy rolled himself into the kitchen.

"So can we talk?" I asked Jacob. "Yeah." he smiled and we went to my room and shut the door. "So what's up?" he asked. "I assume your dad told you about my little outburst a few nights ago?" Jacob nodded. "I snapped at Sam that night and I haven't heard from him or scene him." Jacob raised an eyebrow, "I don't wanna know what you said to him." he smirked a little. I rolled my eyes, "Trust me it wasn't nice. I used Emily's scar's as a weapon." Jacob cringed, "Ouch." I shook my head, "Yeah. He just had to add his input." Jake nodded. "Well I threw my journal on the couch and I had a letter in there for Sam. When I came home I grabbed my journal out of the living room. Well the letter isn't in there. I think it fell out and he found it." Jake took a deep breath, "How bad was it?" he asked. "I just wrote how I truly felt." he just nodded. "So I was hanging out with Bella and I, sort of filled Bella in on some of the love triangle with," Jake paused and I looked at him. "I must say Bella feels bad for what happened to you. She think's Sam is well she thought he was a jerk. She sort of understood the imprinting thing." I listened and sighed, "Leah what was I supposed to do. She's my best friend. I can't hide everything from her." I stayed focused, "Anything else I should know about. Did you tell her my bra size while you were at it?" I let a small smirk appear. "No even I don't know that." Jacob laughed. I was sitting there when Jake leaned in, "So get this the leech didn't tell her about our run in with the red head." I was a bit puzzled, "Yeah he took her away to see her mom. See one of the small Cullen's who looks like a pixie, Alice I think. Well she can see the future I guess. She saw her coming and Edward saw her thoughts. He used the excuse to take Bella to Florida to see her mom. She was never in any danger." I shook my head, "Real nice. We put our necks on the line to protect her and she's not even here." Jacob gave a grin, "Oh don't worry. I let him pick apart my thoughts. I purposely thought about when he left her. How she looked when Sam found her and the weeks following. Payback to that stupid leech." I was curious, "How did you get to see her if he's keeping her away from here?" Jake smiled, "She left work early and snuck down here without him knowing. I just hope she's ok. She said she'd try and come back soon." My mom called out from the kitchen, "Dinner." Jacob was to his feet in seconds. There was a sound of elephants running through the house. By the time I got out to the kitchen Jacob and Seth had already finished everything on their plates and were going for seconds. I sat down and quietly ate my dinner. My mom and Billy quietly spoke. "So how are things going on here at the house?" Billy smiled. "There actually really good." my mom smiled. I stayed quiet and finished eating. "May I be excused?" my mom looked at Billy a little shocked then at me. "That would be fine Leah." she smiled and I went to the living room and sat down and watched tv quietly. "She was very polite. Sue I know your a nurse but you can't drug your kid." Billy laughed. My mom shook her head, "I don't know what happened. It's like she's a new kid." she smiled. Jacob and Seth finished and headed to his room and started talking and listening to music. I laid on the couch and watched Girl Interrupted. Billy and my mom just talked for a while until it was time to go home. I finished my movie and said goodnight. Jake and Billy left. Seth was quiet in his room and my mom was reading in the living room. I was tired and decided to shut off the light and fell asleep.

The week passed and it was rather uneventful. It was Friday afternoon when there was a knock on the door. "I'm coming hold on." I called rolling myself off the couch. I got up and there was jake his hair was soaking wet and he came in furious, "She's dead. She's dead to me. I hate her so much and him. GOD!" I shut the door and grabbed a towel for Jake to dry off a little. "She's so stupid. So blind." he was yelling. "Jake calm down. What's going on?" He took the towel and dried his hair and wiped off his face and arms. "She's going to be one of them in weeks. WEEKS LEAH! I can't get her to realize what a stupid thing she's doing. I told her the treaty would be nothing because the Cullen's went back on their word. They changed another person to be like them. I told her, "You'd be better off dead. I rather you were." She snapped back at me and said, "Maybe I'd get lucky. Maybe she'd get hit by a truck on her way back." She took off on her motorcycle and that's it. I haven't heard from her." he let his body collapse onto the couch. "Jake you need to let her go. I know she's your friend but it's not worth it. She want's to turning into one of those things, let her. She's going to get them all killed. Sam won't stand for it. Jacob sighed and I could see his eyes were red and watery. I felt bad for him. Personally if I could I would love to show her the pain she was putting Jake through. The phone rang, "Hello?" Emily's voice was on the other end, "Um hey Leah have you seen Sam?" I was confused, "Uh no why?" There was a pause, "We got into a huge fight and he took off. Thanks. I will talk to you later." the phone went dead. I sat there in disbelief.

The letter is a song by the band Across Five Aprils and the song is A Year From Now.

There were some things taken from Stephenie Meyers Eclipse.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18 ~ The Denial**

Sam was running through the woods. Things looked like a blur of greens, and browns. The air was moist. "I don't understand how she went back to those filthy Cullen's. After he just left her in the woods. If he only saw how she looked when I found her." he growled while running. The leaves on the tree's had beads of rain sitting on them. The ground thudded as Sam ran across. His four large black paws not afraid of crushing what were beneath them. The growls kept rolling through the air. In his head he yelled, "Filthy bloodsucking parasites."

I stood there after hanging the phone up. Sam had run off. This smugness came over me. "Leah you ok there?" Jacob raised an eyebrow. I shook my head grinning, "He left. He ran away like a sad, little, pathetic puppy. Some alpha." I barked out a laugh. Jake was left sitting there looking at me like I'd gone crazy, "Care to fill me in?!" I laughed again, "Sam and Emily had a huge fight. She hasn't seen him for several days. I don't care not my problem." Jacob looked at me, "Now I know that's a lie. You do care." My jaw clenched and Jacob saw it, "Leah I understand you say that, trying to fool yourself. I hate to break it to you, it's not fooling anyone else." Jacob smiled. "Oh you hush Jacob Black." I pouted he was right.

I sat back down beside him on the couch and leaned my head against Jacob's shoulder. He smiled, "Leah I'm always here to listen." he draped his arm over my shoulder. I felt safe with Jacob. He and I just seemed to click and understand one another. I closed my eyes enjoying the quietness. He moved ever so gently and leaned down kissing the top of my head, "It'll be ok. We'll make it together. We're strong people." I wondered who he was trying to kid just then. He laced his fingers with mine and I smiled, "I love you Leah." Sam's voice spoke. I looked up and Sam was sitting there instead of Jacob. "Sam!" I started awake. Jake was rubbing my arm, "It's ok calm down. You fell asleep. I knew you still cared about him." Jake smiled. He was my friend but I was so comfortable around him. We knew how each other felt. We both loved someone we couldn't be with. We sat quiet for a while. "Well I need to get going home. I'll call you later." he smiled and gave me a hug and left quietly. I yanked my journal out from underneath the couch cushion and opened it.

Well I guess Jacob told her how he truly felt. She's going to join the leech renegade. I hate the girl. I think I hate her because of all the problems she's caused. She's causing Jacob so much heartache. She should have to see every thought going through his head. See the pain that sits in his chest. She breaks his heart. She comes back, tapes it together then drops it again. She's selfish just like Sam.

I shut my journal. I didn't know who was more angry for Jacob, him or myself. I wanted to protect him. He was younger than me. I couldn't let him feel the way I did. I was a bitter, angry, heart broken, person. My mom came home with Seth. The lights flicked on, and I jumped. "Leah."my mom startled and stepped backwards a little. "Leah why were you sitting in the dark?" she walked in hanging up her coat and setting her purse down. "I...I...I." I was stuttering like an idiot. "Wolf got your tongue?" Seth snickered carrying in two brown grocery bags. "It's been a long day. Jacob came by earlier. He was really upset." I looked at her and Seth. "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." she had that look of I won't worry on her face. I've become an expert in her facial expressions. She tries so hard to hide things and it doesn't work. The night passed quietly and I finally decided to crash.

Saturday morning rolled around and I did my regular morning routine. Everything was quiet around the house. My mom left a note,

Leah,

Seth went out for the day and I'm over Billy's house. We're going over the plans for tomorrow nights bonfire. I will see you later. I love you. Be careful.

Mom

I wondered if Sam had been heard from. I was feeling bad now. I was blaming myself for him taking off. He had the letter I wrote him when we broke up. I was still very hurt but I was trying to move on. I never wanted him to have it. I screwed up. He'd now had plenty of time to read it over and over. Those crushing words I said. Could he hear my voice saying them to him? I wrote it out of anger. I was going to go look for him. I threw of a pair of flip flops and walked down to the beach. It was early afternoon when I decided to see if there was any sign of him around La Push. I took off my sandals and walked along the sand the only thing I could hear was the waves hitting the shore line. As I walked along something touched my foot. It was a piece of paper with writing on it. I picked up the piece of paper and read it.

I wish I'd have died in your arms

the last time we were together.

So I wouldn't have to wake without

you today

It was my handwriting. The paper had been read several times. There were creases in the paper. It had been folded and unfolded quite a bit. I thought, "Crap. I bet Emily read the letter or he told her. They had a fight because of me." The guilt started to sit on my chest and the emptiness was creeping in slowly. I looked around and walking towards me there he was, "Sam!" I called out and ran over to him. He looked up just as I wrapped my arms around him hugging tightly. "Where have you been? Emily called looking for you?" He stood quietly looking at me, and I could tell he was exhausted, "Leah I needed to get away from all of this." he looked around at everything surrounding us, the beach, the woods, La Push, or was it me? I stepped back letting go of him, "Get away? Sam you left the pack in a lurch. You left Emily alone." I was really trying to make him understand what he'd done to us. Then I realized it wasn't the pack he left, it was Emily. I saw Emily as myself, left wondering what happened. It was like the past all over again. He took a deep breath, "Leah I found the letter. I didn't know what to say. I know I hurt you. There's never going to be a way for me to take that pain away. I still love you and care about you." I smiled but he stopped me short by placing both of his hands on my shoulders, "It's a different love for you now." I stood there and swallowed back the tears ready to stream down my cheeks, "That's fine Sam. I understand. I want you to be happy and have a great life with Emily." my voice cracked on the last part. Sam took my face in his warm hands. He leaned down and kissed me on the top of my forehead, "Leah I will never stop caring about you." He pulled away slowly, "I need to get home and check on Emily. I will see you later." he smiled and jogged off down the sand towards home. I sat down in the sand holding the piece of paper. I was truly alone now. The words on the paper were blurry now from my tears hitting them.

The sun had just about set and I hadn't moved. I noticed someone was close, "Care for company?" Jacob's voice broke the silence around me. My trembly voice spoke, "Public beach." I said trying to hold back the sniffles. "Hey you've been crying. That's not good. What's going on?" Jacob squatted in-front of me making eye contact with me. "Nothing. Sam's home and safe." Jacob sighed and sat down beside me and pulled me close to him holding on to me, "That's no reason to cry." I didn't have the energy to tell him the whole story. "It's nothing really. I've got a lot on my mind." Jacob nodded resting his chin on top of my head, "Join the club.I called and left a message with Charlie. I told him to just tell her, I was sorry and I didn't mean it." I let out a sigh as Jacob kept me wrapped in his arms, "I hate seeing you go through this Jake. It's like watching Sam and I. The difference is Bella is Sam and your me." Jacob was quiet for a moment, "Wow I was not expecting that." I shook my head, "I'm sorry it's just been bothering me." Jake chuckled, "No I mean you referring to Bella by her actual name. I was expecting, Leech lover, parasite lover, or one of the other names you may have come up with." I smiled and Jacob did also. We sat until it was dark and the moon was trying to break through the overcast sky, "Well I should get you home. You need to get some sleep." Jacob let go of me, and put out a hand and helped me to my feet. We walked home quietly. It was nice to be held by someone again. He was a great friend. He walked me home and gave me a hug and took off down the road. I slowly stepped inside and it was dark. I went to my room and laid down on the bed. I realized love was going to be the ultimate death of Jacob and I. It was going to slowly kill us. We couldn't be with the one's we truly loved.

I woke up the next morning. It was quiet for a Sunday. My mom usually was up and about. I noticed there was a journal on my desk. I leaned over picking it up and opening it. Inside there was a note written to me.

_I'm not usually a big one to do this, but here you go. I found this and thought you could use a new journal. Your's is probably getting pretty full. _

_Happy writing _

_Jake_

I flipped to the next page and read it, and smiled.

_A friend is someone who,_

_Always listens without judging._

_Always cares about you. _

_Always makes you smile even if their having a bad day._

_Always supports you._

_And is always there when you a hug._

_Leah your a great friend and don't ever forget that. _

I kept smiling. Jacob was a true friend. I picked up the phone and called Jacob's house. The phone rang once and then there was an answer

"Hello." Billy's voice came on.

"Hi Billy. I was wondering is Jake home?" I looked the journal over.

"No he's not I"m sorry. He went over to Bella's for a little bit. I can let him know you called." Billy said.

"Ok that would be great. Thanks Billy. Talk to you later." I hung up the phone.

Seth was in my doorway, "Morning sunshine." I laughed, "Hey you." Seth walked in and sat down, "Actually the name is Seth not hey you. It's ok people misunderstand my name quite a bit. Anyways how are you doing? We haven't talked much. Plus mom was curious." he smiled. I looked at him amazed at how fast he was growing up. "I'm ok. Just going on with my life as best as I can." I looked at the picture of my dad out of the corner of my eye. "Leah you've not talked about him at all since he...died. Are you really ok. It's only been a few months. You've not even cried. Well I worry about you." Seth looked really concerned. "I'm fine. It's not bothered me that much." I smiled. He forced a smile trying to hide his concern, "So what are you up to today? I'm bored out of my mind. Mom's running some errands before the party tonight. So I was hoping maybe we could play a game of chess. It's been a while." he gave that grin I couldn't resist. "Ok go get the game and set it up. I need to take a shower and get dressed. Give me 10 minutes." Seth rolled his eyes, "Hurry up slow poke. 10 minutes and I'm counting." he got up laughing grabbing the chess game and setting it up in the living room while I got ready.

I walked out to the living room and sat down across from Seth. I was playing as the black pieces. We played for a while. The front door opened and in came my mom, "Hello you two. Playing I chess I see. Who's winning?" Seth grinned, "Me of course. Leah stinks." he laughed and I shoved him a little, "Jerk. I'm not that bad." He smirked, "See dad and I always played together." he looked at me. I smiled, "That's right. But I could whip your butt in checkers." Seth smiled, "True but that's not as hard as chess." My mom laughed, "You both are good at certain games." she sat down on the couch and turned on the tv softly and started watching her favorite movie, Bell Book and Candle.

We were all around the camp fire. Old Quil, Billy and my mom were heading up the council meeting. Paul was eager to eat the last hotdog Jacob was holding hostage. Bella was sitting quietly in front of Jake. He decided to pick on Paul a little bit and Paul was losing patience quick. His temper always took over too fast. Embry was quick to welcome the leech lover along with Quil and Emily. I couldn't understand why they were all ok with her being here. She was an outsider, a trader. I stared at the fire not taking my eyes off of it. I could tell she was looking at me. I wondered what she was thinking. Jake had told Bella about everything that happened between Sam, Emily and I. Seth and I sat quietly near my mom. I closed my eyes relaxing. I wasn't tired just trying to let my mind focus on the stories.

Jacob had showed up with Bella. I thought these meeting's were for members of the pack only. I sat quietly and stared at the fire. I wanted nothing to do with her. Everyone was eating and talking amongst themselves. Sitting across from me was Sam and Emily. I kept a straight face not displaying any emotion. I wished that was me sitting with Sam. I so badly wanted my dad to be sitting where my mom was. My mom looked at me and smiled. I just didn't meet her gaze. I stayed focused on the fire. Billy started speaking. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back. I wasn't tired I was listening quietly. I listened to the stories. They were intense. The wind blew as we sat on top of the cliffs. As I learned about our tribes history I had a better understanding. I was also feeling a bit bitter. It was supposed to be the sons no where in the stories did it say, daughters. Once he finished with the last story a lump developed in my throat. The third wives sacrifice got my mind thinking. She was a simple human being who was in on the secret of the tribe. She was a hero, a mother, a strong woman. She reminded me of my mom. My mom would give her life for our safety. Then a small tear streamed down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away before anyone could notice.

After the meeting had ended I watched as Jacob picked up a sleeping Bella. He took off towards his car with her in his arms. Sam and Emily were smiling at one another. He carefully pushed the hair away from her face and kissed the scarred cheek. Meanwhile Jared carefully nudged Kim awake, "Hey sleeping beauty." she stretched and he helped her up off the ground. "I'll see you guys later." Jared waved and then put his arm around Kim's waist and they left. Quil, Paul, Embry and Seth sat there wagering on who could eat the most hot dogs. "Hands down Paul." Quil piped up. "Nah Jacob could eat us all under the table." Seth spoke. "I agree with Seth." Embry said. "No way Jacob couldn't finish that last hot dog tonight." Paul reminded everyone. "Maybe Quil's right." Embry suggested. I sat there listen to them. Then Seth whispered, "How many do you think Leah could eat." They each took a quick nonchalant glance in my direction and shrugged.

Sam and Emily sat there while Billy, Old Quil, and my mom talked. "So how are the kids adjusting to everything?" Old Quil asked. "Seth's been really good. I know he misses Harry. When we've gone out together he says, "Oh dad would have loved this." He get's a little teary eyed. Leah on the other hand." My mom looked into the fire, "I don't know. I"m not sure if she's in denial or what. I think she blames herself. She doesn't talk about him. She acts as though nothing ever happened. It almost seem's like she pretends he's in another room or he's out of fishing or something. I've noticed that she's moved his keys so there not just sitting there. She's put his jacket out of sight. It worries me." My mom looked up from the fire at me. I heard everything she said. I stood up quietly and started running off into the woods. "Leah. Wait." my mom called. My mom looked down and the tears streamed down. "This is what I mean. What am I doing wrong?" Billy patted her shoulder, "It's not you Sue. Rebecca and Rachel didn't deal well with Sarah's death." Seth looked hurt. "Do you think she phased?" Emily whispered to Sam. He shrugged, "It's hard to tell with her. She can phase and if I phase I could hear her. If she hears my thoughts she may try blocking her thoughts and then well I don't know where to find her. I could follow her scent." My mom looked up, "Let her have some time to herself. That may be the problem. Everyone is so concerned and she may feel like we're crowding her." They nodded, "If she doesn't come home tonight then we'll look for her." Sam looked at my mom. "If you sense a real concern then yes. If not let her come home when she's ready." Paul got to his feet along with Embry and grabbed some buckets with water and poured them on the fire. Sam helped Billy back to the road to get him home. Old Quil walked with Quil Ateara. Emily walked with my mom and Seth to our house. Once I was in the woods I stopped running and slipped out of my clothes and tied them to my hind leg and the phase happened.

Seth was the first one in the door and he went straight to my room and looked for me, "She's not home yet mom." My mom came in and slipped out of her jacket and hung it up and sat down on the couch, "Thanks hun." Emily came in and shut the door. "You wanna give Charlie a call and give him a head's up?" My mom thought about it and Seth came out and joined her on the couch, "That might be a good idea." my mom said and got up to get the phone and called Charlie. The phone rang a few times, "Hello." Charlie answered. "Hi Charlie it's Sue." she stood there looking at the door. "Hi Sue. Wait what's wrong. It's rather late. Is everything ok?" Charlie's voice showed the concern. My mom sighed, "Leah's taken off into the woods." Charlie cleared his throat rubbing the back of his neck, "Ok. Well if she doesn't come home tonight let me know in the morning. I will come by and we'll see if we can find her. Night Sue." Charlie hung up. My mom hung up the phone and returned to the couch. "Well Charlie said, if she doesn't come home tonight call him in the morning." my mom sat there and looked out the window. Sam walked in the front door, "Any word on her yet?" he was curious. "Nope. Sue's spoken to Charlie. If she doesn't come home by the morning she's going to call him back." Sam sat down in my dad's chair, Emily sat on his lap. "She's got a lot going on. It's only been about 3 months since everything happened." Seth sat quietly and looked at a picture of my dad and him when they went fishing together. "I'm going to go to sleep. I'm tired. Night everyone." he got up and went into his room and shut the door quietly. He kicked off his shoes, and laid down falling asleep in his clothes. "What do we do about Leah? I'm just so worried about her. She's so unstable right now." my mom looked at Sam and Emily. "I could go look for her but I don't know how much good that would do." My mom nodded understanding, "Let's see what happens. If she doesn't come home tonight then I will call Charlie." Emily stood up and Sam followed, "Get some sleep. We'll call you in the morning to see what we can find out." they both hugged my mom and left.

Mean while I was deep in the woods now. I slowed my pace down. I was alone with my thoughts. I can't continue to be strong any more. Then I realized I need to be strong for Jacob. He needs someone for when, she decides to become one of them. It's only a few weeks away now. My mind slowly wandered as I moved through the woods. Each thud as my paws hit the ground reminded me of that night and it sent my head spinning. Thud, my paw hits the ground. Thud my dad hits the ground. Thud, my paw hits the ground. Thud my dad hits the ground. Thud, my paw hits the ground. Thud my dad hits the ground. Seth's voice screeched through my head, "DAD!" The days events ran through my head as I ran. I was running faster trying to get away from the memories of that day until I couldn't run from them anymore. I could smell the hospital all over again, " , I'm . I was the doctor who took care of your husband. When he came in he wasn't responsive. There was no pulse or heart beat. We tried for over half an hour to resuscitate him." The doctor inhaled deeply. "I'm so sorry but he didn't make it." I growled as it replayed, "I'm so sorry but he didn't make it. I'm so sorry but he didn't make it." I took off running again full speed now. I got to the edge of a river and phased back and I untied my clothes and put them back on.

I squatted by the water and placed my hand in the water. It would be freezing to any average human. It felt nice for me. I stood back up and found a tree that must have fallen some time ago. There was moss that had grown all over it. I sat down and leaned against the tree. The moss felt like a pillow against the back of my head. It was some time in the middle of the night because the moon had shifted. There was a slight glimmer on the water from the moon light. That's when I realized I was missing out on so much with my dad. I wanted to tell him how I heard the tribes stories. Us chasing after the red head. Just little things like that. I think I'm in denial, disbelief what ever you call it. When I saw my dad in the coffin he wasn't wearing his hat, his jacket or his wedding ring. It didn't look like him. I feel like nobody can understand where my mind is. My life is like a ship stuck at sea. There have been these horrible storms that just use the ocean as a weapon. It takes these small waves and turns them into violent surges of power. The waves beat the ship and after a while the ship can't with stand the beating anymore and sadly it gives up. I fell asleep leaning against the down tree. When I woke I'm not quite sure what time of day it was. There was some light and, the sky was overcast.

Back at home my mom was worried and hadn't heard from me now since the tribal meeting. She woke up early and called Charlie. "Hello." Charlie answered. "Charlie it's Sue." Charlie cleared his throat, "Ok so I guess she didn't come home. I will be right there." he hung up the phone and was at the house in a flash. There was a knock on the front door. She got up answering it, "Charlie." she hugged him tightly. "Sorry to start your day like this. Please come in." she sat down on the couch. Charlie was in his uniform, "Any sign of her. Did she call or even come home to get some items of hers?" he sat down in my dad's chair. "There's been nothing. She's never done this before. She was so upset." Charlie was really nervous especially with everything going on in Seattle and it being just a few hours away. "I'm going to let all the officers know to keep a look out for her. If we don't hear from her by tonight we'll start searching for her. We'll put together posters. I just need a picture." my mom handed him one of me smiling. "Sue I promise we'll find her." her eyes were red from crying, "Thank you." she hugged Charlie. "Anytime. I need to head down to the station and I will let you know if I hear anything." Charlie let himself out. My mom just sat on the couch watching tv. Seth got up and was trying to keep his normal routine. Every so often my mom would get up and check my room to see if I snuck in. My bed sat there made never being touched. Seth sat with my mom. "Any word on her yet?" his voice was soft and cracked a little. He was fighting back the tears. "Not yet hun. Charlie is working on posters that they can hang around town."

I sat not moving and watched as the day passed by. Then night fall came. "Dad please let me know your still around me. I can't feel you at all." I was talking to myself like an idiot. The night grew darker and my stomach startled to growl a little. I ignored the hunger starting to creep up on me. One of my last thoughts before I drifted off to sleep was, maybe one day I'd feel complete. Right now there's a missing piece to me. I'm missing that one important puzzle piece in order to complete the picture. So I will sit up on that shelf until someone finds that piece and completes me. I was groggy when I came around the next day. I was feeling a bit shaky and really starting to get hungry now. I slowly got to my feet and started to walk a little. My balance was a little off and I thought that was odd. As I walked I wondered, "Do we purposely gang up on ourselves?" I knew I allowed my conscience to do this to me. Then I started pondering, "What's worse, watching someone you love die, or them dying and you never getting that chance to say goodbye?" The wind was starting to pick up and it was getting stronger by the minute. It seemed like a storm might be moving in. The sky grew dark quickly and it started to rain. I started to stumble over downed trees and slid in the mud. I finally had to stop and rest.

Back at the house there was a knock on the front door. Seth got up answering it. "Hey I heard about Leah. Any word yet?" Jacob was there with Billy. "Not yet. Come in." Seth moved out of the way and took his seat back on the couch. Billy wheeled himself in with Jacob following behind and shutting the door. "So when did she take off? When I left with Bella she was still at the circle with all of you." My mom looked up, "The council elders were just talking amongst themselves. Old Quil asked how Leah and Seth were doing these past few months since Harry's death. I told him about Leah putting away her fathers jacket and keys out of sight. She's trying to distract her self. She's not come to terms with his death yet. She got up off the ground and left. I thought maybe she came home but there was no sign of her." Jacob sighed, "I could sense the tension last night from her. She does not like Bella. Plus Leah was sitting right across the fire from Sam and Emily. That's tough enough." Seth spoke, "I understand the whole Sam and Emily thing but, Bella?" Jacob nodded, "It's a long story but, Leah see's Bella almost as a Sam." Seth was a little confused. There was another knock on the door and Sam and Charlie walked in.

Charlie sat down beside my mom still in his uniform. The clock was reading 5:08pm. "So has there been any news on Leah?" my mom asked looking hopeful. Charlie held his hands together, "After we hung up some posters we received a call. Someone said they saw a female matching Leah's description out on highway 101 near Bogachiel State Park. I headed over but found nobody there. I left the poster with a park ranger over there. There's been no sign of anybody matching that description they've seen. Have you had any calls?" My mom shook her head, "There's been nothing. I've called everywhere." Billy looked out the window and saw the sky get dark fast, "We've got a storm coming in. We've got to keep looking and we're losing light fast." Billy looked at Charlie. "We've got men combing over everything." Charlie told all of them.

The sky was now dark and it was overcast. I wasn't sure where I was. I thought I'd been walking in circles for hours now. "Where am I? Someone please help me. I'm so scared and just want to go home." I sat against the base of a tree. In the distance I could hear the howl of a coyote. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. I tried to find the energy to phase and it wasn't there. That's when I started to cry. I quickly wiped away the tears. I felt around me in the darkness when I found a rather large rock. I started to doze off then there was a howl again. I cringed hearing another howl that was a slightly higher pitch. I sat there listening to the howls hearing them get a little closer each time. Then finally there was whimpering and the howling moved far enough away I could no longer hear it. I wondered if maybe one of the Cullen's got hungry and was having a midnight snack. Finally I gave up trying to fight off the sleep as I slowly slid off into a light sleep.

The night quietly passed as Charlie, Billy, Jacob and Sam looked over the maps.. "We've searched all over La Push and no sign of her. We've combed the woods close by and nothing. We're going to resume the search in the morning in these parts." Charlie pointed to the Bogachiel State Park area. The clock on the wall read 11:45pm. Charlie decided it was time to head home and he dropped Billy off along the way. Sam went home shortly after Billy and Charlie left. Jacob spent the night at our house. He knew my mom needed to get some rest. He crashed on the couch. He was woken up to a light knock on the door. He got up answering it and Charlie was standing there, "Hey Charlie." Jacob moved out of the doorway. "Is Sue awake yet?" he asked. "No. So does Bella have any idea what's going on?" Charlie shook his head, "No. I don't want her worried about Leah. I know they don't hang out but still. Leah is your friend after all." Jake nodded. A sleepy looking Seth and my mom emerged from their rooms and joined Jacob and Charlie in the living room. "Hey Charlie." Seth said rubbing his eyes. My mom yawned, "Sorry good morning Charlie." Charlie nodded, "I'm about to head out and start looking for her myself. Sam is planning on coming with me. Jacob if you'd like to join us your dad said it would be fine." Jake nodded, "Alright sounds good." My mom watched as Jacob and Charlie left to go look for me.

I woke up and my clothes were soaking wet. I looked around and slowly stood up a bit wobbly on my feet. I started the trek through the woods again. Everything was covered in water. The river flowed fast and furious. It must have rained really hard while I slept. Luckily the tall pine tree's provided some shelter. I decided to try and phase one more time. I stripped out of my soaking wet clothes and tried to run. I more or less, stumbled a bit and phased for a few seconds and kept thinking, "Help me, please." I kept trying to run. I was stumbling badly, "LEAH!" was all I heard then it was gone. I collapsed on the ground and had phased back. I slowly made my way back to my clothes putting them on and started to walk. I called out, "JACOB." there was no response. The sky was overcast, but there was daylight. It must have been early morning. There was a fog moving through out the trees. I started to feel shaky. I hadn't had anything to eat for a while now. The ground started to move underneath me without my feet moving. I reached out for a tree trunk and just barely caught it. Instead my face met the tree, hitting my left cheek and catching my eye. The pain surged through my face as I hit the ground face first. I laid there for a minute trying to regain my composure. My face was red, throbbing and, slightly swollen and filthy. I sat up a little bit looking around and then just laid down again on the wet ground. I didn't have it in me to try anymore. My eyes slowly shut as I fell asleep.

Charlie and Sam met up together. Jacob had gone off into the woods on his own and phased. He was running when he heard me, "Help me please. Jacob." he stopped running and looked around, "LEAH!" He started running at full speed through the woods. "Leah come on where are you? Please answer me." Charlie looked around, "Where'd Jacob go?" Sam spoke calmly, "He took off into the woods to look for her. He know's the woods like the back of his hand. If he finds anything he'll let us know." Charlie nodded grabbing the map, "Ok let's head this way." they started making their way through the woods heading south. Jacob was running with full speed. Once he saw me, he phased back to human, He untyied the clothes he had, from his leg and quickly threw them on. He ran over, "Leah, please answer me." He carefully turned me over seeing the black and blue bruise and, the swelling on my cheek. "Dammit." he looked around for any sign of the others. "I will be right back I promise." He leaned down and kissed me lightly on the forehead and was running in human form as fast as he could, "CHARLIE, SAM." Sam looked up hearing Jacob, "What is it?" Charlie looked at Sam, "I thought I heard Jacob calling our names." Charlie and Sam started running in the direction Sam heard Jake. "Jacob where are you?" Charlie called out. Jacob came running up practically knocking both of them over, "I found her. About a mile in this direction. She's soaking wet. She looks like she's in rough shape. She hit her face. There's a nasty bruise. She has dirt all across her face. She's laying on the ground. She's breathing but not responding." They looked at each other and Charlie was on his radio, "Dispatch it's Chief Swan." Dispatch replied, "Dispatch Chief." Charlie spoke, "Leah Clearwater has been found. We're going to her location now. Send an ambulance to the side of highway 101 where command central is. Please call her mother." Dispatch replied, "Copy that. Ambulance is en-route." Charlie, Sam and Jacob we're all running now. Jacob was beside me was back beside me, "Her skin's cool. Her clothes are drenched." Charlie was on the ground looking me over, "Leah hun can you hear me. I have medics on the way. We're trying to get a hold of your mom." Charlie felt for a pulse and took his jacket off covering me up. "She's got a strong pulse. She's breathing. Her face is pretty banged up." Charlie spoke. Sam looked at Jacob and Charlie. "Let's get her back towards the road." Jacob picked me up in his arms and carried me back.

Once we were back on the side of the road the ambulance was already there. The medics were outside with all their equipment set up and they had the stretcher out. Jacob laid me down on the stretcher. My mom was there, "Leah sweetie can you hear me." She quickly grabbed blankets and started covering me up. She started taking my vitals, "Her vitals are ok. And it doesn't appear she has any injuries except for the bruise on her face." Charlie squatted beside the stretcher. "Leah can you hear me?" he held my hand. "Leah please wake up." Jacob stood there watching. I squinted moaning. "LEAH!" my mom and Charlie hugged me tightly. "Are you ok? Are you hurt?" I sat up slowly, "Whoa, take it easy." Charlie pushed me back gently, so I would lay down. Jacob and Sam were standing there. "Oh my face hurts. Where am I ?" my voice was soft and weak. My mom looked at me smiling, "Your on the side of highway 101. They found you in the woods about a mile from the road." I slowly blinked and saw Jacob and smiled, "Hey." He smiled back, "You scared me pretty good. Don't do that again ok." I smiled, "So when can we go home? I'm exhausted and filthy." Charlie looked at me, "Are you sure your ok?" I nodded slowly. "Yes. I just want to take a hot shower and go lay down in my bed." My mom stood up, "Leah I really want you to get checked out. You were out there for a couple of days." I sighed, "Mom I got dizzy and fell. I've not had anything to eat." My mom looked at me, "Well your probably dehydrated." She and Charlie exchanged glances. Charlie spoke, "Let's let her go home get cleaned up and rest for a while. If she's not feeling any better then take her to the hospital." My mom sighed, "Ok." Charlie helped me sit up slowly. I swayed a little sitting there. My mom and Charlie helped me up on my feet. "My car's just over here." she nodded towards her car just behind Charlie's cruiser. She held onto me with Charlie on the other side.

Jacob waited for a second and turned to Sam, "Good job alpha, stay away from Leah. Your just like the leech that Bella's in love with. You make her fall in love, then you run away, and she's left sitting there wondering what she did wrong. Here's the one difference between you and Cullen, Cullen came back and took care of his girl. You dumped your's just to get with her cousin. Oh wait I'm sorry you "imprinted" on her. I find that to be a load of crap." Sam was pissed at Jacob, "Whatever Jacob. You can't have both girls you know." Sam nodded at me. "Oh I don't want Leah. I love her as a friend. I'm just picking up the pieces of her heart you shattered." Sam stood there his nostrils flaring, "I'm your Alpha Jacob Black and don't forget that. I deserve respect. I'm the Alpha of this pack." Jacob grinned, "Sam don't forget who gave you that title, stupid dog." Sam snapped, "Then your a dog as well Black." Jacob was right in Sam's face. There was maybe 2 inches separating their face's. "A REAL Alpha doesn't treat his pack members like you do. Running away and not telling anyone where you've gone. Now I would never do that to MY PACK. So care to explain who the "REAL ALPHA" is again." Sam's face turned red under his skin. "Oh what's wrong Sam? Did I hurt the feelings you lack. I need to go be with Leah. Show her that a real Alpha care's what happens. Maybe there's a tree you should go mark." Jacob turned to walk away and Sam grabbed Jacob's arm, "The elders are going to hear about this." Jacob snarled, "Get your filthy paws off of me." he yanked away. Charlie happened to notice the commotion, "Sam, Jacob knock it off." Charlie was in the middle of them, "What's going on with the two of you. Your acting like a pack of crazed wolves." Sam turned and walked off. Charlie lowered his hand from Jacob, "Are you ok?" Jake nodded, "I'm fine Charlie."

Jacob walked over to my mom's car and climbed in the backseat with me, "Hey buddy. Come here." he pulled me over to him and wrapped his arms around me. "Everyone ready to get going." my mom asked and Jacob nodded. "Sue I will meet you back at the house." Charlie said and then climbed in his cruiser. She started the car and we were off. Charlie followed behind us in his cruiser. "Jake what did you say to Sam?" Jacob grinned, "Nothing don't worry about it. Just a simple misunderstanding." I smiled and dozed off against him. When I woke up Jacob was pulling me out of the car, "Hey you ok to walk or you want me to carry you. I don't mind looking like a hero." he grinned. I laughed, "I'll walk." He set me down and I slowly walked inside holding onto him. Seth sprang to his feet, "Oh my god Leah." he hugged me a little too tight, "Can't breath." He let go backing up, "Sorry." Jacob hugged me lightly, "I'm going to go home and catch some sleep. I'm glad you're safe. I will call you later." he kissed me on the cheek and he left. Billy sat quietly and looked at my mom, "She's going to get through this. It's just going to take time." his smile helped ease her worry. "How are you feeling?" Billy asked. "I'm ok. A little shaky and exhausted." I smiled faintly. "Well we're all glad your home safely." Billy smiled.

My mom helped me to my room, "Do you want privacy or do you need some help?" I was still wobbly. "Can you just help me." she nodded. I was changed and in the bathroom and enjoyed the hot shower. I got out and felt so much better. "Ok bed for you now. I will bring you in something to eat and some water. After you eat please rest." I nodded and made my way to my room and put on some sweat pants and a t-shirt and crawled under the blankets. My mom went out and made me a sand which and came back with that and some water, "Here sweetie. Eat what you can." she sat the plate down on my lap and the water on my night stand. I slowly ate and she watched me quietly, "Promise me you'll talk to me when your feeling better." I nodded handing the plate to her after eating half the sand which. "Ok get some rest. I love you Leah." I started to cry a little as she leaned down hugging me, "I love you too mom." She kissed my cheek, "Sweet dreams." and left the room. I turned off the light and fell asleep rather fast.

My mom came into to check on me once more. She took my vitals and placed a cool wash cloth on my cheek. The beauty of her being a nurse was, I was able to avoid the hospital. She walked out to the living room where Charlie was sitting with Seth, "She's ok. She checks out fine. She's physically exhausted." Charlie nodded, "I'm glad she's going to be ok. I need to head down to the station and do some paperwork. I will call you later." he left quietly. Seth slipped into my room and watched me sleep for a while until it was dinner time. I slept through dinner. Finally around 9 o'clock my mom came into my room and sat down in my room and watched me for a while. When it was time for her to turn in she tucked me in. She leaned down kissing my cheek, "Goodnight Leah. I love you." She quietly stood up and went to bed herself.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 ~ The Objection**

My sleep was uninterrupted. I didn't toss and turn until the dream. I was in the woods and I was running. I must have been in wolf form because I could hear Jacob's thoughts and they were scaring me. "Run faster. Just get away from her. Come on legs move." I was running at full speed or at least what I thought was full speed. I had Jacob's scent then a familiar scent that I was following. "Jake who's chasing you?" I kept running through the moon lit woods. I could hear the thudding as he ran away from whatever was chasing him. I caught sight of a blur of blue, brown, red and green. I wasn't quite sure what it was then it dawned on me. It was a vampire. Panic set in. There was a vampire after my Jacob. I tried to faster it seemed like my legs just slowed down.

I could hear him again, "Please don't kill me. I'm your friend. I love you." I was starting to catch up to them which meant they were slowing down. Before I realized it we were at the edge of the cliffs. I saw Jacob inches from the edge. There was a female with long brown hair flowing in the breeze. Her green shirt was pale in the moonlight against her blue jeans. I growled loudly at her. That's when I saw the moonlight shine against her red eyes. She turned to look at me and this snarl came from her. Then I recognized her. It was Bella. She was a vampire, a newborn.

Jacob's thoughts were racing, "Please don't hurt me Bella. I'm your best friend. Bella I love you." Jacob whimpered. I've never heard him whimper or plead like this. This growl came from Bella, "Friend? I beg to differ. You're a mutt. A filthy, mangy mutt. Edward was right about you." Jacob was so hurt. I could hear his thoughts and I cringed. I watched as he let his head fall and look at the ground.I growled loudly at her. She whipped around and looked at me, "Who do you think you are growling at?" I growled louder and within a second she had her arms around Jakes neck. His thoughts were all jumbled together with, fear, chaos, panic, anger, and hurt. I moved closer and she tightened her grip. How could a Jake let her do this to him. He was a strong wolf and he couldn't break free of her grip. "Leah back off." Bella spoke. I decided I couldn't let her hurt him. I lunged at her my teeth sinking into her arm.

I was thrown like a rag doll. I got back up and ran at her when I heard the snap, and then the, THUD! She let just let his body fall to the ground. It was like he meant nothing to her. She just looked at me, "He's be alive if you'd only listened and backed off. Oh well now you can blame yourself for this death." She was gone in an instant.

I startled awake screaming, "JACOB!" My mom came running in my room, "Leah what's wrong?" I sat up panting covered in sweat. "Jacob, where is he? Is he ok? She didn't hurt him did she?" I was so panicked. My mom brushed the hair out of my face, "Sweetie he's fine. He called really early this morning before you woke up to check on you. I told him your were fine and that you were asleep. He said he'd call later and maybe try and stop by." I looked at the clock 2:45pm. I slept the whole day away, "Oh man." My mom smiled, "It's ok hun. Billy is in the living room. He came over to visit for a bit. He wanted to check up on you also. Seth's been picking on you again while you slept. He said, Charlie received a noise disturbance call from your snoring. Then he asked who left a motor boat in the house. He finally gave up about an hour ago." I rolled my eyes, "How nice." She just smiled, "Let me go make you some lunch. Go take a shower and get cleaned up. I will leave some fresh towels on the toilet for you." my mom left the room and I slowly was on my feet.

Inside the bathroom on the toilet were the towels like she promised. I shut the door and turned on the hot water and started the shower. The bathroom fogged as I slid out of my clothes, letting them land on the floor in a pile. I stood there and washed up. After I was clean I leaned against the shower wall. The hot water trickled along my skin not phasing me. There was a light knock on the door, "Leah, your lunch is on the table." I shut off the water and opened the curtain, "Ok mom." I grabbed my towels drying off and threw them in the hamper and grabbed my bathrobe off the back of the door and tied it around me.

I slipped quietly across the hall into my room and shut the door. I rummaged through my drawers finding a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and pulled a gray hooded sweat shirt out of my closet and was dressed in seconds. I sat down on my bed and looked at the picture of my dad and I sitting on my desk. I was happy and smiling and so was he. I heard the wind chimes hanging by the front door sing softly. I could hear my dad whispering, "Leah be the strong woman you are. Have the courage The Third Wife did. I'm always with you." I looked around my room and nobody was there. Mean while out in the living room Seth sat on the floor, my mom was curled up on the couch and Billy was beside the couch. "So how is she doing? She still sounds out of it when she was talking." Seth remarked. "She's getting better. It's going to take a few days for her to come around." my mom smiled at Seth and fiddled with her wedding band. "I'm glad she and Jacob have forged such a good seem to understand one another." Billy smiled.

I let my head fall back against the wall. Seth was standing in front of me. I never heard him come in, "Hey come on out and eat." he smiled putting out a hand for me to get up. I moved to the edge of the bed and stood up taking his hand. "Let me know if you don't think you can make it ok. I will get mom." I smiled at him, "Thanks." I slowly walked to the dining room and sat down and ate half of the sandwich she made me. I ate quietly while Seth sat there watching me. "You all done?" I nodded, "Yeah." Seth took the other half of the sandwich and within seconds it was gone he wasn't even chewing. "Thanks." he smiled. I pushed away from the table and stood up grabbing the plate putting it in the sink.

I walked out to the living room and laid down on the couch resting my head on my mom's lap. "Hello sweetie. How was your lunch?" I spoke softly, "Good. Thank you." she smiled and gently brushed the hair from my face. "I ate the other half she didn't want." Seth said plopping himself down in a chair. "So I was hoping we could have a nice afternoon. Maybe talk a little bit. No arguments. Nobody getting upset and leaving. Calmly talking about stuff." my mom smiled and looked down at me. "Well I think the big question is how are you doing Leah? We mean overall. You haven't said much since your dad died. I know your very angry. It's quite understandable." I closed my eyes and swallowed hard before I spoke, "You never realize how much you truly miss someone and, love them until they're no longer here to talk to. It sucks." a few tears slipped down my cheek and Seth handed me a tissue. "I agree with Leah. It's weird not having him around. Being able to talk to him. Hearing his laugh. It's still strange." My mom smiled, "I miss his smile. I miss the talks before we fell asleep at night." Billy nodded, "I miss his home made Fish Fry." We all laughed as Billy tried to cheer us all up. "I want to apologize for putting away dad's things. It makes it easier to not see his stuff around. I think I find it easier to think that he's off fishing. I think he's spending time with Charlie. I'm not ready to accept that he won't ever walk through that door again. It's been easier for me to be angry and just be numb towards everything." My mom smiled, "I'm so glad your being honest with us. This means a lot. It's going to be tough. Don't blame yourself for what happened. It's not your fault. I'm a nurse and there was nothing I could do. Everyone has their time and it was his. It sounds harsh but it's reality." I sat up and up wiped away the tears that were now falling down my cheek. Seth came over and hugged me tightly. "I just wonder why him. He was supposed to see me get married. Walk me down the aisle." then I looked down. "Leah I know. He'll always be with you in spirit." Billy spoke and I nodded.

It must have been around 6:00pm when there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it." Seth was off the couch and opened the door, "Hey Charlie what's up?" Seth grinned and moved out of the way letting Charlie in. "Hey everyone. I wanted to come by and check on Leah. So I see your up. How are you feeling?" I shrugged, "Ok. Just tired." he smiled. "So Bella broke her hand today." everyone looked and raised an eyebrow. "How did she do that?" my mom was concerned. "Well I guess Jacob kissed her and she punched him in the face. Edward came by and picked her up to have her checked out by . It was pretty swollen when she left. All I know is Jacob and Edward were outside talking for a few minutes before they left. Jacob left after they did. I'm not sure where he went." I sighed, "Wow. So is Jacob ok?" I was curious. Charlie laughed, "Oh he's fine. Not even a scratch on that kid." Billy shook his head, "My son learned his lesson I hope." Charlie shrugged, "Who knows. Probably. They're young. All I know is he went outside and talked with Edward. They both stayed very calm." I was dying to know what the leech said to Jake.

The days passed rather uneventfully. I took that as a blessing. I didn't have to hear the pack's thoughts about their imprints, or whatever it may be. I was free. I stayed around the house. Then when my mom went to town to run a few errands I tagged along. The house would just get too quiet. Sunday afternoon Jacob called and informed me to get ready he was coming over. I had already been up for a while when I headed out to the living room. He came by and picked me up and we headed down to the beach. "So Bella broke her hand punching me in the face." he grinned. I just burst out laughing, "Yeah Charlie told us. What was up with that. Did you make fun of her leech again and she lost it?" Jacob shook his head, "No. I confessed my feelings. Told her how I truly felt about her and the decisions she was making. I took the opportunity and kissed her. Well she didn't like it and bang then a crunch and she yelped." I tried to fight back the grin, "Wow humans will never understand. Well at least she doesn't." We sat down on a piece of drift wood, "So she's graduating tomorrow. Invited me to her party. The psychic leech is throwing it for her." I raised an eyebrow, "Well are you going to go. I wouldn't. I think it's walking on dangerous ground. You'll be in a house full of leeches." He looked at me, "I'm not sure. She's my friend. This may be the last time I get to see her." I huffed, "Your funeral dude. Just realize that." He looked at me, "Leah they won't hurt me. There will be other people there from her school I assume." I shook my head, "What if a Cullen get's hungry. I doubt they can control themselves. Savages." Jacob straightened up, "What's up with you and the remarks. I'm not going to be a meal for them. Quite frankly they smell horrible to me. I probably don't smell that much better to them." I was trying to stay calm. You have nothing to worry about." I looked down at the sand below my feet, "You don't understand. Jacob none of us can save you. We'd have no idea if you were in trouble." Jacob smiled, "Leah trust me. I will be fine. She won't let anything happen to me. She care's about me too much." I stood up and looked down at him, "Who are you kidding! Please if she cared about you she'd re-consider her choice. She'd leave him and be with you. She wouldn't sit there and lead you on. She wants to become our ENEMY JACOB! What don't you get about that?!" Jacob stood up and looked at me, "What's your problem Leah? Your so huffy about all of this." I felt my face turn red, "Because she's hurting you. She doesn't care. I've heard your thoughts. I know how you feel. She's a heartless person. She's a selfish BITCH." The words escaped me and I covered my mouth. Jacob's eyes went wide, "Excuse me. Look who's talking. We all have to relive the anger and hatred you have towards Sam for hurting you, and being with Em. Get over it. He's imprinted on her." I was so angry now I balled up my fists. It took all the strength I had not to hit Jacob, "I... I thought you were my friend." I shoved past him and walked home.

Once I was inside the house I went to my room. "Well hello to you too." Seth said. My mom poked her head out of the kitchen, "What did you say?" He looked at her, "Leah just came in and went to her room." My mom walked down the hallway to my room lightly knocking on the door, "Leah, can I come in?" I laid on my bed my face buried into my pillow. It was wet from me crying. The door handle slowly turned and the door opened. She walked over and sat down on the edge of my bed, "Sweetie what's wrong. Talk to me." My face was burning hot. I was so angry and crying didn't help. I rolled over to my back and looked at her, "Oh hun why are you crying?" I sat up slowly, "I don't feel good." I was off my bed in the bathroom with my face over the toilet. My sides ached from being sick. I was all sweaty. My mom rubbed my back and called out to Seth, "Seth, can you please help me out. I need you to come here. Your sister is sick." He tossed the remote on the couch and was in the doorway in seconds, "What do you need me to do?" My mom looked up, "I need you to fix her bed so she can just lay down. So pull down the blankets. Also grab a bucket for her and a small glass of water on her night stand." he nodded and disappeared. "I'm sorry mom." she smiled and continued rubbing my back. "Leah shh. Don't apologize hun. You've probably picked up some bug. If you think your all done let's get you to bed." I slowly stood up and she flushed the toilet and walked with me to my room. "Just lay down hun and get some sleep." she shut off the light and left my room, leaving the door open just a crack.

The night passed quietly. I stirred a few times. At one point I cracked open my bedroom window. The cool night air felt nice against my hot skin. I grabbed the small glass of water and sipped it. It felt so good on my dry lips. I finished it and laid back down. Tonight I could hear the waves of the ocean. I focused on it and found myself unable to fight the heaviness that was now apparent taking over my eyelids. I gave in and fell back to sleep. The next day was uneventful. Jacob must be stressed because it was finally Bella's graduation day. It meant she was becoming one of them very soon. The day passed quietly and I spent most of it in my room. Seth had gone out and my mom was cleaning. By the time dinner as ready Seth had just come home. "Go wash up. Dinner's ready." my mom smiled as I came out and sat down. I was waiting for dinner. It smelled delicious. She had made lasagna. Finally Seth was at the table along with my mom and we dug in. There wasn't much dinner talk and I'm not quite sure why. I wasn't complaining. After dinner we all made our way to the living room. My mom and Seth were laughing at whatever was on the tv. I sat there quietly writing in my journal.

Well I don't know where my life's going. Things are so out of place. I don't know who I am. I used to be a normal girl with a normal life. I realize that we all wear masks to hide our true selves from others. I'm sitting there putting on this tough persona which isn't me. I'm dying inside. I'm so lonely. I have nobody to confide in. I know I can talk to Jacob but he has his own issue's right now. I used to be abel to tell Emily anything but, that's gone. I think I'm going to put a lock on my hear so nobody can ever hurt me again. I realized everything takes time. With time comes knowledge and closure. When will it happen for me. I noticed a small quote from Lao Tzu at the bottom of the page, "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." Well I guess all my strength has been stolen from me. My courage I'm not quite to sure about. I blew up on Jake and I didn't mean to. I was never like this before. I wish I could erase the memories of Sam and I. Be able to say I've moved on, but it's all coming back when I'm alone. I can't believe I'm still in love with him and I hate it.

My mom was getting tired and dozed off on the couch beside me. Seth flipped to something else on the tv. I shut my journal and set it on the coffee table. It was late that's all I knew when there was a knock on the door. Jacob, Quil and Embry were standing there when I opened it, "Uh hi." Jacob spoke with no emotion to his voice, "Sam needs us all tonight. That includes Seth." I raised and eyebrow, "Why's that?" Jacob just looked at me, "While I was at Bella's party, well I was told about these vampires that are after Bella. Anyways I told Sam and he's asked me to let everyone else know. We're meeting up with them at 3:00am." I was confused, "Uh with who?" Jacob's jaw clenched, "The Cullen's." I shook my head, "Whoa no way. Listen you can hang with them. I will do nothing that endangers my life." Seth chimed in quickly, "Hey I'm game. I will see you later." Jacob smirked at me and left with Quil and Embry. I shut the door and looked at Seth and shook my head. I gently nudged my mom and told her about Sam's orders and she nervously agreed.

Seth and I left together and went into the woods and stripped from our clothing tying it to our legs and we phased. I made sure to shut off all my thoughts. Seth on the other hand was like a teenage girl. "Oh my god I'm in wolf form. I'm with the pack. This is so cool. Oh wow." I shook my head and walked up beside him and we went to find Sam. When we met up with the others they were snickering, "A little excited are we Seth?" Quil thought. Seth nodded up and down. Collin and Brady stayed quiet. They're thoughts were racing. I'm not quite sure who was thinking what. They we're uneasy. We came up on the clearing and stayed hidden within the trees. The Cullen's were already there waiting.

The leader spoke, "Welcome." Sam thought, "Thank you." The male standing beside Bella spoke Sam's thoughts. The mind reader I realized. Sam's thoughts were there again, "We will watch and listen, but no more. That's the most we can ask of our self control." Carlisle nodded. They continued to speak to one another using the the leech beside Bella to translate. We were told how the newborns were different from the Cullen's. We stood silently watching two of the males get ready to show us how to fight the newborns. Carlisle moved out of the way and Jasper took over speaking, "Emmett is like a newborn. He relies on his strength." Emmett charged at Jasper but never caught him. "Wow he's impulsive like Paul." Jared thought. The rest of us grinned. "Shut up." Paul thought back. Seth gave a mental grin, "I think Leah is like the blonde female. They both seem to be bitchy and hate everything." There were snickers through all of their thoughts. I growled a little. Edward smirked slightly. "How about all of you shut up." I thought in a nasty tone. Sam thought, "Calm down now. You're wolves, not puppies." I thought back, "There are a few in this group that are." Paul's thoughts were loud, "Yeah like your brother and you Leah." Seth whined a little, "I'm not a puppy. I'm just a young wolf." Paul kept going, "Keeping telling yourself that. Your sister is like a Doberman Pincher." They all snickered and a grin was on Edward's face. "Well at least I have manners and don't lick myself in the company of others pooch." Paul growled and Jacob fought back a grin. "Leah stop it now." Sam thought in a stern tone. "What the hell? You don't get after them for giving me a hard, but it's ok for them to do it to me." Sam's thoughts were quiet for a moment, "Leah I did ask them to calm down." I was furious, "Oh wow all mighty alpha. Want an award? Oh wait maybe a true alpha should get it, maybe Jacob?" the thought was harsh. "Enough Leah!" Sam was trying to keep calm. "No it's not enough. You push us around and we're supposed to kiss your ass because your in charge. I hate you so much." Embry didn't think anything. Quil was next, "Leah please don't get so upset. Paul doesn't know when to stop." Paul thought, "She's just a piece of over emotional baggage in this pack." Sam sighed, "Stop it now the two of you." Paul growled, "Sticking up for her Sam. Real smooth." Sam thought, "Paul shut it now. I'm not sticking up for her." I was angry, "That's right Paul he won't stick up for me. I'm not Emily. I'm not scarred physically, only emotionally because of him." Sam's thoughts went blank. "Damn Leah." Jared thought. I let my thoughts wander and started wondering if it was Quil, Sam's or Jacob's father who got stepped out of line and was with Embry's mom. They shifted uncomfortably. "Leah stop it now." Sam thought. I thought back, "Oh no Sam. I'm just getting started." I started paying attention again to the the Cullen's. I sat there picturing Emily's scared face and I could tell Sam was wincing because his thoughts just went quiet.

The movement was so fluid. It was rather interesting watching them. They moved quicker than any human ever could. They finished and, Jasper had a short female who looked like a pixie come forward. She danced around quietly never being caught. Bella was on edge. Her body language gave it away. The male and short female were finished. All of the sudden the small female replaced the males position beside Bella, "I've got my eye on you, Bella." the small female said. I thought that was strange. We stood watching quietly. The training had finally wrapped up and I was glad, "Finally." I thought. Sam thought it would be good if we got to know each of the Cullen's scents. The hackles on the back of my neck stood up. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a feather. Jacob was right behind Sam. I wanted to get this over with. Jacob grinned and looked more like the hyena from the Lion King with his tongue hanging out to one side then a strong wolf. He was so happy to see Bella. I restrained my thoughts because her leech was right there. I didn't feel like getting into a fight with Sam or the Cullen's. We stood there while Jacob and Bella had their tea party. We took off to the woods after the little gathering was done. My thoughts let go, "Stupid pathetic leeches. Now we're watching them and having lessons shown to us. Taking my life away when it could have been normal. It would have been perfect. The reason my fathers dead. They carry the blood on their hands." Sam's eyes met mine, "Now Leah please calm down." his thoughts were sincere. I growled at him, "I am calm alpha. I'm livid that we're supposed to be ok with them being so close to us. They could attack us at any moment. You brought us there like a buffet for them." Sam looked at me and thought, "Leah there are ten of us and 5 of them. They wouldn't hurt us. They know the treaty." I growled at him and turned and moved away from the pack. If I couldn't get away from them mentally I would at least physically. Jacob came back and phased quietly and went back over to speak with Edward and Bella. I laid down on the ground and rested my head on my paws. "Aww is Weah ok. Don't pout too much girl. You always have a water bowl outside." Paul was thinking. I ignored him and Sam spoke to him, "Really Paul, must you start with her?" Paul didn't respond. Finally Jacob rejoined us in human form, "Hey guys go ahead. I'm going to walk back with Leah. I stood up and stretched as Paul thought, "Your funeral dude. Nice knowing you." I lost it and lunged at Paul. "LEAH NO!" Sam's thoughts were loud. Too late I slammed into Paul knocking him backwards. He growled at me and came at me. I opened my mouth biting him on the neck and he yelped. He came back at me and knocked me down on the ground. I head butted him knocking him back. All of the sudden I was knocked off by Sam, "LEAH BACK OFF NOW! Paul go home NOW!" Sam was in my way of attacking Paul again. I growled at him and he looked deep into my eyes. "Leah as your alpha I am telling you to go home. I will speak with you later." I turned around and walked back behind the trees. Sam nodded at the others and they took off and he followed them back towards La Push.

I phased back and untied my clothes and got dressed. I slowly emerged from the tree's to see Jacob. "Hey." Jake smiled and walked over giving me a hug. I was a bit taken back, "Uh hi." I wasn't sure what to say. "Listen I'm sorry for you getting you dragged into all of this. It's not fare to you." I shrugged. "Are you not speaking to me?" Jacob looked upset. I shook my head no, and pointed towards the clearing. "Oh." was all he said. We walked quietly until I felt it was safe to talk. "So why did you attack Paul? What happened?" I sighed shaking my head, "He's just being his normal jerk self. He said, "Aww is Weah ok. Don't pout too much girl. You always have a water bowl outside." I lost my temper." Jacob nodded. "I see. Are you ok?" I nodded, "Yeah." Jacob smiled, "So listen, I want to apologize for how I treated you a few days ago." I shook my head, "Don't worry about. No hard feelings." He looked at me and smiled a little. "So I have a question for you. If you don't want to answer I understand." Jacob looked at me , "What is it?" I cleared my throat, "So I know your good friends with Quil and Embry but, you seem much closer to Embry. Jacob looked forward again as we walked, "Yeah." I spoked again sighing a little, "Do you think Embry could be your brother. I mean you guys have a lot of similarities. You look like you could be related." Jake stopped and his shoulders dropped, "It's not something I like to think about. I can't remember my parents every arguing. They always seemed so happy. I know someone's father cheated. I like to think better of my dad. We all do well maybe not Sam as much. I've never been able to ask Billy." I felt bad now. I wasn't trying to be a jerk I was just curious and Jacob was my friend. I walked over and hugged him tightly, "I swear to god, if you tell anyone I hugged you I will kill you." He laughed, "I promise I won't tell anyone." We let go of one another and walked back to La Push. He left me at my front door and headed home. I made it inside to my room and fell asleep instantly with one leg hanging off my bed.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20 ~ The Test**

I finally woke up around one o'clock in the afternoon. We didn't get home until sometime after 3:30am. My mom poked her head in my room, "Oh you're awake. Jacob and Sam are here to see you." I begrudgingly rolled off my bed and walked to the front door. I smiled seeing Jake. I just looked at Sam. "Can we go for a walk?" Sam asked. I looked at Jacob and he nodded. "Let's walk then." I said stepping out and shutting the door behind me. My mom just watched as we left. The three of us walked quietly. Jacob was on my right and Sam was on my left. I felt like I was a prisoner being lead to my judgement day. I know it sounds dramatic but the awkwardness and tension between the two was a lot to handle. The anxiety was sitting there in the shadows waiting. Jake lightly brushed my hand. I looked at him and he smiled at me and mouthed, "It will be ok."

Once we got to the beach it was quiet. Sam cleared his throat, "Leah I've told Jacob what happened. He is second in command and, has every right to know. Last night was totally uncalled for. You shouldn't have attacked a fellow pack member." Right there I cut off Sam, "Pardon my language, but that's bullshit. A "fellow" member wouldn't have done what Paul did." Sam moved closer looking at me, "You could have hurt him." I growled, "Are you listening to yourself. Oh wait you must be. You love the sound of your all mighty powerful tone, you use against me. You get a a thrill from it. Knowing that you were everything to me. Now you can control me in your crappy pack. You love pushing me into the dirt. You stand there towering over me, while I'm down and out." Jacob stood there and moved closer gently placing a hand on my shoulder. It took me off guard because he'd never done anything like that before. "Leah stop this insanity. I don't enjoy making you hurt. I hate myself for what happened. You make it seem like I'm a cruel masochistic person, which I'm not. I care about what happens to you." I looked at him and so did Jacob, "I think Leah feels like she's being singled out because, she's the only female in the pack." I shook my head, "It's not that I feel like I'm being singled out, I am. Everyone in that stupid pack doubts me. Jacob's the only one who has my back. So Sam, you all want to be so tough and mighty? Two can play at that game." I raised an eyebrow at him. "Leah what do you want from me?" I was inches from Sam's face, "I want you to act like you care. I want you to act like an alpha who gives a damn. You're not Napoleon. So please climb off of the high horse you're on. I can't take much more of this. I'm not a guard dog for the reservation. I'm a human being. I have feelings." I felt the tears build up in my eyes. "Leah it's our duty to protect our people." Sam spoke. Our grandfathers, fathers and brothers for generations have done this. Now it's our time." Jacob felt my whole body tense up. "Sam the one thing they all had in common was what? They were all males. I'm the only female in all the generations of our people being shape shifters. I'm out of place. I have nobody to ask about it. The one person who was close enough for me, is now gone. It's my fault he's dead. You don't have to carry that guilt with you every day. He would have told me everything. I can't ask any of you." Sam stood there looking at me. Jacob slowly closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Anything I ever cared about is gone. Anything I touch leaves me. I'm alone, more than you think. Your not in my head, even when we phase. You don't get those thoughts. Nobody does except my journal." I gently bit my bottom lip to stop it from quivering. I turned and left walking back towards my house.

"Leah wait for me please." Jacob called out and caught up with me. He took my hands in his and laced his fingers with mine. My heart started to race. I stopped and looked at him, "What Jake? I just want to go home and lay down. I'm exhausted." He just looked at me and smiled. He pulled me close and leaned in and kissed me. His warm soft lips touched mine. My eyes closed and I stood there. It was just this rush of emotions going through my body. His hands slowly moved to my lower back and pulled me closer to him. I stood there motionless. I had no idea what to do. He slowly pulled away and smiled at me. I bit down on my lip unable to make eye contact with him. "I'm sorry about that. I don't know what came over me." he smiled rubbing the back of his neck. He dropped me back off at my house and I walked inside. The house was buzzing softly with chatter between Billy and my mom. Seth was sprawled across the couch on his back. I walked quietly to my room and laid down on my bed relaxing. I couldn't believe it Jacob kissed me. I was so tired that I rolled over onto my stomach and cuddled up with my pillow.

My mom looked up, "Did Leah come home or am I seeing things?" she asked Billy. "She came in quietly. She wasn't upset, which shocked me. No offense." Billy smiled and, my mom just smiled. "Maybe she punched Sam or Paul in the face. But hey if she did they both had it coming." Seth said not even thinking. Billy and my mom looked in Seth's direction, "What do you mean, had it coming?" Seth lolled on the couch, "Paul ran his mouth, well he let his thoughts run about Leah. He said some pretty hurtful things. Sam didn't really defend her." Billy and my mom looked at each other, "I had no idea. She never said anything." my mom spoke. "Let it be. Unless Paul, Sam or Leah complains to one of us, let's not worry." Billy smiled.

The afternoon passed and night fell. I laid there in the dark wondering what the battle was going to be like. Sam didn't have the whole pack go back the following night. Instead just Jacob, Quil and Embry went. He wanted the rest of us to rest and be ready to fight. To help our enemies. To protect our land. I was worried about Jacob getting hurt. I worried about the others, even Sam and Paul. Meanwhile Sam was at home with Emily enjoying a nice quiet night together, "So is the pack ready to fight off these, newborns?" Emily asked inquisitively. Sam nodded, "I think so for the most part. I have Jacob, Quil and Embry going back again tonight to watch the Cullen's once again. I was thinking tomorrow night when we do one final patrol we can see Jacob's thoughts, then Quil's and Embry's." Emily smiled picking up the dinner plate that sat in front of Sam and placed it in the sink. Her usually brave face showed the worry. Her eyes didn't have their sparkle, "Emily I promise we'll be safe nothing will happen." Sam pulled Emily close and held her. Meanwhile the others were beyond excited about this.

Jacob, Quil and Embry finished up and were heading back home when Jacob thought about the kiss. "Jake tell me you are kidding. You didn't kiss Leah did you?" Embry thought. Jacob's thoughts were quiet for the moment, "Dude you did? Oh my god. Wait, I thought you were in love with Bella?" Quil's thought's quickly chimed in. Jacob sighed, "It just happened. It was the perfect moment. I needed to make sure Bella was the one. I know I didn't imprint on her but still, I love her. I can't stand the thought of her being with Cullen." Both of the wolves nodded understanding what he was saying. "Leah though? I guess it's ok. She's a few years older but you guys are good friends." Embry thought. Jacob nodded. They made there way back to La Push and quietly phased back to human form. Once dressed they all took off home.

The night was quiet at our house. When Embry arrived home, his mom was waiting in the living room. The light flicked on, "Where have you been?" Embry knew he couldn't tell her the truth. She'd never believe him. "I was hanging out with Jake and Quil. I'm sorry I lost track of time." She stood up with her hands on her small hips, "Do you realize what time it is?" Embry just nodded glancing at the clock. It was after 3am again. "What's wrong with you? Why do you keep sneaking around? Are you doing drugs, drinking? Tell me Embry Call!" she was getting upset. "Mom please ground me so I can go to bed. I'm exhausted." The room was quiet. She had taken away everything possible. He shrugged, "I'm going to bed. Goodnight, I love you." he kissed her cheek and walked quietly into his room and crashed.

Quil returned home and it was quiet. Old Quil had waited up, "Did everything go well? Quil nodded, "Yeah. With the Cullen's help, we'll defeat these newborns. Our land, our people, will be protected." Old Quil smiled, "I'm proud of you." he smiled. The two of them headed off to bed.

Jacob came home to a quiet house. No mother to ground him. No grandfather to ask how things went. Billy was already asleep. He didn't have an imprint to go home to. He had darkness to greet him. He headed straight for his room. He laid on his bed. His feet hanging over the edge, quietly thinking of Bella. He was trying to figure out how life would go on, once his best friend was turned into a stone structure. She'd no longer be warm. No more blushing. No heartbeat. A few tears slipped down his cheek. Jacob stayed strong around us all. He quietly took a shower and dressed quickly and was out the door.

I woke up a little an d laid there. I read the calendar THURSDAY stood out. The sky was gray with the sun slowly rising. I could hear the waves in the distance hitting the shore. My window had a light tapping on it. Jacob's face appeared, "Hey can I come in?" I sat up and nodded, "Yeah, just be quiet." I pulled my knees up to my chest. He climbed in quietly, and sat on my bed. I didn't know why Jacob was here or what to say. He just smiled, "Leah I care about you, as a friend. The kiss was a test." I looked at him. "No not a test. Ugh. I know that Bella's the one for me. I will figure out a way to show her." I smiled at him. "I know the kiss was awkward for you. Don't get me wrong it was nice, but it's not us." I shrugged, "Don't worry about it." He smiled and hugged me, "Thank you for understanding." We sat quietly for a few minutes until he asked, "Do you still love Sam? Are you in love with him?" It took me a moment, "I do love him still. Only because I will never know what, we could have had. I'm not in love anymore." Jacob nodded. "I will always love Bella. Even if she doesn't choose me. I will love her even when she dies." he looked out the window. The room felt like it had a 1,000 pound weight on it. I knew he was never going to give up on her. I was slowly throwing in the towel. Jacob finally had to get going. He quietly slipped out my window and I shut it and watched him take off into the woods.

Seth was in my doorway, I was busy staring out the window. "Oh, you have Jacob Black sneaking out. Hmmm," Seth grinned raising an eyebrow. I shook my head quickly, "No, no, no, Jacob only came over to talk to me. There's nothing going on between us." Seth smirked. "Sure Leah, It's ok your secret is safe with me." I eyed Seth, "One word to anyone and I mean anyone, you're dead!" Seth made the motion of locking his lips, and throwing away the key. He stood there looking around my room, "Your room seems so, quiet." I nodded and the sarcasm came, "Yeah because it is. It's still early in the morning, and we weren't talking." Seth shook his head, "Not what I meant Leah, since everything happened you've changed. I miss spending time with you. We used to be close, I want my sister back." I looked up at him and smiled faintly. "So I've got money I've saved up from chores and what not. I want to take you out for breakfast. Just you and I, give mom a break. So go take a shower and get ready. I'll be waiting for you in the living rom." he smiled and hugged me, then left my room. I quickly showered and got dressed and looked in the mirror and then left my room.

I walked out to the living room. Seth stood there holding onto my dad's keys, "Left mom a note, so let's get going, I'm hungry." We took off out the front door and got into my dad's truck. I started the truck up, closing my eyes for a moment. I thought I caught a quick scent of my dad's aftershave and I smiled. I backed out of the driveway and we were on our way. Seth looked over at me, "You're smiling. Are you ok?" he smirked. I nodded, "I caught a whiff of dad's after shave." Seth smiled and turned up the radio, "This is already fun. Just spending time with you." I smiled and found a parking space and pulled in and cut the engine and hopped out. Seth already put some money in the meter. We headed into the diner and found a booth. The waitress I had before when I was here with Charlie, and mom came over. "Hi Leah." she smiled at me. Then looked at Seth, "You must be Seth," Rosie smiled at him. "Uh yeah," Seth nodded unsure of how to respond. "Don't worry hun, I'm not a stalker, I met your sister before. Charlie raves about you kids all the time. You'd think you were his own kids." she smiled. I chuckled a little. "So what can I get you kids to drink for starters?" she asked setting down the menus. "I would love a coffee please." I asked. Seth took a moment, "I would like a glass of Orange Juice." Rosie nodded, "Sure thing. I'll be right back." she turned and went to get our drinks. We looked over the menu and when she returned we were ready to order. "So what can I get you?" she asked pulling out a pad of paper. Seth grinned, "I'd like the lumberjack." Rosie's eyes went wide. I just chuckled, "I would like the Ham and Cheese Omelet please." she smiled and walked off to put the order in.

Seth looked up as a familiar voice greeted us, "Hey kids. How are you doing?" Charlie smiled and sat down beside Seth. "Hey Charlie. We're doing great." Charlie smiled, "I'm glad to hear that." he made eye contact with me. I think he was trying to see if I was ok. Rose returned, "Hey chief. Pancakes, Coffee and newspaper?" she asked smiling. "You know me well Rosie." he chuckled. She smiled and left to put in his order. "So what are you kids doing in town? Where's your mom?" he asked. Seth smiled, "She's at home still asleep probably. Leah was up early." he smirked at me. "I wanted to take her out for breakfast." Charlie nodded, "Well that's nice of you to do." I nodded kicking Seth under the table. He made a face at me. "So how are things on the reservation. Seth I know your out of school for the summer. Any plans?" Seth shrugged, "Maybe camping, swimming, who knows." Charlie chuckled, "Oh to be young and carefree again." I choked on my coffee. "Leah you ok." Charlie handed me a napkin. "Yeah went down the wrong way." I sat there feeling this fight looming above my head. Carefree, was not how I would describe my life, or anyone else's that was involved with the wolves or leeches.

Rosie came back over placing, four rather large plates in front of Seth. "Lumberjack for the peanut in the corner." Seth was no peanut. At thirteen he stood at almost 6 ft tall. On the plates sat, five pancakes, ten pieces of bacon, four sausage links, six pieces of toast, two blueberry waffles, three eggs sunny side up, two pieces of french toast and one bagel with cream cheese on the side. She walked back over to the order window and brought my omelet and, Charlie's pancakes, newspaper and coffee. "If you folks need anything else, give me a holler." she smiled and went back behind the counter.  
Charlie looked at the plates in front of Seth, "Are you really going to eat all of that?" he asked. Seth nodded happily inhaling the pancakes.

I took a few bites of my omelet. Charlie had finished a pancake when he asked, "How are you doing Leah? I know everyone asks." I took a sip of my coffee and looked at him, "I'm okay. I miss him. He was my dad, my best friend. It's like everyone expects you to grieve right away. You cry you get on with life and done. It's not that easy. I can't bring myself to acknowledge that he's gone. Everyone is there the first week after someone dies. Your house is filled with people. Some you don't even know. They bring food, like it's going to fill the void. They go to the services and express their condolences. Then what happens when it's been a month. You stare at the calendar in disbelief. Nobody is there anymore. You're alone with your thoughts. The pain comes sometimes. You may cry. There's nobody to talk to about it. They see you in passing and ask, but that's it. I pretend my dad is with you, or Billy. I can't accept that he's dead. He's in the ground in a casket. He's never coming back." Charlie just looked at me and cleared his throat, "Leah I'm so sorry. I'm always here if you need to talk." I was caught off guard. This was out of character for Charlie. "Thank you." I bit my lip holding back the tears.

We finished up our meal. "Oh my god that was soooo good." Seth chimed. Charlie nodded, "I must agree. They always have the best food here." Rosie came over, "Anything else guys?" We shook our heads, "Nope. Can I have the bill?" Charlie asked. Rosie handed it to him. He placed more money on the table, than it should have cost for his meal. "Kids breakfast was on me. Have a good day. I will talk to you later." he got up and headed out to his cruiser and left. Rosie smiled, "You two kids have a good day. Come back." we smiled and left.

Seth and I walked around downtown. He stopped walking and looked in the display window of a jewelry shop, "I want to head inside. I will be right out." I nodded and headed back to the truck. I opened the drivers side and climbed in and laid my head back. About 15 minutes later Seth was back at the truck and hopped in, "I saw something that I thought would be perfect for mom." He handed me a small white box with a small pink bow on it. I opened it carefully. Inside was a small heart charm with the word Mom, with two small flowers on it. "Seth that's so pretty. She's going to love it." I smiled. "Yeah the flowers represent us. There's a chain underneath that pillow thingy." I smiled, "She's going to cry and hug us." He grinned, "I know." I started the truck and drove back home. When I pulled in the driveway, Sam's truck was sitting there. "Oh please just shoot me now." Seth smirked, "I will wait. I'll let you get one good swing in on him." I laughed, "Smart ass." I climbed out and shut the door.

We walked inside, "MOM." Seth called out. "What is it Seth?" she came out rather quickly from kitchen. "Here." he smiled handing her the small box. "What's this?" she raised an eyebrow taking the box. "Woman just open it please." I stood there beside him smiling. She opened the box and smiled, "Oh my gosh. Kids this is beautiful. Thank you so much." she took it out of the box and put it on. "I love it. Thank you so much." she hugged us tightly. "Mom I can't breath." Seth gasped. "Oh sorry." she loosened her grip. "The two flowers are to symbolize Leah and I." she started to get teary eyed. "So Sam and Billy are here. Sam wanted to talk to you both about Saturday." I sighed, "Leah just hear him out." I didn't want to partake in a fight that would risk my life. Not for the Cullen's. I knew it wasn't just for them. Forks and La Push were in danger. My friends and family in a dangerous line. There were crazed newborn vampires ready to kill. I walked into the dining room and sat down at the table. Billy smiled, "Hello Leah." I smiled back. Seth sat down beside Billy. Sam and my mom sat on either ends of the table, taking up the head.

We were quiet. Billy looked between Sam and my mom. "I guess I will take the floor. We've been talking about the battle on Saturday with the Cullen's. Seth we'd like you to stay back and not fight. We know you won't. So we'd like you to stay with Edward and Bella at the camp site. Leah will be on the battle field and help us kill these things. I stayed quiet and Seth looked at me quietly. "So after this battle, am I done being a guard dog? I would like to try and get back to a normal life." I looked at Billy and my

mom. "Leah I understand that your angry about this. We're a pack, a family. We stick together. When our help is needed, we're there." Sam spoke. "I'm sorry but I wasn't asking you. So please keep to yourself." I replied looking at my mom. "Leah, hopefully things will quiet down after this. You won't have to phase as often." Billy smiled at me. "Well that's so reassuring. If you don't mind I've not had much sleep so I would like to rest. I will see you all later." I looked at Seth, Billy and, my mom. I ignored Sam completely. I retreated to my room and shut the door. "I don't think she'll ever stop hating me." My mom sighed, "I think when she finds her true love like you found Emily, she'll be ok." Sam smiled faintly, "I hope so." The night continued quietly and Sam finally headed home taking Billy with him.

Seth and my mom watched a movie while I caught up on my sleep. "So you'll be with Edward and Bella in wolf form? Your sister will be fighting." my mom sighed. Seth smiled, "Mom relax. Nothing is going to happen to us. We're Quileute wolves. Nothing can stop us." he smiled. "Your so strong. Your father would be proud of you kids." my mom hugged Seth gently. I was stirring a bit in my sleep, "Leah's talking in her sleep." Seth grinned. My mom nodded, "She's done that a lot since your father died."

My dream was so real. We were on the beach in La Push. The Cullen's were there. I couldn't understand what was going on. The pack was there in wolf form. I was in human. We stood there and I looked around, "What's going on?" I asked looking around. Alice spoke, "The newborns have changed their direction. They're attacking here instead. Some how they got wind that Bella would be here." I looked at the others, "What? No she's not. She's supposed to be away at some camp. Jacob left to go meet up with her and Edward." I looked and Edward was standing there. The wolves were on the beach waiting. "Bella is with her father at Billy's. We thought it would be safer for them to be together." I was so confused, "So what about Jacob?" Sam looked at me and I could hear his thoughts, "He's with Bella. So incase anything should happen, she has one of them with her." I knew what he meant. All of the sudden everyone stiffened up. "They're coming now." Edward spoke. I could smell them in the air. They were close. I tried to phase and I couldn't. Then all of the sudden they were there. They were all fighting. Then there was a gray older looking wolf there. I felt like I knew it. It made eye contact with me. They were familiar eyes. Then I realized it was my dad. My eyes went wide. I watched as my mom stood there watching. I looked over at her, "Harry don't do this. Please your heart is too weak for this. Please stop. They can handle it." My dad shook his head. Well he found himself struggling with a new born. Everyone else was busy. I started to run over, "LEAH NO!" my mom called out. I stopped dead in my tracks. My mom pulled a silver blade out of no where. "For my people." was all she said and then stabbed her self in the abdomen. I screamed, "MOM." The newborn looked at her grinning. She let the blade fall to the ground. My dad was able to get the upper hand and took out the newborn ripping it to shreds. I was beside her holding her hand, "Stay with me ok." My dad was back in human form looking at her. "I'm so sorry Sue. But now we'll be together." I looked at my dad, "What are you talking about. You're together now." He shook his head, "I need to return." he turned and walked away disappearing slowly into the horizon. My mom laid there on in the sand, "It's going to be ok. It's my time. I always promised to protect you. I did that. My time has come to an end." she whispered and closed her eyes. I was alone now. My mom and dad were both gone. "Leah I'm so sorry. I know you blame my family and Bella for this." Edward spoke. "Get out of my head you freak of leech."

I startled awake my heart racing and I couldn't catch my breath. I got to my feet the clock read 11:03pm. I ran out to the living room. My mom was sitting on the couch watching the news. "Hi sweetie what are you doing awake?" she smiled. I sat down on the couch beside her and hugged her, "Mom I love you so much." She hugged me back, "I love you too Leah. Is everything ok?" I nodded. I almost expected to find my dad out here. I nodded, "Just startled myself awake." She smiled, "Well you can stay here with me if you want. I don't mind." I smiled when I realized the dream. I saw my mom as the third wife. She would do anything to protect us. I dozed off against her. Her scent was lavender with a hint of vanilla to it. Seth walked out and smiled. We both had fallen asleep. He covered us up and went back to his room after shutting off the television.

It was the day of the battle. I'd shut off all my feelings. I needed to stay focused on helping kill these parasites. I was up early with Seth. I stayed quiet like he did which was extremely strange to have no noise in our house. "Do you kids want something to eat?" mom asked. I shook my head no and, so did Seth. We sat quietly with her at the table and she took each of our hands in hers. She was so quiet until she spoke quietly,

"Please let my children be safe. Let them go into battle with strong minds. I know they're brave defenders of our great land. Let them return safely with the others. Harry please watch over them." her eyes were closed while she spoke. I had a lump in my throat. Seth smiled and squeezed her hand a little, "We'll be fine mom. I promise that." It was now our time to go. We stood up with her and walked out the front door. She hugged Seth tightly, "I love you mom. I will see you when we get home." he smiled. She let go and hugged me next, "Leah I'm so proud of you. You are a true fighter. You are a strong woman." she smiled and I felt the tear slip down my cheek. "Thank you mom. I love you too. I will see you later. Be careful." I hugged her tightly then let go. Seth and I started down the drive way. I turned back once to see my mom standing there, her arms wrapped around herself. Her eyes were red, she was already crying. I turned back looking at the road as we walked.

We made it into the woods and split up to phase. We left our clothes in a plastic bag so nothing would happen to them. Once we phased I could hear everyone's thoughts. "Seth head off to the camp. You'll find Jacob's scent. Once your there he'll come down and join us." Seth nodded and nudged me a little. When he took off, there was just a blur of tan. We stood there ready and waiting for Sam's orders. "I've been told that they will split into two groups. One will be in the clearing. The other in the meadow. We know how to fight these things. Bella and Edward have been at the camp all night. Jacob watched over them. He covered their scent so the red head won't find them." We stood there quietly. Finally Sam nodded and we headed off to ambush the first group of vampires. We were ready when this roar of thunder broke through the trees. These red eyes came at us on the attack. The first newborn was a male not much older than me. His mouth was open and ready to bite anything that came near. I quickly took him down ripping him to pieces. Jared and Embry were working on another one. The ripping sound was a strange, yet comforting noise. It mean we were destroying them. We fought like hell and finished them off. There were limbs along with other body parts in a pile. I just finished off a newborn when I spotted another one, when I caught the scent as well. Edward and Bella had left a faint scent. I took him down before he even had time to notice what was happening. Sam was beside me helping, rip this enemy apart. Once we were finished with that one Sam looked at me then took off. I took off as well to find another filthy leech to kill. I could hear Seth's thoughts but I had to push them aside. I couldn't worry. Paul and Jacob were working on taking apart another Cullen's had just finished up with their last one. We were slowly gathering the pack together. The huge pile of dismembered newborns was stacked up. One of the Cullen's leaned down setting the pile on fire. This thick purple smoke slowly made it's way towards the sky. Sam looked around and counted, "We've got all of them." he thought. Paul, Jared, Embry and Quil had taken off into the woods. The Cullen's stood there waiting for these visitors. We had to take off. These visitors would not spare us. I was walking along when I found a single newborn hiding out. I took towards him with full force. I lunged at him. His arm's were around my neck, holding onto me. I was trying so desperately to break free. The growls rolled off my chest like thunder. My thought's were racing, "Let me go. I will kill you." I could hear the others thoughts, "Leah, NO!" I thought I could take him down by myself. I was able to do it with the others. "Leah no stop. What are you thinking?" Seth was whining in my head. I tried to throw him off. I could hear the snarls from the newborn. Something slammed me into the ground. Jacob had knocked the newborn off of me. In the process he knocked me to the ground. He quickly tried to get up. I kept my eyes on Jacob springing to my feet. Then the newborn had his arms around him. The crunch echoed through the air followed by the excruciating howl of pain. "JACOB!" I shrieked in my thoughts. "SAM HELP. HELP HIM NOW." I thought panicked. Jacob dropped to the ground. Sam came running over. The other wolves took after the newborn destroying it within seconds. Carlisle blurred over quickly and looked him over, "His ribs have been broken but they're healing already. I will need to reset them. His leg doesn't look good either. Can you please phase back Jacob? It would make it easier to check you out." Sam pleaded with Jacob, "Come on let him make sure your ok." Jacob wouldn't phase back. Carlisle nodded, "Your pack need's to get out of here quickly. It's not safe. I will come by soon as possible to check on him." The boys were in the woods and quickly phased back, putting their clothes back on and came back. "On the count of three we lift him. We'll bring him in the woods." Paul spoke, and carried Jacob back into the woods.

The four boys carried him back to La Push as he howled loudly. I walked along quietly keeping my head down. Jacob's thoughts were quiet. I kept mine the same way. Seth's thought, "Where should I go Leah?" Jacob thought, "My house." then it went quiet. We were back in La Push rather quickly. I took off and found my clothes and phased back and put them on. Jacob howled loudly as they set him down so he could phase back. My stomach lurched. Seth came running over wearing just a pair of shorts like the others. He finally was able to focus enough and phased back to human. He carefully put his shorts back on to La Push. He clenched his teeth when the shorts slipped over his leg. I've never heard Jacob curse before. I sure did today. I was so afraid he was going to hate me. I felt like all the eyes were on me.

We were back at Jacob's house when I ran in opening the door. "LEAH." Billy looked at me and I didn't say anything. Charlie's head snapped up. "Billy we've got Jacob. He's hurt pretty bad." Sam spoke. The boys carried him into his room laying him down gently on the bed. He laid there panting. I was sick to my stomach. I caused him the pain. "Billy let me take you the two of you to the hospital. I think it's a good idea." Billy shook his head, "No. I don't want to move him." Jared spoke up, " and his son pulled up on the accident. They told us to bring him here. He went home to get some supplies." Charlie nodded. Embry stayed in the room with Jacob until Carlisle came. There was a knock on the door and Paul got it, "What's up doc?" Carlisle nodded, "Hello. Where's Jacob?" Billy pointed to the hall way. Carlisle and Edward walked down finding his room. Embry came back out and sat down on the floor. "?*%#& ! ribs. Jesus Christ what the hell." Jacob was yelling. Jared, Paul, Seth, Quil, Embry, Sam, and myself were crammed in Billy's tiny living room. Sam looked at me and I didn't say anything. I knew the pain I felt was on my face. Emily and my mom showed up at the house as well. "#*&%$ng pain. Make it stop." the breaking of the bones echoed through the tiny house. I felt myself go pale. My hands turned to ice which was unheard of because of my body temperature. My legs were shaky. He was alive but it didn't matter. He shouldn't have gotten hurt. Charlie looked at me, "Are you ok hun?" I just shrugged. Emily ran over and hugged us all once she got to the house, then Billy, "I'm so sorry." Billy smiled, "He's a fighter." There was another loud outburst of cursing and I cringed. My mom saw Seth and I hugging us both and smiled, "It's ok guys. Let's just see what has to say." Paul spoke, "He didn't listen to me. I told him it wasn't a good idea to go on the bike." Charlie nodded, "I hate those things." Carlisle had finished up and was in the living room with Edward at his side, "He's resting now. He's pretty out of it. I've given him quite a bit of morphine. I had to set the bones. He has a broken leg, a few ribs and a cracked bone in his arm. The breaks aren't that bad except for the ribs. He'll be back on his feet within a few days." Billy smiled, "Thank you for helping my son." Carlisle smiled, "I will come back in a few hours to check on him. Call me if you need anything." he smiled. Edward looked at me and I didn't move. They quietly left and Charlie stood up, "That was nice of him to come all the way out here. I need to get home and see if Bella's back. I will call a little later to check on him. See you all later." he smiled and quietly left. We all sat there in the room and they started talking amongst themselves. Seth nudged my leg, "Hey you ok?" I just looked at him. I nodded feeling horrible and I whispered to him, "I want to go home. I need a shower. I will see you later." I got up and left and went home.

The others hung around for a little bit then slowly dispersed and went to their houses. Emily, Sam, Seth and my mom said their goodbye's to Billy and left. Once I was in the house I went to my room and grabbing my towels and a robe and went to the bathroom locking the door. I turned the water on so it was hot. I climbed in the shower and stood there. I didn't want to leave the house again. I was afraid to see Jacob again. I had a feeling that our friendship was now null and void. I don't know why I wanted to prove myself. I finished up in the shower and went to my room and got dressed. I threw on a pair of shorts and a tank top. I sat down at my journal and wrote.

I don't know what to say. I'm a horrible person. Selfish for sure. I'm ignorant. I don't listen. I acted impulsively. I almost got Jacob killed. I don't think I can ever face him, or the rest of the pack again. Sam will have my ass. Seth seem's to be the only one who wasn't tense around me. I've decided not to journal every day. Same expected disappointment, just a different day. I'm trying to push the pain down to my feet. The farther away from my heart it is, the better. It won't be as easy to feel anymore. The one person who was my friend is laying in a bed. I wonder if Bella is there. She's probably playing the over sympathetic friend. She'll be one of them soon enough. Kissing his ass before she's changed. Trying to protect her new family. Because if she become's one of them, the treaty is void. I don't have anything else to say.

I shut the journal and sat there. I hated myself. I didn't feel like I belonged in the pack anymore. I decided to call Billy and see how we was doing. The phone rang and rang, "Hello." Billy's voice took over the dead air. "Hi Billy. I was curious as to how Jacob's doing?" Billy spoke softly, "He's doing ok. He's awake. Bella is over and they're spending time together." I nodded, "Ok. I'm sorry he got hurt. It's all my fault. I wasn't thinking." Billy sighed, "Leah I don't blame you. I understand you thought you could handle it. I will let him know you called. Goodnight Leah." The phone went dead and I hung up as well. It was still early in the night but I didn't have it in me. I locked my door and turned in for the night. I didn't have the fight in me anymore. I was a selfish person. Someone who didn't deserve happiness. I was thoughtless.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21 ~ Bella you made your bed, you can lay in it.**

It had been about a week since the fight. Jacob was back on his feet without difficulty. I wasn't sure how he felt about seeing me. I wanted to give him some space. She was going to be come a parasite soon enough. Just like them. Then Sam would void the treaty. I couldn't imagine how Jacob felt knowing his best friend was going to be like them. We hadn't talked since the fight. I hadn't spoken to anyone really. I stayed in my room for the past week. I would slip into the bathroom to take a shower then go back to my room. "Leah, dinners ready." my mom would call out. I didn't get up to eat. I didn't have the energy. I was so alone. The person who was my friend was now gone. If he wasn't angry he would have called me. I knew he hated me. I hurt him in more ways than just one. "Leah I said dinner's ready." my mom called again. I ignored her. "What is going on with her? She's not come out of that room except to take a shower and then go back in." my mom asked Seth. "I don't know. She blames herself for Jake getting hurt. It kind of was her fault. She wanted to prove she was strong enough. It back fired on her. Plus Jake hasn't called her at all." My mom sighed and came down the hall knocking on my door, "Leah Clearwater. I said dinner is ready. Let's go now please."  
I got up off the bed and opened my door. My mom smiled, "Please come and eat dinner. No use in beating yourself up over something that's happened. Focus on your future." I walked out and sat down and ate dinner. I finished up and headed to my room calling it a night early. I dreamed quite a bit that night. At one point I was standing with Bella in the woods, confessing my love to her. Telling her she was making a wrong choice. Trying to convince her to choose me. Then I carefully held her face in my hands and kissed her. I woke up gagging.

The next day I called over to Billy's house. The phone rang once, "Hello." I let out a sigh of relief. Jacob hadn't answered, one fear down. "Uh...hi Billy. It's Leah." Billy's deep voice echoed in my head, "He's not home Leah. He took off for his spot about an hour ago." I felt some of the anxiety dwindle, "Ok thanks." I hung up. I decided I need to try and catch up with him. I needed to tell him how I felt. I got dressed and slipped out through my window. The walk up to the cliffs was quietly. The waves crashed against the shore loudly. I could hear the voice of people below. There was a breeze that carried the smell of the salt right up to where I was. I finally got to the top of the cliffs. Jacob stood there looking off into the horizon motionless. We all knew what was going on in his head. We had phased and heard the thoughts. Mine we're so pleasant either. Bella was really choosing Cullen over Jacob. I joined him as he stood there.

"Jacob, do you think this is going to take too much longer?" I demanded being impatient and whiney. His teeth clenched together, "Jump off a cliff Leah." he pointed to his feet, where he stood on the edge. "Really kid." I ignored him and sprawled on the ground beside him. "You have no idea how hard this is for me." he didn't realize how much it hurt me, to see him like this. "For you?" he stood motionless. "You have to be the most self absorbed person alive, Leah. I'd hate to shatter the dream world you live in - the one where the sun is orbiting the place where you stand. So I won't tell you how little I care what your problem is. _Go away_." I looked up at him, "Just look at this from my perspective for a minute, okay?" I continued pretending to have never heard what Jacob said. Then his whole mood turned, and he started laughing. "Stop snorting and pay attention." I snapped. "If I pretend to listen will you leave?" I had my normal scowl already in place. "This is making me sick Jacob. Can you imagine what this feels like to _me_? I don't even_ like _Bella Swan. And you've got me grieving over this leech - lover like I'm in love with her too. Can you see where that might be a little confusing. I dreamed about kissing her last night! What the hell am I supposed to do with _that_?"

He stared off, "Do I care?"

"I can't stand being in your head anymore! Get over her already! She's going to _marry _that thing. He's going to try and change her into one of them. Time to move on boy."

"Shut _up_." he growled.

"He'll probably just kill her anyways." I sneered as I spoke. "All the stories say that happens more often then not. Maybe a funeral will be better closure than a wedding. Ha." He closed his eyes. I watched as he fought the tremors that shook over his clenched fists. I smiled rather amused. For what purpose I'm not quite sure. Jacob used to be my friend. "If you're upset about gender confusion, Leah..." His eyes narrowed, as he spoke slowly emphasizing each word, "How do you think the rest of us like looking at Sam through your eyes? It's bad enough that Emily has to deal with _your _fixation. She doesn't need us guys panting after him, too." The pain ran through my veins. It showed across my face, like it was on a movie screen. I quickly scrambled to my feet, pausing to only spit in his direction. I ran for the trees, he laughed darkly, "You missed."

I phased without thinking. My clothes were in pieces, probably some hanging from tree branches. I didn't care. Jacob had turned bitter. I'm not saying he didn't have good reason to but, I needed him. Maybe more than he ever knew. I know it was stupid of me to try and take on that newborn on alone. I was trying to prove that I was a strong wolf. I always felt doubted by them. It's like my gender automatically made me weaker. I know he had a lot going on but so did I. My house was finally insight and I ran home and phased back quietly slipping in through my window. I found a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt and threw them on. I sat down on my bed and sighed. I didn't know how, or what to feel. I started to think of Jacob's words and my hands started to tremble. The front door opened and I listened quietly.

"Well, I was going to make Tuna melts for lunch. That ok with you?" my mom asked someone. I assumed she was talking to Seth. He was always on the prowl for food. "Sounds perfect." It was a deep males voice, but not my brothers. Charlie was over, again. He and Billy were over quite a bit. I'm not sure if they were both fighting for her love or what. I was hoping not. There was enough love triangle crap going on, that I couldn't deal with anymore if I tried. All I knew was, nobody would replace my dad. The phone rang and my mom answered, speaking softly. Then a few minutes later, "Leah and Seth. Head over to Emily's house." I pulled myself up and walked out the front door. Not even saying goodbye. "Bye Le..."my mom stopped abruptly. Seth kissed her on the cheek and head out behind me. The walk was quiet, thankfully. I didn't have anything to say. I was quite positive, you could see the rigidness of my body in space.

We finally arrived at Emily's. The chatter inside sounded like, a bunch of guys hanging out. Embry opened the door and gave me a look. It was like an apology with his eyes. Was my face that easy to read, my body language. Seth and I quietly walked in. Paul and Jared were on either side of Sam. Emily sat by Sam's feet leaning against his legs like a chair. That exasperated me so much. I hoped he would accidentally kick her. Quil and Seth lounged on the floor. Embry sat beside me. "Well I know several of you know but, Jacob has taken off. Embry and Quil tried to stop him. I called them off. He's in wolf form, plus there's a lot going on right now." Jared snorted, "Yeah Bella's becoming a leech and getting married to him. We got the memo from Jake." Jared tapped his head. "What she chooses to do is her choice. She's an adult." Emily spoke up. "But doesn't that void the treaty?" Paul asked. Sam pinched the bridge of his nose, "Ephriam made the treaty stating that they couldn't injure a human. So if they change her the treaty is broken and we can kill them." Quil asked. I was a bit shocked to hear him ask something like that. Sam shook his head, "We're in a loop hole. If they leave before they turn her, they've not broken the treaty." Embry looked up, "So what happens if or when they return? Do we welcome them with open arms?" Sam sighed, "Again I'm not sure. This is something I'm going to speak to the elders about. I will let you all know." I grumbled, "Let's throw them a freaking party. Surprise blood suckers. Welcome home. Here's a few deer. Chow down." Sam looked at me, "Leah be practical."

The way he said my name still made my heart shatter. I swallowed hard to hide the pain but it showed on my face. "Leah are you ok? What's wrong?" Emily asked. "You're what's wrong Emily. Perfect life. Perfect house. Perfect family. Everything is perfect for you." Then I snarled with a malicious grin, "Almost everything." I gently touched the side of my face looking at her. A dead stare in my eyes. Emily got to her feet and looked at me, "You did this to me." She touched her cheek, "You got Sam so angry. We fought about you. Because he said you were crazy. I was defending you when he phased. Your technically to blame for this, but I don't. I know it was a misunderstanding. Your just a bitch. A cold hearted person. You may be pretty on the outside, but on the inside you're dead. I care about you. You're my blood relative, but I hate who you've become. How you've let this imprinting process ruin who we used to be." I was on my feet and I looked at her before taking off out the door. The guys looked around. Emily stood there her fists clenched. "I can't deal with this tonight. I'm going to bed." She walked down the hallway to the bedroom and shut the door. "Leah has a lot of anger in her." Sam spoke. They sat quietly. Seth decided to catch up with me.

The air was still slightly cool at night. I got back to the driveway when I thought about my dad. "Hey you ok?" Seth tapped my shoulder. "Yeah." I walked inside. Charlie was still over sitting casually on the couch with my mom. I went to my room and shut the door. "Uh, is she ok?" Charlie asked. My mom looked up at Seth, "Do I dare ask?" Seth shrugged, "Lean and Emily had a little heated argument. Emily said some things that, really struck Leah's nerves. I kind of feel like she had to hear it." My mom sighed, "I don't know what to do with her." I sat down at my desk and pulled out my journal and wrote.

What is wrong with me? Why do I have to be such a MONSTER? I was cursed to this life. Never aging. Never changing. Never living. I will never feel whole. I will never feel like a true human being. I will always be alone. I will spend the rest of my life protecting this reservation, and for what? I don't want this.

I left the journal open and laid down on my bed, quietly drifting off to sleep. My mom spent some time with Charlie until he left. It was rather late. She locked the door behind him, and turned off the lights on her way to bed. She stopped in my room to cover me up. She knew I didn't need the blanket, but it was just something she did. As she turned to leave she saw my journal open, and walked over to close it. Monster stood out on the page. She sighed and left the room and went to bed herself.

A few days passed, and nothing from Jake. All we knew was that he was in Canada. He was running. Then it became weeks. The phone rang and I answered it, "Hello." There was an awkward silence, "Uh, hey Leah." My jaw clenched and my teeth clicked together, "Hello Lee..." I stopped myself. I almost called her leech lover. "Leah I hate to call and ask but," I cut her off, "If I had heard from him, you'd be the last person to know. Let me tell you this. You made your bed, now you can lay in it." I hung up. "Who was that?" my mom called out from the kitchen. "Wrong number." I smirked. Seth came in just at that moment, "What's so funny?" he asked. "I hung up on Bella. Let her know how I felt." Seth looked at me, "Why are you so mean to her?" I thought about it, "None of your business." I walked to my room and shut the door. The truth was, she was Sam and I was Jacob. Edward was Emily. She didn't care who she was hurting, as long as she had one of them.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22 ~ You didn't see that coming. Neither did I.**

I woke up a couple of mornings later. My mom was sitting in the chair in front of my desk. She was looking right at me. "How are you doing?" she asked scooting closer to me. I sat up, grabbing the elastic off my nightstand. I tried to pull back my hair and make what I could have of a ponytail. I rubbed my eyes. "I'm fine. Why?" My mom just sighed, "Leah Emily called last night. After you went to sleep. I rolled my eyes, "Just stop and listen. She's sorry for what she said. She didn't mean it. She wanted to come by later and apologize to you in person." I was on my feet in seconds. "Leah come back please." I heard my mother falling behind me. I kept my pace up. I walked through the living room and and had the front door open before I was stopped. "Where are you off to?" Seth stood there blocking the door way. "Move please. I need to go out for a bit." Seth shook his head, "Leah you're not leaving. Just sit down and relax. Your going to burst a blood vessel, one of these days." I growled at him, "Move before I move you Seth." He just looked at me, "SIT DOWN LEAH." There was no way to get out of the house. My mom was behind me and pulled me back. She had never done that before.

She guided me to the couch, "Relax Leah. I want to talk to you. Calmly. So help me God, if you phase in my house, you'll be in deep trouble with me." she spoke sternly on the last part. I sat there begrudgingly. I hated being told what to do. I could escape commands from home anymore either. "Now listen. Emily called and told me what happened a few days ago. She explained you two, had an altercation. She feels really bad. I understand you have a lot of resentment towards her, and Sam. Emily is your cousin. She's family. You have to get over the whole Sam and Emily thing. It's time to move on. You can't continue this bitterness. You've forgotten how to love Leah." Seth just stood there and nodded a little, agreeing with my mom. "I've not forgotten how to love. I've chosen not to. That way I can't be hurt again. It's easier that way." Seth sighed, "Leah this isn't you. You're not my sister anymore. It's your body but like, I don't know. Like some alien has taken over." I looked at him and growled, "You wouldn't know anything about love pup. You think what that leech lover, and the leech have is love. Well guess what? It's not. She's going to be a meal to him. So go have fun at their wedding. I'm not going." I got up off the couch and started for the door again and swung it open. Charlie was there just about to knock, "Hey Leah." I glared at him, "Stupid girl." and stormed past him.

Charlie stepped inside and shut the door behind him, "Did I miss something? I just caught, "Stupid girl". My mom shook her head, "Just my daughter, having another outburst. She needs to get them under better control. One of these days she'll be sorry." Seth nodded just enough for her to notice. "I'm sorry to hear that Sue. Hopefully she'll calm down." Seth snorted, "Yeah right. Leah calming down, is like hell freezing over." My mom looked at Seth. "Mom face it. I'm telling the truth. The girl has a hair trigger. She's out of control." Charlie looked at her, "Out of control?" My mom shook her head, "She and her cousin were in a rather heated argument a few nights ago. Her cousin called last night. Asked if she could stop by today. Leah as always wants nothing to do with her." Charlie nodded, "Is that the girl that's with Sam?" my mom nodded. "Leah hold's a lot in. I can tell that. She's one tough cookie." my mom nodded and sat down on the couch. Charlie sat down beside her.

Seth quietly slipped off to his room and called over to Emily's house,  
"Hello." Emily's soft voice answered the phone. "Hey Em it's Seth." he spoke softly. "Hi, what's up? I don't usually get phone calls unless Leah's not in the house." she chuckled. Seth smirked, "Yeah very true. Anyway she got really angry. She took off out the door. She muttered, "Stupid girl." Charlie heard her as she left." Emily listened, "Ok so what does that mean? Is she coming here you think?" Seth looked out his bedroom window, "I'm not sure but I wanted to give you a heads up. She's my sister but, she can't go around fighting everyone." Emily looked at Sam, as he sat at the small table in her kitchen, "I understand. I will tell Sam. Thanks Seth. I will talk to you later." she hung up. Seth quietly hung up and put the phone back on the receiver.

I had left my clothes in a pile and phased. I was starting to control it a little better. I took off running full force. I ran as fast as my legs could take me. Nothing was going to stop me. I was going to rip Cullen to shreds. Jacob wasn't going to take care of this problem, I would. Nobody would let me run away like that. Granted Charlie sat there putting flyers up everywhere saying, "Have you seen this boy?" Charlie had no idea that his so called, "Loving daughter" was a monster. Pure cold blooded leech lover. I had hoped so badly that they wouldn't change her. That he'd leave her again. Then when she came back crying to Jacob, he would have imprinted on someone else. Poetic justice if you ask me. I was running the thudding against the ground were my enormous paws. I heard Paul, Jared and Embry in my head. "She's running that's for sure. It's like being in Jake's head. Just green passing by in a blur." I growled at Jared's thoughts. They knew I was there. I pictured the surprised look that would be on the Cullen's face when I showed up. I hoped to lure Edward out with my thoughts. Make him think there was danger. Make him think something happened with Jacob, or even Charlie. "Crap. She's lost it. She's heading south, and fast." Jared thought. "Leah stop now. What are you doing? Are you trying to get us all killed? You can't break the treaty." Paul thought. "How about you go back to Rachel and play house." Embry tried, "Leah please. Don't do this." I heard the howls behind me and I kept going. I was coming close to the treaty line. I was tired of listening to Sam. He wasn't going to take care of the pest problem, I would. Sam's thoughts were there with Quil's, "Where is she?" Sam was running catching up with the others. She's about a quarter of a mile from the treaty line Sam." Paul thought. I was inches from crossing it when I was knocked to the ground.

I hit the ground hard and whined. I was back up on my feet snarling, my teeth showing. "Back down now Leah." Sam was in front of me. "Jerk. You hit me. How dare you?" my thoughts were filled with anger, and hate. "How dare I, Leah? You without any orders from the alpha, were ready to break the treaty. To provoke vampires. They could kill you." I mentally shrugged, "It would have been worth the fight. If I got killed at least, I wouldn't be connected to you anymore. My pain would end." Sam stood in front of me. His hackles stood straight up. "If you step one foot over that line, you will be in serious trouble." I mocked Sam, "Oh, are you going to tell my mommy? Going to go run to Billy? What are you going to say? Come on Sam. Be the big bad alpha. Be the big bad wolf. The bully. Your nothing without your, alpha status." My thoughts hit him hard. The others were there standing on the sides. They watched like spectators do at a sporting event. "At least I'm the alpha and not a runt like you. Your small, weak and nothing to this pack. You bring us all down. You're miserable to be around. I'm tired of you wanting everyone to feel bad for you. I can't help what happened between us. It's time to grow up, and stop hiding behind it." That hurt. Paul looked down his thoughts quiet. "Sam that was rather harsh." Jared thought, "Shut up." Sam thought in a snide tone. "I'm not hiding behind anything you ego driven dog. You hide a lot as well. You hid the fact that you hurt Emily. Blamed it on a bear attack. For some reason my mom and Billy, went along with it. You hid the fact from Emily for how long that, we had a pregnancy scare. That when I told you I wasn't pregnant you disappeared for three weeks. You then came back and imprinted on my cousin. My cousin." I thought my voice started to tremble a little. "Whoa." Paul thought. Jared looked between Sam and I. "So before you all assume that I'm being miserable, maybe you shouldn't judge me. You've never walked in my damn shoes. This is your crappy, "Brother hood." No where does it mention sister. It's ok. I know where I'm not wanted. This reservation is not meant for me. I'm fine with that. I will take off like Jacob did." My thoughts were shut off from them.

I turned and started running back through the woods. I couldn't believe I just told the whole pack my deepest secret. Something that killed me to hide. I was so upset. I couldn't calm down enough to phase back. I picked up the clothes in my mouth and took off into the woods away from the beach, the houses, away from life. I finally got to a spot that had tons of moss all over the ground and dropped my clothes. I let out a long sigh that sounded like a whine. I laid down on the ground and put my head on my paws. The pain was there. The empty hall way of darkness, was there waiting for me to walk down it. I had nobody to talk to. Nobody to have my back. I had nothing. The day passed and I laid there thinking. I thought back to the good times I had with my dad. When he'd pick me up, and hug me. Then he'd spin me around. The way he laughed when I did something goofy. Nobody understood me. I wasn't quite sure I understood myself anymore. Maybe Seth was right.

Mean while back by the treaty line the wolves stood there. Sam slowly picked up his head. He shook his head, as almost to clear his thoughts. "Did Leah phase back?" Embry asked. Sam shook his head no, "She's just blocked off her link with us for now. She's very..." Sam wasn't sure what to say. "I would say, hurt." Quil spoke up. Paul and Jared didn't say anything. "Keep your eyes, and ears open. She's out there and alone. Right now she's vulnerable. Help her if she needs it." They all nodded and Sam took off toward my house. He phased back just within the tree line then walked out just wearing a pair of denim shorts.

My mom saw him from the window approaching the house, and got up answering the door. "Sam what's going on?" she asked moving allowing him to come in. He looked at her, "I made Leah, really angry. I stopped her from doing something stupid, impulsive. In the process I ran in front of her and knocked her backwards. She fell on he ground and, she isn't hurt." Charlie cutting him off, "Whoa, whoa, what happened?" Charlie stood up beside my mother and was a little closer to her than usual. Sam rubbed his face, "Leah was going to go do something stupid. In the process I found out and stopped her but, I knocked her over. She said I hit her. I swear to god Sue I would never hurt her." My mom looked at him. Seth was sitting there and muttered under his breath, "Yeah right." My mom looked at Seth, "Stay out of this." Seth piped up, "No, I'm going to take Leah's side on this. She's always been nothing, but nice. She's put up with so much crap. I wouldn't put it past you Sam." Sam sighed, "It's not like that. You don't understand. Seth if you knew what she was going to do." Seth growled, "I don't want to hear it." he was off the couch and slamming the door to his room. "Well, if you see her Sue, tell her I'm really sorry." Sam rubbed the back of his neck. "I will Sam." She nodded and watched him leave the house. Charlie stood there more confused than anyone, "So both of your kids now dislike Sam?" My mom shook her head, "Leah hates him. Let me add with passion. Charlie nodded, "Sounds like Edward and Jacob with Bella. They'd kill each other to be with her. I don't understand these kids. They take love to seriously. My mom nodded and smiled. Charlie smiled back.

"So how about I get us some coffee?" she asked. Charlie nodded, "Sounds good." She walked into the kitchen and started to make some coffee. She pulled down the coffee mugs and turned around bumping into Charlie, "Oh sorry." She smiled blushing slightly. Charlie took the mugs, "It's ok don't worry about it." He walked over setting them down on the table. He sat down and looked at the paper. "So Bella is getting married in a few weeks. Alice, Edwards sister has been planning everything. Bells has been rather quiet recently. She and Edward are always together. I see her when she comes home. He's not a bad kid. As long as he makes her happy that's what matters. I just feel so bad. She's so worried about Jacob. I feel bad." My mom grabbed the coffee once it was done brewing and poured it into both cups and then grabbed the cream and sugar. "Well, Billy isn't that nervous about Jacob being gone. If it were my children I'd be nervous." Charlie nodded, "Sue when Bella disappeared for those few days it scared the hell out of me." She sat down pouring herself some coffee and then grabbing the cream. "Yeah, Billy is extremely laid back." Just as she reached for the sugar so did Charlie. Their hands touched ever so lightly. "Uh sorry here you take it." Charlie pushed it over to her. She kept looking down smiling as she scooped some out stirring her coffee. They talked for several hours. It was about various things. At various times one made the other blush.

Night fall finally had come. I had phased back a while before. I sat there quietly thinking. My idea to attack the Cullen's was out of personal vengeance. I blamed them for my father's death. I blamed Bella as well. I blamed a lot, of people. The only person I could truly blame was my dad. He never ate properly. He knew he had a heart condition but, that never stopped him. It was an underlying condition that I didn't want to acknowledge.  
I found ti easier to blame the Cullen's because they were the natural enemy. I found it easy to blame Bella because she was the enemy. She sided with the blood suckers. I sat there and felt the tears slide down my cheeks. The noise confused me. I hadn't heard anything like it. The gasps for air were coming from me. I couldn't control my breathing. My hands naturally slid up to my hair and I held it. The strands laid in between my fingers. The guilt I'd been carrying since his death slowly opened up. It was like a book that had a light shining on it. I shouldn't blame myself. I shouldn't blame anyone. Death is a natural occurrence. It takes us by such shock. Even if we have a loved one who's dying, and know it. We just don't know when to expect it. It leaves a void in your life. It's like a piece to the puzzle will always be missing.

Charlie was still at the house with my mom. Seth had gone out for a bit. He'd been cooped up all day. They sat quietly on the couch. There was quiet chatter while they watched the television. My mom moved closer and laid her head against Charlie's shoulder. He smiled. His arm slide off the back of the couch, and wrap around her. She smiled wide and blushed softly, as did Charlie. Her heart started to race. It was like falling in love, all over again. The butterflies you felt when he looked at you. When he touched your hand. When he smiled at you. She carefully pushed her hair behind her ear. The soft light hit her diamond earring perfectly. There was a light shimmer. It was like something out of a movie. He leaned his head against the top of hers. Slowly he started to play with her soft black silky hair. The smile that spread across their faces was, mesmerizing. Charlie chuckled softly. With his free hand he moved it over to my moms. Quietly he laced his fingers with hers. The fire that was burning between these two hearts, was not going to die. My mom slowly pulled away and looked at him smiling. Charlie very quietly leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips. The passion behind the kiss was true magic. Once the kiss ended they went back to cuddling on the couch. The hours ticked on when they fell asleep on the couch together.

Seth had come home late so he snuck in through his window. He was able to avoid the front of the house. The woods had many paths that lead right into our back yard. He didn't want to face the wrath of my mother. Especially when she was angry. I had sat there for quite a while that night. It was some time after midnight because the moon had shifted behind the clouds. I decided it was time for me to head home. Sam had probably headed home to Emily. I guessed Quil and Embry were staked out by the treaty line. There was no point in trying that move again. I walked through the woods and heard movement around me and sighed, "Jared and Paul if that's you, go away. I'm going home. I don't need a babysitter." Jared smirked, "Damn Paul you were right. She's good." I rolled my eyes. "Sam wanted us to make sure you were ok." Paul said jumping over a down tree, emerging from the darkness. I shrugged, "I'm fine. Tell Embry and Quil they can head home as well." I kept walking along. "How the hell does figure this out?" Jared was still puzzled. "It's not rocket science genius. Let me take back the last part. You're far from a genius." Paul laughed. I continued walking home and they turned to go find Embry and Quil.

I quietly walked out of the woods. There in the driveway sat not two vehicles but three. I raised an eyebrow. There was my mom's car. My dads truck which I now drove. Then there was a blue shimmer of light that struck me. I noticed it had writing, Forks Police. I didn't understand what was happening. Then it hit me. I was late. My mom probably told Charlie who was ready to hang up flyers for me as well. I walked up to the house seeing some soft light coming from the front window. Great they're in the living room. I quietly opened the door to find, my mom and Charlie curled up on the couch asleep. I was shocked. I quietly shut the door and walked over and covered them up. I shut off the television and headed to my room. I kicked off my sneakers and just laid down in my clothes. I put my hands behind my head and stared at the ceiling. I couldn't believe what I had seen. My mom and Charlie. It baffled me. Finally the sleepiness kicked in and I fell asleep.

I woke up the next more to a wet pillow case. My mouth was hanging open, "Oh gross." I had drooled in my sleep. I was exhausted. Seth sat there and laughed, "What a nice way to wake up?" I rolled over and pulled the dry side of my pillow over my head, "Go away Seth." He grinned and yanked the pillow away, tossing it on the floor. "Listen to me. Sam's probably pissed at me. I don't care. He came by last night to, "APOLOGIZE." Seth used air quotes which made me laugh. "Did he tell you what happened?" Seth nodded, "A little. That you were going to do something stupid. That didn't shock me. He knocked you back or something. Anyway mom told me to stay out of it. I said I wouldn't. You take too much crap from them." I smiled, "Did you know Charlie fell asleep here last night. He and mom were on the couch?" Seth's eyes went wide, "What!? No way!" I nodded, "Yeah they were all snuggled up. I covered them up to be nice. I mean, Charlie and mom. That threw me." Seth nodded, "I snuck in through my window so I wouldn't get in trouble for coming home late." I nodded.

We walked out to the living room and nobody was there. My mom and Charlie were in the kitchen chatting and having some coffee. "Hello kids." Charlie smiled. My mom smiled at us, "There's eggs, bacon and some toast waiting of two plates. Each of you go grab one." She looked back at Charlie for a moment then picked up her coffee drinking it. "Well I should get going. I need to get some things done around the house. I will talk to you later." My mom smiled, "Ok sounds good." Charlie waved and left. "So how was your night last night?" I asked. "It was nice. How was yours?" I shrugged, "Rather interesting. Came home to a real surprise." My mom nodded, "So let me guess. You covered us up?" I smiled, "Guilty. So when's he moving in?" She shook her head, "Leah relax ok. We're just friends." I laughed, "Mom, I'm eighteen. Let's skip over the act." She sighed, "Leah, it's nice to have someone around that I can share my company with." I smiled, "By, all means. Share away. I'm good with not adding any siblings to our family. Especially from Charlie's side. If you guys were to have a kid, who's to say it wouldn't turn on us for the next Cullen that may come around. Oh look a leech, let me get married." My mom hit the table with her fist, "ENOUGH LEAH." I looked at her. "I'm done." I pushed away the half eaten food and went to my room slamming the door and locking it. "Well I'm happy for you and Charlie. I don't care. I like Bella. She's cool." my mom smiled and patted Seth's hand.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23 ~ Suicide would be less painful than this dinner.

The rest of the day passed. I ignored the repeated knocks, on my door. The smell of the food filled the house. "Dinner in fifteen minutes. I want both of you at this table. Leah no complaining." My mom called out. I heard a car pull up outside. The engine went quiet and a door opened and shut. I listened carefully and recognized the footsteps on the gravel, Charlie. The front door opened, "Hello handsome." Mom smiled. Charlie blushed, "Hello beautiful." It was so gross and wrong to hear this. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die at this point. My mom walked back into the kitchen with Charlie and they talked softly and engaged that new love smiles and soft laughter. I stayed in my room until I heard another car pull up. It was absolutely noiseless except for the sound that the tires made pulling onto the gravel. I raised an eyebrow listening carefully. Once she was out of the car I got a whiff of leech, and our smell. I growled. I flung my door open and stomped out to the kitchen and looked at my mom. She looked at me and smiled. She was here for dinner. Love how they slipped her in. It's like a parent putting the presents under the tree from Santa. Sneaky, and so not cool. Seth was about to rip the door off the hinges before she got out. Cullen bought her a car. A sleek black armored vehicle sat in our driveway. Looked very out of place for the reservation. She timidly climbed out. Seth was out the door and hugging her. "BELLA. Oh my god. It's been like forever. How are you. I'm so excited you're here." I stood there rolling my eyes. "Leah please bring the food over to the table." My mom asked sweetly. I quietly snatched the food off the counter and put it on the table with a thud, thud, thud. Making sure they knew how angry I was. "Hello." Bella said walking in the door. My mom went over hugging her, "Hi Bella. How are you?" My mom was rubbing my nerves raw. We hadn't even had dinner.

"DINNERS READY!" I yelled and sat down in my usual spot. Seth sat down in his spot making sure Bella had room to sit beside him. Maybe she could hold hands with Seth. Had to replace Jacob with another wolf boy. I swear if she hurt my brother, I'd kill her before the Cullen's could. My mom and Charlie sat how my parent's used to. One on each end. My mom gave me a look. I knew I was treading on thin ice. I just shrugged and she glared at me. I quietly put some food on my plate. Charlie dug right in along with Seth. After some time Charlie was able to stop for a moment, "This is delicious Sue." My mom smiled. I rolled my eyes. My mom made small talk so it wasn't quiet.

Then Seth finally murdered the dinner, "So, August, thirteenth is the big day? You excited?" Seth grinned Bella smiled a little turning red, "Yeah. I have no idea what's going on really. Alice is planning it all, including my dress. I have no idea what anything looks like." Seth laughed, "She's cool." I clenched my fork so tight I bent it. Seth noticed it and looked at me, so did Bella.

The small talk started up again. I looked around for a second, Charlie and Bella were gone. It was my dad sitting in his seat again. I could hear his laughter in my head and saw his beautiful smile. "Leah, you ok?" My mom touched my hand. "Uh," I stuttered, "Yeah." I looked back over and Charlie and Bella sat there. We finished dinner and before we could digest, desert was already being served. "I hope you don't mind but fresh hot brownies with, vanilla ice cream." I eyed Bella, "Hmm the best of both worlds." She smiled and nodded, "Yeah." Charlie smiled, "Coffee as well I hope?" He smiled at my mom, and I mentally gagged. Seth helped clear the dishes as my mom set out the desert. My mom passed out plates with brownies and ice cream on them. "Dig in." I smirked and Seth raised an eyebrow. I finally let the real fun begin. I hated Bella. I hated the fact she was in my house. I didn't even want her on the reservation, let alone the state of Washington. I slowly ate the ice cream off my spoon, "Mmm. So sweet. Love vanilla ice cream. It's so cold and yummy." Charlie nodded, "I prefer my brownie first." I nodded, "Well I wait until the cold is gone. Then I have some brownie. So WARM and chewy." Charlie nodded, "Wouldn't have it any other way." Bella sat there quietly having her desert. Seth had already inhaled 3 brownies along with 3 scoops of ice cream. Then after the brownie, I have to go back to my ice cream. You've gotta balance out the cold and warm. But, then I take the last of my brownie and savor it. Before you know it, well it's gone. Then there's the ice cream to seal the deal." I looked right at Bella. Doesn't that sound so good." Seth looked up at me and with a mouth full of brownie. She just looked at me. Had I got under that skin of hers? I sure as hell hoped so.

So we continued to chat a bit. "So Bella have you been accepted to any colleges?" My mom asked. She nodded, "Yeah. Quite a few. I'm really looking at the University Of Alaska." I had to cover my mouth before I started laughing. "Wow. That's interesting. Not much to do up there I suppose." My mom said taking a sip of her coffee. "Mom, there's tons of wildlife up there, bears, dears, and other animals. Edward would love that. He loves animals." Bella nodded, "Yeah he does. He loves the wilderness." I let my head fall back before I laughed again. Seth piped up after finally eating his brownie, "I had a goldfish once. I walked in my room one day and found it sleeping on it's back. That was the last of pet's for me." I laughed at that point. My mom, Charlie and Bella all chuckled.

After we finished desert Bella smiled at my mom, "I hate to do this, but I need to get going. I have to swing by the Cullen's and talk to Alice. Dinner and desert were delicious. Thank you again fro inviting me Sue." She stood up and pulled out her car keys, "Dad I will see you probably tomorrow." He nodded, "Ok Bells. Be careful." She smiled and hugged him gently and headed towards the door. "I will walk you out." Seth stood up and walked with Bella to her car. My mom looked at me, "So what are your plans." I shrugged and got up and went to my room and shut the door. Once Seth and Bella were safely outside she looked at him, "Why does she hate me so much? I don't know what I did wrong." Seth sighed, "She's angry at the world. She hates you because, you've kept the Cullen's around. She hate's them more than any of us. Even more than Jacob does." Bella nodded and paled a little, "I never meant for Leah to hate me. I like her. I wish she would just give me a chance." Seth nodded, "I'm her brother and there are days, she's practically ripped off my head." Bella nodded, "I need to get going. I will tell Edward you said hello." She smiled. "Thanks Bella." She quietly slipped in the car and carefully backed out of the driveway and headed down the dark road. Seth turned and walked back in the house and went to his room as well.

I waited a while until I decided to head out for a bit. I wasn't on patrol tonight. I decide to take advantage of the freedom I had when I was in wolf form. I was able to move faster. I could get lost and not worry about things. I walked into the woods and undressed quietly. I tied my clothes to my leg and phased. I started running through the woods. I was close to the treaty line before I knew it. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I didn't notice the others in my head. There was so much going on at the moment I couldn't handle. I worried about my mom and Charlie getting really serious. I didn't mind Charlie. He'd never replace my dad. If he and my mom got married that would mean she'd be part of my family. That would mean so would the leech. Seth would love that, not me though. But then again they'd never be around. Then my thoughts wondered to Jacob. What would he do once she was changed. What would happen to him. A low growl came through my thoughts. It was Jacob's growl. Then the most sickening thought took over my thoughts. I couldn't believe I would even consider the thought. What if Carlisle had been around when my dad had his heart attack. Could he have saved him? I shook my head horrified. How could I even consider having my father become a monster like them. Then again I'd have him forever. But what would happen when my mom died, unless. I was letting my crazy thoughts get carried away with. Where the hell were these all coming from. They were the reason my dad. I was, grasping at anything. I was desperate. I couldn't think anymore it was making me physically sick. I could feel my stomach turn, and the nausea slowly crept up on me. My head started to hurt.

I realized I wasn't alone then. I caught the scent of the Cullen's near by. It smelled like the leader and his mate. I knew they were going out for dinner. I wondered how weird it must be. Pretending to be a human being. Not eating food. Surviving off strictly blood. Never sleeping. Being frozen in time. Being a piece of stone. Great now I was thinking about them. I heard several snickers run through my thoughts and let out a growl mentally and took off towards the beach. Just before I hit the tree line I phased back and untied the clothes, getting dressed again. I walked out on to the beach and found a piece of drift wood to lean against. I sat there for some time just to gather my thoughts. I felt my eyelids getting heavy. I laid my head against the driftwood and fell asleep.

Back at the house the minutes ticked by. My mom curled up with Charlie on the couch. "It doesn't seem real." He said softly playing with her hair. "What doesn't?" My mom asked looking up at him. "Bella getting married. It seems like she was just born. The next thing I know she's in high school. She has a boyfriend. Then she's telling me she's engaged and now, marriage." My mom smiled, "Charlie they grow up." He nodded, "I had her call Renee to tell her. I was hoping she'd convince Bella on what a mistake she was making. No luck there. She was so excited." Charlie quietly laced his fingers with my moms. "Charlie, if it's what she wants, let her be happy. That was the end of the conversation.

The night slowly past. I woke up feeling a bit sticky from the sand. I looked up at the cloudy sky. From what I could tell where the moon sat behind the clouds it must have been about three o'clock in morning. I was rather shocked a search party wasn't sent out for me. I decided to head home and get some more sleep. As I walked home a warm breeze came along, and gently kissed my cheek. Then in the distant I heard wind chimes and smiled, "Hi dad. I miss you." As soon as the last word left my lips, the breeze was gone. I quietly crept back in my room through the window and laid down on my bed. I looked over at the picture of my dad that sat on my desk, I sighed and fell asleep.

The next morning came and Charlie was in the kitchen with my mom. I heard them laughing and talking. I came around and felt something touch my hand. "Hey sleepy. Mom wants you to come have breakfast." Seth said quietly heading out of my room. My heart ached a little. I so wished it was my dad sitting out there. "Is your sister up?" Seth nodded sitting down to his plate of food, "Yeah. She's a bit groggy though." I could smell the food and slowly pulled my self out of bed. I grabbed my towels and took a shower and went back to my room to get dressed. "Leah breakfast. Come on hun." My mom called out sitting down to her breakfast.

I walked into the kitchen and gently hugged her, "Thanks." I sat down and quietly ate. Charlie read the paper. Seth was done before I had even had a bite of my pancake. "Thanks mom." He said quickly putting his plate in the sink and ran out the front door. "He's off early." Charlie said looking at the door, then back at my mom. "He's going to hang out with his friends." Charlie nodded, "I see." He went back to reading the paper. My mom looked at me as I ate, "Are you ok? You look very tired?" I nodded, "Yeah just tired." I finished my breakfast and escaped to my room.I stayed quiet and didn't do much. I spent most of the day quietly reading. I couldn't explain how I was feeling. It's like I was a shell. It seemed like my soul had escaped at some point. I quietly wrote in my journal,

Don't judge me for who I am. Until you've walked in my shoes, keep your thoughts to yourself. Until you've seen the pain my soul has endured, keep your assumptions to yourself. You should never should judge a book by the cover. There may be a very deep story to it, but you never took the time to learn it.

I felt like I had more insight recently. On what level or subject I wasn't quite sure. I felt like there was a muse around me. I decided to give up for now and just stay quiet. Communicating with others was just a lot of work, and seemed quite pointless. I took a nap before I had to patrol tonight. I was running with Seth, Embry and Quil tonight. It was easier running with them. They weren't as judgmental as the others. The hardest would be, Jacob's thoughts. Most of the time it was just blurs of colors, until something reminded him of her. I hated the girl more than anything, more than Sam possibly. The pain he felt was enough to make you want to claw out your brain. The telepathy was such a prison sometimes. The patrol went quietly without any issues. We made our way home as dawn was starting to break. I detoured to the beach. I spent some quiet time alone. After some time it was time to head home. I could feel the heaviness taking over my eyelids.

I walked in the front door quietly. My mom was already up cooking, "How did things go last night?" She asked from the dining room table. "It was quiet, on all aspects." She nodded, "So no word on anything from him." I just nodded, "Seth already home?" I asked. "Yeah he's already asleep." I could hear the snoring coming from his room. "Wow he got home faster than I did." She nodded, "Why is that?" I shrugged, " I took my time, and stopped by the ocean for a bit." She smiled, "Did you have a nice talk with your dad?" She knew what I was doing down there. I shrugged, "I guess if that's what you call it. I'm going to go crash." I went to my room and just barely made it to my bed before I feel asleep.

Two weeks passed without much action leading up until, fourth of July. There was a huge cookout at Emily's house. We all went. Charlie tagged along with my mom. Bella wasn't around anymore thank god. There were fire works, food, laughter, music, howling boys and fun. I stayed quiet. I tucked away on a log most of the time. I hated to be here. I hated just seeing everyone so happy. Embry sat down beside me, "Do you mind me sitting here? I will leave if you want me to." I shook my head, "No your fine." Embry looked at me, "I'm sorry about a few nights ago. I wasn't laughing at your thoughts. I know it's not easy, not having your dad around." I was shocked to have Embry talk to me. He gave a faint smile, "I'm going to grab some food. See you later." He got up and left me alone. Emily looked over at me and gave a faint smile. She made her way to the table of food and was making a plate for me. By the time she turned around to give it to me, I was gone. She saw me walking off down the road. "Let her go. It's for the best." Sam spoke softly.

I was so angry. Everyone was having a good time. I just felt out of place. I knew I didn't belong there. Everyone had someone, or something to occupy them. Even Jacob was occupying himself. He'd run off to Canada and was living out his wolf life. He could occupy his time. I had nothing. I had no girlfriends to go hang out with. I was a wolf. I didn't wear dresses, makeup, nail polish or do my hair. I was plain old Leah Clearwater. I was struggling with something. I wasn't sure what it was. I hated myself more than anyone ever could. I felt like a monster. Nobody would ever want a girl who turned into a wolf when triggered. I went home and turned laid on my bed and started crying. Music softly played on the radio. I couldn't care anymore. I heard Charlie's cruiser pull up outside. My mom was in the house, "Leah? Honey where are you?" She was in my room. "Leah." She sighed and pulled me into her arms. "It's ok. Let it out." She rubbed my back when the song came on Keep Holding on.

You're not alone

Together we stand

I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand

When it gets cold

And it feels like the end

There's no place to go

You know I won't give in

No I won't give in

Keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Just stay strong

'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you

There's nothing you could say

Nothing you could do

There's no other way when it comes to the truth

So keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

So far away

I wish you were here

Before it's too late, this could all disappear

Before the doors close

And it comes to an end

With you by my side I will fight and defend

I'll fight and defend

Yeah, yeah

Keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Just stay strong

'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you

There's nothing you could say

Nothing you could do

There's no other way when it comes to the truth

So keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Hear me when I say, when I say I believe

Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny

Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

La da da da

La da da da

La da da da da da da da da

Keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Just stay strong

'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you

There's nothing you could say

Nothing you could do

There's no other way when it comes to the truth

So keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Keep holding on

Keep holding on

There's nothing you could say

Nothing you could do

There's no other way when it comes to the truth

So keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Charlie poked his head around the doorway and looked at my mom. She gently rested her chin on top of my head. Charlie mouthed, "Everything ok?" My mom shrugged slightly. Charlie went and sat down in the living room. "Leah I'm here to listen. You know that. If you want to talk that's fine. If not that's ok as well." I finally stopped crying, "There's so much going on in my head. I'm not ready to talk." She nodded and hugged me again, "I will let you rest." She slowly let go and kissed the top of my head and walked shutting the door behind her. I was so tired of running, fighting, hiding, and crying. I just let myself fall asleep.

A couple of weeks passed. I tried dodging patrols. There weren't any threats at the moment. Sam just wanted to make sure there were no unwanted guests on our land. Our house was becoming a hang out. On my mom's night's off from work Charlie was over. During the day Billy came over, "Sue it's so nice to get out of the house. Thank you for having me over." She smiled, "It's nice having you over. It get's lonely sometimes when Charlie's at work. Seth is off with his friends. Leah, well she shut's us out. Well today she's not come out of her room." Billy nodded, "It's already been four months today. How are you holding up?" My mom smiled and sighed softly, "It's hard. I miss him. I'm doing ok for now. How did the kids do when you lost Sarah?" Billy's face showed the pain, "The girls just shut down like Leah did. It was horrible. I could hear them crying, I couldn't do anything about it. Jacob was just stunned. He took it like Seth did. He cried at first then just moved on with it. I do miss her. I have to tell myself she's in a better place." My mom smiled.

I sat at my desk and looked up at the calendar hanging on my wall, July 16th. In small writing it said 4 Months with a drawing of a broken heart. For the past four months, entries made on the sixteenth were hard. I opened my journal and grabbed a pen and started reading.

April 16th

My legs have this jelly feeling in them right now. I'm sitting down luckily. I wish this was all a dream. I miss him so much. I lost my best friend. I caught myself a few days ago. I went to walk out to the living room. I expected to see my dad sitting there. I had something to tell him. When I finally got there, the room was empty. That's when my heart sank. I slowly feel my dreams fading away. I feel like I'm losing hope. I wish I convinced my dad to eat healthier. He loved to eat. I wish he went out for walks more often. I wish I never phased. I'd be normal. He'd be alive. It wouldn't have been such a shock in Seth phased. He is a male after all. All I remember is how cold he felt. God please just give him back

May 16th

Two months. It still feels like the day after it all happened. I feel so confused. My head feel's like a race track with thoughts. My heart aches. I swear I can slowly feel feel it cracking. When something cracks, eventually it shatters. One thing about death, it ages you quickly. I don't want anyone's pity. I don't want someone feeling bad for me. I just remembered my dads laugh. It was so warm and enthusiastic. His stomach shook when he laughed hard. It came from the soul. I'm not realizing, some of my hopes and dreams will never come true. I will never have him to walk me down the aisle, if I'm ever lucky enough.

June 16th

Where do I begin. It's been a rough couple of weeks, actually months. My life feels like a ship stuck at sea. There have been these terrible storms, and the waves have been relentless. The ship has taken such a beating, it's unfair. The ship is supposed to be so strong but slowly, it's losing the battle to stay afloat. Slowly the crew have to give up on it. So they will either perish with the ship, or bring it back to shore to dock permanently. Seeing as though I'm the ship, I'd rather be let go. At least maybe then, I could find some peace.

I turned to the next page where I had taped something down. It was called,

**An Irish Funeral Prayer**

Death is nothing at all.

It does not count.

I have only slipped away into the next room.

Everything remains as it was.

The old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.

Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.

Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.

Put no sorrow in your tone.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.

Let it be spoken without effort.

Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was.

There is unbroken community.

Why should I be out of my mind because I am out of sight?  
I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.

All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.

One brief moment and all will be as it was before.

How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting, when we meet again.

Author Unknown.

July 16th

It's been four months. The past four months I've been building a wall around my heart. I just want to talk to him. To feel his hug. To feel his warmth. When I realize I'm all alone, my heart aches. I know there are people around me but it's not the same. I don't want to admit he's gone. It's easier to pretend he's off fishing on the weekends. I don't have anything else to write. What's the point. Nothing's going to bring him back.

I shut the journal and put it away in my desk. I sat there not sure what I wanted to do. I could easily hear the conversation going on between Billy and my mother. I wondered if Billy was jealous of Charlie and my mom showing an interest in one another. Was he the jealous type like his son. Maybe he had a hope of sneaking in and getting Charlie out of the picture. I was really losing it. All I knew was, I didn't have it in me to deal with another love triangle. I've gone through two already. Being in Jacob's thoughts was enough to, make us want to scream. Mine, well, I will never stop loving him. The only thing that will change that is, if I imprint, or I die.

"So how are you and Charlie?" Billy asked. I cocked my head towards the door and listened. "We're good. We still are getting to know each other. Taking things slow to be safe. I don't want to rush things. I don't need the kids, feeling like I'm trying to replace Harry." Billy looked at her with his dark eyes, "Sue, you deserve to be happy." She smiled, "Yes I do. I know Seth would take it easy. That's just his nature. Leah, well that's just another ticking time bomb. She's like a volcano. I don't know when she'll explode." Billy laughed a little, "She's quick tempered like, Paul. She's got a good heart underneath the facade." I was bored with this conversation. I tuned out the rest.

I turned my head slightly. That's when I noticed it. The flicker of light off of the latch. I crawled onto the floor and reached under my bed, retrieving the small wooden box. I leaned against my bed, placing the box in my lap. Inside were a few cards, a couple of notes and a letter from Sam. I felt the rush of emotions take over as I picked up the items. First was a small note.

Good morning beautiful,

Thank you for being in my life. I love you Leah.

Sam

My heart started to ache. Then next was the card. I remember the conversation so easily. "Happy Valentines Day, babe." His warm smile, made me blush and my heart melt. "You too." I leaned in to kiss him, as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "So I got you something small, just a card." I smiled, "I feel bad. I didn't get you anything." Sam carefully placed a finger on my lips. "Oh but Leah you did. You gave my your heart. You gave me your trust. You've given me your love." I started to tear up, "That's so sweet." He chuckled, "Just like you." He scooped me up off my feet and carried me along the beach. "So will you promise to be mine, forever?" he asked looking into my eyes. "Of course. Will you be mine?" He laughed, "Of course." he said carefully setting me down at our spot on the beach. He pulled the card out of his back pocket, "Don't laugh at me because I went all mushy. I love you Leah." I smiled, "Mushy is ok." He sat down pulling me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me. I took the card opening it,

Sometimes when I look at you,

I can hardly believe you're mine.

I think about

how attractive you are,

how caring and sensitive,

how interesting and funny,

and I can hardly believe

that out of this whole world of people,

I was lucky enough to find you.

Sometimes when I look at you,

I remember what it was like

in the beginning, when we were just

getting to know each other

I'll never forget

the nervous excitement

I used to feel every time I saw you...

and I smile every time

I relieve the tenderness

of our very first kiss

Sometimes when I look at you

I get lost in memories

of special times

we've shared,

in daydreams of the happiness

we've yet to discover together.

Every time I look at you,

I realize how much I love

the love we share

and how very much

I love you

Renee Duvall

Sorry I couldn't put it into my own words Leah, but you make my head detach from brain. This is truly how I feel. I love you baby. Happy Valentines Day. You'll always hold a special place in my heart.

Sam

I carefully slid the card back in the envelope and kissed him. "Earth to Leah. Come in Leah." My mom was standing there, "Huh?" I looked up quickly putting the card back in it's envelope, and shoved it back in the box. "Billy and I are going to head to get some ice cream. We were wondering if you might want to tag along?" I looked at her, "No I will pass. Sorry. Just tired." She nodded, "I'll be back in a little bit." She was out of my doorway and heading out the door with Billy. I pushed the box back under my bed, along with my heart. As badly as I wanted to be over Sam, I couldn't be. I had given him my, everything. He took my heart and smashed it against the cold, hard ground.

My mom came home a little bit later. Charlie was over like usual. We quietly ate dinner. Had to pretend like we, were some happy family. Well the three of them were. I hated the whole acting thing. I didn't like the idea of my mom moving on so suddenly. I thought she was supposed to miss my dad so much. Take her time finding someone new to fill the void in her life. Were we not enough? I was being selfish. My whole world had been turned upside down within months. Now I was supposed to just, deal with it, move on. It wasn't happening. I was angry and I needed answers.

Weeks were passing and the days moved quicker. Every time I went into the kitchen I saw the calendar marked, WEDDING on August 13th. I was not going to attend that show. I'm all set with being vampire bate. What happened if the leeches got thirsty at the party? Would the guests become an appetizing drink? Seth nudged me a little, "Leah I want to get something out of the fridge." I shook my head and walked into the living room. I sat down and looked out the window. the warm breeze blew through the open window. "That feels so nice, doesn't it?" My mom smiled sitting down on the couch. "Yeah just wonderful." I was polite enough to hide the sarcasm. Seth came out after finishing a carton of orange juice. "Mom we need more juice." Seth said flopping his long gangly body on the couch. "Seth come on. I just bought that two days ago." I looked over at both of them, "He drank it in the past two days. Brat hasn't shared it at all." Seth smirked, "I'm a growing boy mom." He nudged my mom and she laughed. I got up and walked out the front door. "One of her moods again?" Seth asked. My mom shook her head, "No hun. She seemed to have something on her mind. Distracted." Seth nodded.

I walked down to the beach and kicked off my flip flops. I walked right into the water and started swimming around. It felt so nice to be in the water. I swam through the waves and smiled. I actually laughed when I got hit by a wave. I realized I wasn't alone. Someone was standing on the beach looking at me. Then I saw him walking into the water. "Wow. Wish I had a camera for this. Leah Clearwater, laughing." Embry smiled. I shook my head and smiled, "I do have a fun side. Just felt the need to go swimming." Embry laughed, "Clothes and all. You picked a good time to come. Not a lot of people around. It's like your own private beach." I nodded, "So what brought you down here? On the hunt to find your, "Imprint." I smiled. Embry shook his head, "Nah. Just needed to get away from home for a bit. Just doing a lot of thinking." He waded until the water was up to his waist and looked at me. "What?" I laughed. He shrugged, "Nothing." We sam quietly for some time until we headed home.

A couple of weeks passed with no action, and I was thankful. It was August 12th and I was bored, "Mom want me to go do some grocery shopping?" I asked her grabbing the keys to my dad's truck. "Yeah that would be great if you don't mind." I smiled and was out the door and on my way down the road before she could say goodbye. I spent my time thinking when I drove. I wondered who would be next to imprint. I pulled into the parking lot and hopped out and retrieved a cart and started shopping. I walked up and down the aisle's picking things up I knew we needed. I got to the orange juice I bought several cartons. So help, if Seth drank all these in two days, I'd kill him. I finished up shopping and checked out. I put the groceries in the truck and drove home.

Seth was on the phone with Bella,

"Tell Edward I said hi, 'kay?"  
"Sure thing."  
"Ah," Seth said, his voice cracking up an octave.  
"Er, Leah's home."  
"Oh! Bye!"

I pulled into the driveway and parked. Seth came out and helped me, "Billy's visiting." I nodded, "Drink all the orange juice, and you'll be a fur rug." Seth laughed, "I won't promise. I'll make it last 3 days." I just shook my head and eyed him. He looked nervous, "Everything ok?" He shook his head, "Yeah." I went inside and noticed the phone was about to fall off the table. She had called. Seth was afraid of me getting upset. "Hello Leah." Billy smiled. "Hey Billy." I put away the groceries and went to my room. "Thank you Leah." My mom called out. "Yeah whatever." I flopped on my bed and wondered, was Billy was trying to win my mom over. Maybe he had a hope of sneaking her away from Charlie. In all honesty I couldn't deal with another love triangle. I might just kill myself. I laid down and fell asleep.

I woke up the next day and it was later in the day already. The sun had already made it's way to the western sky. I looked at my calendar, August 13th. "Mom, I'm ready." Seth called out. I sat up rubbing my eyes, "Damn what time is it?" My mom was in my door way, "Time for you, to wake up. Seth and I will be heading out soon." I looked at the clock, "Oh man it's 3:45pm. Why'd you let me sleep so late." Seth piped up as usual, "Because the house was quiet while your dead to the world." I shook my head and pulled myself off the bed and poked my head in my mom's room, "You look nice mom." She smiled, "Thank you." The last time I saw her dressed up was at my dad's funeral. She was wearing a light purple summery dress. It was loose fitting. She had on some lilac colored flats. She was wearing a pair of small pearl earrings, my dad bought her. She smiled softly. She didn't need any makeup. She had the most beautiful complexion. She looked at me, "Are you ok?" I nodded, "Yeah. I'm going to get something to eat." I left her to finish getting ready and went to the kitchen.

I opened the fridge and pulled out stuff to make a sandwich. Seth appeared, "Are you sure you won't come? The invitation was for all of us." Seth spoke rather softly compared to normal. I shook my head, "Nope! I'd rather be stung multiple times by Jellyfish, then attend that wedding. Please tell her I couldn't get her wedding gift. I'm having trouble picking up the piece's of Jacob's broken heart. He's run away, and refuses to come back home." Seth glared at me, "You're such a jerk." My mom walked out before I could say anything, "Seth let's get going. Leah we'll see you in a little bit." I smiled a little and muttered, "As long as you're not an appetizer." Seth heard me and growled and walked out the door. I quietly made my sandwich and ate it.

I had time to kill and a house to myself. I lounged around and watched a movie. It was eerily quiet. I wondered what was going on at the "wedding". I felt bad for my mom. She didn't want to go. She refused to let Seth venture into a vampire wedding alone. Plus Billy needed a ride there. I fought to keep my eyes open until the sandman won once again. I was sprawled across the couch. I slept until the front door flung open. "Seth what's going on? Please talk to me." My mom was pleading. "Leave me alone ok." He stormed off to his room slamming the door. I startled awake and sat up, "What happened? What's going on?" My mom looked at me, "I'm not sure. Your brother is quite upset. Maybe you can talk to him." I nodded, "I will try." I got up and knocked on his door, "Seth?" There was a growl, "Just go away Leah." I knocked again, "Seth what happened?" His door flung open, "What didn't happen Leah? I had to pull Jacob away from Bella. He snapped. Then it get's better Sam was in the woods, with Quil and Embry babysitting me. They hung out there in wolf form. I can't go to my friends wedding without being watched." I sighed, "I'm sorry. He doesn't trust the Cullen's like you do. I don't either." Seth got angrier, "Go away." He slammed the door again in my face and locked it and turned on music. I peeked in on my mom. She had fallen asleep in her room. I shut off the television in her room, and shut the door. I laid on my bed for a while. I didn't know what to do. I was angry at Sam for not trusting my brother. But then I understood that Seth was to comfortable with believing the Cullen's wouldn't hurt him. I finally fell asleep while thinking.

The next day I woke up as the sun for once broke through the grey sky. I decided to make breakfast for everyone. The coffee pot was already brewing. I pulled out mugs, glasses and plates. Charlie was already lightly knocking on the door at 6:45am. "Morning Charlie." I smiled opening the door. "Hey Leah. Everyone asleep?" I shrugged, "Seth probably is. He was angry last night. My mom fell asleep just after she got home." He nodded, "Any coffee yet?" He smiled gently. "I can have some ready. Come sit down and relax." He sat down at the table as the coffee just finished brewing. I poured him a cup and set it down in front of him. "Thanks Leah." He smiled and looked at the paper. I went back to making breakfast. My mom walked out smiling still in her pajama's. "This is a nice treat. Thank you Leah." She walked over and kissed Charlie on the cheek. He wrapped an arm around her waist pulling her closer. "So you're all mine today?" He smiled. She giggled softly, and I laughed. "Bella looked beautiful yesterday. That was a gorgeous dress. The whole whole wedding was beautiful." Charlie nodded, "Yeah. Alice worked very hard on all of that. I just can't believe my little girl is married now. Bella Cullen. Sounds so strange to me." My mom smiled, "I can imagine." Charlie smiled, "As long as they are both happy that's what matters. As long as he treats her well, and keeps her safe that's what's important." I stayed quiet knowing what was going to happen to her. I'd wondered if she was already being turned as they spoke. I finished making breakfast and put it on the plates. I set down two plates by Charlie and my mom. I also brought over a cup of coffee for her as well.

My mom sat down beside Charlie and started eating. I left a plate for Seth at his seat if he ever came out. I took my usual seat and dove into my food. Seth came out a few minutes later. Seth was never angry. His face was showing a mix of emotions, angry, hurt, confused but most of all, vulnerable. I never knew one's persons face could show so many emotions. Mom and Charlie talked quietly. I looked at Seth, as he kept his head down eating. Once he finished, he pushed away from the table and went back to his room. My mom looked at me, "Has he spoken to you?" I shook my head, "Not really." I lied. Last night I felt so bad for Seth. "Let him cool off. He's a boy." Charlie smiled and finished his coffee.

After breakfast, I showered and got dressed. I decided to go for a walk. Like usual I ended up at the beach. I sat down in the sand and just looked up. The beach was rather quiet for a weekend. Some time later Jacob found, "I need to talk to you. I owe Seth an apology." I looked up at him. "So go apologize to him. He's at home." Jacob growled, "Do you ever shut up Leah?" I stood up and looked at him, "Do you ever stop chasing other guys girls?" He snarled then, "Listen I screwed up bad ok. Your brother pulled me away from killing Cullen last night. Then Sam had to get involved." I looked at him, "Seth pulled you away. Wow." Jacob nodded, "Just tell him I'm sorry when you see him." I nodded and watched him take off for the woods. Now I was very curious to know what happened. I would have paid to see Jacob kill a leech.

I finally came back home just before dinner. My mom smiled, "Sam wants you to call him." I raised an eyebrow, "Did he say why?" She shook her head, "It sounded important. Just call." I stood up and walked out of the room. I went to my room and sat on the bed, and called Sam at Emily's house."Hello." Emily answered, "Sam called." I spoke keeping my voice monotone. I heard the rustle of her handing him the phone. "Hello Leah." His voice caused my heart to speed up a little. "You called my mom said." I tried to act like, talking to him didn't bother me. It was hard. "Yes I did. So Jacob had a small incident at the wedding. I listened, "I caught part of it. What exactly happened. All I know is Jacob and Seth are both pissed." I waited to hear the story of the night. "Jacob grabbed Bella last night. He's angry because of a choice she is making. Seth pulled him off." I rolled my eyes. "Yeah I heard all that. So what's this about you babysitting Seth? My mom was there with him." Sam sighed, "Leah we couldn't take any chances. Plus Jacob was going to be there. We needed to make sure nobody would get hurt." I was aggravated now, "Dammit Sam just chill. You've pissed off Seth. So you better tell him you were there just for Jacob." Sam became angrier, "Leah, it was for his protection. For your mothers." I growled, "Still lying I see." Sam piped up, "I'm not lying. I couldn't trust Jacob alone there. He almost hurt Bella." I scoffed, "Oh well." Sam was pissed now, "Leah stop it." So I did. Click! I hung up the phone.

I got up off my bed, and knocked on Seth's door. "Go away." Seth grumbled. "Just listen. Jacob wanted to apologize to you. He said he's sorry ok." There was no answer. I was just about to turn around and head back to my room. The door unlocked, "Come in." I slowly turned the handle opening the the door slightly. I slid in quietly looking around the room. Seth was laying on his bed. I sat down at the foot of the bed. "I'm sorry I snapped at you last night. I let them get to me. Just Jacob almost snapped. He grabbed Bella by her arms, and was so angry. I know you don't like her. She's my friend, and he almost hurt her." A small sigh escaped me, "I understand she's your friend." Seth look so hurt, "You all hate her. This animosity is ridiculous Leah. She's an adult. She can make her own decisions. I don't care what some treaty says." I looked at him, "Seth we phase to protect the land. The treaty was put in place by our ancestors." Seth sat up quickly and looked at me, "For someone you hate so much, you act just like him." I looked at Seth. "Leah don't play the confused card. You're just like Sam. Your a bruiting, angry, crazy wolf. You think you know everything. Guess what? News flash. You don't. The Cullen's aren't bad at all. Nobody wants to give them a chance. I did. So deal with it. I understand what Bella wants. She's going to have a real honeymoon with her husband. It pissed Jacob off. You all need to mind your own business." I looked at Seth a bit shocked, "Whoa. He'll..." Seth cut me off, "Shut up Leah. I don't need to hear Jacob's word's come out of your mouth. Remember you don't care about her, or what happens to her." Seth was off the bed and out of his room. "Seth where are you going?" My mom called out. The front door slammed shut. I got up and followed after him. "What is going?" My mom asked me, "Don't worry about it. I've got it." Charlie looked at my mom, "Teenagers?" She smiled.

I chased Seth down the road, "Get back here." Seth clenched his fists, "Get the hell away from me." I grabbed him by his shoulder, "Will you chill out." Seth whipped around and shoved me off of him, "Don't touch me you crazy wolf." He turned around and stomped off down the road. I stood there and watched him take off. He continued to the tree line and slipped inside. I heard a growl come from the woods and then the thudding of his heavy paws running through the woods. I wasn't going to alert Sam. I blame for all of this. I finally walked back to the house and walked inside.

My mom looked up at me, as Charlie kept an arm wrapped around her, "Can I please ask what's going on?" I looked at her. "Go ahead and ask. I can't provide any answers." I walked off to my room and shut the door. Charlie kissed my mom gently on her forehead, "Don't worry about it Sue. Things will work them self out." She smiled and leaned up kissing him. It was getting later in the afternoon. Charlie and my mom were laughing and talking. Then they moved into my mom's room. I heard some music come on a little louder than normal. I cringed only imaging what they might be doing. I just heard giggling and some laughter before I put my headphones on. Dinner time passed and I was on my own. I think my mom and Charlie fell asleep. I waited up, until my eyelids were dead weights. I decided to give up on Seth. He would be home in a little bit.

I dragged myself to bed and passed out. I tossed and turned and got up check several times in the night to see if, he might have come home. His bed was still empty. I was rather concerned. It was unlike Seth to take off like this. I finally went back to bed and slept until sometime in the late morning. I got up and checked Seth's room. Sleeping quietly there we was sprawled across his bed. I quietly slipped out and walked into the kitchen. Charlie and my mom were sitting there and talking, "Good morning Leah." My mom smiled. I smirked, "I think I should be saying GOOD morning to you two." I grabbed a bowl pouring some cereal, and then grabbed the milk. Charlie turned a shade of red I've never seen before. "That's my cue to leave." I took my bowl of cereal back to my room and ate at my desk.

"Well Sue. I should get home. I need to do a few things and take a shower. I will call you in a little bit." Charlie stood up and kissed my mom. My mom smiled, "Ok. I will walk you out." They quietly headed outside. Charlie pulled my mom close and kissed her gently. He held her face ever so gently in his hands. She wrapper her arms around his waist, "I love you." He smiled, "I love you too." I heard it all happen. I couldn't help but see it. I felt my heart slide out of my chest and into my throat. The tears slid down my cheeks. I just wanted to feel what they were having. Love.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24 ~ Two Alphas. Two packs. One major decision****__**

August 14th, 2006  
Oh my god. Please shoot me. Let me fall off the cliff and hit the rocks below. No I'm not suicidal but, Jacob is driving me there. He keeps going on and on. Dude get over it. She married the parasite, move on. I'm cruel sounding but whatever. He'll never have a chance.

Well the week has passed. Everything was so quiet. Well quiet for me. I locked myself away. Anything I could read I would. I just needed a distraction. I was harboring such anger, so was Seth. I couldn't stand the all the, "Love" in the air. Seth still held a grudge, and that was out of character for him. This was actually impressive. Sounds sick yes I know. I was glad to actually see something igniting a fire under Seth's anger for once. He was too easy going. Well he was finally starting to crack. I was quite smug about it.

Finally he spoke. A week after the wedding. Actually he barked, "I don't need a baby sitter. Why can't Sam, mind his own business?!" My mom spoke up, "Because he is the Alpha of the pack. The pack in which you, and your sister are part of. I'm an elder on the council. So what happens within this pack affects us all. So please understand where we are coming from. I'm not ok with you befriending vampires." Seth clenched his fists. I walked out of the kitchen to see this. "Seth calm down." I spoke calmly. "Leah, SHUT UP! You just need to go away like the others. All of you need to just butt out." Seth whipped around, and almost ripped the front door from it's hinges. I followed him outside.

We were crossing the front yard towards the woods. "Seth don't run away. It won't solve anything. Trust me. Just talk to me please." He stopped so abruptly I almost walked into him. I caught myself in the nick of time. "Oh so I'm just supposed to stand there and smile. Play nice. Be the good little brother. Keep my mouth shut. Take orders from everyone. Including you and mom. I don't think so." Then out of no where he snapped. He was imitating a toddler voice, "Oh I'm a baby. Goo goo gaga. Care to change me while your at it. Wanna hold my hand. Going to put me in a timeout." His face was turning red. He was not going to phase. He had great control. I gently put a hand on his shoulder, "Calm down." He pushed it off, "Don't touch me. You don't care. None of you do." I snarled, "You take that back Seth. I do to care." He looked at me and shook his head, "No. You don't care about anyone except yourself. If Leah's miserable, everyone has to be." I growled. "Keeping growling princess." He turned around to walk away smirking.

I lost my temper. I lunged at him, knocking him to the ground. "Get off of me you crazy woman." He tried to push me off, "Apologize. I'm not crazy you brat." Seth rolled us over and he was now holding me down. "You need to chill out Leah." I tried to head butt him. Wolf reflexes he was quick and dodged it. I struggled trying to push him off. "Ha, your not going anywhere. Not until you calm down. I'm not letting you kick my butt. You're nuts." I kept trying. For being so scrawny he had the strength. I was exhausted physically and emotionally. Then we had company.  
"Damn! Seth is holding Leah down." Paul choked out a laugh.  
Sam shook his head, "Why does she do this?"  
My mom stood there and watched from the front door. Then to make matters worse, Charlie pulled up. "Kids stop fighting." Charlie called out climbing out of the cruiser hurrying over. Paul came over, pulling Seth off, "Seth let her go." Paul said pulling him back. Seth yelled, "Don't touch me." Seth was just about to pin me again, when Paul caught his arm. "Let her ge..." then the thud of Seth's fist meeting Paul's jaw. Seth pulled away and I was on my feet just about to shove Seth. Warm hands grabbed my arms, "Calm down now Leah. You're going to hurt someone." Sam's deep voice was behind me. "Let me go Sam." I snarled. He remained calm, "I will let go when you calm down, and promise not to hurt Seth." I yanked free from him. I turned around and shoved him. "Who are you? Who are you to touch me. Who are you to speak to me. You mean nothing to me. Back stabbing, " I whispered the last part, "ALPHA." Charlie came behind me and pulled me back. "Calm down hun ok. Let's go inside." My mom stepped out of the way.

Once I was inside I went to the bathroom and shut the door. I turned on the water and stood in front of the sink. I washed my face. There was a light knock. "Sis can I come in?" I turned the knob and let the door open. Seth slipped in and shut the door behind him. He sat on the edge of the tub. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have held you down. You were so angry. I shouldn't have said what I did. You had a point. So we're even now. No fighting." I nodded. I grabbed the towel and wiped off my face. Then shut off the water. "Don't worry about it ok." The rest of the day went on. Then weeks.

_August 21, 2006  
Oh please just shoot me now. Why Jacob has to picture, I shuttered hearing the thought run through his head. He pictured himself with her. Ok, let's stop that thought right there. I think I may vomit. The guy has us all seeing it. Luckily the others can get away from it, the one's who've imprinted. So much mushy, blah going on. YUCK._

_August 31, 2006_

_Ten days. Guess what?! Nothings changed. I can't escape in either wolf form or human. Why did I do to deserve this damn punishment. Emily and Sam all happy. God I'd rather poke my own eyes out. My heart, well that's at the point of being ripped out, and throw in the ocean. It does me no good. You can only block out so much. Being a wolf is a curse. One I would never wish on anyone. _

_September 7, 2006_

_So what's happened. Bella and her leech were married. They are now happy. They rode off into the sunset. Jacob waved them off smiling. We're all so happy for them. HA. That was an utter joke. These past few weeks have made me consider suicide. Well not literally. I sort of feel bad for Jacob. I know scary to think about, but I know what it's like. To be left for someone else. To see him like this bothers me. Do the others see his pain like I do. Are they too wrapped up in their, "Imprint" lives? When you're all alone, you see a lot more. You don't have someone else to consume your time. I'm desperate just to feel wanted. _

Tears started to fall on the pages. I quietly shut my journal and hurried home. I didn't need to risk being seen crying. I went straight for my room once I was home. I quickly put my journal back in my desk drawer and shut it. That's when I heard the howl rip through the air. It was too far for any human to hear. I could tell it was Sam, and something was wrong. I took off out the front door without any hesitation and ran for the woods. Once I was out of sight of the human race, I quickly stripped tying my clothes to my leg. I took off running. I heard a few of them in my head. Then out of nowhere Jacob cut through like a knife.

_So self - absorbed all the time._ I thought in response to Jacob.

_Yeah, no hypocrisy there, Leah_. Jacob thought back.

_Can it guys. _Sam's flat tone broke through.

A low snarl rolled off my chest. I hated being grouped together with the guys. Then I wondered if Sam did this on purpose. Just trying to get a rise out of me. I pushed even faster. Sam growled. I kicked into overdrive.  
_Claim this moron. _I hissed in my thoughts.  
Jacob was running a lot faster now. Trying so desperately to catch up with me.  
_Jake, Leah, give it a rest. _Sam thought.

We both ignored him keeping our speed up. Sam growled. Jacob and I nearly entered the clearing at the same time.

_Beatcha again, _I sat back on my haunches beside Seth.

Jacob went beside Sam. It took me a few minutes to process what Sam, had Seth tell us. Then out of nowhere, everyone seemed to be listening to Sam and Jacob trying, to figure out what to do. In my eyes the treaty wasn't technically broken. She wasn't changed. She was just, "sick". I was listening but it wasn't setting in until, I saw Jacob about to lunge at Seth.  
_Jacob! _Sam cautioned.

The thought stopped any idea of a fight. I was somewhat relieved. Sam no longer saw the leeches as a threat. It hit me like a knife.  
_And we know that they will not be here much longer. Surely once they've told their story, they will disappear. Our lives can return to normal. _Sam thought.

I let it replay in my thoughts, _"Our lives can _return_ to _normal_." _This word, "normal" echoed through my head. What the hell in my life was normal?! I was a female wolf. The only one in a brotherhood. My boyfriend left me because of a supposed, "Imprinting." He wouldn't have phased if the leeches never showed up. My father would be alive. My brother wouldn't be cursed into, imprinting on a girl. He would have a choice to find a girl. It wouldn't be decided for him. Sam's eyes met mine. I forgot I wasn't alone.

Seth gently nudged me with his head. _Leah, I don't feel cursed. I like knowing I'm protecting people. Leah it's my duty. I wouldn't give it up for anything._

I let out a soft whine. Sam was refocusing his thoughts. He was listening to Jacob. I let my thoughts go quiet, and zoned out. Jacob's thoughts brought everything back around. It was like a screeching halt came to all of our thoughts.

_I'm going to tell my father goodbye._

That was all I could hear.

We continued through the woods waiting for Jacob to come back. Not much was said. There was a lot of pacing. Some low rumbles. Before we knew it, he was back. Everyone including myself thought his name at once in relief, _Jacob! _Paul had already taken off to reassure Billy and Rachel, he made it back alive. He was in human form within seconds of Jacob's return. Then the calm changed into a fog of tension. Uncertainty. We all saw it. Bella all distorted. Swollen. Pale. Then the leeches words, _Bella's life means nothing to her. _

We were all, in utter shock. We started running. We all met up with Jacob in a clearing. My thoughts were dead silent. Everyone was too quiet. Then all at once our thoughts were flying. One shouting over the other. I found myself snarling. Now the treaty was going to be void. This thing was going to put us all in jeopardy. Sam used one of Jacob's memories for all of us to see. The blonde female vampire, acting like a bodyguard. She was crouching by Bella. She was crazy looking. The thought caught me.

Jacob's thoughts, _It's just a _baby, _for crying out loud_.

I thought back quickly, _Not for long_.  
Jacob started to argue it._ This is crazy. This after noon you were afraid to put the pack in danger._

Sam quickly replied,_ This afternoon I didn't know our families were at risk._

Jacob was now on the other side. He placed Bella and the Cullens on some pedestal.

_I can't believe this! How are you going to kill this creature without killing Bella?_ Everyone fell silent. Jacob's howl broke that. _She's human, too! Doesn't our protection apply to her?_

I just thought it. _She's dying anyway. We'll just shorten the process._

I heard Jacob leap in my direction, then the howl of pain escaped him. I could tell Sam had caught him.

_Stop!_ Sam looked right at me. _You will not be cruel to him, Leah. _I was so angry. I was honest, and now getting reprimanded for it. Sam went on with his plan for us to attack tonight. So I was going to concentrate on killing Carlisle, Alice, and maybe, Esme. My nerves were all over the place. I stayed quiet. I didn't do anything except listen, and breath. I didn't need to piss off Sam anymore.

It seemed like forever before Sam started moving us into formation. I had to take point. The younger ones behind me. I felt bad putting Seth through this. I wanted to hug him. He should have to se this. What kind of sister was I. I hated these leeches yet I felt bad. I was on a teeter totter with my feelings and emotions. How the hell was I supposed to keep focused. I wondered, was Sam trying to prove something. Show something to us all, to Jacob? Then it happened. Out of no where Jacob was on his feet. I watched carefully listening to his thoughts. They shocked us all.

_I won't fallow you Sam. Not for something so wrong. _

Sam and Jacob started going back and fourth. I tried to ignore the banter.

Then Sam said it. _This isn't about them. This is about Bella. She has never been the one for you, she has never chosen you, but you continue to destroy your life for her!_

The others stood watching. Waiting, to see what was going to unfold next. Then it happened. Jacob left the pack. He took off running. I stood not moving. I wanted to follow so badly but I couldn't. I was stuck with Sam and his pack. His "brotherhood". I was also happy to see Sam knocked off his game. There was part of me that wanted to cheer for Jacob. He made it out. Then things changed. I looked around and noticed Seth was gone as well. Then we all seemed to notice at the same time, we could no longer hear Jacob, or Seth's thoughts. They had left the pack. Embry whined a little and Sam growled all too loud. Sam started howling. Furious you could tell. The growls erupted from the pack. Sam locked eyes on me. It was like he blamed me for Seth leaving as well. The guy I once loved, now hated me. Wanted nothing to do with me. The thoughts were so harsh.

_You should have stopped him Leah. He is your brother. _

I let the snarl in my thoughts warn him. I was about to think it before I was cut off.

_Don't Leah. It's not worth it._ Paul thought quickly.

All I had was Emily as my weapon. I wasn't going to sit there and take this. My thoughts were cruel. I wanted him to know how hurt I was. I don't protect everyone.

_I'm not responsible for my brother taking off with Jacob. You're the so called, "Alpha". Maybe you should learn how to respect your, pack. Treat them better. Don't be such a god damn bully you jerk._

I just thought about Emily's raw looking face. Just a few weeks after she'd been attacked. The agonizing pain that showed on her face, when she saw her reflection._ Damn! Leah._ Jared thought.

Sam stopped bothering me for the time being. I got my point across.

Sam continued trying to listen for Jacob and Seth. With no luck. Sam knew they were gone. It was like they were never part of our pack. Jared and Paul looked at Sam and shook their heads, _Nothing. Sorry. _

Sam looked at us. _There will be a meeting with, the elders. In the morning we'll all meet up at Billy's house. We need to put together a plan._

We nodded in agreement and then split up to do our patrols. Jared, and Paul took off in one direction. Quil, and Embry set off in the opposite direction.

I looked at Sam. _I need to let my mom know what's going on. She'll be worried. Can I go home quickly?" _

_Sam thought back, "Yes. Go ahead." _I took off running for my house.

Once I was close enough to home, I phased back. There was so much going on. I got dressed and sat against the base of a tree. I realized we had to separate packs now. My brother and Jacob were going to fight, to keep the leeches safe. I was inevitably stuck with Sam. I was alone. I would be forced to see how happy he was. How perfect his life with Emily was. Then I realized, I was going to have to fight against my brother. I couldn't keep him safe anymore. What if he got hurt. I could never forgive myself. I had to keep him safe. It was my job as an older sister. If Seth became a meal for the leeches, I'd kill them myself. I knew what I had to do now. I had to leave Sam's pack. If I left his pack, no more hearing his thoughts. No more wishing me gone. He could no longer tell me what to do. He would no longer be connected to, the pathetic ex-girlfriend. No longer would he see the girl who's heart he broke. My mind was made up. I would be a traitor. I could deal with vampire stench, to keep Seth safe. After I was sure this was what I wanted, I went home.

I slipped in the dark house quietly. I slipped down the hallway to my mom's room. She was sound asleep. I went to my room and rummaged through my desk drawer, finding a notebook. I ripped out a sheet and started writing.

Mom,

I'm sorry. Don't be angry. Crap you will be. Ok so there's something going on. Like really big. So Bella's like pregnant. Like super pregnant. Sam wanted to attack the Cullens. Jacob was against it. So was Seth. Jacob and Seth have left Sam's pack. We can no longer hear their thoughts. So now they've gone to protect the Cullens. So I took some time to really think about this. I've left Sam's pack. I don't want a connection to him anymore. I'm going to go with Jacob and Seth. I will keep Seth safe. I promise. He will come home to you alice. I've gotta run. Mom I love you.

Leah

I grabbed the note and stood in the doorway for a moment. I looked around the small room, one last time. I wasn't sure if I'd ever come back to it. I quietly crept into my mom's room and left the note, on her beside table. I carefully kissed her cheek and slipped out of the room. I took a moment to take in the look of my home, one last time before I joined my brother, and Jacob.

Once I was safely within the woods coverage, I quickly stripped out of my clothes. I phased. I quietly picked up the clothes in my mouth and ran carrying them. I stayed focused on getting to the Cullen territory and nothing else. As I ran I realized, I could no long hear Sam's thoughts, nor any of the others. I was finally free of Sam's pack. I continued running. I was wondering where the two of them were camped out. Then I caught Seth's scent.

_Morning Boys_. I thought.

Seth whined rather surprised, yet disappointed. Seth was loud in my head.

_Oh, man! Go_ away _Leah!_ He groaned.

I carefully weaved through the underbrush into sight.

_Stop whining, Seth. You're such a baby. _I watched as Jacob's ears flattened against his skull. I stepped back automatically.

Jacob kept his eyes locked on me. _What do you think you're doing Leah?_

I huffed a heavy sigh. _It's pretty obvious, isn't it. I'm joining your crappy little renegade pack. The vampires' guard dogs. _I barked out a low sarcastic laugh.

Jacob' didn't hesitate. _No, you're not. Turn around before I rip out one of your hamstrings._

I rolled my eyes._ Like you could catch me._ I grinned and readied myself for launch. _Wanna race, O fearless leader? _

He looked at Seth, and told him to let the Cullen's know it was only me.

I whined as he took off. _You're just going to let him run off to the vampires alone?  
_Jacob looked at me._ I'm pretty sure he'd rather they took him out then spend another minute with you. _He was already getting under my skin.

_Shut up, Jacob. Oops, I'm sorry-I meant, shut up, most high Alpha._

He was getting annoyed as well and questioning me._ Why the hell are you here? _

I had a simple answer. _You think I'm going to sit at home while my little brother volunteers as a vampire chew toy? _

Here it started. _Seth doesn't want or need your protection. In fact, no one wants you here._

I thought back sarcastically._ Oooh, ouch, that's gonna leave a huge mark. Ha, _I barked_. Tell me who does want me around, and I'm outta here. _

Then I'd given it away to Jacob. _So this is isn't about Seth at all, is it?_

I had to cover quickly._ Of course it is I'm just pointing out that being unwanted is not a first for me. Not really motivating factor, if you know what I mean. _

Jacob was somewhat suspicious of me. _Did Sam send you?_

I sighed._ If I was here on Sam's errand, you wouldn't be able to hear me. My allegiance is no longer with him. _

He was searching for anything. _You're loyal to me now? _He asked sarcasm was heavy_. Uh - huh. Right. _

I looked at him_. My choices are limited. I'm working with the options I've got. Trust me. I'm not enjoying this any more than you are. _I had to admit I was excited to be free of Sam. Even if it was only in one aspect. It was a start. I rather not be linked to Jacob, but not much I could do. Jacob sat there trying to pull out my thoughts. I didn't need intruders. Seth came back sharing his explanation he'd given the leeches.

_Wow, he looks bad. _Seth muttered to himself. I relaxed once he'd returned.

_What's going on? _I asked. _Catch me up to speed._

Jacob looked at me. _There's no point. You're not staying._

I huffed. _Actually, Mr. Alpha I am. Because since apparently I have to belong to someone - and don't think I haven't tried breaking off on my own, you know yourself how well that doesn't work - I choose you. _

Jacob wanted me gone._ Leah, you don't like me. I don't like you. _He was already becoming obnoxious.

_Thank you, Caption Obvious. That doesn't matter to me. I'm staying with Seth. _

_J_acob was grasping for any excuse_. You don't like vampires. Don't you think that's a little conflict of interest right there? _

I quickly replied. _You don't like them vampires either. _

Jacob stared off toward the direction of the house._ But I _am_ committed to this alliance. You aren't. _That was true. Jacob knew that about me.

_I'll keep my distance from them I can run patrols out here, just like Seth._

Jacob looked at me. _And I'm supposed to trust you with that. _

I stretched my neck going up on my toes. I was looking into Jacobs eyes. _I will not betray my pack._

He looked at me. _This isn't your pack. This isn't even a pack. This is just me, going off on my own. What is it with you Clearwaters? Why can't you leave me alone?  
_Seth felt hurt. He always looked up to Jacob._ I've been helpful, haven't I, Jake?_

Jacob looked at Seth. _You haven't made too much of a nuisance of yourself, kid, but if you and Leah are a package deal - if the only way to get rid of her is for you to go home. . . Well can you blame me for wanting you gone? _

Seth looked at me. _Ugh, Leah you ruin everything.  
Yeah, I know. _I was desperate. Now nobody truly wanted me around. Normally, that wouldn't have hurt. Well at least I tried to act like it didn't. This time though, it really did. I think because it came from my own family.

Seth started to feel guilty._ Jake. . . You're not really gonna send me away, are you? Leah's not so bad. Really, I mean with her here, we can push the perimeter out farther. And this put's Sam down to seven. There's no way he going to mount an attack that outnumbered. It's probably a good thing . . ._ Jacob just groaned.  
_You know I don't want to lead a pack, Seth.  
_I quickly thought back. So don't lead us, I offered.

Jacob snorted. Sound's perfect to me. Run along home now.

Seth thought. _Jake, I belong here. I _do_ like vampires. Cullens, anyway. They're people to me, and Im' going to protect them, 'cause that's what were supposed to do. _

Jacob nodded. _Maybe you belong, kid, but your sister doesn't. She's going to go where you are -_

I wanted to hide these thoughts. I was not thrilled to be this close to the leeches. I didn't trust them. I didn't like them. I didn't support them, or their lifestyle. I knew I wasn't wanted here. I wasn't wanted in La Push either. Sam had made that clear. He just wanted me to disappear. It would make his life easier. I wanted to stay here. Being here I was free of Sam. I wasn't going to leave.

Jacob had seen what I was trying to hide. _Thought this was about Seth,_

I flinched._ Of course I'm here for Seth.  
And to get away from Sam._ Jacob thought.

My jaw clenched. I was becoming furious. _I don't have to explain myself to you. I just have to do what I'm told. I belong to your pack, Jacob. The end._

Jacob moved away growling. His idea's of me. His thoughts about me. Him thinking he knew everything. All he knew is what Sam thought. What I let them hear. Then the idea of being a lapdog for the the Cullen's drew the line.

_I don't know if I'd go that far. _I thought. I was trying so hard I breaking badly.  
_I'm sure I'd give killing myself a few good tries first. _I smirked slightly. _  
Look Leah._ Jacob quickly cut me off.

_No, you look, Jacob. Stop arguing with me, because it's not going to do any good. I'll stay out of your way, okay? I'll do anything you want. Except go back to Sam's pack and be the pathetic ex-girlfriend he can't get away from. If you want me to leave-, _I sat back on my haunches and stared into Jacob's eyes. _You're going to have to make me.  
_Jacob snarled. He was truly getting all bend out of shape. It took all I had to stay there. I didn't want to be there, but I had no where else.

He quickly thought to Seth._ Seth, are you gonna get mad at me if I kill your sister? _

Seth pretended to think about it. _Well . . . yeah, probably._  
I clenched my jaw.

The two of them looked at me. Jacob finally thought._ Okay, then, Ms. Do-Anything-I-Want. Why don't make yourself useful by telling us what you know? What happened after we left last night? _

_I looked at them. Lots of howling. But you probably heard that part. It was so loud that it took us a while to figure out that we couldn't hear either of you any more. Sam was . . .  
_I remembered, Sam was snarling. Teeth bared at all of us. Then he stopped and looked into my eyes._ Why couldn't you stop Seth? He is your brother. _His thoughts were so harsh. _After that, it was clear and pretty quick that we were going to have to rethink things. Sam was planning to talk to the other Elders first thing this morning. We weren't supposed to meet up and figure out a game plan. I could tell he wasn't going to mount another attack right away, though. Suicide at this point, with you and Seth AWOL and the bloodsuckers forewarned. I'm not sure what they'll do, but I wouldn't be wandering the forest alone if I was a leech. It's open season on vamps now. _

Jacob asked,_ You decided to skip on the meeting this morning/  
When we split up for patrols last night, I asked permission to go home, to tell my mother what had happened-_

Seth quickly was all bent out of shape and growled. _Crap! You told Mom?  
Seth, hold off on the sibling stuff for a sec. Go on, Leah.  
_I nodded, _So once I was human, I took a minute to think things through. Well, actually, I took all night. I bet the others think I fell asleep. But the whole two-separate-packs, two-separate-pack-minds thing gave me a lot to sift through. In the end, I weighed Seth's safety and the, er, other benefits against the idea of turning traitor and sniffing vampire stink for who knows how long. You know what I decided. I left a note for my mom. I expect we'll hear it when Sam finds out . . .  
_I cocked my ear to the west. _  
Yeah, I expect we will, _Jacob agreed.

_So that's everything. What do we do now._ I asked.

_I guess we just keep an eye out for now. That's all we can do._ Jacob thought.

_You should probably take a nap, Leah. _Jacob thought.  
_You've had as much sleep as I have._ I thought back.  
_Thought you were going to do what you were told. _He looked at me.

_Right. That's going to get old, _I grumbled and yawned. _Well, whatever. I don't care. _

I was ready to crash. I was exhausted. Then Seth offered to run the border. Jacob agreed because he was going to the Cullens. I looked after Seth.

_Maybe a round or two before I crash . . . Hey Seth, wanna see how many times I can lap you?  
NO! J_acob was trying to be stern. I barked out a low chuckle and was into the woods after Seth.  
I so desperately wanted to prove myself. Not only to Jacob but to Sam. Show him that I didn't need him. I could take orders from Jacob. I could respect Jacob. I was the fastest out of both the packs. Jacob was letting his thoughts sprawl out. He thought of the, "Two's a company" saying. Then he tried to think of who he might trade me for.  
_Paul?_ I suggested.  
_Maybe._ He thought back. I laughed. I was so jittery and hyper to be offended. I was on a high, and it felt so good.  
_That will be my goal, then-to be less annoying than Paul._ I thought.  
_Yeah, work on that._ Jacob said before phasing to human.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25 ~ Don't. Just don't. You're only making it worse.**

Jacob had taken off to check on Bella. Seth and I were on a perimeter check. Seth's thoughts were quiet. My mind was still a bit jumpy. I couldn't believe I'd broken free. I know longer had to see Sam's happiness. I just continued looking for any sign of intruders. Either Sam or his pack members.

Then Seth thought,_ I'm sort of glad you're here you really do deserve a break from Sam. But, you're my sister and well I do worry about you, like you do about me.  
_It was nice to hear Seth say that.  
_Thanks._ Was all I was able to get out.

We continued on our separate circuits. Then the sudden thought from Seth snapped me out of focus.

_We've got company. _He thought.  
The both of us howled loudly at the same time, trying to alert Jacob. Within seconds he was in our thoughts again.

_What is it? _He shouted

_Incoming._ Seth answered._ At least three. _

_Did they split up?_ Jacob thought.

I had turned and changed direction. I was desperate to get back to Seth.  
_I'm running the line back to Seth at the speed of light, _I promised pushing myself fast as possible. Everything blurred past me. I kept alert. Nobody was around me.  
_So far no tother point of attack._ I told them.

_Seth, do not challenge them. Wait for me. _Jacob quickly told him.

Then Seth's tone changed. _They're slowing. Ugh-it's so off not being able to hear them.  
I think . . .  
What?_ Jacob was on edge now.

_I think they've stopped._ Seth thought still listening carefully.

_Waiting for the rest of the pack?_ I wondered.

_Shh. Feel that? _Jacob asked.

He had picked up on something.

_Someone's phasing? _Jacob kept listening. _  
Feels like it._ Seth agreed.

I was there. I broke into the small opening, where Seth waited. I raked my claws into the dirt, spinning out like a race car.  
_I got your back, bro. _I thought trying to reassure Seth. I felt better knowing he wasn't alone. We heard them coming. They remained quiet, and so did we.  
_They're coming._ Seth thought nervously. _Slow. Walking._  
I stood there looking around. Waiting. I didn't even want to imagine what might happen.  
_Almost there._ Jacob told us.

The next few minutes, Jacob's thoughts became all fatherly. He was truly concerned for our safety. More so for Seth's, because he was so young. It caught me off guard.

_Look who's getting all paternal. _I thought wryly.  
_Head in the game, Leah. _Jacob thought.  
Seth broke through. _Four. Three wolves, one man._

Finally Jacob arrived and took over the front. I was becoming nervous. Seth moved to Jacob's right side. I moved to Jacob's left side. I couldn't believe it.  
_So now I rank under Seth,_ I grumbled to myself.  
Then Seth had a quick comeback as usual.

_First come, first served._ He thought smugly. _'Sides, you were never an Alpha's Third before. Still an upgrade.  
Under my baby brother is not an upgrade.  
_Jacob was trying to hear._  
Shh! He complained. I don't care where you stand. Shut up and get ready._

We all waited quietly. It was too quiet. Then they were in our line of sight. Jared was leading in human form. He held his hand ups so we wouldn't attack. Paul, Quil, and Collin followed behind him in wolf form. They just listened quietly. I was rather shocked. Sam never showed up. This really put us on edge.

_A diversion?_ I thought.  
Jacob stood quietly thinking about my question.  
_Want me to check? I can run the line and be back in two minutes. I offered. _

I was just waiting on Jacob's order.

Then Seth asked. _Should I warn the Cullen's? _

_What if the point was to divide us. _I asked.

_The Cullen's know somethings up. They're ready. _Jacob told him.  
We all were curious if Sam was sneaking around. He still held power. He probably had the Elders on his side. Who knew what he would do at this point.

Sam wouldn't be so stupid . . . , I whispered as fear was in my mind.

I was picturing Sam attacking the Cullen's. Only having Embry and Brady to attack. I knew Embry would fold under Sam's order. Nausea had crept up on me. I didn't like the Cullen's but the idea of Seth or Jacob getting hurt, that's what really worried me.  
_No, he wouldn't._ Jacob assured me.

The group stood there looking at us. Then Jared told us there was a truce. Jared had just come to talk. I couldn't understand, if they were here to talk, why were they in wolf form. Did they think we might attack them? How did we know anymore what anyone was thinking. We stayed on guard. It was so aggravating, the whole wolf telepathy thing. Jared was annoyed that Jacob wouldn't phase back to human. Jared wanted to hear his thoughts. As Jared continued to speak, the tension grew thicker. I stood listening. Then Seth's thought caught me. He growled.  
_Overreaction? And attacking our allies without warning isn't. _  
Jacob quickly tried to calm Seth down. I listened to what Jared had to sat. I thought.  
Translation: They've already lost the element of surprise.  
Jared continued to talk. I stood listening. Jacob let out a low snarl. Jared was quickly trying to get Jacob to ease up. I listened to Jared as well.  
_Ha, _I thought._ What a load. _

_You don't buy it? _Jacob thought.

Here it came out and I was being truthful.

_I know what they're thinking, Jake. What Sam's thinking. They're betting on Bella dying anyway. And then they figure you'll be so mad . . . _

Jacob's tone spoke before I heard the words and could hear what he said. The heaviness was there.

_That I'll lead the attack myself.  
_Jacob let it process. I couldn't say anything. The idea really was sinking in on him and Seth. Then Seth broke through with a whisper.  
_I'll remind you. _  
He was too innocent for all of this. I had to understand, Seth saw the Cullen's as friends. Well at least Bella and Edward. He didn't see danger with the others. I couldn't. I saw them as mortal enemies. It didn't matter what I saw them as. I was part of Jacob's pack.

_I know you will, kid. Question is whether I'll listen to you_.

Jared had waited until he broke up our inner conversation.

"Jake?" He kept his eyes on Jacob.

Jacob huffed at Jared and gave me orders.

_Leah, make a circuit - just to be sure. I'm going to have to talk to him, and I want to be _positive_ there isn't anything else going on while I'm phased. _

_Give me a break, Jacob. I've seen you naked before - doesn't do much for me, so no worries. _

Jacob snapped at me. He was really on edge now.

_I'm not trying to protect the innocence of your eyes, I'm trying to protect our backs. Get out of here. _

I took off running. I couldn't seem to run the perimeter fast enough. I pushed myself checking the circuit. I wasn't seeing any sign of the others. I heard what Jared was saying to Seth. Hearing the words, broken hearted. How could our mom do this to the crushing blow, "Abandon her this way, when your dad barely died." How could she. How could Jared. I was furious. I fought to keep my anger in control as I made my way back to the others. I came up beside Seth.

"Leah?" I looked at Jared. My muzzle pulled back over my teeth a little. Then Jared spoke, "Leah you know you don't want to be here." I snarled at him. Who the hell was he to speak to me. I was fuming, still. Seth nudged me gently. Then Jared stupidly opened his mouth again. "Sorry. Guess I shouldn't assume. But you don't have and ties to the bloodsuckers." I looked at Seth. Then precisely turned my gaze on Jacob.  
"So you want to watch out for, Seth, I get that," Jared said. Did he really get it. He did run with Sam. He cut in again. "But Jakes not going to let anything happen to him, and he's not afraid to be here." Jared's face changed.  
"Anyway, please, Leah. We want you back. Sam wants you back." My tail twitched out of aggravation. "Sam told me to beg. He wants you home, Lee-lee, where you belong."  
When I heard my old nickname I flinched. My hackles rose and the snarls started. I was furious.  
_Who the hell do you think you are. None of you have any right to call me, that name. Sam doesn't have the right anymore. What bull crap. He wishes he could get rid of me. He would make me disappear if he could. Son of a bitch. I hate you, and Sam. You're siding with Sam. Trying to make me miserable._

My thought continued to race on along with some pretty vulgar words. I kept snarling. Finally I calmed down enough to let Jacob talk. After he finished speaking, I growled again glaring at Jared, showing my agreeing with Jacob.

Then it hit me. They'd be gone soon. The Cullen's that is. Seth, and I would have to return to La Push. We'd be stuck back with Sam's pack. Seth and I whined, and turned our noses at the same time towards Jacob. Jared got his answer. Seth and I were staying put. Then after everything happened, well? Who knew at that point. I stayed quiet until the others left, except Quil. He pressed his nose against Jacob's forehead. I snorted. I waited until they were done talking and Quil left.

_I thought you were going to make out with him. _I snickered.  
Jacob was back in wolf form. He was concerned about what we thought. Had he told Jared the right things. That was a difference between Sam and Jacob and being Alpha's. Jacob seemed to care what about us. Even though he hated to show it. Sam was only concerned about us following his orders. Jacob wanted to keep us happy. My only thought was,

_You could have hit Jared. I wouldn't have minded that. _Jacob smiled.

Then Seth changed the whole conversation.  
_I guess we know why Embry wasn't allowed to come. _  
Jacob was confused. _Not allowed?_  
_Jake, didya see Quil? He's pretty torn up, right? I'd put ten to one that Embry's even more upset. And Embry doesn't have a Claire. There's no way Quil can just pick up and walk away from La Push. Embry might. So Sam's not going to take any chances on him getting convinced to jump ship. He doesn't want our pack any bigger than it is now. _

Then Seth and I saw what Jacob had seen. Jacob was thinking about her again. She was drinking blood. Warm blood from a cup. The nausea hit quickly. I shook my head back and forth.  
_That is easily the freakin' grossest thing I've heard in my life. Yuck. If there was anything in my stomach it would be coming back. _

The nausea still around around. I was glad hunger wasn't on my agenda. Then Seth was at it again. It was like the image hadn't phased him

_They_ are _vampire's, I guess. _He waited for our reaction. Then continued.

_I mean, it makes sense. And if it helps Bella, it's a good thing right. _  
Jacob and I stared at Seth.  
_What?_ Seth thought.

I couldn't resist.

_Mom dropped him a lot when he was a baby.  
Oh his head apparently._ Jacob thought.

I quickly added.  
_He used to gnaw on the crib bars, too.  
Lead paint? _Jacob was fighting back a laugh.

_Looks like it. Was my final thought.  
_Then Seth snorted.

_Funny. Why don't you two shut up and sleep?_

__Jacob had taken off to the house. He wanted to let them know everything was fine. Seth and I started doing a perimeter run. Seth thought about Bella as we were running. He wondered how much she'd changed. We only knew she was swollen, pale, and dying. This thing was sucking the life from her. Seth was desperately, trying to remember Bella on her wedding day. He was trying to hold it together. I felt bad. God why was this girl so hell bent on ruin people's lives. And for what!

I was starting to get tired. My thoughts were slowing down. I wasn't running as fast. _  
Leah, get some sleep, ok? I'll run until midnight. Then you can take over. _

I thought back a sleepy,_ ok.  
_I made my way back to the river near the house. I found a comfortable spot on the river's edge and laid down in wolf form. I didn't feel comfortable phasing back to human. If Seth needed me I wanted to be ready. I laid my head on my paws and watched the river rush by. In a few minutes my eye closed and I was out.

I woke up finally stretching.  
_Welcome back sleeping beauty. Feel better?_ Seth asked.  
I stood up and made my way to the path, we had created around the Cullen territory. Seth had just stopped in front of me.  
_Where's Jacob? Thought he'd be back by now. _I started running the perimeter nervously. I was trying not to think the worst. In the end, I didn't trust Sam. I whimpered a bit running.  
_Leah relax. He phased to human don't forget. Remember he went to the Cullen's to check in. He was exhausted. So he probably crashed human. I'm gonna phase and check in at the Cullen's, see if Jake's there. If I don't phase back he's fine. Be careful out here. Love ya sis. _Then Seth was gone from my thoughts.

I ran the perimeter for several hours. I was about to pass the house again, Seth was standing there. "Hey. Esme made breakfast. Here you go." He held the plate offering it to me. I looked at him and shook my head. I went behind some tree's and phased back.  
"I'd rather eat road kill. Go ahead and it if you want. I'm fine." I phased back and walked back out in my wolf form. I started my run of the perimeter once again. The blurs of various greens, browns, were all that surrounded me. There was an occasional rabbit hopping along. Birds flying over. Early morning was starting to roll around. I came around in front of the Cullen's house again.

Jacob was waiting for me. He set down a basket with clothes and food for me. "Esme tried to be helpful." I took the basket and dragging it down to the rivers edge. With one steady kick, I sent everything into the river. I watched as if floated downstream. I returned to Jacob. He discretely disposed of the food he had. Once he was done he disappeared behind the trees. A few minutes later I was no longer alone in my head.

_Try and be nice_

I looked at him

_That was nice. Trust me. _

I stared running again. We ran along quietly. There was nothing to say. When I really just saw blurs of green, and browns once again. Memories started to flow. I tried quickly to stop them but I couldn't. My dad dropping to the ground. It replayed with the thud, thud, thud, thud, of my paws. I snarled trying to break free from the painful memories. Jacob didn't intrude this time. Then the pain I started feeling in my chest the heartache was becoming to much with my hunger.  
_Just give in and eat something. You sent all that food down river. You could have ate. Instead of being hungry and bitchy.  
_I growled but kept running.

_Well at least the, Otters and, fish have a nice meal. I was not going to eat that food. You, and my brother have fun kissing . . . _I stopped myself.

I took off running again when I spotted a small Elk. I took off chasing the animal. I attacked the animal killing it quickly. The snack of it's neck made me feel remorseful. I didn't like the idea of killing living things. I quietly with great disgust ate the raw meat. It took all I had not to throw up the meal. I worked my way back to the river and quietly drank from it. I realized how much I missed the beach right now. How much I missed the waves crashing over my bare feet.  
_Feel better?_ Jacob thought to me.

My mood was quite evident. I was so grumpy. I made my way back to the house. I found myself at my usual spot by the river, and laid down. A few minutes later I was out.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26 ~ Maybe, just maybe. For once, I'm right.**

I woke up and it was still quiet. My sleep was peaceful. Well as peaceful as it would be with leeches so close. I came around and stretched and had hung out relaxing a little bit. Then Seth was there.  
_Ready to take over? _Seth asked.  
_Yeah. Go get some sleep._ I took off running. I was on the western perimeter when Jacob rejoined the pack mind.  
_Morning, Jacob,_ I greeted him.

He quickly replied, _Good you're up. How long's Seth been out? _

I didn't have to answer because Seth did. Then Jacob's thoughts turned to me.  
_Let's make a deep run._ Then Jacob gave orders for Seth to do a, perimeter run. He agreed and was off.  
_Off on another vampire errand_. I grumbled.

Jacob questioned me.

_You got a problem with that?  
_My sarcastic tone already tipped him off.

_Of _course_ not. I just_ love _to coddle those darling leeches.  
_He ignored me proceeding.  
Good. Let's see how fast we can run.  
I smiled. This actually made me happy. Speed was my advantage.  
Okay. Im definitely up for that.  
I tried to avoid getting close the house. I left that path for Jacob, and Seth. I raced to meet up with Jacob.__

Nose to the ground, Leah. This isn't a race, it's a reconnaissance mission.   
I rolled my eyes continuing to run.

_I can do both and still kick your butt.  
I know._ Jacob quietly agreed, and I laughed.

We ran along together quietly. There was nothing. Jacob was just focused. I stayed on his right side, keeping pace. Then I finally broke the silence.

_We're getting pretty far out here. _I thought.

_Yeah. If Sam was hunting strays, we should have crossed his trail by now. _

He was right and I knew it.

_Make's more sense right now for him to bunker down in La Push. He know's were giving the bloodsuckers three extra sets of eyes and legs. He's not going to be able to surprise them._I thought. _  
This is just a precaution, really. _Jacob thought.  
_Wouldn't want our precious parasites taking unnecessary chances. _I thought with a sarcastic tone.

_Nope. _Jacob thought back.

_You've changed so much, Jacob. Talk about one-eighties._ I couldn't believe it. Such a softy for the vampire's now.  
_You're not exactly the same Leah I've always known and loved either. _Jacob's thoughts pure.

_True. Am I less annoying than Paul now? _I asked.

_Amazingly . . . yes,_ Jacob said.

_Ah, sweet success. _I smiled

_Congrats. _Jacob said then everything went quiet.

We ran quietly for some time. Nothing was going on. Our thoughts remained quiet. It was nice to get away from the regular perimeter run. There was no rush to our day. I was trying to fight the hunger that ached in my bones. Jacob thought we should hunt. So on our way home that was the plan.  
_Yum, yum,_ I thought sourly.

Then Jacob tried to make it easier.  
_It's all in your head. That's the way wolves eat. It's normal. It tastes fine. If you didn't think about it from a human perspective-_

I rolled my eyes.

_Forget the pep talk, Jacob. I'll hunt. I don't have to like it.  
Sure, sure._ He agreed to shut me up.

I stayed quiet for a a little bit. Then Jacob started thinking about turning back.

_Thank you,_ I said suddenly in a different tone.  
_For? _Jacob was confused.  
_For letting me be. For letting me stay. You've been nicer than I had any right to expect, Jacob. _

He was a bit caught off guard.  
_Er, no problem. Actually I mean that. I don't mind having you here like I thought I would. _

I snorted and chuckled._ What a glowing commendation!_

_Don't let it go to your head. _Jacob smirked a little. _  
Okay-if you don't let this go to yours._ I paused for a second._ I think you make a good Alpha. Not in the same way Sam does, but in your own way. You're worth following, Jacob.  
_He was left speechless.

_Er, thanks. Not totally sure I'll be able to stop that one from going to my head, though. Where did that come from. _Jacob asked me.  
I didn't answer him. I thought about what he told Jared a few mornings going. I thought about Bella's time we over soon. I didn't want to go back to La Push. Jacob promised him I'd go back.

_I want to stay with you,_ I told him. I really shocked him. He stopped dead in his tracks. I ran right past him. Then I had to stop myself and back up.  
_I won't be a pain, I swear. I won't follow you around. You can go wherever you want, and I'll go where I want. You'll only have to put up with me when we're both wolves._ I paced anxiously back and forth in front of him. My tail moved back and forth nervously. I wasn't sure what his response would be. I just couldn't go back to La Push.

_And, as I'm planning on quitting as soon as I can manage it . . . maybe that won't be so often. _

He stood there speechless as I continued to pace. My heart was starting to beat faster.

_I'm happier now, as a part of of your pack, than I have been in years.  
_Then Seth quietly thought, _I want to stay, too. I like this pack. _

We waited for Jacob then he thought back finally. _  
Hey, now! Seth, this isn't going to be a pack much longer. We've got a purpose now, but when . . . after that's over, I'm just going to go wolf. Seth you need a purpose. You're a good kid. You're the kind of person who always has a crusade. And there's no way you're leaving La Push now. You're going to graduate from high school and do something with your life. You're going to take care of Sue. My issues are not going to mess up your future. _

Seth tried to argue with him._ But-  
Jacob's right._ I seconded.

Jacob looked at me. _You're agreeing with me?  
_I nodded. _Of course. But non of that applies to me. I was on my way out, anyway. I'll get a job somewhere away from La Push. Maybe take some courses at a community college. Get into yoga and meditation to work on my temper issues. . . . And stay a part of this pack for the sake of my mental well-being. Jacob-you can see how that makes sense, right? I won't bother you, you won't bother me, everyone is happy. _  
Jacob turned back and started heading toward the west.  
_This is a bit much to deal with, Leah. Let me think about it, 'kay?  
Sure. Take your time. _What else could I say? "No Jacob I demand an answer right this second." This was a lot to ask of him. We started back to make the run back. I stayed silent on the way back. I was letting him think everything over.

While we were running back, a heard of black-tailed deer crossed our path. The sun was coming up finally. I sighed and lunged. I took down the largest one. I was starving, but disgusted at the same time. Then Jacob showed me to think wolf form. Eat in wolf form. This was the animal I was at the current moment. I did. I let myself become the wolf. I ate quietly. Once we were both full I thought. _Thanks,_ went and cleaned my muzzle and paws on the wet grass. _That wasn't so bad, thinking your way. _  
Your welcome. Jacob thought back.

We got back to the perimeter. Seth was barely awake.  
_You headed back to the bloodsuckers. _I asked Jacob.

_Maybe._ He thought.

Seth had crashed, and hard. It was just mumbles in his head then, quiet. I let down my guard a little. I could see what was happening. Seth probably couldn't, but I could. I took in a deep breath.  
_It's hard for you to be there, but hard to stay away, too. I know how that feels. _  
I waited for a response from Jacob.  
_You know, Leah, you might want to think a little bit about the future, about what you really want to do. My head is not going to be the happiest place on earth. And you'll have to suffer right along with me. _

I thought about how to answer him.

_Wow, this is going to sound bad. But, honestly, it will be easier to deal with your pain than face mine. _I had finally opened up a little.

_Fair enough._ he responded.

_ know it's going to be bad for you, Jacob. I understand that-maybe better than you think. I don't like her, but . . . she's your Sam. She's everything you want and everything you can't have. _  
He didn't know what to say. He stayed quiet for some time. It was almost like he was in shock.

_I know it's worse for you. At least Sam is happy. At least he's alive and well. I love him enough that I want that. I want him to have what's best for him. _I sighed. _I just don't want to stick around and watch. _

_Jacob sighed. Do we need to talk about this?_

_I think we do. Because I want you to know that I won't make it worse for you. Hell, maybe I'll even help. I wasn't _born_ a compassionless shrew. I used to be sort of nice, you know.  
My memory doesn't go that far back. _He thought.  
We both laughed.

_I'm sorry about this, Jacob. I'm sorry you're in pain. I'm sorry it's getting worse and not better. _I felt bad for him. Nobody should have to feel this way.

_Thanks, Leah. _

I quietly thought about the things that were worse. Him losing the only girl he ever loved. The only one he ever pictured spending his life with. He was watching her wither away. He watched as she lived out what remained of this life. He watched her being happy with this new family of hers. It was hard to admit it, but she was happy. She had what she wanted. She'd live forever. She would achieve something, if she lived. Then Jacob started to become hopeful. He hoped one day he could look at it like I was. Then I saw him poking fun at the blond vampire. The blonde jokes were amusing. Then I saw the blond's face while she was with Bella. I saw how she hovered around her. I really focused my thoughts on that. Then it dawned on me.

_You know what's crazy?_ I thought.

Well, almost everything is crazy right now. But what do you mean? Jacob asked.

That blonde vampire you hate so much-I totally get her perspective.

Once I said that, I thought Jacob might actually come after me. I could just imagine him ripping my leg off. Then he imagined biting me.

_Hold up! Let me explain!_ I quickly thought.  
_Don't want to hear it. I'm outta here. _He was ready to take off.

_Wait! Wait!_ I pleaded. _C'mon, Jake!_

_Leah, this really isn't the best way to convince me that I want to spend more time with you in the future. _

I rolled my eyes. _Yeah! What an overreaction. You don't even know what I'm talking about.  
Jacob was on the edge right now. He could snap at me any moment.  
So what _are _you talking about?_

Then the emotional pain took over again. My wall was back up. My anger was raging through my thoughts. I couldn't keep it in anymore.

_I'm talking about being a genetic dead end, Jacob.  
_Jacob looked at me._  
I don't understand. _He was lost.

_You would, if you weren't just like the rest of them. If my "female stuff"-_I thought the words with a hard sarcastic edge-_didn't send you running for cover like any stupid male,so you could actually pay attention to what it all means.  
Oh._ Was all he got out.

_You know why Sam thinks we imprint,_ I thought a little calmer now.  
_Sure. To carry on the line._ This response was what I expected from Jacob.

_Right. To make a bunch of new little werewolves. Survival of the species, genetic override. You're drawn to the person who gives you the best chance to pass on the wolf gene. _Jacob stayed quiet as I continued._ If I was any good for that, Sam would have been drawn to me. _

Jacob stopped running because he could see my pain.

_But I'm not. There's something wrong with me. I don't have the ability to pass on the gene, apparently, despite my stellar bloodlines. So I become a freak-the girlie wolf-good for nothing else. I'm a genetic dead end and we both know it.  
_Jacob argued with me._ We do not. That's just Sam's theory. Imprinting happens, but we don't know why. Billy thinks it's something else._

I hated this idea. All these possibilities.

_I know, I know. He thinks you're imprinting to make stronger wolves. Because you and Sam are such humungous monsters-bigger than our fathers. But either way, I'm still not a candidate. I'm . . . I'm menopausal. I'm twenty years old and I"m menopausal. _

I was making him uncomfortable. _  
You don't know that, Leah. It's probably just the whole frozen-in-time thing. When you quit your wolf and start getting older again, I'm sure things will . . . er . . . pick right back up. _

I sighed. _I _might _think that-except that no one's imprinting on me, notwithstanding my impressive pedigree. You know, if you weren't around, Seth would probably have the best claim for being Alpha-through his blood, at least. Of course, no one would ever consider me . . .  
_Jacob quickly snapped back at me._ You really _want_ to imprint, or be imprinted on, or whichever? _He demanded. _What's wrong with going out and falling in love lie a normal person, Leah? Imprinting is just another way of getting your choices taken away from you.  
_I quickly replied._ Sam, Jared, Paul, Quil . . . they don't seem to mind.  
None of them have a mind of their own. _He replied.

_You don't want to imprint? _I asked him.  
_Hell, no! _He didn't hesitate.

_That's just because you're already in love with _her. _That would go away, you know, if you imprinted. You wouldn't have to hurt over her anymore.  
Do you want to forget the way you feel about Sam? _He asked.

I thought about it for a moment. _I think I do. _Jacob just sighed.

_But back to my original point, Jacob. I understand why your blond vampire is so cold-in the figurative sense. She's focused. She's got her eyes on the prize, right? Because you always want the very most what you can never, ever have.  
Jacob quickly replied.  
_You _would act like Rosalie? _You _would murder someone-because that's what she's doing, making sure no one interferes with Bella's death-you would do that to have a baby? Since when are you a breeder. _

_That wasn't how I saw it.  
I just want the option I don't have, Jacob. Maybe, if there was nothing wrong with me, I would never give it a thought.  
You would kill for that. _He demanded. _  
_He couldn't see what I did. _That's not what she's doing. I think it's more like she's living vicariously. And . . . if Bella asked me to help her with this . . . _I paused and considered it. _Even though I don't think too much of her, I'd probably do the same as the bloodsucker. _

Jacob snarled loudly.

_Because, if it was turned around, I'd want Bella to do that for me. And so would Rosalie. We'd both do it her way. _

_Ugh! You're as bad as they are!_ Jacob was disgusted.

_That's the funny thing about knowing you can't have something. It makes you desperate. _I sighed.  
_And . . . thats my limit. Right there. This conversation is over._ Jacob wanted nothing more to do with me at the moment.  
_Fine. _That' was it.

Jacob phased back to human. Seth was asleep. I continued to keep running. I kept up my patrol. I was honest with Jacob. I told him the truth and how I felt. I told him what I saw. I never really thought about it when I told him. I let him in. I let him into such a deep part of me. Now he couldn't care less. I was back to square one. The brick wall was even thicker this time around me.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27 ~ So now I'm the, "Bad guy."**

I was circling back around the perimeter again when I came by the house. I saw Jacob storm out the front door and into the garage. I skidded to a stop waiting to see what he might do. Was he finding a murder weapon? I was a little to eager on that idea. Then a few seconds later, I heard a car engine rev to life. A few seconds later Jacob quickly backed out of the garage and peeled off down the long drive way. I had no explanation as to why he was leaving. He was angry. So the question was, "What had Bella done now?" I loped behind some tree's, and calmed down and phased back to my human form. I threw on my shorts and shirt and made my way to the house.

I walked up the porch stairs and knocked on the door. My thoughts were clear. I couldn't lead Edward onto what I was about to do. I was quickly greeted by the mind reader.  
"Hello Leah." he smiled. I looked at him, "What happened to Jacob? He was trying to keep me from snapping. "He needed to get some fresh air. Change of scenery. Cool off." I eyed him, "Cool off?" My jaw clenched tightly. Edward nodded. His body was so stiff. I wanted to punch him in his flawless face. I knew he wouldn't feel it, but I sure as hell would. "Leah, he was really upset. I heard the fe...babies thoughts. We've found out, it's not meaning to harm Bella. He's working with what little room he has. Bella and I were very happy to know that. Jacob became angry because of this. I gave him the keys to one of my cars, and he went out. He's perfectly safe. No harm came to him."  
I eyed him carefully as I just kept thinking, "Jacob's safe. He's not hurt." Edward nodded assuring me after hearing my thoughts. "How lovely of a Kodak moment. Too bad there wasn't a camera around." Edward sighed softly. "Anyways. Can I speak to Bella. I won't be long?" Edward nodded and moved out of the doorway.

I walked inside and looked around as I entered. "Come this way." He showed me to the living room. He stepped to the side allowing me to enter the large room. Bella was laying on the couch. Her stomach was so swollen now. She looked like she'd gone through hell. She had a quilt draped over her. She looked over at the door way. She must have been expecting Jake. She smiled and whispered, "Hey Ja..." then stopped short, once she saw me. "Leah?" I looked at Edward then back at her. "Yep. In the human form. Shock I know."

She tried to sit up a little bit. Leech lover was there in a second to help her. "Thank you Edward." Her raspy voice sent a shiver down my spine. "So...what...brings...you here?" The girl had to pause in between each word, just to catch her breath. Then she looked at me, "Oh no. Is Jacob hurt?" I shrugged, "Depends on your definition, of hurt. I'm not quite sure anymore. He took off without any warning. Nice way to leave me in a lurch. I have a hunch that you cause it. Well that thing inside you did. Your leech lover husband told me, about the Kodak moment. I truthfully could care less. Jacob get's upset, I mean really upset, only over certain things. Well that list has only a few people on it. Three of them are in this room. I will narrow it down, I'm not one of them. So you can take an educated guess as to who I mean. I looked at her.

She looked back at me and took a second. She cleared her throat. The raspy voice spoke again. "Leah, I'm not trying to hurt him. Jacob...is like a brother to me. He's my best friend." She stopped to catch her breath. "I love and care about him. It hurts me, to put him through this pain. I don't care what form. Mentally, emotionally, or physically, I hate it. He doesn't deserve it. I'm not that cold hearted. He need's to understand, this is what I want. As my friend he should support me. If it were him going through something like this, a huge life altering decision. Well, I'd stand behind him."

I scoffed at her letting my head fall back. I barked out a sarcastic laugh before I locked eyes on her again. "You care, and love him so much. So when are you going to remove the knife from his back. I should call your dad. Tell him to arrest you for stolen property. Maybe assault and battery. You stole Jacob's heart. Then you proceed to knock him down. Then continuously beat him. But for some reason he keep's coming back. I don't know why. You chose your life, well what's left of it." I looked at her. She was withering away for this monster. This parasite who supposedly cared about it's creator. Then Bella spoke softly, "Leah, please. I know all of this is hard on Jacob. Once the baby is born," She cradled her arms around the massive bulge. She cooed a little. I wanted to find a gun and, well you can guess the rest. "I will be changed. But inside I'll be the same old Bella. He and I can continue to be friends."

I couldn't believe she actually thought things would be, somewhat normal. I clenched my fists. "Please tell my you're joking. You're dying. That monster is killing you, more and more by the minute. You'll be dead. Jacob will be alone. What will he have then. A grave stone. The truth is, he'll have NOTHING. Everything he ever cared about will be gone. He's only stayed because of you. When you're gone, so is he. What's it like to hurt someone so much. You must have been taught so well by Sam." I just shook my head. "You know he's the reason why we're all suffering." I pointed at Edward who stood behind the couch. If his life sucking family never came back to Forks, I'd have a life. None of us would be wolves. I'd have my father, alive. Jacob would be happy. He'd have the girl he loves, you. It's ok. You have a nice, "life" with your killer husband.

Bella had tears streaming down her cheeks. "He never imprinted on me. Edward is my soulmate." She gently touched his hand which was on the back of the couch. I wasn't sure if he need support, or if he was trying to keep himself composed. The blonde vampire was now on the stairs. "Soulmate?" I questioned. "He's dead. Mate maybe I'll give you that. Creatures, animals have mates. The only purpose is to reproduce. He's not even alive. He's a piece of stone. You know what, you may not be soul mates. But I will tell you this. Your hearts are as black as the night sky, and as cold as death. So when you die, blonde behind me. She'll be playing mommy. She'll get what she always wanted. Just remember, Jacob's an amazing guy. You never gave him the chance to imprint. You were to good for him. But when you're gone maybe he'll find someone better than you.

Rosalie's hand clutched the banister. "I think you should leave, NOW. You're not helping the situation." Rosalie spoke through gritted teeth. Edward moved quickly from behind the couch. He was beside me in a second. "Leah, please leave. You've upset Bella. There was no reason to yell at her." I turned and headed for the front door. Edward called the blonde over to comfort Bella. _Oh the poor thing. I was so mean to her._ I thought to myself. "Actually you were quite harsh. That was quite uncalled for." I ignored him and whipped open the front door. "Maybe you should stay the hell out of people's heads. You're so damn nosey. Now I can see why Jacob get's so annoyed with you."

I was down the stairs and walking back to the rivers edge. Within a second, Edward stood in front of me. "How dare you. You said you wanted to SPEAK, to my wife. You had NO right to yell. I should have thrown you out myself. I was polite and asked you to leave." I looked right into his eyes. "If you laid one hand on me, you'd be in pieces. I can phase faster than you can think, LEECH." Edward's eyes burned with pure hate. "I'm much more respectful of Jacob than you give me credit for. I don't waste my time with pup's like yourself." I growled, "Just remember who's protecting your crappy little, "Family" leech boy. I so badly hope, her blood stains your hands forever." I nodded towards the house. "May her death live on your conscious forever." I slammed into him with my right shoulder as hard as I possibly could. He was a little caught off guard. I know I did not inflict any pain. I wanted to get my point across.

I stripped out of my clothes once I was back down by the river. I tossed them on the ground. I quickly phased back with very little effort. My anger was ruling my phasing ability right now.

_Hey nice way to leave me in a lurch. _

I heard Seth and saw him come into view a few seconds later. I trotted over to him. He looked like he just woke up. Maybe he caught the last bit of my conversation with Edward.

_Well maybe you should say the same thing to Jacob. _I thought_. _

Seth yawned.  
_I wondered what happened. Any word?  
_I shook my head. Then Seth looked at me. He caught the last image of Bella in my mind. She was in tears. Then he saw me bang into Edward.  
_What did you do to Bella? Why's she upset? Leah! _

We waited not saying a word. Jacob had to come back eventually. So we ran quietly until then. Jacob drove past us as he came up the long drive. He nodded at us and continued to the house.

_I'm gonna go check on Jacob. Be right back. _

Seth loped off in the direction of the Cullen house. I went down by the river and sat back on my haunches. Seth was gone for about, ten minutes.  
_Jacob told me, to tell you, and I quote, "Hey, tell your sister to back off now, okay? Enough." I don't what you said, but relax. Don't blame Bella, ok? She's my friend as well._ I continued to sit quietly not saying a word.

_You need some like chill pills sis. Your becoming a mental case. Anyways we need to run a patrol. So let's go. _

We quietly ran the perimeter a few times. Seth stayed closer to the house. I took the outer most loop. Nobody was trying to penetrate the Cullen territory. Then I finally broke the silence.

_She had it coming. She needed to hear it before she dies. Get an inside scoop.  
_Seth snarled at me.  
_You're my sister and I love you. I don't love who you are now though. You're a cold hearted person.  
_I growled.  
_Let's all pretend Bella is some, wonderful person. She's so precious. So innocent. Bella can do no wrong.  
_Seth ran over to where I was coming around. He stopped right in front of me.  
_Who the hell do you think you are? You're such a bitch. What did she ever do to you? Nothing. Your acting all mighty. What are you trying to prove something? Wow your so tough. Yelling at her for hurting Jake. Guess what? Jake's a big boy. She know's how he feels. She feels bad. But you know everything. Well you really screwed up this time. _

I looked at Seth._  
You need to get off the Bella train as well. If you don't, she'll drag you down as well. The last thing _I _need is two moping wolves. _

I saw Bella as Sam. Jacob was me. Well Edward was Emily. I didn't want anyone else to feel, the pain I felt. The hurt, and anger everyday.

_Oh, I get it now. It's all about you Leah. If you're not happy, why should anyone be. But It comes back to Sam. It always does. You'll never move on. Well you need to. Sam has, and he's happy._

I was so angry the pain had it's tight grip on me. I loped off and took my spot back by the river.  
_Leah, I'm sorry._ Seth felt bad now.

I laid down and closed my eyes. I just wanted to shut off everything. Everything, including my heart. I didn't move for the rest of the afternoon. I watched the sky as it clouded over. I could hear them moving about inside the house. Bella was on the couch. I could hear Jacob giving Edward, the ok to save Bella's life. So she would be turned. If Sam heard this, I could only imagine what would happen. I kept listening to what was going on inside the Cullen fortress. I was trying to stay in the loop. I wanted to know how much longer I was stuck here.

It sucked bad. I didn't have any access to books, music or my journal. The only thing that really knew how I felt. I missed my home a little bit. I missed the smell of my mom's cooking. I decided to try and get some sleep. I laid there listening between the river running beside me, and the soap opera inside. I was on the edge of dozing off when, I heard the gasp. It was Bella. Then a moment later, a blood curdling scream ripped through my ears. What was going on?


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28 ~ Too much to handle at once. That's all I can say.**

I waited for a moment listening, nothing. The breeze was gentle through my fur. There were no new scents. I ran around the house checking for anything. There was nothing.  
_Leah! Leah! Answer me. What's going on? _

I shook my head trying to clear it. I need to focus. Seth's panicking thoughts weren't helping.

_I'm not quite sure. I heard Bella gasp. Then it all went quiet. Then she let out a blood curdling scream. _

I moved back towards the front of the house. Seth must have been close. I could see him in my peripheral vision. I moved quietly listening for anything. What had happened. Then it smacked me in the face. A strong smell of metal, fumigated the air outside. Blood. It was combined with vampire stench. It burned but I had to forget it. Push past it. Had the fetus tried to rip itself from the womb. All these crazy images started swarming in my head. I imagined it biting it's way through Bella's stomach. I cringed at that one.

_Jeez, Leah. It's a baby not an alien.  
_I caught Seth picturing the scene from Space Balls. When they're in the diner and the little alien pops out of the guys stomach. The alien proceeds to do a song and dance on the counter then disappears. I looked at Seth and he just shrugged a little.

Then the voices upstairs snapped us both back. "MORPHINE!" So they were trying to ease someone's pain. I kept trying to listen. They were talking so fast, I couldn't follow. Then I heard blonde yelling, "Get Carlisle on the phone." They were somewhere upstairs in the massive house. I remembered, the doc, wife and the huge vampire took off earlier. So what were they doing to her. I was horrified listening to the commotion. My stomach became one giant knot. Seth whined softly behind me. Then there was a loud commotion again and banging of metal. Edward was yelling. I listened and could hearts still beating. Multiple hearts was a good thing. Then there was another much faster heart beat. Seth gave a wolfy grin.  
_The baby is ok. That's a good thing. _  
I ignored him. Then Edwards voice was normal again, "Renesmee." Bella's whisper of a voice repeated the name. She slowly spaced it out. LIke she was trying to catch her breath. "So . . . beautiful." was the last time I heard Bella Cullen speak. She gasped once more. This time It was a gasp of pain.

The monster had bit it's own mother. It only starved her to death. It broke her bones. It was a killer, just like it's father. A demon. A blood sucking murderer. So it was already thirsting for blood. It wouldn't be able to sustain the animal blood diet. So now we were all in some serious trouble. It did care who it hurt. It just knew what it wanted and that was it. Edward cautioned the thing on what was wrong. So the guy who wanted nothing to do with it, was now all paternal. I almost waited for someone to pop a the cork on a champagne bottle. That would be the blonde vampire. She got the baby she so badly longed for.

Then I heard the last, THUD. As Bella's heart faltered to a stop. She didn't make it. She truly had left Jacob. She made it long enough for the creature to survive, and that was it. The girl Jacob had loved so much, was gone. Seth laid down beside me while I stood. He put his head on top of his paws. I listened helplessly. I wanted to take away Jacob, and Seth's pain. I could hear Jacob trying to do cpr. The leech was helping also. I started to feel a black veil come over me.

The voices, and noises were swirling inside my head. Flashes were all I was seeing. Images flashed through my mind. Images I tried to stuff away. Stuff away down to the bottom of my feet. Movement in the house caught my eye. The blonde vampire came down the stairs quietly. She sat in the living room on the couch. She cooed at the monster in her arms. It looked normal from what I could see. I was having trouble. This rush of emotions was running through me. I was jealous of Rosalie. She was able to hold a baby. Something I would never have the opportunity to do. She had someone she loved. She had someone to spend, forever with. I turned and loped back to the river back. Seth stayed behind. I laid down and watched the river.

I wasn't sure what would happen next now. Would Jacob hang around for her funereal? Would there be a funeral? Would he take off and leave me here. Would he try and kill this creature? I couldn't think straight anymore. I'd lost so much in the past few months, right now, I was having trouble controlling everything. I just remembered being told, my dad didn't make it. Remembering my last moments with my dad as he laid on the ground. I started to get angry, I never tried to do cpr. Why didn't my mom try. She just knelt beside him holding his hand. Why couldn't the paramedics get there faster. Why didn't the doctors try longer to work on him. They could have saved him.  
_Leah, it was his time. You've got to understand that. I'm sorry sis.  
_Seth's soft thoughts were interrupting mine. I let it all go quiet. I fell asleep.

I wasn't out very long. Maybe an hour at most. Then Seth almost jumped on top of me.  
_He imprinted. On the baby. Jacob imprinted on Renesmee.  
_I blinked a few times.  
_What? Wait, when?_ I thought.

_He came downstairs. He saw her and boom. You could just tell. He was frozen in place for like five minutes. _Seth was so excited.

_Wow! Congratulations I guess. Let me grab some Pine needles. I don't have confetti at my disposal. We'll throw them in the air, and celebrate. _

_Geez, Leah. Can't you be happy for him?  
He's stuck to Bella forever. Don't you see that. He imprinted on a baby. A BABY SETH! Doesn't that seem a bit strange. Maybe he wants to be with Bella so badly.  
_Seth cut me off.  
_Leah, think about it. Maybe that's why Jacob was so close to Bella, while she as pregnant. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  
Please, please, please, Leah. Be happy for him. Be happy he has someone._ He nudged me gently and went back to the house.

I laid back down with my head on my paws. I tried to fall asleep. It didn't come easy this time. I listened to all the various sounds going on around. I heard Jacob inside cooing at the baby. The blonde vampire groaned because Jacob was so close. Then I heard the rushing of air. Something was moving fast through the tree's towards the house. It wasn't wolves. It was the three Cullen's that had left earlier in the day. I listened as the glided up the stairs and in through the front door. I finally was able to get back to the sleepy state I was so desperate for. A few seconds later I was out.

I must have slept forever. It sure felt like it. I felt a little better. It had rained while I was sleep. Luckily the huge Pine I was sleeping under gave me plenty of protection. It was some time in the morning. I stretched out and then slowly stood up. I made my way up over the embankment towards the house. Jacob was just coming down off the porch.  
"Hey Leah." He was smiling. "Thank you for not causing any more trouble. I really appreciate it.  
I nodded a little.  
"So how are you doing? I know it's been crazy."  
I nodded towards the living room windows. Blondie had the baby again. But the others were close by as well. Jacob looked up at the window then back at me.  
"Seth? He's inside. He got some new clothes. Took a shower. They've fed him. Now he's just resting."

I nodded and nudged Jacob's hand gently thanking him.  
"Not a problem. I promised I'd look out for him, Leah."  
I looked inside the windows again.  
"Nessie?" I nodded. "Oh she's great. Healthy. Growing. Smart as a whip. I know Seth told you I imprinted. Please don't be angry at me. I can't leave now. She's here and she's the one. I know we talked about going off together."  
I just nodded. He didn't need to explain anymore. I proceeded to look up to the second floor windows. "Bella? She's transitioning. It seems to be going good at the moment."  
I nodded then turned and started my walks back towards the river. "Leah, I'm sorry." Jacob called after me. I laid down again. There was nothing to talk about.

Laying there left me to do more thinking then I wanted to. I had nobody now. I was going to go off alone. Nobody needed me, and vice versa. Seth could stay back in La Push. He needed to graduate. Needed to make something of himself. I'd graduated. So the only thing I was know for in La Push was, Sam Uley's pathetic ex-girlfriend. The girl he laid with in bed, took the most pure piece of her. Then left her for Emily Young. Soon to be married. Then they'll be having children. They'll be phasing. I just didn't need to hang around and see his happiness.

Jacob came to talk to me. "Hey listen. I know Seth isn't happy about this, but I've gotta talk with Sam." I looked at him and whined. Jacob gently patted my head, "It'll be ok. He won't hurt me. I will be back in a little bit. Keep an on the place." He smiled and left. I stayed on the front lawn near the tree line. Carlisle came out and walked over and smiled, "Hello Leah." I nodded. I still didn't like the leeches. Carlisle I was sort of becoming fond of him. I'm not sure why the sudden change. His calm personality. His overall view of wanting to help others. He always seemed to be smiling when I saw him. I saw my dad. Carlisle would go to any length to keep his family safe. He never was looking to hurt anyone when he changed them. He looked off smiling softly. He just seem to be in a different place. He didn't mind my company and, well I didn't mind his.

We both kept our spots and didn't say a word. Then I heard the thudding of paws and the noise changed. I heard Jacob and Sam. Their breath was calm. Sam's heart rate was slightly accelerated. They emerged from the trees and walked over to Carlisle. "Hello Sam." Jacob looked at me and smiled a little. Sam nodded, "Hello Carlisle. Jacob has explained to me about, Renesmee. I'm aware of the Imprint. So the treaty is no longer void. It will remain as it once was." Carlisle smiled the genuine smile and nodded, "Thank you for understanding." Sam nodded. I stared off into the tree's. Sam looked in my direction. I caught the glance out of the corner of my eye. "How's she been? Any problems?" Sam asked Jacob. "She's been good. She's talked to me. She's been hunting twice. Had to eat raw. She spends most of her time, phased." Sam nodded, "I was angry when she took off. I felt a bit betrayed I must say." Jacob straightened up, "She did what she felt was right. No offense Carlisle. She didn't see the point of an attack on innocent, people." I couldn't believe Jacob just lied to Sam. Carlisle smiled, "She's a strong wolf. I must give her credit for that." Sam nodded, "I need to be getting back to La Push. Emily's making lunch." I felt the knife stab. I tried to stifle the whine. I quietly got up and walked down to the edge of the river and laid down.

"Jacob I will see you at some point. Have a good afternoon Carlisle." Sam turned and took off into the woods. Carlisle waited a few minutes and looked where I had been laying, then at Jacob. "How is she? Be honest please. I know this has put a great deal of stress on her. I know us coming back alone, has really pushed her." Jacob sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, " She's ok. Before I imprinted she asked if she, could take off and go wolf with me." Carlisle raised an eyebrow. "Yeah. She really wants out of La Push. I feel bad. She's not a bad person deep down. She's harboring a lot of anger. It doesn't help that Sam clearly wished, she'd disappear before." Carlisle nodded, "Well please let her know, we do appreciate all she does. If your pack still needs anything, let us know." Jacob smiled, "Thanks, will do." They both headed back in the house.

The day continued to pass by. I didn't bother to run a patrol. The Cullen's were no longer a threat. The only reason, Seth and I stayed was, the pack. We didn't leave unless Jacob gave the ok. I sunk back into sleep. My dreams were crazy. Actually they were more like nightmares.

Jacob, Seth and myself. We were running patrols around the Cullen's still. Bella was a newborn vampire. Her eyes were crimson. I'd never seen anything so creepy in my life. She was out hunting for food, I guess you'd call it. Seth was too close and she lunged at him. I heard the whimper and a loud, _crack._

Seth's lifeless body was on the ground. He was still in wolf form. I was horrified. I didn't have time to check on him. A scream ripped through the tree's. I ran to find Bella attacking my mom. I charged at Bella trying to knock her off. One back hand sent me across the woods into a tree. I heard the thud as my back met the tree. I fell on the ground. I got to my feet, and I was running again. Then I watched Bella bite my mother. Her blood dribbling down her neck. Bella held on to my mother. I finally knocked her off my mother. She slid down to the ground and body all twisted up. She looked up at me with lifeless eyes. I phased back I didn't care I was beside my mother naked. I shook her by her shoulders. I rubbed her arm. "Mom please. Don't leave me like this." I could hear Bella behind me smirking. "So please remind me again, who's the killer here. Oh right. You killed your father and now your mother. Maybe you should take the blame." I heard her take off running. I stayed there with my mother's lifeless corpse.

I must have been whimpering loudly in my sleep. "Hey Leah. You ok?" I woke up and found Seth squatting beside me in human form. We could hear you from the house. Jacob sent me out." The fear and pain showed in my eyes. "You're ok now. Listen what ever happened, it was a dream. You were out cold. I knew you were exhausted." I gently nudged his hand with my head. "Love you too sis. I want to give you a head's up. Bella's completed the change. Edward's going to be taking her hunting. I quickly stood up and tense. "Calm down ok." Seth put his hands up. I looked past him.

A few second's later Jacob joined us. "Hey. So they're heading out now." Seth nodded, "Yeah I filled her in." Jacob smiled, "Thanks. So hear's the deal. I'm going to test Bella when she comes back. We want to see if she'll be able to see, Nessie. I want you two near by while this is going on. Seth you need to phase also. I looked at Jacob. "I don't want to hear any complaints Leah. I know what I'm doing. I'm the in charge and what I say goes." My tail twitched back in forth. So we followed Jacob to the line where the tree line, touched the Cullen's grass. Jacob stood on the line. I paced back and fourth. Seth paced a little more nervously. He was between excitement and boredom. He was an walking oxymoron. Before we knew it they were back. Edward warned Jacob to be careful. I snarled but Jacob wasn't the least bit worried. So Jacob was the human, the guinea pig. I'm glad it wasn't Seth volunteering. I'd kill him. They wouldn't have to worry about Bella doing it. "It's your neck, I guess." Edward said to Jacob. That was it for me. I growled furiously at the leech.

Jacob, Bella and Edward quietly spoke for a moment. Then Jacob was all to eager again, "First let's get this show on the road." When I saw what he was doing, I whined trying to stop him. I slid out from behind them trees. Seth followed behind me. "Cool it guys," Jacob said. "Stay out of this." He was too close for our comfort. "C'mon, Bells. Do your worst." I hissed. Bella comment on Jacob's scent and how, unpleasing it was. Edward started laughing, Seth joined in.

_Oh yes Bella. And you smell like a Rose bush. No you're more like the thorn and smell like,  
_Seth chuckled a little,_ You can get over the scent if you want to. _

_I'm quite alright with that. The scent bother's me for a reason. As it should you and him. If she doesn't kill him, maybe they'll go back and have a tea party. Well Jacob will have tea, she'll probably have a blood bag.  
_Seth sighed,_ One day maybe you'll be nice to them. _

_Ha. Keep dreaming little bro. _I thought back.

We watched as Jacob moved a little closer to Bella. I backed up. Nothing happened. She was perfectly fine. His blood didn't phase her.  
After the little experiment they all headed back to the house. While they were inside, Seth and I were outside near the front lawn,within the tree line. We just waited.  
_So what are you planning on doing? Going to hang around?  
_I sighed, _I will stay around now probably. Thinking about going to school in Seattle. Nursing like mom did. I'd come home on the weekends. I'll only be a few hours away. _

Seth grinned, _That'd be cool. So I would have two rooms for myself.  
_I laughed, _Keep dreaming. I need somewhere to sleep when I come back.  
Nah. You can phase and sleep outside. _He laughed.

Then our conversation was cut short when there was commotion inside the large house.  
"You stupid mutt!" Bella was furious. Seth and I exchanged glances.  
_I guess she found out about the imprint._ Seth thought. I nodded agreeing with him.

Next thing we saw was, Jacob quickly walking down the porch stairs backwards. Bella was moving fast as well. She was growling as she spoke. Jacob desperately tried to explain. He kept walking backwards in our direction. "It was involuntary." Jacob insisted. He backed right into the tree's with us. We flanked to either side of Jacob. I opened my mouth snapping at Bella. She snarled back at me. Jacob was begging her to listen. "Leah, back off." He said. I curled my lip and didn't budge.

The other's were outside now. Bella was furious. I stood there ready to knock her out. I didn't like his imprint, but Jacob was truly innocent. He kept desperately trying to get Bella to listen, but she wouldn't. She used to be so calm. So easy going. Now she had turned into blonde vampire bff. They were remarking on how she hadn't attacked him, _yet._ I was ready if she tried to. I would kill her. Then Jacob said it. Jacob explained to her why he couldn't stay away while she was pregnant. He had already bonded with the baby. Then he backed up some more. He was between Seth and I fumbling to speak. Then Bella lunged at Jacob.

Before I could get in between her attack on Jacob, it was too late. I heard the loudest sound of bones slamming against stone. The noise echoed through the tree's. There was a thud, and a whimper. Jacob was beside Seth. Bella was on her feet. Edward and Carlisle were there in a second. Carlisle was on the ground beside Seth. I growled angrily and stared at her.  
_Oh damn. She broke something._ Seth thought.  
_Are you ok otherwise? _I whined a little.  
_I can't move my shoulder at all._ He whimpered a little.

I locked eyes on her. I was going to lunge at her. Breaking something on her. See how she liked it. "LEAH, NO!" Edward yelled.  
Jacob stood in front of me. "Calm down. I know. Please I don't want you getting hurt.  
I snarled and my body trembled.  
_Leah, I'm gonna phase back. I'll let the doc fix me up. I'll be good as new.  
_Jacob looked at Edward., " Seth's going to phase back, Carlisle." Edward heard the conversation between us. Carlisle nodded. Seth got to his feet and went behind the tree's. He walked back out cradling his arm. "Man she can hit." Seth smirked. Carlisle carefully held Seth's arm as they walked inside. "We'll get you fixed up." Seth smiled. Edward, Bella and Jacob stood there for a moment. Edward looked at me, almost like he felt bad. He wrapped his arm around Bella's waist and guided her back into the house. "Leah, I'm sorry." I nodded and Jacob walked back inside behind them.

I turned and walked off to the river. I was so angry. I wanted to rip her throat out. Seth was so young. She needed to learn to control herself. Jacob sat on the porch with Renesmee. He quietly spoke to her. He was so happy. She smiled back at him. She was growing fast. Hard to believe she was only two days old. I had a knot that took over my stomach. The whole in my heart just grew. Jacob and I were not going to run away and go all wolf. He was firmly planted here now. He had his true love in life.

I paced back and forth along the river. I would stop and look up at the house. I looked and could see Seth sleeping. He was all splinted up. The blonde vampire was now outside with Jacob. I blocked out their bickering over the child. It became old very fast. Bella glided over to the windows. I glared at her. Murder was high on my list, her name was conveniently beside it. Jasper was reassuring Bella that nobody was angry with her. I just snorted and they both heard it. Before I knew it Jacob, Renesmee and Rosalie were inside. It was time for the babies measurements.

I walked back up to the house. I sat down quietly and looked int he large windows. They measured her with clock work precision. She was growing like a weed. After everything was done, I walked back to the river. I stood quietly for some time. I'm not sure what happened, but Jasper was pacing along the river. I kept my distance. The next thing I saw was him leave over the river. He was gone within seconds. I assumed Bella had done something to cause him to take off. It was easy to assume she was behind anyone's anger.

The time passed and there was nothing to do as usual. There were no more patrols. Jacob and Seth were inside, relaxing comfortably. I started thinking about when I may take off. I thought long and hard about Seattle. It would give me the freedom I so badly wanted. I was still glowering, when I got up and slunk into the bush. The smallest vampire, Alice was at the rivers edge. She did some acrobatics and propelled herself over the water to the other side. The mother just leaped over casually. The big vamp, stomped through the water splashing everything. Water even hit the windows on the house. Then Jasper was the last one back over. They must have come back from hunting or something. I went back to thinking.

Seattle was perfect. I could attend school at Seattle University. I would be able to drive back here in about four hours. I always liked helping people. I'd always been fascinated with medical stuff. So college, part-time job, and a life. I could handle this. No more phasing. No more patrols. I'd be Leah Clearwater. I'd have my life back. Nothing would change it. A smiled registered on my face. I had to admit now, I was tired. Everything that had happened today, put a drain on me. I had hunger lurking in the background. I didn't have it in me to hunt. I couldn't eat raw tonight. When Jacob came he helped distract me. Now he couldn't. So I closed my eyes and fell asleep.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29 ~ Jacob have you ever used your brain?**

It must have been about 5:00am when Jacob woke me. "Hey Leah." He gently nudged my shoulder. I opened my eyes yawning and looked up. "I need you, and Seth to come with me. I've gotta go talk to Charlie. Seth's ready to go. Will you come? " I stood up stretching "Thanks Leah." I nodded and nudged him with my head, and he laughed. We quietly took off for Charlie's house. Seth was being a smart ass, "Well luckily she doesn't need a leash." Jacob smirked and I rolled my eyes. "Oh Leah, you know I'm kidding." I just nodded and kept up with them. "So how's the shoulder, and collar bone?" Jacob asked Seth. I growled softly. I was still not over that. "Good. A tiny bit sore. But hey, it comes with the territory of protection. I couldn't let Bella hurt you." Jacob smiled and the growl was louder this time. "Thanks kid. Trust me if your sister stepped in, well I don't think Bella would be walking." I let out a wolfy chuckle. "Yeah. Leah isn't afraid to protect us." They both turned back and smiled. "Thank you for your restraint Leah." Jacob smiled.

We were in the woods, beside Charlie's house. Seth looked at Jacob, "Should I phase, or stay human?" Jacob thought about it for a minute, "Stay human. I think just incase." Seth nodded and slipped behind a tree. I kept hidden. We watched as Jacob made his way up the porch stairs. He knocked on the front door gently. It was still early. Charlie was already dressed. It looked like he might have the day off. Fishing was my guess. In the next month or two it would be too cold to go anymore. I sat back on my haunches and waited. Charlie opened the door, a little taken back to see Jacob towering there.

"Hey kid. What are you doing here? Charlie peered around him to see, if anyone else accompanied him. "It's just me. I'm going solo for now. I wanted to see how you were doing." Charlie nodded, "I'm pretty good. Still worrying about Bella." Jacob nodded, "Well she's better now. I saw her myself. Charlie perked up, "Really, when?" Jacob nodded, "Yesterday. Anyways, I was hoping we could talk. It's kind of important." Jacob shifted his weight. Charlie rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah I guess so. Is everything ok with you?" Jacob shrugged, "Yeah. I need to show you something as well." Charlie looked at Jacob. "Come on Charlie. Let's go. I can't wait much longer." Charlie stepped out and shut the door behind him. "Let's walk."

Jacob was down the stairs in three steps. Mind you he skipped stairs now. His legs were long enough he could do it. Charlie followed behind him. They walked into the woods beside the house. Seth and I kept our place. "So Bella's not sick anymore. She's back here in Forks. She's with the Cullen's at her house. Charlie you need to understand, things are different." Charlie eyed Jacob, "What do you mean different?" Jacob rolled his eyes, "Life weird sort of." Charlie started to turn around, Jacob caught his arm. "Hey hold on there. Just listen ok. I need to show you something." I was not ready for this.

Jacob stood there and started to take off his clothes. "Whoa, Jake." Seth was on the ground holding his sides with one arm, and covering his mouth with the other. I was able to contain my laughter. Charlie's alarmed face was priceless. "Relax ok. Don't be jealous of my physique Charlie." Charlie just shook his head. "Son, I don't think I can relax. You're standing here, in front of me, in underwear." Jacob laughed, "Not for long." Those were the next things to come off. Charlie turned as red as cherry. At this point I think Seth had stopped breathing. Jacob shook and the next thing I saw was his wolf form. Charlie had gone white. His bottom lip quivering. Shock set in. My heart started to race.

_Good way to scare the poor guy. He's either going to have a heart attack, or end up in a looney bin, Jacob. _  
Jacob gave a wolfy grin and laughed, _Nah. Charlie's a tough guy. He needs to know the truth.  
Jacob I'm not kidding. You could have hurt him._

Once Charlie had taken it all in, Jacob phased back to human. He got dressed as best as he could. His laughter echoing through the air. "Breathe Charlie. You're not crazy." Charlie was still white as a ghost, "You were a wolf. A giant wolf." Jacob nodded, "Yeah I phase for kids birthday parties. Need to make some extra money for myself." Charlie's eyes at this point bulged out of his head. Jacob burst out laughing once again, "Charlie, I'm joking." Charlie just nodded, "So now you know my secret."

They started back towards the house, "Charlie you need to understand. The world you live in has, many secrets." Charlie took some deep breaths. I could still hear his heart racing. "For now kid. I want to keep this on a, "Need to know" basis." Jacob laughed and nodded, "Will do then." They continued to talk some more about various things. I didn't bother to pay attention. If I had known what he was up to, I wouldn't have come. " I have to head back to the Cullen's. I'm going to give them a heads up your coming. I will see you there in a little bit." Charlie walked back in the house and shut the door behind him. Jacob started back towards us. Seth waited quietly.

I started walking back towards the Cullen's ahead of the boys. "I think that really bothered Leah." Seth whispered to Jacob. "Why do you say that?" Jacob was curious. "Well when you phased, Charlie went white. I mean white. Leah's whole face changed. Panic set in on her face. I could tell even when she was in wolf form. I was dying trying not to laugh. But when I saw her face, then Charlie's, I knew." Jacob raised an eyebrow, "I'm not catching your drift kid." Seth sighed, "Our dad Jake. Our dad went white on us like that. Leah was there beside him, with our mom. I was on the phone." Jacob sighed, "I feel like a jerk. Kid I'm sorry." Seth put up a hand to stop him, "No need to apologize to me. I'm ok. Leah's not thought. She still blames herself. She thinks, if we never phased, he'd be alive. There was no way of knowing. Our mom said he had a bad heart." Jacob nodded, "It wasn't anyone's fault." Seth nodded, "I know. Death changes you. Changes your outlook." The rest of the walk was quiet after that.

Once we were back to the house. I went behind the tree's and phased. All I had to wear were the dirty cotton shirts, and t-shirt, I left with when I joined Jacob's pack. I felt so uncomfortable. I felt the tears just on the edge. One thing, one memory, and the flood gates would open up. "Leah, you ready?" Jacob asked. I stepped out from behind the tree's fidgeting with my shorts. Any distraction away from my face. "Let's head inside and talk to them." I followed behind Jacob and Seth. I wanted to run away. Just run until my legs gave out. I couldn't. Jacob was in command.

We walked up the porch stairs. Quietly we walked in, without knocking. That felt awkward. Jacob entered the tension filled room first. Seth and I were right behind him.

Edward stood there, fire burning in his eyes. That seemed to me, all he was able to show. Both of our hands were trembling, we were so nervous. Edward informed all of them, about Jacob's phasing in front of Charlie. Bella snapped at Jacob, "You absolute, _moron_! You could have given him a heart attack." I automatically flinched at the word. So did this apply to Seth and I as well. Were we, "_morons_" as Bella had said. We phased then our father died. I couldn't believe it. She was back to her cruel self again. Anything to hurt Jacob with.

Bella then threatened Jacob. He had thirty seconds to tell her everything. He flopped down in a chair. Seth and myself, stayed by his sides. We both were still on edge. How could you not be, in a room full of vampires. Our mortal enemies. I locked my eyes on Bella. My teeth slightly bared. I was ready to protect my brother, from this crazy newborn vampire. Jacob got up to move close. Instinctively Seth and I moved, but Jacob waved us off.

They finished speaking. Jacob had given her the whole story. Renesmee was back in Jacob's arms. Seth and Jake had slouched onto the floor. I stood there shaking my head. The tears were there again. I tried to hide it. I knew eyes were watching me carefully. I swallowed and pursed my lips together, "Am I allowed to leave?" I griped. I was beyond uncomfortable. I was wearing the same dirty clothes, that Bella had seen me in, when I yelled at her. My hair was a mess. My face god only knew how that looked. "Of course." Jacob spoke. Alice looked at me adding, "Stay east so you don't cross Charlie's path." I never looked at her. I slipped out the back door, and stomped off to the bushes.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30 ~ This is a lot, to happen at once. But this could be good**

I phased taking off into the woods. I felt so out of place in their house. I was mortified to be standing there with dirty clothes. I was no longer needed. I thought why not take off for a bit. Head to La Push. Take a shower. Get some food. Clean clothes. Major priorities. I ran along the river. I breathed a sigh of relief, once I crossed over the treaty line. Home was close, so I continued to run. Once I was at the tree line, that met our property, I phased back to my human form. I put on my dirty clothes and hurried for the house. I walked inside and looked around. Charlie?" my mom called out asking. "No. Not last time I checked." My mom came flying around the corner and hugged me tightly. I hugged her back. "How are you?" she asked looking me over. I shrugged, "Ok. Alive." She smiled, "I'm glad. Go take a hot shower. Leave me your clothes to wash. Lunch will be ready soon." She smiled and gently touched my cheek, and returned to the kitchen. I went to my room.

Everything had sat there untouched. I then realized my bed had been sat on, several times. Then the picture of my dad I had, was moved. My mom must have come in here. I could picture her sitting in here alone. I wondered what she thought about. I brought myself back around to reality. I needed a shower and, I needed it now. I changed out of my clothes and grabbed my towel and hurried to the bathroom. I turned on the water and climbed in. The feeling of hot water on my skin caused goosebumps. I'd so badly wanted a shower for days. I took my time just standing under the running water. I took the alone time to reflect. I'd broken free of Sam's pack. No longer was I under his authority, to be controlled. I was still under an Alpha's orders, but one who seemed to care. I quietly washed up. I scrubbed so hard trying to feel clean. My skin was red now. I decided to rinse off and then get out. I grabbed the towel wrapping it around me and went back to my room.

I pulled out a pair of denim shorts, and a navy blue tank top. It felt so weird wearing a bra, and panties again. I was still adjusting to being human. I ran the brush through my wet hair once. The clothes that I had lived in since, I was at the Cullens were dreadful. I threw them in the laundry. I would never wear then again, but keep them as a reminder. To remember what I could truly achieve once I put my mind towards something. I was sitting on the bed and looking at the floor. My mind was still on overdrive. My mom was leaning in the doorway to my room, "Lunch is ready." she smiled. I just looked up with watery eyes at her. "What's wrong?" She came and sat beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder, and pulled me close to her. She gently rested her chin, on top of my head, "Hun let it out. Does no good to hold it all in." After a few minutes of crying, I broke my mothers soft, "Shh." I wiped my cheeks and sat up carefully pulling away. "I'm so sorry the way I left you. I should have been more responsible about it. I was just thinking about, keeping Seth safe." She looked at me, "And breaking away from Sam's pack. Hun I heard. I'm proud of you. It took a lot of courage to do what you did." I sighed, "Well yesterday, I kept him safe up until then. See Bella snapped at Jacob, after she'd found out about his imprint on the baby. So she lunged at Jacob, who was in wolf form. Well Seth stepped in while in wolf form. He got hurt. He's ok now. Carlisle fixed him up." My mom smiled a bit, nervously. She didn't care too much for Seth being so cordial with them. "As long as he's ok now. That's all that matters. We can' change the past." She smiled and stood up. "Let's have some lunch, shall we?" I nodded and followed her out.

We sat down at the table. I quietly and slowly ate my tuna melt. Food never tasted so wonderful to me. Just sitting here with my mom, I wanted to remember this moment. Who knew when I wouldn't be abel to any more. She was still young, but with everything that happened. I closed my eyes momentarily, taking in my mom's scent. The smell of the food, the house. "Leah, I can make more sandwiches. Go ahead and eat." I smiled, "It's ok. I'm just enjoying it. It's nice to have real food again. I hunted twice with Jacob. It took all I had to eat it raw. Jacob tried to help once. Told me to go with my animal instinct. Never again." That caught my mom off guard. "What about Seth then? What did he eat?" I smiled and finished my sandwich, pushing the plate away. "Oh Esme fed him. He also had clean clothes. She felt really bad." My mom nodded, "Well that was very nice of her. Now why didn't you and Jacob get any?" I rolled my eyes, "Well we did. I sort of had a bratty outburst. I was ungrateful. What I did with it, well I was jerk. I kicked the clothes, and food into the river. Please don't lecture me. The guilt is actually bothering me." My mom nodded.

We moved out to the living room, after dishes were put in the sink. My mom curled up in my dad's char. I sat on the couch. "So there's some other stuff that happened." My mom nodded, "Sam had told us about, Jacob imprinting on the child." I nodded, "Well Jacob decided to phase in front of Charlie. He was a bit shocked, but he's fine." My mom's jaw dropped. Great now what was going to happen. "I watched the whole thing happen. I was hidden, so was Seth. Charlie never saw us." She sighed, "Charlie had been asking where you two were." I smirked a little, "Well you could say, "The wolfs out of the bag." and you wouldn't be lying." My mother eyed me. "Charlie wants to keep on a, "Need to know" basis. So don't worry." She just nodded. What else could she do. "I've gotta tell him about you kids. He and I are spending a lot of time together. Things are starting to get a little more serious." I just listened, "Leah I know it's been several months since, your dad passed away. Please don't be angry with me. I'm happy again. Charlie fills the missing piece of me." I smiled, "I'm happy for you. You deserve it." She looked right at me, "But so don't you. You deserve to have a life. One where you'll one day get married." She paused there. Where else could she go with it. She knew it, "Oh Leah you know what I meant." I just nodded, "It's ok. I'm going to get some rest." I got up and retreated to my room.

My mom was casually moving on with her life. My dad had not even died six months ago. My mom was a big girl. I had to realize this. She could take care of herself. I looked at my dad's picture, for quite some time. His warm smile frozen in that moment. I sat consumed with this memory. I remembered his scent. The way his voice sounded. I was pulled from the moment, once I heard noise outside. Billy had wheeled himself here.

"Hey Sue. How are you doing?" He asked wheeling himself inside. "Wonderful. Leah's home now. She's in her room resting." Billy smiled. "I'm glad to hear that. I'm assuming Jacob's still at the Cullen's." My mom shrugged. "Of course he is Billy. Where else would he be." I called out from my room. "Hello Leah." Billy chuckled. I wasn't ready to get up. So I laid back on my bed relaxing.

Billy and mom mom sat at the table. They quietly spoke, "So she came home today?" My mom smiled, "It was a pleasant surprise. I thought it might have been Charlie. By the way, I heard Jacob phased in front of Charlie." Billy sighed and shook his head, "What am I going to do with this boy. Any word on why?" My mom looked at Billy, "Leah was the one who told me about it. But Charlie is coming for dinner." Billy sighed once again, "Well he now obviously know's about Jacob and phasing. I just wish Jacob had waited. Ran it by me first."

I quietly slid off my bed to my feet. I sat at my desk, and pulled out my journal. I found a blank page, snatching a pen out of the drawer as well. I started an entry.

September 14th, 2006

HOME! I'm FINALLY HOME! I'd only been gone a few weeks, but I've had nothing. No clothes. Well I was offered some. They ended up in the river. No Food. Same with that as well. Some was offered to me. I shared it with the river animals. I did hunt and eat raw twice, yuck. No bed. Sleeping on the ground was tolerable. But the worst was, no shower. I had absolutely, NOTHING. It's so nice to be home. So there's a lot to fill in. I don't feel like really getting super detailed. Bella gave birth miraculously. She had a hybrid it's called. Half human, half vampire. Her name is Renesmee. She was transformed into a vampire. Jacob imprinted on her. Bella almost killed him when she found out. Seth got hurt trying to protect Jake. Bella broke Seth's shoulder. Luckily he's ok now. Jacob phased in front of Charlie this morning. I've decided I'm going to enroll in school for nursing. I've done a lot of thinking. This is something I truly want. There is an excelled course. I would take on more of a course load, but be done sooner. I've looked at Peninsula College, up in Port Angeles. I think it's perfect for me. I'll have to wait until January. I can work for a little bit. Maybe find a part time job in Forks.

Charlie pulled up, with Seth in the cruiser. "Charlie's here mom." I called out. She smiled and was off her chair. She waited anxiously by the front door. Seth came barreling through first. "MOM!" He picked her up hugging her tightly. "Oh I've missed you." My mom struggled, "Missed...you...too...can't...breath...Seth." He put her down grinning. Charlie was behind him. She kissed Charlie gently on the cheek. He turned red. Charlie nodded towards Seth. "I found him hiding out with Jacob at the Cullen's." She just smiled. Seth walked down the hallway to our bedrooms. My mom, and Charlie were in the kitchen with Billy. "I say we order pizza's." Charlie nodded along with Billy. My mom called and ordered five large pizza's. One cheese, one pepperoni, one pepper and onion, one sausage, one hawaiian.

"You know it's weird bing here." I looked up, to find Seth standing in my door way. I smiled, "But it's a nice weird." He nodded then handed me an envelope. "Carlisle asked me to give this too you. He didn't say what it was." I looked at it carefully. In such precise hand writing, was my name. It appeared to have been written with, a very expensive pen. "Hey, I'm going to grab a shower." Seth left me alone with this strange envelope. I studied it carefully, turning it over. It was sealed shut. Carlisle's writing was exquisite. I carefully opened in it.

Dear Leah,

I do hope you are well. First, and foremost I would like to thank you. Your efforts to keep us safe, was not an easy task. You really have had to prove yourself. I'm quite aware of the great courage it took, for you to leave Sam's pack. I've spoke to Jacob. He'd mentioned that you both had a plan. I understand since the Imprint occurred, the plan has now changed. I was made aware that you'd like to study the nursing field. I've spoken with Esme, and we'd like to pay for your schooling. I do mean for each semester. This would include books, and what ever else your course calls for. I would like to help you start next week. I made a few phone calls. Peninsula College in Port Angeles is available. They have an excellent Nursing Program. You could start Monday. You could take an excel course where you'd graduate sooner. It's more of a work load. You'd have a job at the hospital in Forks, if you want when you're done. Please think it over. Do not feel pressured. Let me know as soon as you've, made your decision. I will call the college and you'll be all set. I do look forward to speaking with you soon.

Carlisle

I read the letter several times. "Leah, dinner's here. Let's go." Charlie called out. I slowly folded the letter back up, and slid it back into the envelope. I folded the envelope in half and shoved it in my back pocket. They didn't bother calling Seth. His nose told him when it was time to eat. I grabbed my journal and stuffed it back into the desk drawer. I shut off my light, and headed out to eat.

The table was all set. Pizza boxes were being passed around. Charlie was passing a bottle of soda, when I took my seat. "It's nice to see you kids again." Charlie smiled looking at both of us. Seth had a piece of pizza hanging out of his mouth and looked up and grinned at Charlie. "So what have you been up to?" Seth had just devoured his slice of pizza and was working on his next. "Well," what was I going to say. I was going to be honest. "We've been keeping an eye on the Cullen territory." Charlie had taken a bite of pizza and stopped chewing. "Charlie chew, and breath." I smiled. "We were making sure everything was ok. It's time you know. This is a, "Need to know" thing." Charlie eyed me and took a sip of his soda. "How do you know about that? Did you talk to Jacob?" I shook my head, "Seth and I were there, when you both talked. We saw him phase on you." Charlie's color drained from his phase. "Eat up. We'll talk after dinner." So we quietly ate with everyday chatter. Charlie was tense, and I felt bad.

After dinner, I curled up in my dads chair. Billy wheeled himself in beside me. Charlie, and my mom, took the couch. Seth was on the floor, using his elbows to prop himself up. "So getting back to everything. You were there?" Charlie looked at me. "Yes I was. But so was Seth. We were hidden. I was in my wolf form. Seth was in his human form. We can phased like Jacob did. There are others as well. I know you don't want to hear it, but you have to. You're part of this family now." He smiled a little at that. "Well, do I dare ask who else? I looked at Billy, "The boys on the reservation, Jared, Quil, Embry, Colin, Brady, Paul, and Sam are able to phase. Sam is there Alpha. He has his own pack. Jacob has, Seth and Leah as part of his." I knew this was a lot for Charlie to take in. "Wow, ok." My mom gently rubbed Charlie's arm, "You'll understand eventually. Trust me." Charlie took a deep breath in, and slowly let it out. "I can't believe you've all known, this whole time." We all nodded. "Wow, ok different subject please."

We nodded and the room fell silent for a few moments. "Well, I met my granddaughter today. Re...Nessie. That's what Jacob calls her. I find it easier. She's quick as a whip." Seth chuckled, "That's for sure." I was lost in my own thoughts. It was like, my body sat there, and my mind had left. Could I really take up on his offer? I had to at least speak to him. But where? I hated being in that house. I couldn't go now. I decided I'd sleep on it. I forced a yawn and stood up, "I'm going to get some sleep. Goodnight everyone." I stepped over Seth, and hurried to my room, shutting the door behind me.

Once I was safely in my room, I turned on my bedside lamp. I rummaged through my drawers finding my black sweat pants. I grabbed a white t-shirt and slipped it on, then crawled into bed. I didn't feel as though it was wrong to take the offer. Then again, I didn't have an issue with Carlisle, it was his, kids. My thoughts took off. I needed a part time job. I'd need to put gas in my truck. I'd be commuting every day. There was the opportunity of moving to Port Angeles. But then I'd have to pay rent, and bills galore. I'd always be in school or working. I decided to just stay at home. It wouldn't kill me. Plus my mom would miss me too much, and vice versa. Seth poked his head in, "You awake?" I sighed, "Yeah thinking." Seth smiled, "Just do what makes you happy sis." He slipped back out and shut my door. I finally relaxed enough, and fell asleep.

I came around the next morning. Seth had left for school. He couldn't afford to miss anymore. Carlisle was able to makeup a nasty stomach flu. Gave Seth a doctors note, excusing him from school. Now he was all caught up on his work. My mom had to work a morning shift. So I decided, might as well head over to the Cullen's. I was up and showered in thirty minutes. I pulled on a pair of short khaki shorts, and a soft pink colored blouse. I slipped on some sandals, and ran the brush through my hair once. I took a deep breath, "Leah, just breath. It's going to be fine. This is a great opportunity."

I grabbed the envelope, my keys and wallet. I walked a little to fast through the house. I was out of the house, and in the truck in seconds. Once I got in, I rolled down the window. A warm gentle breeze blew through the. I could hear the wind chimes sing softly. "Thank you dad." I smiled and started the truck up, and headed to the big old house, hidden within the woods.

The drive over was quiet. I found the turn off the main road, and made my way to the house. My uneasiness just grew worse, and worse. I finally pulled up to the big white house. I gut the engine and climbed out. I grabbed the envelope and walked up on the front porch. Emmett and Rosalie were sitting out there talking quietly. "He's inside. Last I knew he was eating." Emmett smiled at me. A whisper of a, "Thanks." slipped through my lips. I opened the door and stepped in. I quietly shut the door behind me. "Hey. Everything ok?" Jacob said walking out. I nodded, "Can we talk?" He looked at me a little concerned, "Yeah. Bella I will be right back." We walked outside and went down by the river. I handed Jacob the envelope. He looked at it and pulled out the letter. He quietly read it. After he was done he folded it back up, slipped in the envelope, and handed it back. Seth gave it to me last night. I took all of last night and a little bit this morning to think about it. I have nothing against Carlisle. I just don't trust the others." He just nodded, "So I take it your here to talk to him." I nodded, "I wanted to talk with you first. I'm part of your pack. You're my alpha and," Jacob cut me off, "Leah, do what you need to do. If I need you, I'll find you. We've butted heads. I know you've gone through a lot. I have a much better understanding of you. I want to see you happy again also." I smiled, "Thanks, Alpha." He shook his head laughing, and it echoed through the area. "Alright. I need to go talk to him." We walked back to the house. I followed Jacob into the living room. I surveyed the scene in front of me. Renesmee was back in Jacob's arms within seconds. Edward and Bella sat together on the couch. The pixie one was curled up in a chair. Her mate was standing right behind her in a protective mode. His eyes caught me from the corner. He kept watching Bella. Carlisle was in the room. He slid in so quietly. Esme was behind him. "Hello Leah." His smile was so genuine. He didn't post a threat. "Hello ." I smiled. He chuckled, "Call me Carlisle." I heard a few snickers, Jacob's stood out. "Please come this way." He left the large room. I followed behind me. Esme smiled at me. I half smiled back. I was letting my guard down a little.

We stepped into his study. There were huge book cases. A beautiful pine desk stuck out. In front of his desk were, two hand crafter arm chairs, with black leather upholstery. Carlisle sat behind the desk. I took a seat quietly. The envelope still clenched in my hands, along with my keys. I felt like I was in the principals office. I was so nervous. The vampire scent burned my throat, but I remained quiet. I had to deal with it. My heart continued to race. I felt my stomach do flips. There was a lump in my throat. Carlisle looked at me, "You're not in any danger. I know how uncomfortable you are, being here. Thank you for coming." I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "I trust that you can control yourself. It's just hard." He nodded understanding. I took in the vast amount of books that were behind him. "So Seth gave me the letter last night. I've read it, and took time to think it over. I appreciate the offer but," Carlisle looked at me, "But what Leah?" I took a deep breath, "I won't be able to repay you." He chuckled, "Leah, you've already repaid us. You kept our family safe, while Bella was pregnant. That took a lot on your behalf. So please, take the gift. It's from Esme, and myself." I swallowed and looked at him. My mouth felt so dry. I clenched my fists trying to keep from tearing up. I could see now, why Jacob trusted Carlisle. "Alright, I will take the gift. Thank you." He smiled, "Excellent. Thank you again. So what school have you chosen?" I smiled, "I actually love the nursing program at Peninsula College. They have an accelerated program. I would get out in three years instead of four." He smiled, "Alright let me make a quick phone call."

I quietly sat there, as he made a phone call. He spoke quietly, and calmly, sometimes smiling. I'd catch him every once and while, and we make eye contact. I felt relaxed around him now. Now my next hurdle was to tell my mom. Before I knew it, Carlisle was done on the phone. "Well I pulled some strings. You'll start Monday morning at, 9:15am. Early I know. You'll be picking up your books before class. Your books are covered for every semester. So I suggest if you can get up there for 8:00am. If you need, I can drive you. I don't mind." He smiled. "I will let you know. Thank you again." He smiled, "It's our pleasure." We both stood up. He walked around his desk, and over to the door, opening it for me. "You'll do great Leah." He smiled and I stepped out, and he followed behind, shutting the study door. I quietly walked down the stairs. I heard some whispers, and ignored them. I went straight for the front door. I passed by Emmett and Rosalie and went straight for my truck.

Once I was in my truck, I had some privacy. I wasn't in direct line of sight. I took a minute to process what was going on. I laid my forehead against the steering wheel. A moment later someone was in the truck with me. A warm hand, sat on my shoulder. "Seth please," I was cut off, "Wrong person." I picked up my head to see Jacob sitting there, smiling. "I'm proud of you. You really handled yourself well." I smiled. "So Seth told me your plan. Well Carlisle and I were talking. He asked what our plans were, you know each of us. I told him your plan, his eyes lit up. I had no idea why." I smiled and felt my eyes tear up. "Leah Clearwater. So help me, if you cry." I smirked. Jacob put his hand on his chest. "Oh no. I'm going into shock. Leah's smiling, and be nice." I jokingly punched him in the arm, and he laughed. "Another thing. You'll be driving a lot, I'm assuming. Well, I'm coming by tomorrow. I want to make sure your truck, can handle the drive. I need to keep my pack safe." That made me feel good. "I'll see you tomorrow morning." He hopped out and I was back down the drive, and on my way home.

Once I was home, I was out of the truck and back inside. I sat down on the couch, setting the envelope down. My mom came around the corner smiling with some clothes. "Hello there. Where'd you disappear to?" I smiled, "I had to go talk with Carlisle Cullen." My mom raised an eyebrow. I just picked up the envelope, handing it to her. She quietly opened it and read it. "Wow. Leah this is amazing. What did you decide?" I smiled, "I accepted his offer. I'll be taking an accelerated course." I will finish in three years instead of four. She smiled, "Well that'd be awesome. So would you continue to live down here, or would you move to, Seattle, or Port Angeles?" I shrugged, "Not sure at the moment. I will see what happens, when I graduate." She smiled, "That was very generous of him." I agreed, "He wanted to repay me, for me staying there keeping them safe." She walked over and sat down on the edge of the couch. "Well, I was going to leave this on the, the table for you. This is something I've been holding onto for you." She handed me a small envelope. "What is this?" She just smiled, "Don't worry about it ok. I think you need to get yourself a wardrobe. You may want to pick up a few scrubs. Two, or three pairs. You decide." I raised an eyebrow, "Mom I don't need them for class yet." She laughed, "I was able to get you a job. Part-time. Two or three days a week. They're only four hour shifts. You'll be a nurses aid. You'll be helping, bath, move, and chart patients vitals, and such. The pay is $9.00 an hour. So it's not too bad." I was stunned, "Mom, thank you so much. I don't know what to say." She smiled and gently patted my leg, "Thank you is all I need. Go get yourself some clothes, young lady. You'll be working in different departments. So you'll get a feel for each, area the hospital offers. Well I hate to cut this short, but I'm meeting up with Charlie after work. I just came home to change, and grab a change of clothes." I looked at her, "Ah, staying the night at his house." She blushed, "Bagged mom. Go have fun. I will hold down the fort." She hugged me then stood up, "See you later. Call me if you need anything." She was out the door.

I sat there and then opened the envelope. There were a lot of twenty dollar bills. I counted it twice to make sure. Two thousand dollars was sitting in my hand. I quickly closed it. I couldn't take this money. Maybe a hundred dollars. I felt this knot in my stomach start. Then I realized there was a small note, scribbled on the back of the envelope. "

Leah,

Please do with the money, as you see fit. You can't repay me. Live your life.

Love

Mom

I stood up grabbing my keys from my pocket. I headed back out the door and climbed into my truck. I was on the road heading toward Port Angeles. I'd be there by 3:00pm. So that would give me, plenty of time to go shopping. Maybe grab a bite to eat. I turned on the radio and headed down the road.

My drive was quiet, but nice. The windows were down, and the wind blew through my hair. It felt so nice. I was happy, and I felt great. As I was pulling into the city my dad's favorite song, I Hope You Dance came on. I smiled. I listened to the lyrics carefully. A warm breeze blew through the truck, and my dad's picture fell from the visor onto my lap. I don't know how it happened, because it was held up there with a clip. I smiled and knew it was my dad, letting me know he was happy as well. I drover farther into the heart of downtown. I found a space and parked. I killed the engine and climbed out. I shoved my phone in my pocket. I locked up the truck and started out on my adventure.

My first priority was to find scrubs. I was in luck. I found a uniform store right away. I went in, and purchased three sets of scrubs. After I was done there I headed into a small, thrift shop. A thin girl stood behind the counter. She was pretty. She had short auburn choppy hair. She was wearing, jeans, flip flops, and a faded Rolling Stone's t-shirt. "Hi there. If you need any help let me know." She smiled, and I smiled back and looked around. I found several pairs of jeans. A few shirts, and a really cute dress. I made my way to the book section. As I poked through the girl came over, "Would you like me to take those for you. I can fold them up, and bag them. I will ring you up when you're done." I nodded, smiled, "That would be great. Thank you." I went back to looking.

I spotted a book on legends, and folklore. I pulled it out and started reading it. It was very interesting. It covered a little bit of everything. I was reading about Vampire's. Nothing like what I knew back home. There was a picture of Nosferatu, and Bella Lugosi. This is what vampires were supposed to look like. I chuckled a little to myself. I got so wrapped up, I'd not noticed there was someone behind me. I closed the book backing up, so I could get a look at the top shelves. I backed right up into him. "Whoa." a male voice said. I quickly turned around mortified, "I'm so sorry." Then I looked at him. He was amazing. A smile spread across his face. He had gorgeous light blue eyes. He had the beginnings of a beard growing. His smile, oh his smile. He was wearing light blue jeans. A black fitted t-shirt, and a grey zipper hoodie, with flip flops. I tried to hide my grin, I blushed deep red. He chuckled.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31 ~ Hi, I'm Hunter Emerson. It's nice to meet you.**

"I'm so sorry. I can't apologize enough. I was busy reading," I was lost. I just felt this connection to him. I just looked at him. The wall that was around my heart, crumbled as he stood before me. I felt the goosebumps rise all over my body. My mouth went dry. It was like electricity flew through the both of us. It felt like he was lightning, and I'd been struck by him. He laughed, "Yeah, I noticed. It must have been, very interesting." I smiled, "Folklore. I love reading up on it. Never get's old." He smiled, "That's cool. I love reading about local legends." I smiled, "I grew up on legends. We actually had a huge campfire, not too long ago. My friends dad, told us all these cool stories." I had sparked his interest, "I wish I was there to hear them." There was a quiet moment, while we both smiled at each other. "So are you from around here," I giggled, "Leah. No I'm from La Push." He perked up even more, "Quileute?" I nodded. "Those are some awesome legends." I bit my lip. He kept watching me. "So, Leah. Do you have a last name?" I chuckled, "Yes. Clearwater. Leah Clearwater." He smiled, "Well Leah Clearwater, I'm Hunter Emerson. It's a pleasure to meet you." I blushed again. He smirked a little trying to hide it. Great I had this guy laughing at me. "So what brought you up here?" he asked cocking his head to the side a little, raising an eyebrow. "Clothes shopping. Had to buy some scrub pants, and shirts. Checking out where I'm going to school." He nodded, "Nice, nice. Peninsula College I assume." I nodded eagerly, "Accelerated program for nursing." He smiled once again, "I'm in my sophomore year for Education. English teacher." I smiled, "That's great."

We walked up to the register together quietly. I set the book down, "This also please." The girl smiled and slipped it into the bags. She rung everything up, "Your total is 43.43." I pulled out my wallet and paid for my stuff. Hunter set his book down on the counter, "It's a really good book. I love it." The title said, The Polar Express. "It looks like a good read." He smiled, "It's a children's book, but it's," he searched for the right word, "magical." I looked at him. "You'll have to read it sometime, Leah." I smiled grabbing my bad, "Sounds good." Hunter smiled and paid for the book, and took his bag. "Well while you're here, I can show you where the school is. Then maybe I can show you, this quiet little restaurant. It'd be my treat." There was his grin again. "Let me put my bags in my truck." He took my bags from me, "Alright. I'm a gentlemen, and the least I could do is carry your bags." I smiled, "Go ahead if you must." We walked to my truck. I unlocked the passengers doors opening it for him. He put all the bags inside. I locked my truck back up. "So we still on for that dinner?" He smiled. "Sure let's go." He smiled.

We walked along chatting. He pointed out the school, and some cool little shops. "Here is the restaurant." Il ristorante dell'amore was written in script, on the outside of the building. Hunter grabbed the door opening it for me. I stepped in and looked around. It was so cute and cozy. It was lit softly with candles on every table. There were a few people in there. The music played softly in the background. The walls had exposed brick. I loved it. The hostess smiled grabbing two menus, and showed us to our seats. We were seated at a small table for two, set in the corner. She handed us our menu's and left us to decide. I looked over the menu quietly. I decided I would like the Chicken Fettucini Alfredo with Broccoli. The waitress came over and smiled, "Hello my name is Antoinette. I'll be your waitress. What can I start you off with, for drinks?" I looked at the her, "Hunter." The waitress, and Hunter both looked at me smirking. "No. I mean," I covered my face embarrassed. "Sorry I'm not a drink." he smirked. "How about two Cokes?" he asked smiling at me. I nodded yes, "Alright I will be right back with your drinks." Antoinette said, and turned to get our drinks. "So are you recovered now?" Hunter asked smiling. "Yeah. I was trying to be polite, and let you order first." He laughed, "Ladies always go first." I smiled back. I closed the menu after giving it one final look over. Antoinette was back with our drinks. "Are we ready to order?" I smiled, "I will have the, Chicken Fettucini Alfredo with Broccoli." She smiled and wrote it down, taking my menu. "And you sir?" She smiled asking Hunter. "I think I will have the same thing she is." He smiled at me, then the waitress and handed his menu back. "Alright thank you." She left us to be alone.

"So, do I get to know more about you?" He smiled again at me. I smiled in return. That smile was like the sun. I was like the butter, sitting in the sun. I just melted under it. "Like?" He pretended to think, "Family. Any kids. Pets? You never know what secrets you may have." I laughed and thought, Secrets? No. Well I do turn into a giant wolf. Vampires are real. I just smiled once again, "I have a younger brother. Seth. He's almost 14. His birthday is about two months. My mom's Sue. She's a nurse at the Forks hospital." He nodded acknowledging me. "So what about Dad? If you don't mind me asking." I felt the lump in my throat return. "He died. Actually six months ago. He had a heart attack." I had to cover my mouth, my eyes quickly wandered the room. The tears fell before I could stop them. "Leah I'm so sorry." Hunter reached across the table, and wiped the tears off my cheeks. "Hunter I'm so sorry. I feel so stupid. Here I am crying in front of you. We just met." He took my hand in his, "Leah, it's not stupid. He was your dad. He meant a lot to you. You were super close. I can tell." He looked at me with such love, and concern in his eyes. I felt safe. "Thank you." He just continued to smile, and held my hands. It was now my turn to ask questions, "So what about your family?" He didn't hesitate to answer, "Only child. My mom had trouble getting pregnant. I had tons of friends, and cousins. My parents are both gone sadly. My dad died in a car accident when I was 14. He was a fisherman. Fell asleep at the wheel one night, because he was exhausted. He hit an on coming car. Killed the other driver, and himself instantly. My mom died two days after I graduated high school. She had cancer. She at least saw me graduate, that's what mattered." He smiled.

The waitress came over with our plates, "Here you go." Hunter, and I both looked up at her. She carefully set down each of our plates in front of us. "The waitress goofed up our orders." He switched our plates, "There much better." I laughed because, we'd ordered the same thing. He had an excellent sense of humor. "There's that laugh I love." he smiled at me. I blushed, and started eating. The food was amazing. He grabbed a piece of fettucini, "Open your mouth and hold onto one end ok." I did as he asked. Well he put the other piece in his mouth. We both ate until our lips met. His soft lips against mine, were amazing. He slowly pulled away, and sat back down, "Always wanted to do that. I've never had a special girl, to try it with. Well you can't do it alone." I laughed, and continued eating. We finished our dinner, when the waitress returned, "Desert?" Hunter looked at me, and I shook my head. "Check is all we need please." he smiled and she set down the bill. He looked at it nonchalantly and left some cash on the table. He walked over and reached out for my hand. I stood up and took his, and we left

Once we were outside he wrapped and an arm around my waist, "So I was thinking we could share an ice cream? If that's ok with you?" I smiled and wrapped my arm around his waist. "That sounds lovely. You know this is sounding like a date." He smiled, "I wouldn't call it a date. Those are usually planned. I was call this," he smiled and stopped looking at me. "the day I met the girl I will one day marry." I blushed a deep red. "You seem quite sure of that." I replied. "We've only just met." I couldn't fight the smile that spread across my face. "Haven't you heard of love at first sight." I laughed, "Alright you got me there." He kissed me gently and we started walking again.

We were at the ice cream shop and looked over the menu, "Any idea what you would like?" I looked over the menu, "I think I want a small dish of black raspberry." Hunter stepped up to the counter, "How about a medium dish and we can share?" I nodded, "Alright." He ordered the ice cream and I waited to the side. "I've got the goods." Hunter smirked carrying the ice cream. I laughed as we walked back to my truck. I opened the back so we could sit on the bed. "Nice truck. Your dad's?" he asked. I nodded, "How could you tell?" He laughed hopping up on the back, "The way you lit up when you saw it." I smiled carefully climbing up beside him. He had some ice cream on the spoon and fed it to me. It was so romantic. We chatted a little about the weather. What to do around Port Angeles. He hopped down off the bed to throw out the dish that held the ice cream. I scooted carefully to the edge. Just as I was about to climb down, two hands were around my waist. I was carefully set down on the ground. "Thank you." I smiled. "My pleasure." he shut the back of my truck. "So do you have a curfew Ms. Clearwater?" I laughed, "What time is it?" He looked at his phone, "6:15pm." I couldn't believe it. I thought it would be later. "So a curfew?" he asked once again, pushing a stray hair behind my ear. I shook my head. He smiled, "So I'm going to go out on a limb and guess, you thought it was later. Well, when you lose track of time, it means your enjoying yourself. You forget about all your worries. I did lost track of time as well. I'm enjoying your company, immensely." That made me feel great.

He looked into my eyes. His soft blue eyes looking back into mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck. I wanted to stay in this moment forever. He leaned down to kiss me, and I met his lips with mine. He pulled away and kissed the top of my head, then looked at me, "So would you mind if I took us somewhere? We can go in your truck." I handed him the keys, "Really?" I nodded, "You know this area better than I do." He smiled and walked around opening my door, and I climbed in. He shut it behind me and climbed into the drivers side. "I want to show you a place I love to go." We drove for about ten minutes, when we arrived at a parking lot. We parked and were out of the truck, walking down a nice path. "I love this place." He sat beside me. We held hands. "I spend a lot is time here. It just helps me relax, and think. I also talk to my mom here. When she died, I spread her ashes in the ocean. She wanted to travel so badly. She did a lot I'd traveling on the computer. Google Street View really allowed her to escape. My dream was to send her to Paris." I could see how much he missed her. It made me realize how much I missed my dad. "I have a spot back in La Push like this. I go there when I need to think. When I'm lonely, and missing my dad." Hunter smiled, "Well maybe you'll have to show me this place. It sounds nice." I smiled, "I will. I promise." Our eyes met as we smiled, " I've not been this happy in a long time. I feel different with you. It's like you complete me." Hunter gently held my hand, "I feel the same way also." He pulled me close, wrapping an arm around be. I rested my head against his chest. The sun was setting, and I was cuddling with the sweetest man in the world. Fear set in. What if he left. We were perfect. He was the missing piece. I tried to keep tears back, but they fell. A small sniffle alerted Hunter. He moved and took my face in his hands, "What's wrong? Please talk to me." I took a deep breath. "Back when I was in high school. I was going steady. Like three years steady with my boyfriend. Well he left me. He disappeared for three weeks. Well he came back, and now is engaged to my cousin. Since it happened, I've hated him. He's wished I'd just disappear. Facing your ex-girlfriend at family functions isn't that easy. I've been nasty to him, and my cousin." Hunter looked at me, "You've had every right to be angry, and hurt. I promise I will never do that. I'm glad you've opened up to me." I smiled.

"So I guess I should tell you, a little more about me. Hmm... Well I love all the legends around this area. I've read all kinds of things. I am fascinated with shape-shifters, vampires, witches. All that stuff really intrigues me. I also love the story of the Banshee. She let's out a piercing cry. Only one person hears it. The person who hears it, has been forewarned of their upcoming death." I chuckled, "I remember hearing that story as a kid. I told Seth about it. One night he heard a wolf howl and screeched. Oh man. I got in so much trouble for that." Hunter and I laughed, "Wow. You really do pick on him. You have a great relationship with your family. I would love that. I would love to have a family, one with you." I smiled wide, color flushed to my cheeks. We sat quietly until the sun had set. "Well I hate for this night to end. I want you need to get home safely. So how about we exchange numbers. Tomorrow I can drive down, and you can show me your beach." he smiled and just gently lifted my hand kissing it. I smiled, "Alright sounds like a plan." I gave him my cell phone and home number. "Alright. I will call you in a little bit?" I nodded, "Would eleven o'clock be ok. I know I will be home by then for sure." He shook his head. Not a problem." We exchanged a deep passionate kiss. This kiss erupted a fire that surged through my veins. My heart raced and it wouldn't be slowed down. He held me tightly. I had my arms around his neck. There was no space in between our bodies. He slowly pulled away, kissing my forehead gently. My hands slid down meeting his, "Get home safely. I love you." We walked back to my truck. He waved me off, and I drove home.

The ride home was quiet. It was a bit lonely. There was this ache all over my body. It felt like there was a weight on my chest. I felt tears stream down my cheeks. My thoughts were swarming. What if he didn't call. What if I never saw him again. I finally pulled into the driveway. My mom's car wasn't there, neither was Charlie's. I noticed no lights were on either. I sighed. I was hoping if someone might be home. That way, I might be able to get my mind off worrying. Then again, how could I explain about this guy I just met. This guy who was mine. The guy I was meant to be with forever. Would they worry. Think it was something like Sam, and I had. That was different. That was young love. This was my true soul mate. I grabbed my bags. Then I realized, Hunter had forgotten his. I grabbed his bag as well. I walked inside and flipped on a light. I locked the front door, and brought my bags to my room. I grabbed my journal and headed back into the living room. I curled and opened to a blank page and started an entry.

September 15th, 2006

Where do I begin? These past three days have been good, and crazy. Jacob phased in front of Charlie. Well Charlie now knows about us. Then I received a letter from Carlisle. Well He'll pay for all my schooling. I'm all enrolled. He took care of everything. I know it seems crazy. I dislike them but, Carlisle is genuine. Tonight was amazing. I met someone. A very special someone. We went out to dinner. Shared an ice cream. Sat on the beach. It was so nice.

I stopped writing when my cell rang. "Hello." I answered. "Hey there cutie. Glad to see you made it home safely." I smiled wide, "Let me call you on my home phone. Nobody's home so I can talk." He quickly replied, "Alright babe." He hung up. I called him back. "Well that was fast. Miss me?" He asked chuckling. "Yes I do. You lighten my mood. By the way, you left your book in my truck." I could tell he was smiling. "Well now. I guess I will have to come get it. Tomorrow ok?" I was beaming, "Tomorrow would be perfect. I can give you my address now." I heard movement, "Alright, I've got a pen, and paper." I told him the address. "Alright. I would like to spend another day with you. You need to get some sleep. I will see you tomorrow. Buenos noches mi amor." He hung up. I hunt the phone up and returned to writing.

Well he just called me. Oh I'm being so vague on everything. Well as I said, Carlisle is paying for my schooling. I actually felt bad how I treated Carlisle, and Esme. I still am reluctant to trust the others. Anyways today was absolutely amazing. I went shopping in Port Angeles. Well I bumped into this guy named Hunter Emerson. He's so sweet. He took he out for dinner. He reenacted the spaghetti scene from, Lady and the Tramp. We kissed. It was so romantic. Then we held hands. He's my imprint. I'm not sure how to tell him. I didn't believe you could feel that connection to the one. It's amazing. Well time for me to turn in. Good night.

I got up and shut off the light, and headed into my room. I put my journal away and climbed into bed. I fell asleep with such ease that night. I had several dreams. One was of Hunter, and I eloping. Crazy I know. It was perfect timing for us. Then I dreamt of seeing myself with kids. My alarm pulled me out of my sleepy daze. I felt around shutting it off. "Hey Jacob's already here. He started on the truck. Oh, and some guy named, Hunter called. He said he'll be here at 11:30." Seth left and went back out to Jake. I pulled my face out of the pillow groaning. The alarm read 8:45am. I threw off the covers and took my time getting ready. I rummaged through the clothes I just bought. I pulled out, a simple brown sleeveless, knee length dress. I decided on a pair or earrings, and then slid my sandals on. I ran my fingers through my hair one last time.

I stopped in the kitchen grabbing an apple, then walked outside. Jacob, along with Seth, were under the hood of the truck. I could hear them talking. I heard metal clinking. "Well all the fluids are topped off. I need to do an oil change. If you want to learn, I'll show you. I assume you'll get this next." Seth laughed, "You're probably right. But hey it's a mode of transportation." Jacob agreed. I walked over leaning against the hood of Jake's Rabbit. Jacob pulled his head out, "Whoa. You look nice." I laughed, "Good morning to you as well. Thanks for doing this for me." Seth pulled his head out also. "Wow sis. You clean up nicely." I shook my head chuckling. The boys went back to working on the car. I headed back inside the house. I sat quietly waiting on the couch. I picked up the bag with Hunter's book. Carefully I read it. I could see why he loved it. I just looked around the living room. I looked at the pictures on the walls. I was just trying to stay calm. The excitement coursed through my veins like a race track. I had goosebumps, and a huge smile. A little while later, the sound of a car pulling into the driveway, had me on my feet. I was outside in a flash.

Hunter was just climbing out of his car. I walked over to him smiling. "Hello there beautiful." He smiled wrapping his arms around my waist. He kissed me so gently. It felt like electricity coursed through our lips. This connection was amazing. "So did you miss me?" He smirked, and I nodded sheepishly. "So I'm your's all weekend, if you'd like. I have no other plans." This made my heart swell. "Well I could drive up your way tomorrow if you'd like." He pretended to think about, "Hmm, how about we hang down here tomorrow. We can check out the amazing forests." I liked this idea of his, except for the vampires, and the wolves. I didn't think they'd be out during the day. So we'd be ok until about dusk. He spotted Jake, and Seth watching us, "You know we have a small audience." I quickly whipped around and blushed. "Oh yeah. Hunter this is Jacob. He's a family friend. This is Seth, the famous little brother." Hunter extended his hand, shaking both of theirs. "I'm Hunter Emerson. I'm from Port Angeles." Jake nodded grinning, I"m also Leah's amazing mechanic." Hunter laughed, "Good to know. I may borrow you, if I need help." Seth introduced himself, "I"m Leah's angel of a brother. I'm also her conscious." I shook my head. "You two stay out of trouble. I'm going out for the day. See you later." Hunter walked me around to the passengers side, and opened my door for me. "So I was thinking we'd check out Forks. If that's ok with you." I smiled, "That's fine with me. We can grab lunch, walk around a little bit. Check out some shops." He shut my door and walked around climbing in the drivers side. Once we were on the road, he offered his hand for me to hold. I smiled enjoying the moment. "So are you nervous about starting monday?" He smiled. I nodded, "Yeah. I've gotta pick up my books when I get there." He grinned, "Well I will have them all together. I work there part time. I can show you around to your classes." I was so glad I had someone to help me around the campus. "Your a life saver." He smiled, "I could let you get lost." I chuckled and relaxed.

It was pleasant riding in the car with him. He opened the windows, and the moon roof. "So, you're into Eco Friendly cars?" Hunter laughed, "Yeah. But it's such an awesome car." I smiled, "I wish I didn't have that huge truck that I have to drive. I try to recycle, and clean up trash whenever I see it." He smiled, "Now see there. You're contributing by helping in other ways. We can't always help what kind of car we have." I smiled, "Well once I save up some money. I plan to give he truck to Seth. He'll need something soon." We just pulled into downtown Forks. He the parked in front of Charlie's favorite diner. "This place any good?" he asked opening his door. "Yeah, my mom's boyfriend comes here all the time." That sold him on it. He climbed out and walked around opening my door, offering me his hand to help me out. "Thank you." I smiled. "Anything for my lady." he gave me that grin.

We walked inside and found a booth. Rosie was working once again. "Hello kids. Today's special is, Tuna Melt with homemade Creamy Tomato Soup." I smiled, "I think I'll have the special. May I have a Coke with my lunch." Rosie smiled, "Sure. Anything for the Chief's daughter." Hunter's head snapped up looking directly at me. Rosie looked at him, "Do you need a minute hun?" she smiled showing her white teeth, which seemed extremely bright, compared to her deep red lipstick. "Uh, no ma'am. I will have the special as well. May I have an ice yea." Rosie smiled taking the menu's, "Sure thing kids. Give me about ten minutes." she turned and walked behind the counter.

Hunter looked at me, "Chief's daughter? I'm just a little curious but, is there something I should know?" I chuckled, Charlie Swan, he's the chief of police, here in Forks. Well he and my mom are dating. Thins are moving quickly, but serious. Well Charlie is like a dad. He see's Seth, and I as his own." Hunter breathed a sigh of relief, "Oh, ok. So he doesn't have any kids?" The devil on my left shoulder stabbed me with it's pitch fork. "He has a daughter, Bella Sw...Cullen. Sorry. She just got married a little over a month ago. I guess Charlie, and Bella's mom married really young. It didn't work out, so they divorced." Hunter just rested his arms on the table listening. "Cool. So how old is your, "step-sister?" I shook my head, "Not any relation to me. My mom hasn't re-married. Seth would like to think of her as one. She and I don't quite see, eye to eye." I shrugged. "That kind of stinks." I smiled faintly, "She and Jacob used to be super close. Then once she got married, that changed." Before he could ask anymore questions, Rosie returned with our drinks, plates, and bowls. She placed the silver wear on the table. It was carefully wrapped up in napkins. She reached into her apron pocket and pulled out two straws. "You kids holler if you need anything." she returned to behind the counter, and let us be.

"So it seems as though, there's tension between, you and, Bella." I couldn't tell him the whole truth. I could tell him some. "There's a lot behind it. I blame her for a lot. I know I shouldn't, but I do. She hurt Jacob, really bad. He's happy now, but still. She's just selfish. She stomped on his heart, dragged it behind her, then left it in the rain. I see her like Sam. I think that's why I dislike her so much. There's other things as well. She has everything now." I had told him some of the truth. But he was on to me. "Leah, is there something you're not telling me. I won't judge you. Just talk to me. I won't run away." he slid his hand across to mine, gently he rubbed my knuckles. I took a deep breath, "I want to give you two very important things to me. I can only give you one of those. I gave Sam, two of them, my heart and well," my eyes fixed on the table. Hunter got up and gently sat beside me. His warm arm wrapped around me. "I understand. I'm so sorry." I just laid my head against his chest, "That's not all of it." I looked up at, "I had a pregnancy scare. Well I wasn't. But he disappeared for three weeks. Then when he came back he was different. That's when we broke up." Hunter hugged me gently, "Leah I'm so glad you were honest. I'm sorry that happened. I'm not like Sam, nor would I ever be. Things happen in life we can't understand. It may be too soon to say this but, I love you. There's something about you. We fit so perfectly. I can't quite put my finger on it. The way you look at me. You seem so comfortable." I was comfortable. I didn't want this day to end. We quietly finished eating our lunch.

"Leah that was delicious. So what should we do next?" I smiled, "There are some shops around. There is a book store if you'd like to check it out. Forks is kind of small. There's the beach but," I watched Hunter's eyes light up. "Really? That sounds like so much fun. I have a pair of shorts with me I could wear. We could stop so you could change. I want to check out the shop first, if that's alright?" I smiled, "Let's go then." He left some money on the table, and offered me his hand. I took it quietly smiling, and walked out with him.

He held my hand as we walked, "I could see myself living here. It's quiet, and nice." I smiled, "I grew up here. So if I want any privacy, I don't say a word ." He laughed, "Yeah. I could see how that might be a problem." I smiled and saw a small jewelry shop. I think I want to check this place out real quick." Hunter smiled opening the door for me. I stepped in and walked over to the jewelry counter. I found this really pretty pair of tear drop turquoise earrings. I decided to buy them, along with a turquoise ring. I paid for my stuff and looked around at the clothing section. Hunter came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, "Are you all set?" I smiled, "Yes I am. Shall we go to the beach now?" He smiled, "Sounds perfect." he took my hand once again, and thanked the shop worker.

We walked along back to his car. He unlocked the doors, and opened my door for me. I climbed in, and he shut the door. I was so comfortable. I truly had found love. I had imprinted. He climbed in and we were on our way to La Push. I leaned against Hunters shoulder. He moved his arm carefully wrapping it around my shoulder. We rode along quietly while the music played softly in the background. We pulled into my driveway and he parked. I hopped out and, grabbed my bag before he could open my door. I was walking around to his side. "Hey not fair. A gentlemen opens the door." I laughed, "I was faster." He climbed out and grabbed his shorts out of the backseat. We walked inside to find Seth sprawled out on the couch. We walked passed him. I showed Hunter to the bathroom. "I will be out in a minute." he smiled and kissed me on the cheek. I went to my room and shut the door. I rummaged through my drawers and pulled out my bikini. I quietly slipped out of my clothes and carefully hung my dress back up. I grabbed a two towels, and pulled on a pair of shorts. I slipped only flip flops and walked out to the living room. Seth looked up at me, "Jake said your truck is all set. Mom called, family dinner here tonight. She'd like you to come. Charlie will be here, along with Billy." I nodded, "Alright. I'm going swimming with Hunter." Hunter came up behind me quietly, "Ready?" I smiled and said bye to Seth. We headed outside. Hunter was wearing a pair of Khaki colored cargo shorts. He wasn't wearing a shirt. He had a very nice body. He kept in shape. We walked quietly to the beach. I laid down my towel, and kicked off my flip flops.

I stood closing my eyes, enjoying what little bit of summer was left here. Hunter came behind me wrapping his arms around my waist. He gently rested his chin on my shoulder. "I can see why you like it down here. This is absolutely beautiful." I smiled I didn't want him to let go. I gently placed my hands on top of his, "Don't let go, please." He kissed me gently on my shoulder, "I won't ever let go." We stood there for a little bit just watching he waves. We just enjoyed each others company. "Babe lets go swimming." He slowly released me from his arms. He took my hand and we headed into the water.

We swam out a ways, and gently rode on the waves. He swam over to me smiling. I swam over to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him with such passion. His fingers were untwined in my hair. The kisses seemed to last forever. He slowly pulled away, and held my face in his hands, "I love you so much. You've made this day so far, amazing. Yesterday as well. I'm glad I've met you." My heart slowly melted. We splashed around in the water for a while. We finally headed back to the shore. We laid down on our towels. He reached over and held my hands. "So what are your hopes, and dreams for the future?" Hunter asked. "Well I plan on graduating, and becoming a registered nurse. I would like to get married, and have a house. I would love to have children but," That's when Hunter propped himself up on his elbow, "But? You can talk to me. Please be honest." The pleading look in his eyes killed me. "Well, they think I had an early menopause. But if I can relax, I may be able to, well start cycles. There's no promise." I gave a half hearted smile. He held my hand in a firm, loving grip. "If your meant to have children you will, in some way. Trust me in that." I looked at him, trying to keep the tears back. "I will support you no matter what. If it turns out were friends, lovers, in a relationship, or of we get marred. I will always support your decisions." I wanted to pinch myself. I couldn't really have this guy, all to myself. He just looked into my eyes. I had found true love. I had not imprinted, but I found my soul mate.

We laid there for a little bit chatting. "So are we going to graduate in the same class? I know with my accelerated course, I will be done in three years." Hunter thought about it, "It may be very possible. That would be amazing. If we started our new lives together like that." I smiled, "So will you be working while going to school as well?" He nodded, "Yeah. School book store. Plus after school program for kids. Tutoring here and there." I smiled, "Busy schedule huh. In going to be working three or four shifts, at the hospital in Forks. They're only four hour shifts. It gives me some experience. A little money in my pocket. It looks good on my resume. I'm not sure where I will work after I graduate, maybe Port Angeles, maybe Forks. I just don't want a quiet job." Hunter nodded, " I hope to teach in Port Angeles. It's where I grew up. It's home for me." I smiled, "I understand that." I sat up stretching looking at the sky. "We should head back and get showered. My mom wants a family dinner. That includes you. I'd like you to meet them. We seem to be hitting it off." I stood up grabbing my towel, shaking it off. Hunter grabbed his towel, "That we do." We held hands walking back to the house. My mom still wasn't home yet. It was only 4:00pm.

"Hunter shower first. I will take one after you." He smiled, "Will do ma'am." he pretended to salute me and I laughed. My mom called and I grabbed the phone, "Hello." My mom's happy voice was on the other end. I need you to preheat the oven to 375. I will be there in about 30 minutes. We're having lasagna. Charlie is coming with me. See you soon." she hung up. I called out to Seth asking him to turn on the oven, which he did. Hunter poked his head in my room, "Showers all yours babe." he smiled and went out to living room with Seth. I showered, and was dressed, when my mom pulled in the driveway.

I smiled when I walked out seeing Hunter. He and Seth were talking and, laughing. "She's crazy. Watch out. When she doesn't have enough sleep, she's mean." I made a face at Seth. Hunter just laughed, "I like this kid. Where'd you find him?" I smirked, "My mom went to the pet store. They were all out of puppies, so she brought him home instead." Both of them burst out laughing, "She's got a sense of humor." Hunter commented. Seth nodded, "Sadly yeah. Usually at my expense though." I had to smiled at that. Then I heard the front door open.

Hunter stood by my side holding my hand. My palms were sweating. For some reason I felt like, I was confessing to a murder. "Leah, Seth. We're here." She and Charlie walked in shutting the door. "Geez Leah it's only mom and, Charlie. He's not carrying his gun. Hunter will be fine." Hunter laughed, "Hello Mrs. Clearwater, and Chief Swan. I'm Hunter Emerson. I've been accompanying Leah, the past two days. I must say she's a lovely young woman." Charlie along with my mom both smiled. I was teetering between nervous, and letting out a nervous burst of idiot laughter. "Well Hunter nice to meet you. Glad she's found a nice friend." Charlie sat down beside Seth. My mom smiled, "It's a pleasure to meet you. I do hope you're staying for dinner?" He nodded, "Yes ma'am. Would you like some help? I love to cook." She smiled, "I'd love that. The lasagna just needs to be put in the oven. I need to cut up stuff for the salad. I need to wash the veggies as well." Hunter smiled, "Put me to work." The two of them walked out into kitchen. I grabbed everything and set the table. I sat down in the living room on the love seat, and Charlie smiled at me. His attention was back on the television.

After the salad was all set Hunter sat beside me, pulling me close to him, "Hey beautiful." I smiled. My mom sat down beside Charlie. "So Hunter told me you both hit it off. I'm so glad you've made a friend at school." I blushed, and she smiled. I closed my eyes curling up against Hunter. He held me a little tighter. Seth's sniffing seemed so loud in my head, "Dinners ready. Let's go. Thirty seconds later the timer on the oven went off. "That kid always knows when foods done." Charlie remarked. We got up and headed out to the table. Hunter helped my mom serve dinner. Charlie whispered to me, "I like this guy. Be smart to keep him around." I smiled, "Thanks Charlie." Dinner was served, and Hunter took a seat beside me. There was the typical dinner chatter. Hunter was asked about what year he was in college, what was his major, family, and all that fun stuff. My mom almost seemed excited I met him. Seth smiled and gave me a thumbs up. It felt great. Dinner ended quietly. Once again Hunter helped my mom. Then I realized he doesn't have someone to do this with. I smiled knowing he was happy. Desert was coffee with, brownies, and vanilla ice cream. We all laughed and talked. I excused myself to freshen up. Hunter, and my mom spoke, "I've not seen Leah this happy in a long time. She's gone through a lot. You make her smile. She deserves to be happy." Hunter smiled, "She's an amazing girl. I know we just met, but she is like the missing piece to my puzzle. I can't wait to spend more time with her." My mom smiled. "Just take good care of her. She's like a daughter to me." Charlie smiled. "I sure will. She mean's the world to me." I came back out and he smiled up at me, "Hello beautiful." I smiled, "Come with me please." He smiled taking my hand.

I led him outside, "I thought we could watch the sunset. It's really pretty." He smiled and took my hand, "Well that's good, because I want to talk with you." My heart started racing. It worried me when anyone said, they want to talk to me. It's like a horrible feeling. It can be something great someone's going to tell you. But as a kid, I always thought the worst. We walked along and sat down in the sand. He sat behind me, and pulled me back. His arms wrapped around my chest, cradling me. "You're warm huh." He chuckled. My thoughts started racing. He noticed my warmth. He's never mentioned anything about it before. Oh great. How would I explain this. I took a deep breath in, and slowly let it out. "Are you ok?" He leaned to the side a little, looking at me. "Yeah. Sorry." He hugged me carefully, "Don't ever be sorry. I want you to talk to me. Be comfortable. So tell me what's going on. I can tell something's bothering you now." I swallowed and spoke softly, "I get nervous when anyone says, they've gotta talk to me. It's like this automatic knot forms in my stomach. Then there's a lump in my throat. I start trying to think of what I did." Hunter laughed, "You're not in any trouble. I wanted to give you something." I felt him slide something cool into my hand. "You've truly have won my heart. I wanted to give you something, that represented it." I looked at this beautiful carved, wooden heart necklace. It want hanging form a piece of suede. I smiled, "Hunter I love it." He hugged me again, "Good I'm glad. So the question is, will you be my girlfriend. I know we've only known each other for about two days," I turned and cut him off by gently kissing his lips. "I want to be with you. I love you. Hunter you make me feel whole again." He smiled, "You do the same to me as well." I leaned back against him. We watched the waves quietly. Tonight was perfect. I must have dozed off in his arms. He gently roused me, "Babe. It's getting a little cool out here. You're tired. I want to get you home." I yawned, "Sorry. What time is it?" The sky was dark. "It's 10:30pm. I didn't want to move so I let you rest." I smiled and slowly got to my feet. "So are you driving home?" I looked at him as he was standing up, taking my hands once again. "I'm going to spend the night at the motel in town. The Quileute Oceanside Resort. I was thinking I'd check out tomorrow night. Class monday of course." I smiled, "You'll be right down the street." He laughed, "Yes. I always bring extra clothes. So I'm all set for tomorrow. Maybe you can come get me. I will call you once I'm checked in." He smiled and walked me back to the house. He wrapped his hands around my waist. I wrapped my arms around His neck. We shared the most intimate kiss. He slowly pulled away, and smiled at me, "I will call you in a little bit. I love you Leah." I smiled back, "I love you Hunter." I turned and walked inside.

Charlie, and my mom were sitting at the table drinking coffee, and playing cards. "Hi hun. Did Hunter drive home?." I shook my head, "He's just staying down the street. He's going to drive home tomorrow. I'm going to my room. I'll see you later." She smiled, "Tomorrow Charlie's going to the Cullen's. I'm going to go with him. You'll be on your own." I shrugged, "Have fun with that." I headed for my room and shut the door. I changed into pjs and laid down on my bed. The phone rang once when I answered it, "Hello." His warm comforting voice was on the other end, "I'm all checked in. I want you to get some sleep. I will see you tomorrow. I love you, sweet dreams." I smiled, "I love you to babe. Goodnight." I hung up, and fell asleep quickly.

There was a knock on the front door. Seth answered the door, "Hey man. What's up?" Seth gave Hunter a high five. "Leah?" Hunter asked stepping in shutting the door. "She's still asleep. My mom made a huge breakfast if you'd like some. She and, Charlie already left." Hunter strolled into the kitchen and made himself a plate. "Anywhere fun?" Seth laughed, "They went to see Charlie's daughter, and granddaughter." Hunter was a bit puzzled, "Wow. He has a granddaughter. I knew she was married." Seth grinned like a dope, "Yeah they got married back in August. Then a kid came in the picture." Hunter raised an eyebrow. "It's a long story." Seth laughed. Hunter nodded, "Sounds like it." he laughed. "I'm heading out myself. Make yourself at home." Seth headed out.

I slowly came around stretching. I smelled food and headed for the kitchen. Hunter was sitting at the table, reading the newspaper. "How long have you been there?" I asked grabbing my plate of food. "A little while. Seth just took off. I guess Charlie, and your mom went to see his granddaughter." I nodded sitting beside him. "So I was wondering, if maybe you'd like to grab lunch out. Then maybe come back here, and watch a movie. I saw you have one of my favorites." I smiled eating. He got up grabbing, Ferris Buellers Day Off. I nodded swallowing my food. "Love that movie." He smiled, "Good. So what I we got lunch out, and brought it back here? Sound like a plan?" I nodded, "Sounds great." he touched my hand and looked at me, "Babe are you alright? Your skin feels like its on fire." Great he picked up on it. Now this poor guy is really concerned about me. How do I explain to him, what's really going on?

I pushed my plate away,"We need to talk. Really talk." Hunter moved as close to me as possible, not letting go of my hands. "Ok, let's talk please baby. You've got me really worried." I took a deep breath in and let it out. "Remember when we met, you talked about, er, shape-shifters. You said you really loved Folklore. What if it wasn't all Folklore?" Hunter looked at me as he mulled it over, "What are you saying, like shape-shifters are real? That'd be interesting." I took another deep breathe, "Well in the Quileute heritage, those so called legends, well they're real." Hunter looked at me trying to fight back a smirk, "Babe. That's folklore. They're supposedly true stories that are passed down over the years." I sighed and looked at him, "Hunter I'm not kidding. I turn into a giant wolf. So does Seth. There are others on the reservation as well. Jacob is one as well. I'm his pack. He's my alpha." Hunter looked at me up and down, "Leah, I love you but, I'm having trouble believing this." I sighed, "If I show you, and you run away, I'll understand. But if you choose to stay we need to talk." He looked at me, "What else do we need to talk about?" he smiled rubbing my hands with his thumbs. I took a deep breath. I went pale. I felt myself start to shake nervously, Hunter was really concerned, "Leah breathe please. You're really worrying me. I held his hands trying to breath. That's when it all went black.

I was out cold. Seth came back, "Hey I need help." Hunter called out. Seth walked out to find Hunter on the floor beside me. "What happened? You're lucky I came back. I forgot my wallet." Hunter spoke nervously, "We were talking about shape-shifters. She said that, you, her and others turn into wolves. I said I didn't believe it. She said she'd show me. Then she said she had to tell me something else. She went pale and got shaky and well." Seth nodded, "Well that could be a variety of things. Let's get something to cool her off with." Seth grabbed and ice pack and wrapped it in a towel slipping it under my neck. Then he grabbed a towel soaking it in water and put it on my forehead. "I can call my mom. She could be here in like 30 minutes maybe less." Hunter was really worried, "Help me move her to her bed. I know basic first aid." Seth nodded and Hunter picked me up. They put the washcloth back on my face, and the ice pack on the back of my neck, once I was laying on my bed.

About 20 minutes passed since everything happened. I slowly came around. Someone was holding my hand, and gently touching my cheek. "Hey beautiful. Gave me quite a scare there. Your brother helped me get you to your bed. Are you feeling better?" I looked around slowly nodding, "Yeah. I'm sorry." I went to sit up, Hunter was stopping me, "Relax. I'm not going anywhere. So you needed to talk to me. Well I'm not leaving so lets talk." I nodded breathing slowly, "I told you about Sam leaving me. Well he imprinted on my cousin. See once you phase, well turn wolf. when you find your mate, you imprint. It's like knowing they're the right one for you. Well she was the one for him obviously. I took it so badly. I held a grudge. The other pack members have imprinted. There are only four out of ten that haven't. I'm one of those six. I imprinted on you." He leaned down kissing me deeply, then slowly pulled away. He held my hand, "For me I just felt a connection to you. I'm glad we found each other. I'm glad your being honest with me. I think we should hang around the house. Let's take it easy. We can watch a movie, or tv. I want to know more." I smiled, and he slowly helped me sit up.

We curled up on the couch and flipped on the tv. "I love this show." It was Law & Order: SVU. "I do too. They usually show it all day. I think I've seen every episode." He held me closely, "Well we can watch it all day." I smiled, "So I need to tell you a few more things." Hunter smiled, "I'm all ears." I took a deep breath, "Well when I phased. I stopped having menstrual cycles. As long as I phase, I don't have periods. I age at a much slower rate. I may be able to have a menstrual cycle. I'd have to stop phasing for a long tome. I'm not sure if I could have kids." He laced his fingers with mine, "They're are various ways to have children. As long as I'm with you, that's all that matters." We spent the rest of the day together quietly. The clock read 7:30pm. Hunter kissed the top of my head, "Babe, I need to head home. I will text you when I get in. I walked with him, out to his car. He held me for a few minutes, "I love you. Thank you for being honest with me. I will see you tomorrow." We kissed then he climbed in his car, and took off down the road. I went back inside.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32 ~ Things are flowing smoothly. This is what I needed.**

The week had passed too quickly. Between school and work, I was living off of coffee. I had just pulled into the driveway. Charlie was over parked behind my mom's car. I shut off my truck, and let my head fall back. I was so tired at this point. I just wanted to rest my eyes for a few minutes. Instead of resting I dozed off. Charlie's cruiser sat in the driveway behind my mom's car. I was startled awake by Charlie knocking on my window. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. He opened the door. "Hey kid. You alright?" I yawned and covered my mouth. I reached over grabbing my backpack. "I'm just really tired. I'm supposed to work 7pm until 11pm tonight." Charlie nodded, "Well it's 5:30 p.m now." My eyes went wide, "You're kidding. I pulled in my watch said, 4:45 p.m." Charlie chuckled, "Well your mom thought she heard your truck. When you didn't come in, I came to check." I climbed out sliding my backpack over my shoulder, and shut the door. We both walked inside. My mom looked up, "How long have you been home?" I yawned again, "Since 4:45 p.m. I fell asleep in the truck. I need to eat something quickly. Maybe do a little homework, then head out." My mom nodded, "There's a sandwich in the fridge for you." I smiled and grabbed it and then went to my room.

I sat down and devoured the sandwich and got to work on my homework. I had to leave no later than 6:00 p.m to get to work on time. It took me without any traffic, or bad weather conditions, 40 minutes to get to work. The house phone rang and I didn't even pay attention to it. "Leah phone." I reached over and picked up. My mom hung up. "Hey beautiful. So tomorrow what time should I come?" I yawned again, "Oh excuse me. How about 11am? If that's not too early." Hunter smiled, "Sounds good. Are you alright?" I sighed and leaned back in my chair, "Yeah. I'm tired. I dozed off in my truck in the driveway. It was off thankfully. I was out cold for about 45 minutes until Charlie woke me up." Hunter spoke softly, "Can you call out? You're exhausted." I sighed, "It's only a four hour shift. I have the whole weekend off. I don't have to work again until Tuesday." Hunter listened, "Well then do I have you for the whole weekend again?" I laughed, "Of course you do. I may just need a nap." He laughed, "That's fine. We can take a nap together." I smiled, "Well Mr. Emerson, I need to finish this paper, then get ready for work. I will call you tonight when I get home. I should be home by midnight." Hunter smiled, "Alright sounds good. Be safe. I love you." I blushed, "I love you too. Talk later." I hung up. I went back to my homework. I just finished one assignment. I rolled my eyes. It was 5:50 p.m. I quickly changed and grabbed my keys, and backpack and took off out the door.

"Wow, not even a good bye." Charlie commented. "Yeah. It's bothering me a little. She's so tired. She's busting her butt at school. She's up until all different hours doing homework. Then she's working 3 days a week. I know they're short shifts but it's a lot on her. She leaves here by 5:00 a.m and doesn't get home until almost 5:00pm. Her first class is 7am." Charlie gently rubbed my mom's shoulder holding her, "Well she's a big girl Sue. She has to decide what's right for her. Maybe Hunter will say something to her. Maybe he'll notice it also." My mom nodded, "I just thought the job would be ok with her. I didn't expect her to be so busy. I feel like I'm partially to blame. I didn't tell her she had to work. I just thought she might like the experience." Charlie sighed, "Listen don't blame yourself at all. Talk to her calmly. Express your concerns. Maybe she can cut it down to one evening shift. Only work four hours. It still gives her a little money." My mom nodded gently laying her head on Charlie's shoulder.

I pulled into the hospital parking lot at 6:45 p.m It was just starting to rain. Great people drive stupidly, and that's when accidents happen. I walked in and put my bag in my locker. Tonight I was the emergency room. I worked where ever I was needed. I signed in and was put to work. It was quiet right now. I went through and stocked all the rooms. Everything was all set. I sat down and worked on some charts. I organized some paperwork that needed to be taken care of. I ran a few things to the lab. It was quiet. The night ticked by it was finally time to head home. I signed out and grabbed my bag, and was out the door. I ran to my truck, I looked like I'd just taken a shower because of the rain. I started my truck and was on my way home. The visibility was horrible. I took my time. As I drove along the music played softly in the background. I didn't pay much attention to it. The rain kept pouring down. I just prayed to get home safely. I was coming around one of the curves on highway 101 on my way back home. Out of nowhere this car came flying around and just missed hitting me head on. I was able to swerve and went off on the side. They kept going. A bunch of kids screwing around with an out of state plate. I sat there for a few minutes trying to collect myself. My watch was reading 11:45 p.m already. The rain had slowed my drive home considerably. I slowly pulled back onto the road and made it home safely. I grabbed my bag and quickly got inside. Charlie, and my mom were already in bed. Seth was in his room listening to music. I locked the front door, and went to my room. I shut my door and flipped on my bedside light. I changed out of my clothes, and put on sweat pants, and a t-shirt.

I crawled onto my bed. The clock was reading 12:30 a.m. I grabbed the phone and dialed Hunter's number. A very alarmed Hunter answered, "Hello, Leah!" I yawned, "Yeah babe it's me. I'm home. I'm sorry I'm later than I expected." He let out a sigh of relief, "I was worried about you. It's pouring rain here. I tried your cell but it was off." I cringed, "Yeah. I was coming around a corner and this idiot, came around way to fast. I quickly moved, and was on the shoulder of the road. I'm safe. It was a bunch of kids." Hunter tensed up, "You're safe though right. They didn't make contact." I sighed, "No contact. Just scared the hell out of me." The sigh of relief was loud on his end, "Alright babe. Listen get some sleep. I will be down there sometime in the morning. I love you, and sweet dreams." I smiled, "Love you too." I hung up. I turned off my light and fell into a deep sleep.

My mom woke up the next morning and made breakfast. Hunter had already shown up. He gently knocked on the door, then walked inside, "Hello? Anyone home?" My mom smiled and called out, "Kitchen Hunter." He walked in smiling, "Hello Sue. Smell's delicious." She smiled, "Saturday morning breakfast is my speciality." He laughed, "Everyone asleep?" My mom shook her head, "Charlie's getting dressed. Seth headed to the store to get some juice." Hunter chuckled, "That explains why the trucks not here." She nodded, "I let him drive just on the reservation." Hunter grabbed plates, silverware, and glasses, quietly setting the table. "Thank you hun." Seth was just walking inside, "Juice boy is back." They both laughed, "Thank you Seth. Just set it on the table." Hunter looked up and nodded, "What's up kid?" Seth shrugged, "Not much. I'm starving." Seth patted his stomach. Charlie walked out, kissing my mom on the cheek, "Morning." She smiled, "Breakfast is ready boys." Everyone took their seats. My mom served breakfast, then took her seat. Charlie picked up the paper, and looked over the front page. "So what time did Leah get in last night?" my mom asked. Hunter spoke up, "It was about 12:30 a.m. I guess she was run off the road. Some kids whipped around a corner last night. She's safe. It just scared her. She was yawning a lot. I know it's only the first week of school, but she's exhausted. I know we've only known each other for a week, but she's the one I'm meant to be with. I'm concerned. She's working, and doubled up on her courses." My mom nodded, "I had mentioned the same thing to Charlie. Maybe you can talk to her. I know she's earning money. Maybe she could work a few hours on campus. I'm not asking her to pay for anything here." Hunter nodded, "Well let's see what she'll say." He smiled and ate his breakfast.

I finally came to and could hear soft laughter in the living room. I stretched and got up and made my way out. Hunter saw me and smiled, "Hey there sleeping beauty." I smiled and walked over to him, sitting on his lap. "I wondered if you were ever going to wake up." He laughed softly and kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry I was so tired. What time is it anyways?" My mom looked at her watch, "1:45 p.m. Hunter has been here since this morning. We didn't want to wake you." I yawned quickly covering my mouth, "Well you should have." Hunter gently pushed my hair behind my ear. "Well we need to talk. It's nothing bad. So no panicking on me. I spoke with your mom. We think you've taken on a lot. Within this past week, you're already exhausted. As the weeks go on, the courses will get tougher. There will be more work. I know you just started your job, but I, well we think you should quit. Focus on school. If your concerned about paying for stuff, working a few hours on campus. You could tutor, or do something." I sighed, "I feel like I'm giving up." Hunter gently hugged me, "Leah it's not giving up. It's keeping yourself healthy. If you're concerned about gas money for the truck. I can drive you a couple of days a week. That's not a problem. I don't want to see you getting hurt." I looked at my mom, "Are you ok if I quit? Do I need to talk to someone, or will you?" My mom smiled softly, "I can talk to who's ever in charge. I will explain, since it was my idea to get you the job." I smiled, "Alright. No more working." Hunter smiled, "What if we did Monday, Wednesday Friday?" I looked at him, "That's a lot. What if we do, Monday and Friday? If your ok with it pick me up Friday morning. I'd go to class. We can stay down here somehow, or..." Hunter smiled, "You could stay at my place as well. I do have a spare room." I smiled, Well you could drop me off Monday evening. Would that work. I could drive Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. It's one day you'll have to get up super early to get me." Hunter smiled, "I'm up early. I could pick you up by 5:00 a.m. Maybe we could grab breakfast on Friday morning? Your class starts at what time, 8:00 a.m?" I nodded, "Yeah it's my late day." Hunter grinned, "Sounds perfect." My mom smiled, "Well if Hunter comes down here to stay, well I can make up the couch." He smiled, "Thank you Sue. I appreciate your hospitality." Charlie sat quietly paying attention to the afternoon game on the television. "So we now have a schedule." Hunter smiled. This will be good for both of us. "Now you need to eat missy. Let's get you some lunch." He gently set me on my feet and walked to the kitchen.

I looked at my mom and nonchalantly nodded towards the bedrooms. She looked at me and nodded. I quietly walked into my room. She smiled kissing Charlie on the cheek, "Be right back." Charlie mumbled something unintelligible. She slipped into my room shutting the door behind her. She joined me on my bed. "Is everything alright?" I smiled wide, "I wanted to tell you. I had a feeling you might know. I imprinted on Hunter. I've told him I imprinted. I explained about my body temperature, and the whole phasing thing. He's ok with it. He knew about the legends." My mom was a bit taken back, "Wow. I knew something serious was going on. I didn't realize that you'd imprinted. I'm happy for you. I'm a bit shocked he didn't freak out." I laughed, "Well I didn't tell him anything else regarding the Cullen's." She nodded, "Probably best not to right now." I smiled and there was a light knock on the door, "Leah, lunch is ready. I made you a tuna fish sandwich." I smiled and got up opening the door. "Everything alright? Am I in trouble?" Hunter joked handing me the sandwich. "No come in." I took the plate and sat down on my bed. Hunter sat at my desk. "Leah filled me in on the two of you. I'm happy for both of you." I quickly ate my sandwich. I was starving. "Well glad to know I make a good sandwich." Hunter grinned. "Mom he's ok with the whole, children thing." She smiled, "You're a great guy. I'm glad she's happy. I'm glad you're both happy." I will let you two have some time alone." She hugged me gently, and patted Hunter on the shoulder and let us be. I set the plate on my desk. Hunter joined me on the bed.

"I'm glad your mom is so easy going. I'm being honest about you having the spare room. I don't want you feeling uncomfortable. I'm not rushing this. I'm not pressuring you." I smiled slowly moving closer to him, gently kissing him on the lips. His arms came around and pulled me close. "I love you." he whispered softly against my lips. "I love you too." He pulled away and just looking into my eyes. "So I thought a lazy day was in order. I will help you with your homework. We can do what ever you would like." I smiled, "How about we watch a movie. I've got a tv, and a dvd player. Well I'd love to show you one of my favorite movies. I love book as well. My mom used to read it me when I was little." Hunter smiled, "I'd love too. So what is it?" I blushed softly, "The Phantom of the Opera." He nodded, "By Gaston Leroux. Amazing story. I remember reading that in high school." I slid off the bed and popped it in the dvd player, and grabbed the remotes and curled up with him. "This bed is so small. I'm sorry about that." Hunter grinned, "Just means I'll have to hold you. Conserve space." I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Ms. Clearwater. If you keep that up, I may just blush. What would the others say." I laughed, "Oh dear I don't know." The movie started up and we enjoyed it quietly. I sang along quietly. I was in heaven.

My mom had called out for dinner. We joined the others and ate. "So are you kids staying here tonight, or are you heading up to Port Angeles?" Hunter looked at me, "That's up to Leah. I always have extra clothes just in case I get stuck some where. We live in Washington after all." Charlie nodded, "I like this kid. He thinks ahead. Leah keep him." I chuckled, "I intend too." I looked at my mom and smiled. I turned and looked at Hunter, "I would love to head to your place tonight. That way you don't have to sleep on the couch. We can do something up your way tomorrow. I will be home Monday evening." My mom smiled, "Alright. Finish up dinner. I don't want you driving up there too late." I smiled and finished eating. "I'm going to take a shower quickly, then pack some clothes, and grab my bag for school." Hunter smiled and kissed the back of my hand. I was off.

They finished up while I quickly got ready. Seth cleared the table loading up the dishwasher. Hunter waited in the living room. I came out with a duffle bag, and my backpack. "Alright I'm all set." Hunter smiled and grabbed my bags. "I will carry those for you. Thank you again for dinner Sue." She hugged both of us, "Be careful. Call me when you get in. I love you kids." I teared up a little, "Love you too mom." Charlie stood up, "Well be careful like she said." I hugged Charlie, "You too. See you later." We headed out the door. I walked to the car and climbed in. Hunter put my bags in the trunk. He walked around and climbed in the drivers side. "Let's go babe." He started the car and we were on our way to his house.

I curled up in the passengers seat. I just looked at Hunter smiling. Then slowly I felt my eyes close. The ride was so nice. It was raining still. That didn't matter. I was with the man I loved. "You can sleep if you want. I will wake you up when we get there." I smiled, "My eyes just are sore. I didn't want to tell my mom, that working was becoming too much. I'm going to stick to my course load. I will push through." Hunter gently held my hand, "If it becomes to much, go the extra year baby." I sighed, "I just need to relax. I think not working now, I can do better. I appreciate you being so willing to drive me." He smiled, "Anything for my lady." I smiled softly. We pulled up to the house. It was nothing big. It had charm, personality, warmth. There was a detached garage which had black doors. The garage matched the color of the house, it was a nice green. The porch was nicely lit. There were adirondack chairs that sat together. Oh it looked so inviting.

Hunter came around and opened my door, and helped me out. He grabbed my bags and unlocked the front door. I stepped in and it was so cozy. "This is home." He shut the door behind me locking it. "This is beautiful. Wow." He set my bags by the bottom of the stairs, and took my hand. I'll show you around. Every room was amazing. It just held so much love. "This is a Craftsman Bungalow. It was built in 1923. Everything is original wood wise. My parents had the electrical, plumbing, and stuff re-done. I just had new insulation put in, along with the windows done back in June. The whole energy efficient thing. I couldn't stop smiling. "Hunter it's beautiful." He smiled, "I will show you to the spare room." I looked at him, "Actually could I sleep in your bed." He nodded, "Of course. I can take the spare room." I blushed, "I was hoping maybe, we could share your room. I know nothing would happen. I've wanted to badly to spend a night with you. When we're away from each other, it's really hard." He smiled and kissed me softly on the cheek, "Well my lady. This way to OUR room." We walked upstairs.

His bedroom was to the right of the top of the stairs. From the bedroom window you could see the ocean. It was beautiful. The sound of the waves crashing against the rocks was so peaceful. I walked over to the window and looked out. Hunter set my bags down wrapping his arms around me. He gently rested his chin on my shoulder, "It's so nice sleeping with the windows open. You wake up to the waves, and fall asleep to them." I smiled and just kept looking out the window. The sound of the ocean was peaceful. Hunter wrapped his arms around my waist, and gently rested his chin on my shoulder. "I can stay like this forever you know." A soft smile spread across my face. "Your also the only girl, besides my mom, that's been in my room." I turned and looked at him, "Well I wish I could say the same to you." My smile faded slowly. He picked my chin up looking into my eyes, "Listen you were honest with me. I don't care. So don't worry please." I took a deep breath nodding. To the left there was a closet. Two windows faced the ocean. Another window was to my right, it looked out on tall pine tree's.

I slowly just took in the beauty of the room. The walls were an off white, creme color. The floors were original, beautiful hardwood. There was a rug on either side of the bed. A rocking chair was tucked in the corner. On either side of the bed were nightstands with matching Tiffany lamps. The whole house had this charm to it. I just fell in love it. Above the bed were four picture frames. The first one had Hunter's Parents when they were married. The second was a family photo. The third was Hunter, with his mom on his graduation day. The last one was empty. I looked at it puzzled. "I'm saving that one for a special picture. When we do get married one day, we can put our wedding picture in there." I teared up a little and wrapped my arms around his neck. He hugged me back chuckling, "Glad to know how you feel about that. He kissed me softly and whispered in my ear, "Get changed into your pajama's. I'm going to lock up downstairs." He let go and walked downstairs. I was glowing. I had only dreamt of finding someone. But he was real. The way he held me. The way he kissed me. I pulled out a navy tank top, and a pair of blue plaid pj's bottoms. I changed quickly, putting the clothes I had worn up, back in my bag. I retrieved my toothbrush, and toothpaste and set off for the bathroom. It was right across from the top of the stairs. The house was so cozy. It was filled with love, and warmth. I quickly brushed my teeth and returned to the bedroom. I pulled the covers back and climbed into the huge four poster. It was so comfortable. I imagined this must be what it feels like to lay on a cloud. It felt like I was floating. Hunter came back in wearing just a pair of grey pajama bottoms. He looked so good. I started to blush a deep red. Hunter let his head fall backwards as he laughed. "I think you like what you see." He came over, and climbed under the blankets with me. I cuddled up with him. I felt so safe in his arms. He kissed the top of my head. "Let's get some sleep. I know you're exhausted. We have all day tomorrow to spend time together." I smiled and fell asleep in Hunters arms.

I woke up the next morning. There was a gentle breeze, which carried the smell of sea salt air. I loved it. I rolled over and noticed, Hunters side was empty. I tried to fall back asleep, but was unsuccessful. I heard the door shut downstairs. The smell of freshly made bagels made it way upstairs. I climbed out of bed and made my way downstairs. Music was softly playing. I leaned quietly in the doorway of the kitchen. On the table were bagels, already cut in half. There was cream chees, butter, and jelly's on the table. Two plates were set across from each other. Two glasses of orange juice sat beside each plate. I could smell freshly brewed coffee. Hunter had just placed the coffee mugs on the table. He looked, and smelled amazing. He was wearing a light blue long sleeve flannel shirt. It hung open. Underneath is was a fitted white t-shirt which contoured to him perfectly. He was wearing light blue jeans, and a pair of hiking boots. He turned around spotting me. "Did I wake you?" Hunter walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I shook my head, "No I woke up on my own." He smiled and kissed me softly, "Come eat. I went to the bakery. I grabbed an assortment of bagels for us." He pulled out my chair for me, and I took a seat. He sat down across from me. The music flowed softly in the background as we chatted.

I finished eating and sat back relaxing. I wanted to ask Hunter a question, but hesitation took over. He noticed it, "What's up?" he set down his coffee cup, looking at me. I almost felt like I was intruding on his privacy. He kept looking at me waiting, "Cat got your tongue?" I took a deep breath, and relaxed a little. "I feel out of place asking this. I feel like it's none of my business. I was curious how you can afford to live here, go to school, and work part-time after classes." Hunter laughed, "First I have a full scholarship to school. Covers books, and every course, for every year I attend. Electricity, and heat. Well because most is energy efficient, I save a lot there. My dads boat, I rent it out seasonally for fishing trips. It's not cheap using the boat. I make money back to keep it running. It's safe, and up to date. Plus my parents left me an inheritance. I've also have money put away. You're not being nosy. You're my girlfriend. You've every right to know." I smiled at him, "Thank you. I guess it wasn't that bad." He laughed, "Don't be afraid to ask questions." He got up walking over kissing me. He took our dishes putting them in the dishwasher, then refilled my coffee.

"So I was thinking we could go out today, if you'd like. Totally up to you." I smiled, "I need to do some homework tonight." Hunter grinned, "We'll Nurse Leah, I can be your patient." I laughed and, so did he. "There's a farmers market downtown. They have some other vendors down there also." I smiled at him, "Well if you'd like to go, we can go." He smiled wide, "You'll love it. Trust me." I smiled and finished my coffee. "I just need to get dressed, then we can go." Hunter practically jumped out of his seat, "Go get ready. I'll grab the shopping bags." I smiled and hurried upstairs, and got dressed. I pulled on a pair of jeans and a lavender shirt. I slipped on my sneakers, and quickly brushed my teeth. I grabbed my purse and was greeted at the bottoms of the stairs to a soft kiss. "Let's go my lady." We linked arms and headed out to his car.

We walked around to the different tents. The smells were overwhelming. The fresh scents were delicious. If Seth were here, he might have died from drowning. He would have drooled that much. We made our way through grabbing things from different stands. Then Hunter picked up fresh made bread. It was still slightly warm. I looked at him, "Fresh is the best." I smiled and smelled it through the wrapper. Finally we finished up. There was so much food in the bags. "Who's gong to eat all this?" I asked looking at them, as we put them in the trunk. Hunter smiled, "We will actually. I'm planning on making a homemade vegetable soup when we get back. Then we can freeze it. I can send you home with some. I love to cook." I grinned and kissed him, "Sounds good to me." We were on our way home.

Once we got back, I sat quietly in the living room. I had my books spread out and, worked quietly on my homework. Hunter worked quietly in the kitchen. Music played softly in the background, and he hummed along. I caught myself yawning, but the day was fun. I let my head fall back against the couch, and dozed off quietly. I woke up and looked around. My books were all stacked up neatly. I had a blanket draped over me. I stretched and stifled a yawn. Hunter sat down beside me, "Hello sleeping beauty. There's soup on the stove, if you're hungry." I leaned over and kissed him. "Let's go eat then. I'm a hungry wolf." I winked at him and headed out to the kitchen. He'd already set the table. I poured soup into both of the bowls and set them on the table. Hunter walked out with a blanket around him. He made it look like a cape with a hood, "Excuse me Miss Wolf, have you seen my grandmother?" I started laughing, and he did as well.

We ate quietly and cleaned up. He scooped me up in his arms. "So I was thinking we can watch a movie. It's your choice." I looked at his DVD rack. "You have Auntie Mame?!" He chuckled and set me down, "Yep. That has to be one of my favorites." How was I this lucky? Then he was my imprint. He was my soul mate. He was mine. He popped in the movie, and pulled me onto the couch with him. I smiled curling up with him. We recited lines, laughed and enjoyed each others company. Once the movie ended he kissed the top of my head. I looked up and smiled. "Head up, and get ready for bed babe. I will take care of the fire, and lock up." I stretched and made my way upstairs. I changed, and crawled into bed. I hadn't realized how tired I was. I fell asleep before Hunter joined me.

I woke up, curled up against him. His arms wrapped around me. His bare chest against my back. He whispered softly in my ear, "Morning beautiful. Sleep well?" I smiled and spoke softly, "Very much so, and yourself." He gently squeezed me, "Of course I had you to hold." We laid there quietly as the ocean sang quietly outside the windows. The soft glow of the sun, warmed the room. "Are you hungry?" He asked. I shrugged, "A little. Maybe cereal. We got ready, and had breakfast and took off for school. Hunter was parked in his usual spot. I looked around quietly. Hunter was on my side, and holding the door open for me. He looked around as well, "Are you looking for something?" I shook my head meeting his eyes, "I had this strange feeling like I was being watched." I moved out of the way so he could shut the door. Hunter pulled me close to him, putting an arm around my waist. "Well I will walk with you to your classes." I smiled, "Don't worry about it hun. Probably just my imagination playing with me." He smiled, but I could tell it still bothered him. "Well let's meet up at lunch. I will see you in a little bit." He kissed me and took off for his class.

The morning dragged on. It seemed like my classes would never end. I headed to the cafeteria and found a table. I pulled out my text book, and quietly read. I wanted to get a head start on my homework. I hadn't realized Hunter was there, until he slid a sandwich in front of me. "Hey there. How's outer space?" I closed my text book looking up. "Sorry my day has just been dragging on." I unwrapped the my sandwich and quietly started eating. Our lunch was very quiet. Hunter kept his gaze on me. I could tell I was worrying him. We finished lunch and head back to our classes. He had to stay after to tutor. I hung out in the cafe, and waited for him. That feeling creeped up on me again. I looked around. I couldn't find anyone actually looking at me. Hunter sat down across from me, pushing a coffee over towards me. "Hey babe. Ready to get going?" I nodded and smiled. I scooped up my stuff, and walked with him to the car. Before I got in I kissed him, wrapping my arms around his waist. "You seem to be a little better." I nodded, "Just a weird day. Maybe it's just typical monday." He chuckled, "Maybe it is. Let's get you home."

The drive home was quick, and quiet. He pulled into the driveway and looked at me, smiling gently. I smiled turning to look at him. "I think you'll get into the swing of things. Mondays are still tough for me to adjust too." I laughed, "Just a matter of time." He nodded, "I hate to do this, but I need to get home. I will call you when I'm done with my homework. I promise." I smiled and kissed him softly, "I love you. Drive safe." He kissed me back, "I always do." I smiled softly and climbed out, and headed inside. I heard the car driving down the road.

Before I set my bag down, my mom called out, "Dinner in thirty minutes." I mumbled a, "Ok." going back to my homework. The news played softly in the living room. My brain still felt super focused. The time had passed, and I was so deep into my work. My mom tapped me on the shoulder, "I called you several times. I didn't get a response. Seth is already at the table. You alright?" I pushed away from my desk, standing up, "Yeah just working on homework. Got wrapped up in it. Let's go eat." She smiled and we headed to the table. Seth's big goofy grin greeted us, "About time. I was going to start eating without you." My mom shook her head and started eating, as did I. "So The Cullen's asked how your classes are going." I looked at Seth, "Carlisle, and Esme asked correct?" Seth laughed, "Yes they were the one's that asked. You're so particular." I smiled, "Yes I am. Let them know it's going good. I'm staying busy. I'll be doing some work on campus to earn a little money." My mom smiled, "I'm glad you found a part-time job on campus." I nodded, and had finished eating.

Seth was all to eager to fill me in on, the vampire child. "So Nessie is growing fast. It's insane. Bella is adjusting to the immortal life well. She's not had any accidents." He was gushing like a teen girl. My mom glanced in my direction. "Well good for Bella. Too bad we all can't adjust to major life changes so easily. It must be wonderful to be perfect, and a Cullen." I got up and left the table. "Leah please calm down. He didn't mean it like that." I turned around and looked at my mom, "Just know that, if you ever marry Charlie, she's your step daughter. She's Seth's step-sister. She'll never be anything to me." With that I went to my room, and shut the door locking it.

I sat at my desk and put on music. I went right back to my homework. I mulled through it as the anger was growing inside of me. I could hear Seth, and my mom talking. "I thought Hunter had calmed her down. Guess I was wrong." My mom sighed, and it was clear she felt defeated. Seth stood up hugging her, "Don't worry mom. She may never get over Bella, and everything that's happened. Even though everyone else, has moved on she maybe stuck. Leah really went through a lot. I saw inside her head. I feel so bad for her. She was the first to be hurt by Imprinting. She's the first female wolf. She's really got the crappy end of the deal." My mom looked at Seth, "For such a young man, you're very wise. Does Leah talk to you?" He shook his head, "Nope, but she's like a book, easily readable." My mom gently caressed Seth's cheek. " I have two of the most amazing children. I don't know what I'd do without you." Seth helped clean up after dinner.

I finished up my homework. I couldn't see straight anymore. I closed my books, and shoved them back in my bag. I shut off the light, climbing onto my bed. I didn't bother changing into pj's. I just laid in the dark. The wind started to pick up outside. The windows rattled softly The dull ache that was caused, from being away from Hunter lingered. Tonight it was worse then usual. I heard several howls in the distance. I was pretty sure it was a routine, perimeter patrol. Jacob hadn't called on me. I assumed it was Sam's pack. I tried to stay awake, and wait for Hunters call, but nothing came. I finally gave into the sleep, I so desperately needed.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33 ~ The months are flying by, and who am I?**

The weeks passed, and Halloween was here. My mom had to hide the Halloween candy for trick or treaters, from Seth. She had to replace her stock twice already. Charlie was over more often then before now. He would go on, and on about Renesemee. We were over the Cullen's more frequently now. My mom usually accompanied Charlie. He was slowly adjusting to the world of "weird". Jacob was always with the Cullen's as well. He was still alpha to our pack. Our because it was no longer the three of us. Embry and, Quil had joined us as well. I was promoted to second in command. I was frequenting the Cullen's as well. It wasn't my first choice but, Jacob wasn't leaving unless, it was an absolute emergency. I noticed school was appearing to take a back seat as well.

Evening was approaching fast. I'd been home for about an hour from school. "Leah, I made lasagna. When you're ready to eat, help yourself hun. I'm going to Charlie's for a bit. Please be safe." I rolled my eyes, "Sure. Dinner. Safe. Pass out candy. I think I can handle it." She smiled, "Alright. I'll be home around midnight. Love you." She kissed the top of my head, and was out he door. I had the house to myself. Seth had already taken off with his friends. Trick or treating was something he never missed. I curled up on the couch, and dove into my homework.

The night passed with kids ringing the bell. I finally was out of candy by about 8:30pm. I grabbed the remote flipping on the tv. There were the typical scary movies on. I stopped on Dracula with Bella Lugosi. I laughed at the cheesiness of the movie. I thought out loud," If vampires really looked like that. Maybe people would be smart, and stay away." Seth had just walked in as I finished my thought. "Leah, you've gotta give it to The Cullen's. They blend in pretty well. They're not making people into meals, like traditional vampires do." I looked at him raising an eyebrow, "How are we to know, they don't secretly kill a human for a holiday meal?" Seth shook his head, "For one their eyes would change color. Second you need to get out more often." He flopped down beside me on the couch. The thunk as his pillowcase hit the coffee table, made me jump. "I hit the mother load this year." I looked at the bulging pillow case, "You'll be trick or treating until you're 30." Seth laughed, "Most likely."

The weeks continued to pass after Halloween. School was consuming most of my time. I worked a couple of days a week on campus. Three hours shifts were to bad. If it was quiet, I did some studying. Luckily after classes on Friday, I stayed in Port Angeles until Monday. Commuting between La Push, and Port Angeles took a total of three hours Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. One way was an hour an half drive. It seemed like a lot, but I couldn't give up on my education. I wanted to be a nurse. It was in my blood to help people. Sunday's you could find Hunter, and I hunched around the kitchen table, studying, and doing homework. We balanced each other perfectly. Finally my crazy life, had normalcy.

Back in La Push things had changed. There were changes amongst the packs for sure. Sam, and Jacob had come to an understanding. There was no longer any animosity. Quil, and Embry had joined Jacob's pack. I was now Jacob's beta. I checked in with Jacob constantly. The only problem with it was, he was always at the Cullen's. I still was not comfortable going there. I knew he was there because of Renesmee. It just made everything so much more difficult. Seth had no issue's with them. They were like his best friends. Now Charlie was over there a lot as well. Every time he went there, my mom tagged along. She stayed quiet the whole time. She never left his side. One evening when we were home alone I asked her, "Why do you go there if it bothers you so much?" She smiled at me gently, "Charlie has been thrown into this supernatural realm. Renesmee does things that he can't quite wrap his head around. You're there for the one's you love, no matter the circumstances." I mulled it over realizing she had truly found happiness again, and it was with Charlie.

I had finished up at work, and closed up shop. I decided to head to Hunters house.I climbed out and felt a chill in the air. Typically as a wolf this wouldn't have been noticed. I looked around before I headed inside. I'd be home for a little bit by myself until he came home. I decided to occupy myself with homework, and worked quietly. The door opened as the clock read 7:30pm. He set his bag down, and hung up his jacket, then walked into the kitchen. "Hey baby. Sorry I was so late today. Someone called out sick. I was thinking instead of cooking, we could order in, or go out. It's up to you. There is an amazing sub shop down the street a ways." I closed my book, "Let's go out then. I'm really in the mood for a steak and cheese with some french fries." Hunter laughed, "Well my hungry wolf. If you're ready let's go." He smiled opening the door for me and we left.

We came home after dinner. I took off my hoodie hanging it up. I sat down on the couch, kicking my shoes off. Hunter joined me wrapping his arms around me, pulling me close to him. "I had a great time this evening. That was delicious. So how was class today?" I shrugged, "It was class. Lots of notes. Tons of studying ahead." Hunter smiled and looked down at me. "I really am so glad I met you. I admire you. You're everything I ever wanted in someone." He kissed the top of my head. "Well that's why I think I imprinted on you hun." He laughed, "Oh my wolf girl. I do love you more than you'll ever know." I smiled and felt the butterflies in my stomach come to life.

The weekend passed, and it was back to school for us. Monday was like usual for me. Hunter, and I met up at lunch time. He had brought lunch for both of us. Turkey, and cheese on whole wheat with mayo. He slid one across the table to me. I was unwrapping the sandwich, when our eyes met. "I have something I wanted to ask you, but I wasn't sure how to ask." I looked at him raising an eyebrow, "Uh ok." I set the sandwich down. "So I wasn't sure how to approach the question. I didn't want to offend you at all." I was a little leery of what he might ask. "What do you guys do for Thanksgiving? Do you celebrate it?" I laughed out loud, causing others around us to look at me. Poor Hunter was turning red. "That was the question. Well we don't do much. We have a small dinner, or did. Usually afterwards sat around watching football. This year my mom was going to Charlie's for the holiday. They were having a small gathering there. Hunter nodded, "Oh ok. I wasn't sure because of the whole thing in Plymouth." I nodded, "They use the day to remember their ancestors." Hunter smiled, "Well how would you feel about spending the holiday with my family, and I? It will be aunts, uncles, cousins, and a few kids." I smiled, "That sounds really nice. I would love to." He smiled appearing to have relaxed, "I can't wait. It will be our first Thanksgiving together." I smiled, "The first of many to come." He leaned across and kissed me. We finished up lunch, and head off to our classes.

I finished with class and went to the coffee shop. I found a chair by the windows, and made myself comfortable. I quietly drank my coffee while reading over my notes, and my text book. I was all caught up on my homework. All my assignments were turned in. I was just getting some studying done for upcoming exams. I wanted to be prepared. While the afternoon passed, and turned to evening, that feeling of being watched came over me. I glimpsed around the coffee shop, but no eyes were aimed in my direction. I looked out the window and found the same, nothing. People walked by going to where ever their destinations may be. I decided I wasn't going to tell Hunter. I didn't want him worrying because my mind played tricks on me. I went back to reading, and curled up in my chair, losing track of time. Hunter walked in and squatted beside me gently putting his hand on top of my hand. "You ok?" I looked around, and then looked at him. "Huh?" He asked again, "Are you ok?" I closed my book, and he set it on the table in front of me. "Uh yeah. I just was wrapped up in reading." He knew I was lying to him. He eyed me, "You seem off. Let's head home ok." I looked at him confused. "You're staying with me. We talked about driving back to La Push tomorrow. We were going to stay there for the night, and come back up Wednesday morning, or afternoon. We're supposed to go grocery shopping tonight." I just looked at him for a few seconds before responding, "Yeah right. Sorry totally slipped my mind." He put my book in my bag, and I picked it up. I slipped on my jacket, and we left.

We were finally home after grocery shopping, and had put everything away. We had dinner, and put the dishes away after washing them. Hunter pulled me over to him gently. He looked into my eyes like he was trying to find the words on a blank page. I just looked back at him. "Talk to me. You've been acting strange. I'm worried. You didn't touch your dinner. I'm not sure what happened." Hunter carefully touched my forehead, letting his hand slide down my cheek, turning my face side to side examining me. "I had that feeling of being watched again." Hunter tensed up, "Why didn't you tell me earlier. This bothers me that you feel like that." I sighed softly, "I shouldn't have told you. I knew you were going to get upset. It's just a feeling. Nobody is there." Hunter rubbed the back of his neck, "Just promise you'll stay safe. I can't lose you." I nodded, "I will. You won't lose me." He forced his smile. I could tell he was still worried. His eyes were tight, holding back the anger, and worry. The knot in my stomach was growing as I could feel his eyes on me. "Let's get some rest." We headed up to bed, falling asleep early.

We'd gone down to La Push, and visited. Nothing knew was going on. Everything remained the same. After visiting we headed back to Hunters house, and started preparing for tomorrows dinner. We had everything all prepped. It took us about three hours. Everything was neatly stacked in the refrigerator. We had already set the dining room table for everyone. We'd all fit comfortably. Hunter stood beside me, wrapping an arm around my waist. "Thank you for all the help. We did a great job." I smiled at him, "We make a great team." Hunter kissed me gently on the cheek. He was still guarded, which wasn't like him. He kept a close eye on me.

We headed to the back room where the fireplace was. It was a cozy room. It had two couches out there. There was a huge braided rug that sat in the middle of the floor. He had a small book case out here. There was a floor lamp tucked in the corner. Just through the trees, I could make out moonlight on the water. He pulled me down onto the couch with him. "I only imagined having someone so special." I smiled curling up next to him. He slowly stroked my hair, my eyes fell heavy. He grabbed a remote turning on the radio softly. Some instrumental music played, as I dozed off.

I came around finally. I was laying curled up in Hunters arms. He'd carried me upstairs tucking me into bed. It was 7:30am when I quietly snuck out of bed. I went downstairs and started preheating the oven. I went back upstairs and headed for the bathroom. The house was quiet. I could hear the ocean in the distance, even with the windows closed. I turned in the hot water, and undressed. The shower felt so good. There a light knock on the door. I smiled, "Morning. I preheated the oven." I received a hug through the shower curtain. "Thank you. You were so quiet getting up. I'll let you finish up. I'm going to hop in after you." He left me to finish. I turned off the water and grabbed my towel wrapping it around me. I brushed my teeth and went to the bedroom to get dressed. I could smell fresh coffee brewing downstairs. I pulled on a pair of jeans, my sweater, and boots. Hunter came back up and kissed me. "You look so good right now." I laughed, "Why thank you. Go get ready." I brushed my hair and went downstairs.

Waiting on the kitchen counter was, a blueberry muffin, and a cup of coffee. Beside it was a small piece of paper. It read,

_"Every day you're in my life I smile. You always have a smile she you're around me. You make me laugh. You make me feel complete. I couldn't ask for a better person to share my life with. Happy Thanksgiving. I love you."_

I smiled running my fingers over the paper. I had an amazing man to spend my life with. Today I was going to meet his family. I was on the edge of excitement, and nervousness. I leaned against the counter, and ate my muffin quietly. Hunter walked into the kitchen just as I took a sip of my coffee. "Nice and clean. Now time to work." I set down my coffee. He looked at me with a smirk, "What has you smiling?" I walked over to him, and hugged him, "Thank you so much. I love you more than you know. You make me so happy." Hunter kissed the top of my head. "You found the note. I'm glad." We were almost done cooking, when the doorbell rang, and voices started flooding the house. "It smells delicious." Hunter walked out leaving me to tend to the food.

I had emptied the stuffing into the bowl when, Hunter walked in with an older woman, and man. Voices still lingered in the hallway by the front door. "Leah, this is my Aunt Sandra, and Uncle George. This is my lovely lady, Leah Clearwater." I blushed as a smile spread across my face. "It's so nice to meet you sweetie." Sandra hugged me tight. I couldn't do anything except hug her back. "Let the girl breath." George chuckled. She let go of me, keeping me at arms length examining me. "Such a beautiful young lady you are. Tall I may add. You take great care of yourself." I looked at Hunter quickly, then back at his aunt. "Thanks." George gave me a firm handshake. "It's a pleasure to meet you." I smiled, "You as well." Hunter walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "It smells delicious babe." I smiled. His aunt bustled around the kitchen while we stood there for a minute. His uncle found his way to the television and put on a football game. "Mom how long until dinner. I'm starving. This voice rung out, from a young girl who was shorter then me by a few inches. She had rich brown eyes. Soft brown hair which fell down her back, in soft curls. She wore little to no makeup. "Chloe manners. We're guests." She piped up, "Its Hunters house. We're family. He knows how I am." Just then she saw me. "Oh I'm sorry. I was only kidding." Hunter laughed softly, "Don't worry. Leah has a brother just like you." I nodded agreeing. Chloe lit up. "So you're Leah. The girl he's going to marry." I laughed. She was a human replica of the Pixie vampire. "We'll one day, we'll married." I corrected. Chloe smiled at me, "I can't wait. You'll fit in perfectly." She smiled once more at me, before disappearing into the living room. There was a roar of male voices coming from the living room. "Tyler is out there with your uncle watching the game." Hunter let go of me helping his aunt cook. "Tyler is my age, and Chloe is 16." Hunter told me. Sandra cut in, "There's also Holly. She's 21 and graduated college this spring. She went for business management. She's coming on her own. I think her boyfriend Adam is coming as well." Hunter drained the vegetables putting them in separate bowls, "That's fine. We have plenty of food." he smiled moving around the small kitchen. I started taking food out to the dining room, placing it carefully.

As I finished setting down the last bowl, the door swung open. Two small children came running in, "I can eat more than you." A young boys voice called out. "No you can't Caleb" Sandra started laughing, "Sounds like Eric, Michelle, and the kids arrived." A woman's voice called out, "Caleb, and Kiara, stop right now." Hunter smiled walking out with the bowls. "Sandra was my moms sister." I nodded. The two kids heard Hunters voice and tackled him, "Hunter!" They both hugged him grinning from ear to ear. "Hey you two. I can eat more than both of you." They laughed. "Kids this is Leah. This is," I smiled, "Let me guess, Caleb, and Kiara." This beautiful blonde haired woman walked in, "You're correct. Sorry about them bickering." I laughed, "No worries. Siblings bicker. I'm Leah." The blonde smiled shaking my hand, I'm Michelle Emerson. Well Eric's wife." I smiled shaking her hand, then went back to finishing up.

The rest of the family had shown up. Introductions were made quickly. The table was set, and we all sat down enjoying a nice meal. We talked generally amongst one another. I sat quietly listening, while I ate. We finished dinner, and were relaxing before desert. Patricia, her fiancé Henry, and Jonathan helped clear the table, and load the dishwasher. Aunt Sandra, and Aunt Leslie put away the left over food. Henry, and Jonathan started bringing out all the deserts. Aunt Leslie had brought out the coffee, and cream. Aunt Sandra carried out the cups, spoons, forks, and sugar. Patricia carried out dishes, along with napkins. Once they sat down, everyone dug in. The kids were practically on top of the table grabbing for their favorites. Uncle George smiled, "So Leah tell us a little about yourself." I smiled softly, "Where to start?" I chuckled, and everyone else did. "I'm from La Push, Washington. I was born and raised there. I'm Quileute. I'm studying nursing. I don't know what else to tell." I shrugged a little embarrassed.

Alex took over, making me feel less embarrassed. "I will introduce my family to make like a little easier." HIs smile was so warm. "I'm Todd's brother. Hunter's dad obviously" He laughed. "You know Leslie. We've been married 27 years. You've met our daughters, Patricia. She's 25 and is a first grade teacher. She's engaged to Henry who's a firefighter. Then there's Sonya who's 23. She's the district manager for Starbucks." I nodded, "Wow." Sonya smiled, "Well I worked there while going to school. I jumped on the promotion once I graduated." I nodded, "That's pretty impressive."

Sandra laughed, "Guess it's my turn to introduce everyone formally." Eric is 28, Jonathan is 22, and Chloe is 16. Michelle, and Eric have been married 7 years. Caleb is 6, and Kiara is 5. George, and I have been married 30 years. Clara was the older sister." Sandra's smile, showed how much she loved her sister. Hunter smiled and nodded. "She was an amazing lady." Chloe sat there grinning like a cheshire cat. I couldn't help but chuckle softly. Chloe was all to anxious for details about Hunter, and I. She was such a sucker for romance it appeared. "Ok I need to know. How'd you both meet? Don't leave out any details." Everyone laughed at her. "Well get your notepad read for the article." Hunter smirked, and she stuck her tongue out at him. "We met in a bookstore, here in Port Angeles. She bumped into me." Chloe chimed in, "Love at first sight." Hunter and I both looked at each other and laughed. "Yeah I guess you could say that." Hunter smiled. "We seemed to bond over legends. After the bookstore we had dinner together. Well now we're together." Chloe started to bounce up and down in her seat, "So you've found the one. Now when are you going to pop the question?" Aunt Sandra quickly got after Chloe. "Give them a break. They've only been together a few months." Hunter smiled, "When the time is right, I will. Don't worry." He held my hand squeezing it gently.

The day was coming to an end, the sun had set. People were starting to yawn. It had been such a great day. It was full of laughter, and happy memories, and love. Aunt Sandra, Uncle George, and their family were going to spend a few days with us. The others lived close enough, it was easy to head home. Everyone said their goodbyes. Quietly everyone scattered to their sleeping quarters, leaving Hunter and, I to ourselves. We sat watching the fire slowly dwindle. "This was an amazing Thanksgiving." I smiled, "Well I spent it with an amazing family." He smiled carefully pulling my face to his. Slowly he placed a gentle kiss on my lips. I returned the kiss wrapping my arms around his neck. Once the fire was out, we headed to bed.

The next days passed with ease. The rest of the family headed home Sunday morning. Hunter, and I had the house back to ourselves again. We cleaned, stripped beds, and brought it back to pre-holiday festivities. We smiled once we were done, and fell onto the couch. "So do we go out?" Hunter asked smiling. "We can go out. Maybe go to a few shops. Do a little shopping." Hunter seemed all to eager. "Lets go then. The laundry will be done when. We get back. We can watch a movie. Have some dinner." I smiled and kissed him softly, "It sounds perfect." He smiled running his fingers gently trough my hair. Goosebumps rose all over my skin. I gently bit my bottom lip. I tried desperately to calm down my racing heart. Hunter picked up on it. "Time to go." He stood up grabbing my had, pulling me to my feet.

We had parked and were walking along. I'd noticed a small shop which caught my interest. Hunter smiled kissing my cheek, "Go look around. I saw a shop back a little ways I want to check out." I smiled kissing him back. "Let's meet up at the coffee shop." Hunter smiled, "See you then." I said and slipped inside the shop. Hunter left me on my own. I poked around looking at different things. I want quite sure what Hunter would want for Christmas. I ended up finding two beautiful leather bracelets. One was a dark brown. The other was black. I paid for the bracelets, and slipped them in my pocket. I headed for the coffee shop. Hunter came up behind me before I walked inside. "Mmm so sweet smelling." He whispered against my neck. "Why thank you." I turned around facing him. "So want to walk around some more?" Hunter shrugged, "Thats your choice." I smiled, "Well I don't see much else I want to look at." Hunter pulled out his car keys, "Let's head back to the house. We can relax for a bit." Smiling I nodded, "Sounds like a good plan."

As night fall came, I made sure everything was ready for the next day. Hunter worked quietly on some notes. I watched tv for a while. I curled up making myself comfortable. Slowly I dozed off to the warmth of the fire. I dreamed I was walking around on campus. There was someone following me. Every time I would turn around nobody would be there, but I could feel their eyes on me. Hunter gently shook me, "Hey babe. Leah wake up." I startled awake looking around. Hunter put his hand on my shoulder, "You're ok. You were having a dream. Breath ok." It took me a few minutes to catch my breath. "You were stirring a lot. I watched you for about ten minutes before I woke you." He looked at me, his eyes squinted with concern. "It was just a bad dream. I'm ok. I'm heading to bed." I kissed him, and went to bed.

I woke up the next morning and it was still dark outside. The alarm clock read 5:45am. The alarm wouldn't go off for another hour. I crept out of bed and got ready for the day. I made some breakfast and ate alone. I washed up my dishes and put them away. Once I was done, I sat in the living room and watched the morning news. Hunter woke up, and got ready then came down. "Morning Early Bird. Why didn't you wake me?" He smiled leaning over the back of the couch. "Because you were peaceful. I couldn't fall back asleep." Hunter nodded, and headed into the kitchen having breakfast. I continued to watch tv, until Hunter came back out. "So are you heading back to La Push after classes?" I nodded, "I should check in. I hate having to check in, but that's part of being a pack member." Hunter smiled, "Responsibility. One of the hard things in life." he smirked. Before I knew it, we had to leave.

The weeks were flying by. I'd finished my assignments, and exams. It was winter break from classes. Hunter, and I continued to work. I drove each day to work. I was spending the weekends at Hunters house as usual. He'd mentioned it was my house as well. I had clothes there, and toiletries but that was it. I had the day off from work. Jacob had asked Seth, and I to swing by the Cullen's. He wanted to be brought up on what was going on in La Push. There wasn't much to tell him. Seth, and I watched from the trees as, Bella, Jacob, and Renesmee took off for a hunt.

It was kind of odd being back here in wolf form. I usually checked in while human. I chose to speak outside if I needed to. Seth sat happily on his haunches. I was surprised he wasn't chasing his tail out of pure excitement. He's a sweet kid, but boredom does do some strange things to him. He looked at me and gave me a wolfy grin at my thought. I let my thoughts go back to drifting. I thought about home. School. Work. Seth mentally snored. "Wow boring. Come on Leah. I'm going to fall asleep here." I twitched my tail ignoring his remark. Quickly the joking was over. Jacobs thoughts were alarmed. It only took a matter of seconds before we were following Carlisle, and Edward.

We stood listening. Bella explained where she'd seen the vampire. She explained that this vampire had growled. It set Edwards anger off quickly. Carlisle explained she was grieving and he'd look for her. Edward quickly insisted he'd go along. There was no speaking after this. A silent conversation went on between the two of them, before they took off. Jacob was eager to get, Renesmee back to the house. He didn't want her getting hurt. We followed behind them as we ran back.

Bella went inside with Renesmee. Jacob stayed outside for a few moments, and looked at both of us. "So what do we do now?" Seth was curious. "Let's wait and see if they caught up to her." I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Oh excuse me Leah. Do you have somewhere more important to be?" I huffed, "Back in La Push. Not playing guard wolf, once again." Jacob growled at me, "I'm still YOUR alpha." I quickly cut off his thoughts. "It's your imprint you want safe. She means nothing to me. Seth will help you. He loves her, and the rest of them like family. Why don't you all go inside. Maybe you can bake cookies." Jacob growled at me. Bella watched from the window, while holding Renesmee. I knew other eyes were on us. Seth whined softly, "Ugh Leah. Chill out. We're a pack." I looked at him. "No you're both leech lovers. I on the other hand am not. I can't believe mom allows this. I'm leaving." Jacob growled and with that, Bella quickly moved away from the windows. "Shut up Leah. Your brother has been a good to everyone. How can you be so cold." I shrugged, "Guess the leeches skin temperature wears off on my heart, now doesn't it." I took off into the woods leaving the two of them standing there.

Once I was safely back in La Push, by my house, I phased back. I slipped back into my clothes and emerged. I headed inside to find my mom folding laundry in the living room. "Hi honey. How is everything?" I shrugged and sat down bedside her. She set down the pants she was folding. "Talk to me. What happened?" I looked at her, "Did Seth call you?" She sighed softly, "Actually Jacob told me. I understand why you're upset." I crossed my arms, "It seems like nothing else matters to him, or Seth. I didn't forget my responsibilities. I don't see why they're all vampire friendly now." My mom listened, then spoke softly, "Leah we know why. Jacob imprinted. Well Seth see's the good in everyone. He's very easy going. I understand why you're not. I don't blame you. Jacob is your alpha." I quickly cut in, "I don't care if he's a prince in some foreign country. He needs to learn respect." My mom took a moment, "You as well Hun. Your so quick to snap. I understand you." I tightened my arms. "Relax and watch some tv. Don't stew over it alright. You're home now. Try and relax." I nodded, "I think I'm going to try and get some rest." I quietly left her with the laundry and went to my room.

A few days had passed. I had fallen asleep with such ease. I was quickly awakened when Jacob had showed up at our house. He had shaken me awake. "Get up now. I will explain." He quickly woke up Seth as well. We hurried and met up with the other pack. Sam stood there. The rest of us created a circle, stemming from each of their sides. "What's going on Jacob." Sam's voice was stern. He was clearly concerned. "Carlisle told me Alice had a vision, and it wasn't good. The head of all vampires are coming here. They're ready to fight. Not just any fight but, to the death." Everyone tensed up. "I don't have any other information at the moment. They're coming for her." Jacob's eyes showed the pain. They were coming for, Renesmee. Sam nodded, "We'll fight to keep her safe Jacob." I had realized, we'd fight to the death. That's what a family does. They protect their loved ones.

Our pack had returned to the giant white house sometime before midnight. We stayed outside quietly watching, and waiting for anything. I noticed that the pixie vampire, abd her mate were not in the house. I'd assumed they'd gone off for some alone time. Jacob, and Carlisle had sat quietly talking about immortal children. I half listened. It was scary to think what they were capable of. Renesmee wasn't like them. I could see why she could be confused as one, at first sight. Finally Jacob phased back to his wolf form, and slept on the floor. Soft whines, and whimpers filled the night air. It was Seth who had trouble sleeping. I felt bad. I had to keep my thoughts clear. I couldn't sleep. Out of no where the big vampire with dark hair cussed. It startled everyone. Jacob was on his feet growling. That caused all of us to follow suit. Bella yelled at Jacob telling him to, "Stay with Renesmee." As she, and the rest of her family blurred through the front door, past all of us.

Jacob had phased back, and held onto Renesmee. They were quiet at the moment. There was curiosity amongst us wolves. Where had the vampires taken off to in such a rush. We waited patiently keeping an eye on the house, and surrounding areas. Before we knew it the vampires were back. Carlisle had moved quietly, but quickly around the house like the others. He set down a globe in the living room. "What's going on?" Jacob asked. Carlisle sighed softly, "Alice, and Jasper have chosen to leave us. They asked Sam for permission to cross your land, to gain access to the ocean." Jacob tensed up. Renesmee looked between the two of them. "So what's happening now?" Jacob continued. "We'll she left a note with him, to pass onto us. She's told us to gather friends. Esme, and myself will look for old friends. Rosalie, and Emmett will go on their own search. Then we'll return once we can." I stayed quiet listening to everything. So they needed witnesses. I started to wonder what would happen if they couldn't gather these vampires.

Bella, and Edward returned a d tension seemed to fill the air, like a fog. I heard Edward speaking with Carlisle. He, and Bella would stay back. They had visitors coming in the morning to see this special child. Renesmee was asking Jacob questions, in her own way. He was quietly answering them. The rest said their goodbyes, and took off into the woods on their search. wI was left thinking. I forgot others could hear me. What would happen to us. What would happen to Hunter, and I? What would happen to the wolves who had mates? It was decided we'd fight to the death if we had to. I kind of felt angry. Who decided for me that I wanted to fight. Who decided I wanted to die. I hadn't signed up for being a fighter. I understood that we were to protect, but to what extreme. Why couldn't they just run away. I let the conversation that went in inside the house, just become a dull buzz.

I saw Bella walk over to the window. She just stated off. No emotion was on her face. She just kept looking. Renesmee quickly jumped up in her mothers arms. They spoke quietly amongst each other. I just watched quietly as they interacted with one another. I wanted to hold my child. Embrace their warm body. Enjoy their scent. Tell them how much I love them. I would never get that. A soft whine escaped through my muzzle. I took off into the woods.

The rest of the day passed. Night fall came, and Jacob had gone to fill in Sam, about the new quests arriving. He returned and crashed in the ground. The rest of us did the same. It was before day break when Jacob left us. He'd phased back to human, but not before telling us to stay close, but invisible. We hid within the woods near the main house. The time seemed to drag. The new vampires had arrived. They quietly showed Renesmee. There was quite a shock. We remained still. There was nothing for us to do. I heard the question, "What is the werewolves' part in this?" I waited, like the others to see what Jacobs response would be. All I heard was, "We will stop them." So I might lose everything. I just found my imprint. Just found some peace. Some happiness. Here it may be all swept away. My anger, and jealousy were obvious. The others stayed quiet. Seth scratched at the ground hearing my thoughts.

After some time, Jacob came out to talk to us. "Listen, I know we're a pack. I think it would be better, if you guys ran with Sam. It's just to keep our lands safe. We can't let anything happen to the humans. It's our job to protect them. Go back to La Push. Just do as Sam says, unless I say otherwise." My hackles stood up. Jacob gave me a pleading look, "Leah I'm sorry. Please you have to understand." I turned and ran towards La Push. The others nodded, and left heading back to La Push. I headed straight home, phasing back and went right inside.

The calendar read December 13th. Work 7am - 3pm. So mom was at work, and I was home alone. I grabbed towels and headed for the bathroom, and locked the door. I turned on the hot water, letting the bathroom fog up with steam. I slipped out of my clothes and climbed in the shower. I stood there just trying I collect my thoughts. There was so much going on now. I just felt the tears start streaming down my cheeks. My mom could lose everything. Both of her children could be killed. All she'd have is Charlie. I decided to wash up, and get out. I went to my room and got dressed.

The next two days passed quickly. it was finally Friday. Hunter had come down for the weekend. He could tell something was on my mind. I wasn't willing to talk. He didn't push the issue. He just stayed close to me. He'd rub my back. He offered to get me something to drink, or eat. I politely declined. He, and my mom exchanged concerned nods. How were the others so calm about this. Our lives could end. Was their pride that powerful, it over ruled their brains. Sam, and Emily were over visiting.

I got up to get my sweatshirt from my room. I just wanted something to curl up in. Sam followed me. "Hey I was hoping we could talk." I looked at him, "About?" Sam stepped in and spoke softy, "Not fighting Jacob, or myself. I know being under my command, even temporarily is hard. I know it's not ideal having to run with us. Thank you for not being so angry about it." I nodded, "What's the point of getting angry. Not like it's going to solve anything. Anyways, I don't want to talk about this right now. I want to spend what time I may have left with Hunter." Sam looked at the floor, then his eyes met mine, "Leah we're created to fight. It's our job to protect the humans from vampires." I looked at him clenching my jaw, "She's not human. None of them are." Sam sighed pinching the bridge of his nose, "Leah she's his imprint. We protect our brothers, and sisters. Please don't do this." I shook my head, "I'm not doing anything. I'm coming to the reality that, I've been sentenced to death." I walked past him, and sat back down with Hunter.

"Everything ok?" Hunter asked. I curled up beside him. "Yeah I'm ok." I laid my head against Hunters chest. Emily smiled softly, and looked up as Sam came back out. My mom smiled walking out joining us. She must have been able to sense the tension in the air. She smiled, "How about we go out for lunch?" Emily smiled, "Sounds like a great idea." Sam nodded smiling. I remained quiet. My mom came over and took my hand, "Come with me." I did as she said.

We went to her bedroom, and sat on the bed. The door was closed. She held my hands in hers, looking at me. "I know there's a lot going on right now. I know you've not said anything to Hunter. Your lips have to be sealed. So what's going on?" I sighed, "Make it look like I had an accident. That way it would give him closure. He would eventually be able to move on." My mom just pulled me into her arms and hugged me tightly. Emily knocked on the door, and slipped in quietly. "Hey girls. Lets get some fresh air. We need to tell Hunter something." My mom nodded, "We'll say depressed. Holidays without your dad. It's really hitting you." I nodded. We walked back out. Sam, and Hunter smiled, "Lets go eat." Sam headed out the door. Emily smiled, linking arms with me and pulled me outside. "Is she ok Sue?" Hunter asked once I was outside. "Yeah. She's having a really hard time not having her dad around." Hunter nodded, " She didn't tell me because, she was afraid of upsetting me. I miss my mom still. There are days that's it's hard. Leah fills that emptiness." My mom smiled hearing that.

Hunter headed back home Sunday evening. We weren't going to see each other Christmas Day. We decided to we'd exchange gifts on Christmas Eve. Once we'd exchanged gifts, he was heading to Seattle to spend Christmas with Aunt Sandra, and Uncle George, and the cousins. Then on Christmas Day, after visiting there, he'd visit with Aunt Leslie, and Uncle Alex, and those cousins.

The week was uneventful. We stayed busy, running the perimeter. Sam was busy with new wolves phasing for the first time. It was just hard being back here, running patrols with Sam's pack. I'd left for a reason. I kept my thoughts quiet, and protected the land like I was supposed to. Paul remarked mentally, "Leah's not killed any of us. The world must be coming to an end." Quil remarked, "Why do you feel like causing problems. Just let her be." I ignored Paul's jab. We finished our patrol up and went back home.

It was finally Friday, and I was Port Angeles bound. I'd not seen Hunter all week. I made sure I had his presents with me. It was a long ride up. I finally got to the house and parked. He wasn't home. I grabbed the presents, and let myself in. I set the presents on the coffee table, and laid down on the couch. I yawned and closed my eyes. The drive up, plus patrols had made me very tired. I fell asleep with ease. Hunter had come home and was quiet. He sat on the love seat, watching the television quietly. I came around in the early evening. The sun had set. There was a soft glow from a light. I stretched looking around. Hunter smiled, "Tired huh." I yawned once more, "Yeah. Been busy in La Push." Hunter smiles, "Pizza is in the kitchen. It was delivered about ten minutes ago." I got up, and headed to the kitchen, and ate dinner with him.

Sunday came all to fast. Hunter just smiled holding a small box. It was about the same size as the box I held. "Here you go. It's not fancy, but you'll understand." His smile was so perfect. I took the box, and handed him the box I held. He smiled, "Open yours first please." I carefully slipped the turquoise ribbon off the box. I opened it to find a beautiful, silver infinity bracelet. "It's a promise that I will love you for infinity. No matter what happens, I will always be there for you." I smiled tearing up. It was beautiful. The sentiment behind it was so touching. He smiled and gently wiped away my tears. He then proceeded to open his box. He pulled out the two bracelets. "They're braided. Several pieces making it one. Like us. I thought you could wear one on each wrist. It shows that I will always walk beside you, and support you. Doesn't matter what side I'm on." Hunter smiled, "You have such a way with words." He leaned over kissing me gently. I wore my bracelet, as he did both of his. We sat quietly together for sometime, just enjoying one another's company. It was close to 11:00pm when we decided it was time for him to get on the road. We walked out together, after he'd locked up the house. "Get home safely. Call my cell when you get in." I smiled, "I promise." We were on our separate ways.

I pulled in just before 1:00am. I climbed out and walked inside. My mom was asleep on the couch curled up. She had been watching It's A Wonderful Life. I quietly covered her up. The tree sat by the window all lit up. Hanging on the tree was my parents first ornament. It was of two doves holding a ribbon, with the year they started going out. I smiled thinking of my dad. I remembered all the good times we had together. I pulled out the photo album that sat on the bookcase. I curled up in his chair beside the tree and started looking at photos. There was a photo of him holding me on his lap, and he was laughing. His head thrown back, and I was smiling. I pulled out my phone texting Hunter letting him know I was home safely. I set it on the arm of the chair, and went back to looking at photos. Soon it was hard to keep my eyes open. I gave into the sleep, and was out.

I came around the next morning. My mom was quietly sitting on the couch. "Glad you made it home safely. Thank you for covering me up." Seth came out and plopped down beside my mom. "Merry Christmas." I smiled, "Same to you as well." My mom handed us each an envelope. "It's not that I couldn't go shopping, I wasn't sure what to get you." I smiled, "Don't worry about it." I didn't open the envelope. Seth was too eager, "Cool 25.00 dollars. Thanks mom" he hugged. "So we're heading over to Charlie's for Christmas. The whole gang is going to be there." I nodded and got up getting showered, and dressed.

The day passed quietly. The whole entire wolf pack was crammed into Charlie's tiny house. Gifts were exchanged. I kept quiet not thinking about anything in particular. I just watched quietly. Everyone was happy, content. Nobody seemed to be thinking about what was about to happen. I watched quietly. I was missing Hunter so much. I focused on thinking about the ocean. I didn't need anyone in my thoughts today. Not ever. Being in a pack you didn't have much choice. Evening had come, and I couldn't pretend anymore. So after a long day, I finally headed home. I laid down in bed and gave into sleep. I was exhausted.

I had been up for a while. I was sitting at my desk starting to write in my journal.

December 27, 2006

What do I write. I've neglected journal entries. My life has become so busy. School had taken over, along with Hunter. Now things have changed. Death is looming near. This battle is coming. I'm not ready. Nobody is ever ready to deal with their own demise. I won't finish school. I won't ever get married. It's so much to process.

I shut my journal and put it away. I couldn't write anymore. The knot just grew in my stomach. Sadly I knew my days were coming to an end.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34 ~ The Battle. La Fin**

It was finally here. This would be my last night in this house. This place held so many memories. I sat for hours in my room, quietly thinking. I went through memories, like it was a private movie. I decided to give my journal one final entry. What do you say? I just let my thoughts bleed onto the page.

_December 29, 2006_

_I know I've neglected to write. I'm sorry I've done this. Life has just been so busy. It's like I'm standing in the middle of a highway, and everything is flying past me. I'm not trying to complain, there's just to much to process. It's hard right now because, my life is going to come, to an end. Hunter gave me an Eternity bracelet. It was a promise to love me forever. How can you love forever, when someone won't be around forever? I just want to tell him what's going on, but I can't. He needs to stay safe. This battle will end everything. My mom has a story all conjured up, to tell him. I hope he'll find someone to make him happy, once I'm gone. This isn't how I saw my life going. I finally had everything I wanted. _

I stopped writing, because the tears were blurring my vision. It was almost time for dinner. I shut my journal, and put it back in its usual spot.

Charlie had come over for dinner. My mom was happy to have Seth, and I joining them. "It's nice to have a family dinner. I miss these." We both smiled at her. This was our last meal. We laughed, and reminisced about the good times. I'd not seen Hunter in a week. Christmas Eve was the last time. We'd been talking. I had made up excuses that I was really busy, and needing to spend time with my family. He was very understanding.

We'd finished dinner and were hanging out in the living room. There wasn't much to do. Everyone was happy. There was no fighting, or arguing. We just enjoyed each other's company. My mom looked over at me. I stared at the window. Charlie glanced over and whispered to my mom, "Is she ok? It's like she's become a statue." My mom turned her head slightly, not taking her eyes off me, "She had a rough week. She's been depressed since Christmas. Not having Harry around was really hard on her." Charlie nodded, "Oh. Seth seems ok." My mom smiled, "He seems to not hold onto it so hard. He's also a lot quicker to open up. He'll tell you how he's feeling. Leah has become very reserved about, how she feels regarding Harry's death." Seth smiled and kissed my mom's cheek, "I will be home tomorrow. I'm going to hang out with the guys. I love you." He smiled, and hugged her. She hugged him back tightly, "I love you. Please be careful." He nodded, "I will. Love you too mom. Bye Charlie. Leah I'll see you later." He took off out the door. Charlie settled into the couch. He held my mom's hand happily. I got up and went to my room and shut the door. My mom looked down, trying not to cry. One child had left, one to go.

I pulled out a piece of paper and started to write.

_Dear Mom, _

_I want to start by saying, I love you. You've always been there for me. I couldn't ask for a better mom. You've taught me so much. I will remember all the great times we had together. You were such an inspiration. You never turned your back on me. Thank you. You always understood. I know this is going to be hard, but you'll be strong. I will always be with you. I'm glad you found happiness once again. Charlie is a great guy. The way he makes you smile, makes me know you're in great hands with him. I'm sorry this isn't longer. I love you mom. Always smile. Don't be sad. Everyone has a purpose. Mine along with the others, was to keep people safe. You were the best friend, anyone could have asked for. I will miss you._

Love  
Leah

I folded the paper in half, and left it on the desk. I got up and grabbed the phone, and sat on my bed. I dialed Hunters cell phone. It rang, and rang and finally went to voicemail, "Hey you've reached Hunter. You know what to do." I waited for the beep, "Hey it's me. I just wanted to say I love you, and miss you. Hope you're having fun. Thank you for everything you've given me. Guess we'll talk later. Hunter I love you." I hung up. I clenched my jaw trying not to cry. I quietly opened my window and slipped out it like old times. Once I was out, I made sure to shut it behind me. I made my way down to the beach.

I looked off at the dark water. The snow was starting to fall again. It was sticking to the ground now. For the first time in a long time, I actually felt cold. I'd felt numb. I needed some time before I went to meet up with the others. I wondered if they were with their imprints. What were their final words to the ones they loved. Were they truly prepared to give up their lives. Were they scared like I was. As the snow started to slowly amount I decided it was time to face the inevitable. It was some time after midnight when I walked through the wood. Foot prints of the others were left in the snow. As I walked I became extremely nauseated. I tried my hardest to fight it. The knot was unbearable. Before I could take another step, I doubled over vomiting away from the trail of footprints. I leaned against the tree for support. I felt a hand gently touch my shoulder. I turned around to find Embry. "You ok?" I shook my head, "Yeah. Dinner didn't agree with me." Embry looked into my eyes, "You're a horrible liar. Do you need a hug?" I smiled a little at him and nodded. He, and I hugged. It was totally out of character for both of us. "I know you're scared. So am I. We won't be alone." He was absolutely right. We wouldn't be alone. We'd witness each other's deaths. Our last images would be our brothers, and sister dying. Slowly we let go. "Time to meet up with the others." Embry spoke softly. We had split up, and stripped of our clothing leaving it by trees, and phased.

We walked to find the rest of the pack, including the newest wolves. I could hear the other's eagerness ready for a fight. So they weren't scared. Sam nodded at us once we joined the others. A few others showed up, and we were all assembled. "This is the time for rest. No fighting. No practicing. Nothing. Just rest for now, and take it easy. We'll know when it's our time to meet up with the others." We did as we were told. It was quiet as the snow fell. There was no movement on our end. Just the sounds of our hearts beating. Sometimes a soft whine, or growl. There was the mental chatter. Some were picturing what would happen. Others thought about their mates. Seth's thoughts were loud to me. I'm not sure if I focused on them. I could hear his louder than anyone else's it seemed.

I looked over at him. I was lying on the ground, my head resting on my paws. He was remembering the first time he phased. Then he thought about our dad. All the good times we had together. Then the heart attack memory was painful. Seeing it through Seth's eyes, crushed me. That was the first time I saw the pain Seth was in. He wasn't over it. He put on a brave face. Seth continued to flip through thoughts. Good times he had at school. The happiness he felt joining Jacob's pack. Keeping the Cullen's safe. Bella's pregnancy. When I went missing after the council meeting. I saw how scared he was about losing me. Then he started going through everyone's faces. He spent some time on our mothers. He focused on her happiness. Then the last face was mine. He was remembering me smiling, and laughing. He turned and looked at me. His warm brown eyes showed it all. He was going to miss me. I felt a knot in my stomach. He quietly moved over and laid down beside me.

Sam was thinking about Emily. He thought about her getting hurt. He was remembering touching her scar for the first time. He kept flipping through all the images of Emily smiling. He thought about her moving on without him. The conversation between them was hard to listen to. "I'm so proud of you. I know this is going to be hard. You're doing the right thing. I promise I'll be ok. There will never be anyone to replace you. I will move back to the Makah reservation. I couldn't be in this house without you. I love you." Sam just held her. I could see the tears streaming down her cheeks. Sam shook his head trying to push the thought out. For as much resentment that I had towards them, I felt bad. Emily would never find love again. She cared too much for Sam. She'd rather be alone, then try and replace what they had.

Paul's thoughts, along with Jared's were all about killing. They were both too eager. Their thoughts bounced all over the place. They thought about Rebecca and Kim but weren't focused on them. They had their goodbyes as well. They had left both girls teary eyed. They kept imaging ripping vampires apart. Paul was too happy remembering the battle with the newborns in the same clearing. They both wanted the kill, no matter what cost. They kept thinking, "We're designed to do this. We'll die protecting our land." They both looked at each other and nodded. Sam looked at them nodding. He agreed with them.

The newer wolves were roller coasters. Some excited for the fight. Others afraid of going up against such a large number of vampires. Somewhat startled by hearing others thoughts. Some very intrigued, others feeling like they were invading our personal space. I looked around again. They were so young. They didn't deserve a judgment day. How must their parents feel? First the shock of their son, turning into a wolf. Now they're going off to die. It was a war that wouldn't be won.

The night had passed, and dawn was breaking. Sam looked at us. "Time to move. No one is to speak. Just listen to what I say. Let's line up within the tree line. We need to be able to see the Cullen's, and the others that have joined them. We also need to be able to see the on comers. Keep your eyes, and ears open at all times. Do not go off alone. You follow orders." We lined up as we were instructed and waited. It was quiet, too quiet. If you listened hard enough, you could hear the snowflakes hit the ground. The Cullen's, along with the others arranged themselves into formation. Jacob had come over to see us. He, and Sam nodded at each other. There was no dialogue between them. The nod was a simple, thank you on Jacob's behalf. He turned around, and left us to rejoin the Cullen's. The only noise from our side was panting, and our beating hearts. Our hearts that wouldn't be beating much longer.

It was as they appeared out of thin air. There was very little noise on their part. They emerged from the trees in perfect formation. Covered in long grey cloaks from head to toe. We were unable to see their faces. They didn't speak. They moved in such a graceful manner. Slowly they shifted their positions. It was intriguing to watch. We'd never seen anything like this. There were a lot. Sam tensed up at the sight of them. Others started to tense up as well. They were moving towards the Cullen's formation. Sam gave the order, "Move forward now. Split up and join on either side. We stand behind our brother, and these innocents." If I could have allowed it, my jaw would have dropped. Sam considered them innocents. Just back in September he was ready to kill Bella, and her unborn child. It was amazing how a bond, could change everything.

We watched as the formation came to a stop. Nobody faulted their movements. They stopped once eyes were laid on us. Bella turned around and looked at us, then put her focus back on The Volturri. Edward was speaking to Carlisle. We listened quietly, "They're worried about the faces they don't recognize-Zafrina and Senna in particular-and the wolves, naturally. They've never been outnumbered before. That's what stopped them."

We watched as they stood there in front of us. The tension in the air was like a thick fog. The crimson eyes that watched us, terrified me. The honeys colored eyes were no longer a threat. Whispers amongst the vampires were being listened to carefully. "Should I speak?" Carlisle asked. Edward hesitated, and then nodded, "This is the only chance you'll get." We watched as Carlisle moved forward several steps alone. He was not looking for a fight, only to speak calmly.

The one who appeared to be the true leader, stepped forward as well. Some of the vampires behind him, crouched down, and bared their teeth. They were ready to attack. The leader who Carlisle referred to as, Aro raised a hand to stop them. "Peace." was all he said. We listened to Carlisle protest, that he had not committed any crime. Aro wanted to punish those who had committed the supposed crime. We the wolves had protected this child because she was Jacob's imprint. She was innocent. Carlisle continued to argue for Renesmees life. Another ancient vampire with white hair stepped forward. He looked around demanding that the informant come forward. What informant? Was this the vampire that saw Renesmee. She had sentenced us to death.

This beautiful vampire walked forward. She didn't say a word. She kept her eyes locked on the other two blonde female vampires. That was one thing about them, beauty. The ancient white haired vampire was standing in front of her. In one fluid movement, he slapped her across the face. My stomach turned at this. The other two vampires she was looking at were furious. They hissed at this. Nobody said a word, nor dared to move. Renesmee kept her fingers tightly entangled in Jacob's fur. It took everything Jacob had to keep his thoughts clear. He just growled at the vampire. There was some confusion going on. It went quiet as Aro had taken, Irina's hand and looked lost in thought. Moments later he spoke, "And so we have a mystery on our hands, it seems. It would appear the child has grown. Yet Irina's first memory was clearly that of an immortal child."

Aro wanted the complete truth. He looked at Edward. I looked out of the corner of my eye as Renesmee, clung to Bella. She stayed quiet. I couldn't imagine the pain, or fear Bella felt. She could lose her daughter, and for what? Just because an impulsive vampire, ran off without the full story. She was so quick to assume, when she didn't have the correct facts. Edward gave his mate and child a kiss before leaving their sides. He touched Carlisle's shoulder as he passed. Esme's whimper caused a lump to spring up in my throat. I could only image what must be going through my mother's head back in La Push. Was she waiting by the phone for the call. Was she busying herself, or had she shut off.

We all continued to watch in silence. Aro's eyes closed, as he held onto Edwards hand. The thoughts of the pack members were silent. Aro's eyes snapped open, as he looked at Edward. Calmly Aro asked if he could meet her. Within that second, Bella was cradling her daughter in her arms. Edward agreed to allow the meeting to proceed with a simple nod of the head. The two vampires started walking back towards us. The guard tensed up, not trusting our side. They walked to the middle of the field. Edward asked Bella to bring the young child. Aro had two guard members on either side of him. Bella did the same as well. She had the big vampire Emmett, and Jacob on either side of her.

The meeting flowed smoothly. Caius was very distrusting of Aro. He was furious the whole time. Aro was eyeing Jacob. Edward spoke, "It doesn't work that way." Aro looked right at all of the wolves. "Just an errant thought." Edward spoke again, "They don't _belong _to us, Aro. They don't follow our commands that way. They're here because they want to be." That's when Jacob growled. I did not want to be here. Being part of a pack, sometimes you have to do what you're told. Aro spoke again, commenting on our loyalty to the Cullen's. Edward replied explaining we coexist in each other's worlds. Our commitment was to protecting human life. This was something the Volturri disregarded.

Jacob let out a soft whine. Edward murmured to Jacob, "He's intrigued with the idea of . . . guard dogs." This outraged the entire pack. Multiple thoughts of, "I will not be a guard dog. I'm a wolf. There's a difference. I would never work for them." were being shouted loudly. Snarls filled the air from the entire pack, including myself. "I'm done being a guard dog." I remarked. Sam barked a sharp command at us, "ENOUGH!" We all fell silent.

Aro continued to stand where he had been speaking with Edward. All of the sudden he motioned for his guard forward. Edward quickly retreated back with the others. Jacob stood there baring his teeth at Aro. He was cursing more, than I think any of us ever knew possible. Renesmee pulled on his tail to make him follow. We all continued to watch, and wait for the word. Aro, and the white haired vampire he called, Caius started talking. Caius was furious with Aro. Once again Aro spoke calmly, and Caius listened. What was going on. Everyone was curious. Then all ears perked up when we heard, "The werewolves." My heart stopped beating. It felt like the rug had been pulled out from underneath me. I felt like I was going to vomit. Just by this ancient vampire uttering those words, struck such fear. Aro spoke calmly trying to reason with Caius. Suddenly Edward spoke up. He explained we weren't werewolves. We weren't controlled by the moon. The final thing that was mentioned was, we knew their secret. Yet again, Aro explained to this vampire, who was to anxious to kill that we weren't a threat.

Things were quiet momentarily. So the questions lingered, "What was going to happen? How was this going to unfold? How many minutes did we have left?" Caius demanded to speak once again with Irina. She came forward quietly. We listened with everyone else. That's when we found out that she'd come to spy on us. Paul was angry, "So all of this is happening because we killed her mate. She's angry because the leeches," I quickly interjected, "Paul, you mean the Cullen's. Respect them please." Paul nodded, "Sorry for my lack of better terms." Seth looked at me, and smiled faintly.

We listened to what Caius had to say. He'd prompted Irina if she'd wished to make a formal complaint against the wolves, and Cullen's. She wished not to. She looked at the Cullen's and apologized. She truly was remorseful. It didn't matter. Nothing could change what was going to happen. In an instant Caius raised his hand, giving a signal. All that was heard throughout the tree's was a metallic screeching sound. It rang through our thoughts, and ears for what seemed like hours. The vampires moved away, and flames, were now occupying the space, where Irina had been standing. Caius was all too amused by this. It was hard to watch her sisters, who stood there in shock. They were furious. In seconds one of the sisters lurched towards Caius. Edward quickly caught her arm, as Carlisle caught her by the waste. Her other sister took off. Rosalie, and Emmett tried to stop her. She used her ability to shock people, and broke free of both of them. She was once again stopped by another male vampire. One who seemed to care about her deeply. Edward shouted out someone's name. I could hear one of the sisters demanding her sight back. I wasn't aware of what happened. Carlisle quickly explained that attacking wouldn't solve anything.

All eyes were on our side. We looked at the Volturri. The guards were ready to attack. Aro spoke to a vampire named Amun. He was so tense. His mate stood beside him not moving either. Aro asked simple questions. Amun answered him, but remained on guard. Aro continued to ask about Renesmee. Amun explained what he had seen while here. Then my stomach knotted up. Aro smiled. "And do you believe that she should be allowed to live?" I couldn't believe he was asking such a question. I growled, "Why shouldn't she be allowed to live. Her mother died for her. Every child needs their mother. Every mother needs their child." I could swear all eyes were on me after that thought. Bella hissed hearing Aro's question. Amun explained that there no danger with her. Aro turned around. Amun called on him once again. He wanted to leave, with his mate. Aro nodded, and spoke to him before Amun, and Kebi took off leaving us.

We all continued to watch as Aro moved down the line of witnesses. Once again he asked another vampire about this precious child. Once again the female vampire Siobhan agreed with what Amun had stated. So she was safe. We all were. They were going to leave now. Well one could only wish. Aro was back by his guard when he spoke, "She is unique . . . utterly, impossibly unique. Such a waste it would be, to destroy something so lovely. Especially when we could learn so much . . ." He sighed. This sent us all on to a high alert, even more so than before. Was this it now? "But there is danger, danger that cannot simply be ignored." Then a Nomad named Garrett stepped forward, and spoke. There was quite some discussion. Garrett was honest. He was going to protect this child, family, and witnesses. I admired him. Aro listened carefully. After this Aro spoke, "Let us counsel." Caius repeated him, and they disappeared amongst the grey cloaks.

This was when I knew Renesmee would survive, but we wouldn't. Bella's voice was calm, and soft, "You remember what I told you?" I watched out of the corner of my eye. The scene unfolding was heart breaking. It was hard enough to know what lay ahead of us. Watching Bella say goodbye to the child she fought so hard for, killed me. Edward spoke softly to Bella. Jacob kept quiet. His thoughts were silent. I watched as Edward said goodbye. She was on Jacob's back now. Jacob looked at Bella. His thoughts were too personal for me to even listen.

I focused on the dark cloaks across from us. We could hear the farewells amongst the vampires on our side. That's when I saw why Seth liked the Cullen's so much. I saw why he trusted them. They were very close to being like us, humans. Why had I never listened to Seth? I felt absolutely horrible now. There was no time to apologize. It was strange to watch what happened next. It distracted me from my guilty feeling for the time. Edward whispered to Bella, "Chelsea is trying to break our bindings," Sam look at the vampire who stayed with Aro, his bodyguard. Edward moved quickly to Carlisle. It started making us nervous. What was going on? "Keep your eyes, and ears open." Sam thought. So these vampires had mental weapons. It was very intriguing, yet scary. The small blonde vampire with the guard let out a loud snarl. Bella smirked. Everyone, including guard members were shocked by her snarl. There was something going on we couldn't see. There was some sort of invisible attack between the two sets of vampires.

The ancient Volturri members had finished speaking amongst themselves. Aro spoke, "Before we vote," I hated that they kept delaying the answer. Were they enjoying this? Then I realized, of course they were. They enjoyed torture. "Let me remind you," Aro continue, "whatever the council's decision, there need be no violence here. " Aro watched quietly speaking to Edward, and Bella. He wanted to take them for his own. Have them join the Volturri. Aro's voice pulled me back to reality, "Let us vote, then," he spoke reluctantly. Caius voted to, "DESTROY IT!" The other ancient vampire, Marcus saw no theat. He wanted to leave us in peace. Aro still had to vote. My stomach turned more, and more. It was like someone was trying to ring it out, like you would wet clothing of excess water. The knot in my chest was so tight, I was having trouble breathing. What kind of wolf was I? I was panicking. Sam looked over at me. I looked back at him out of the corner of my eye. He didn't say a word, in fact nobody did. "I must make the deciding vote it seems." Aro said. Edward spoke with Aro about Renesmee. I could no longer follow their conversation. This buzzing in my head started. Things sounded different, almost muffled. What was going on? Then I heard her name, ALICE! She had appeared out of nowhere. Her mate followed her direction, with two others accompanying him. There was a male and female vampire. Both were tall. They looked like the two vampires from the Amazon that had already been here. Alice introduced them. Hulien, and her nephew Nahuel were the newest vampires to come into this death sentence. Hulien spoke, and explained how her sister became pregnant with the child, and died giving birth. I swallowed hard hearing that. My tailed twitched nervously. I could remember how Bella looked. I could remember her scream of pain. I felt a shiver run down my spine. Aro started question Nahuel about his diet. He could survive on blood, or human food. He continued to explain he stopped growing physically at age seven. Nahuel was approximately 150 years old. There were several more questions asked. Bella answered. Caius was anxious for Aro's vote. Bella and Aro exchanged a look. All was quiet. The tree's creaked in the distance, as the wind blew gently. "Dear ones, we do not fight today." Carlisle, and Aro spoke momentarily, before Aro returned to his guard, and they disappeared into the woods.

Everyone was in shock. Then electricity ran through the air. Everyone was ecstatic, including the wolves. Slowly the pack moved away. The howls of excitement, and victory rang through the woods. I took off on my own. I waited patiently in the woods til I heard the last pack members thoughts disappear. I took the time to do one perimeter check back around the big white house. I wanted to make sure the Cullen's would be safe. Nobody, or nothing was there waiting to ambush. I took off running through the woods. I ran back to where I'd left my clothes. I phased back and pulled them on. I was wearing a t-shirt and jeans. I made my way after some time to the edge of the highway. It was a two lane road. It was dark, and nobody was on the road. I needed some time to clear my head. I walked quietly not sure where I was going. I didn't have anywhere to go. I was alive, but I no longer knew who I was. I used to be Leah Clearwater. I was the damaged girl. I was the girl who had her heartbroken. I was the girl who imprinted. I found my happiness in the end, but now everything had changed. My relationship would be different with Hunter. Would he choose to stay once he knew the truth? My mother thought I was dead. Was it worth going back? Should I run away, and start fresh? I wasn't sure where to turn. In the end, I was the girl who'd lost everything. I'd lost myself.


End file.
